She felt at once tamed and untamed, as if the man who was putting his brand on her sought not to restrain her but to chain her in such a way that her wildness would be released only by him.
Frantically, the love battle between them leaped forward to its ultimate conclusion, roiling both in its waves until neither could have escaped. But neither wanted to escape, and when the end came they reached for it with all the physical strength and mental will of two strong, healthy bodies and minds.
The deep, hoarse cries of mutual exultation would have left a listener wondering who had surrendered to whom. But in the depths of the huge brass bed, the participants in the small war were unconcerned.
Twelve
The remainder of the week passed in a confusion of plans, hastily contrived parties given by delighted friends, and early conclusions to everything.
It was the early conclusions to the evenings that were making her a nervous wreck, Leya decided analytically on the morning of her marriage as she dressed in the wool suit she had bought for the ceremony. For a man like Court Tremayne, it just didn’t seem natural. He was the kind who would have taken advantage of the availability of a fiancée. She would have bet money on it. So why had she spent every night of the past week alone in her bed?
His restraint was making her far more nervous than anything else could have done, she realized sadly. And underneath the bridal jitters lay her own sense of guilt.
It was she who had asked for marriage. She felt as if she’d tricked him into this final commitment. Leya remembered the brief shock she’d seen in his face the night she’d made her demand at Keith’s party. Nervously, she bit her lip as she automatically went about dressing.
Would he convince himself at the last minute that he didn’t have to honor such an extreme demand? she wondered. Visions of being left at the altar crashed through her brain for the hundredth time. If he’d really wanted marriage, why hadn’t he taken advantage of her surrender? Why had he held his passion in check since that fateful night of the party?
She shouldn’t have pushed him into marrying her, she thought abstractedly. She shouldn’t have taken him up on his offer to let her make any request she wanted in exchange for her own commitment.
The waves of guilt and nerves ebbed and flowed around her as she hurried through the last of the morning ritual. What if he simply didn’t show up at the church? Could she really blame him if he decided she didn’t have the right to this much? Why had she pushed him? Whatever had possessed her? But she’d asked for the one thing she wanted. Or thought she wanted.
Leya shook her head wistfully. It was like being granted a magic wish and making it too hastily. Only in retrospect was it clear she’d asked for the wrong thing. She should have begged for his love. Not marriage. What was marriage without a guarantee of love?
Well, there was nothing left but to carry on now, Leya told herself bracingly as she surveyed the demure skirt and short jacket of her outfit in the mirror. The suit was of a decidedly neutral color, perfect for a wedding that was to be held in the minister’s office with only a few witnesses, or so Leya had thought when she chose it. Now, as she looked at the abnormally pale color of the garment, she realized she had wasted her money on something she would never again wear. The lack of assertiveness in the color annoyed her. It didn’t attract any of her senses, and the result was irritating. Still, one could hardly wear flaming red to one’s own wedding!
The long length of dark braid had been twisted into a formal knot at the nape of her neck and the only note of color obvious in the mirror was that of the emerald earrings and her silver-green eyes. Leya hesitated over her jewelry box and then decided against adding anything else to her attire. She looked exactly as she felt: not quite herself. So be it.
The knocking on the door downstairs pulled her out of her reverie and, pausing to slide her stockinged feet into a cream-colored pair of heels, Leya headed for the stairs.
“Leya! You look beautiful!” Cynthia announced appreciatively, stepping inside and surveying her boss affectionately.
“Why do people always say that to brides?” Leya grumbled, not feeling beautiful at all.
“Because it’s the truth. Brides always look beautiful!” Cynthia grinned, following Leya into the living room.
“You really think I look okay?” Leya’s voice held a good portion of the skepticism she was feeling as she searched for her purse.
“Have I ever lied to you?” Cynthia demanded.
“Yes! The day you told me it wouldn’t hurt to have my ears pierced!”
“I never came straight out and said it wouldn’t hurt! You should have had a clue when I poured two glasses of wine down your throat before taking you over to the department store!” Cynthia retorted righteously.
In spite of her precarious mood, Leya laughed, “And by the time I found out it wasn’t completely painless, it was too late to quit. One ear had already been done!”
“It was worth it. The earrings are fabulous.” Cynthia located Leya’s purse in the corner of the couch. “Ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose. God! I wish my stomach weren’t so nervous!”
“Court’s is probably just as bad,” Cynthia assured her, ushering Leya out the door. “Where’s your suitcase?”
“Good grief! I almost forgot it!” Leya flew up the stairs to collect the luggage Court had instructed her to bring to the church.
“Still no clue on where you’re going for the honeymoon?” Cynthia asked when she’d traipsed back down the stairs.
“No,” Leya said, smiling privately. “But I think I can guess. I expect it will be a beach somewhere.” Assuming there was a honeymoon!
“I like him, Leya. I have from the first. He’s the kind of man who will take care of his woman.” Cynthia’s voice softened and Leya glanced at her wryly.
“I always thought I took pretty good care of myself,” Leya mumbled, secretly pleased at her friend’s approval.
“It will be good for you to have a man around this big house,” Cynthia said diplomatically as they went down the steps to her car.
