Chapter 23: Tuesday 4th August.
Sarah was very surprised to see me returning to work so soon and couldn’t wait to hear how my plans regarding Debbie were going.
“They bought it,” I informed her to her obvious delight,
“It’s all up to Rachel and her legal eagles now.
We will just have to wait and see.
Now, has anything exciting happened since I’ve been away?”
“More bad news,” she replied quietly,
“Old Mister Paterson, the Financial Director, passed away last Tuesday.”
I sighed as I recalled how cheery the old man had been, how helpful he had been whenever I met him on his frequent trips from Glasgow and it was he who recommended and persuaded me to accept my recent promotion to the Edinburgh office.
“God Bless him,” I sighed solemnly, “I’ll miss the old guy. Now, anything else happen?”
I was relieved to be told there was nothing, so, I resumed the reconciliations I hadn’t touched for sixteen days.
I remained trying to catch up on lost time until 3pm when Sarah appeared before me with a concerned expression on her, usually happy, face.
“There’s an urgent message from the Chairman,” she informed me, “he would like to see you in the boardroom in a few minutes.”
“It’ll take more than a few minutes to get to Glasgow, my dear.”
“He’s not in Glasgow,” she replied, “he must have come here straight from Mr. Paterson’s funeral.”
A shiver ran