“Fine words from a woman who’s been keeping poor Mark dangling for months,” Leya chided.
“You’ll be dancing at my wedding one of these days, never fear!”
The closer they got to the church the more grateful Leya was that Cynthia had volunteered to drive her there. She really was out of whack emotionally today, she decided, taking a grip on her reeling thoughts. But, dear God! What would she do if Court didn’t show?
And then, quite suddenly, there he was waiting beside her brother on the steps. Leya sucked in her breath and wondered at her own fears. Of course, Court wouldn’t stand her up. He had given her his word, hadn’t he? What had she expected? She could trust him! She took a grip on her emotions as Cynthia parked the car. She would make it up to Court, she vowed silently. She would teach him to love her as much as she loved him.
The queasy feeling in her stomach died. This was what she wanted. She yearned to marry this man regardless of the risks. She would never have run the same risk with Alex Harlow, her instincts said. But with Court, it would be worth it. She would see to it that he wouldn’t regret being forced into this.
For the first time in a week, Leya managed a serene, confident smile. One of her normal smiles, she realized. She was feeling a little more normal, a little more sure of herself at last. It was only as she reflected on her personal turmoil since meeting Court that it became clear how far she had strayed from the routine of her rational thought processes.
“I almost didn’t recognize you,” Court teased in a whisper as he reached her and took her hand in his.
“You expected me to wear orange or red?” She grinned.
“One never knows with you.” He looked as if he liked it that way.
The wedding passed in a solemn blur. Leya repeated her vows in a soft, firm tone and listened as Court did the same. The large hand wrapped around hers was steady and solid feeling but
his kiss at the end of the short ceremony was curiously remote.
But there was no time to analyze his brief, restrained embrace. As soon as the minister finished, Keith and Cynthia were crowding around to congratulate the new couple.
“I have to hand it to you, Leya.” Keith grinned, hugging her. “You picked a damn good way of ensuring that Court doesn’t go to work for a rival firm two years from now. Regardless of what he does when his contract is up, he’ll have to keep in mind the bonds of family loyalty!”
“Don’t give your sister the credit for this wedding,” Court complained good-humoredly. “I worked my fingers to the bone getting her to the altar!”
“Poor dear, you must be exhausted!” Leya mocked, aware of the heat in her face.
“I am. I intend to spend a good portion of the next few days in bed, recovering!”
“Court!” The heat in Leya’s cheeks went up several degrees.
“You’d better get me out of here before I say something I shouldn’t,” he instructed pleasantly. Already he was leading her down the steps of the church as Cynthia, Keith, and the minister trailed behind. “We’ll be back first part of next week.”
“Where are you going?” Cynthia demanded as Court handed his bride into the front seat of his car and checked to make sure the suitcase was in the trunk.
“For a nice leisurely drive up the coast, and then a nice leisurely couple of days at an inn I know in Oregon!” Court announced cheerfully. “Think you two can hold things together while we’re gone?”
“For every day you spend on this honeymoon, I’m tacking on an extra day to the period of your contract,” Keith warned.
“As far as I’m concerned,” Cynthia declared, “you can stay away as long as you like. At this rate, I’m going to have the last of my school expenses paid well in advance!”
“What a pair of mercenaries!” Leya grinned as she turned to wave at her brother and her friend.
“Just old-fashioned businessfolk,” Court told her as he pulled away from the curb.
“Court?”
“Umm?”
“Are we really going back to that inn in Oregon?”
“Yes.”
She eyed his profile. “I have no objections. I mean, you know I love that coastline along there. But why that particular place?”
“Can’t you guess?” he asked softly, flicking a short glance across the seat.
She hesitated. “We’re going to start over? Go back to the beginning?”
“Not quite. I’m not that patient,” he laughed.
The drive was comfortable and leisurely most of the way, although they ran into a lot of rain at several points en route. Court handled the bad weather with calm sureness, and by the time they had reached the isolated inn, it was almost sunset.
“If we hurry we can make it down to the beach to watch the sun disappear,” he told her encouragingly as they checked into their room.
Ten minutes later, they had both changed into jeans and were wearing warm jackets for the small venture. Leya found herself inexplicably keyed up, as if now that the crisis of the wedding itself was past, some of her nervousness was returning. Firmly, she put the reaction aside, twining her fingers with Court’s as he led her down the path to the rocky beach.
Surprisingly, they walked in silence for a time, allowing themselves to unwind. The winter sun sank quickly, though, and when it did the chill in the air increased rapidly.
Still they walked, and Leya let the elemental surroundings soothe her jangled but receptive senses. It was good to be back here with Court at her side.
And then, just as she fully relaxed and let herself absorb the pleasure of the moment, Court spoke, his voice a dark thread of sound in the evening shadows.
“What’s wrong, Leya?” he asked carefully.
She lifted her head, startled at his perception. “Wrong?”
He gripped her hand in a small movement of impatience. “I know there’s something bothering you. Don’t deny it. I’ve told you before, we’re very much alike. That means there’s not much point in trying to hide things from each other. Tell me, please.”
He stopped, turning to face her, his features an unexpectedly anguished mask. “What is it, Leya? Are you sorry you made the request that you did? Are you regretting our marriage already?”
She stood quietly under the weight of his hands on her shoulders and forced herself to tell him the truth. He was right. There could be only truth between them now.
“No,” she whispered honestly. “I’m not regretting the marriage. But I think…I think I asked for the wrong thing…”
“The wrong thing!”
She nodded sadly. Tenderly, tremulously, her eyes full of love, she touched his cheek. “I should have asked for something much more important. Someday…someday, I will.”
His fingers sank into her shoulders. “What’s more important?” he bit out. “What do you wish you’d asked for?”
“Your love,” she replied simply. “Someday, when you’re ready, I will ask you for your love. Will you be able to give me that, Court?”
“My love!” The words were an explosion of sound between them. His eyes glittered in the darkness. “My love! Leya, you crazy little fool! I’ve loved you since that first weekend! You must have known that! Why else would I have given you the earrings?”
“Oh, Court,” she breathed, her heart singing. “Why do you think I wore them? I love you, too. I think I have from the beginning.” Her silver-green eyes gleamed in the fading light as she met his gaze. She made to move closer against him and was surprised when he held her away, his eyes searching her face anxiously.
“You love me?” he grated.
“Yes, Court.”
“But you didn’t think I loved you?” he persisted, as if unable to believe such stupidity.
“You never told me,” she pointed out kindly, smiling. “All I knew for certain was that you wanted me.”
“And on the basis of that, you were willing to risk marriage?”
“Or anything else you asked of me,” she confessed.
He pulled her close then, warming her with his own body heat, his arms closed tightly around her. “Oh, Leya, Leya, I can’t believe it. I was the one who was prepared to wait for your love. I was going to capitalize on the fact that you wanted me and then, finally, trusted me. I figured that sooner or later you’d see that what we have is something special, something precious. I thought that eventually you would respond to my love…” He hesitated, and then Leya heard the softly muttered oath.
“Damn!”
“Court!” she protested. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m thinking of the time we wasted!”
She gave a little gurgle of laughter. “I hadn’t noticed! It wasn’t very long ago that we were standing exactly where we’re standing now. I don’t think you can honestly say that a great deal of time has been wasted!”
“Yes,” he contradicted feelingly, “it has. We could have been married that first week!”
“Oh, Court,” she whispered. “I’m sorry about all the misunderstandings. But for a time I couldn’t think straight. I was so afraid…”
“Afraid that I saw you as some sort of conquest? It was never that way, Leya my love. Never! I am capable of getting my own way without going to such lengths as seducing the sister of the firm’s owner!” He sounded mildly indignant.
“Yes, Court,” she agreed meekly.
“I think I fell in love with you when I saw the way you laughed at me in that picture in Keith’s office,” he went on judiciously. “But I knew it for certain when I tracked you down to this inn and realized you were the only woman in the world I wanted to have with me when I went for a walk on the beach. I love you, darling Leya. Every inch of you from your sassy little tongue to your incredible response to me in bed. I’m going to love you for the rest of my life. We’re so much alike, you and I.”
“I suppose that was part of the problem.”
“I kept telli
ng you it was,” he chuckled. “I knew you had to work your anger out of your system. If I’d been in your shoes, I’d have had to do the same. I thought I had it made the night you revenged yourself on Alex Harlow. If only your brother hadn’t made his untimely entrance on the terrace!”
“I was angrier than ever at the thought of having been so weak as to nearly let you talk me into starting over. But I wanted to start again, Court. I wanted it with all my heart. If my brother hadn’t shown up when he did, I wouldn’t have been able to resist! But it was myself I was angry with, darling. I realized that finally. And it was myself I was hurting by not giving up the battle sooner.”
“You’re wrong there! I was the one who was hurt!” He groaned ruefully, squeezing her tightly against him. “I was so sure in the beginning that it was going to be easy to slide you neatly, simply into my bed after what we’d discovered here in Oregon. I knew you’d be angry when you found out about the deception, but I figured that if we’d made love by then, your anger couldn’t last. I was a fool. I went about it all wrong!”
“Poor Court,” she teased softly, lovingly. “You kept trying to short-cut things and I kept making it difficult!”
“I’m glad you appreciate what a little obstructionist you were!” he teased.
“Oh, I do. But it’s probably been a good experience for you. Something tells me you’ve had everything far too much your own way in life!”
“No,” he said with great certainty. “Until now I’ve never had the one thing a man really needs.”
“What’s that?”
“A woman who can’t be bought. A woman who loves him in spite of his inability to handle her properly. A woman who trusts him enough to marry him, not even knowing for certain that he loves her.”
“You didn’t know for certain that I loved you,” she noted gently. “Yet you were willing to marry me, anyway, and hope.”
He sighed contentedly. “Like I said. We’re a lot alike.”
“I don’t know about that,” she protested laughingly. “You haven’t behaved at all as I rather expected you to behave this past week. Somehow, I saw you as the type who would have moved right in with or without a ring.”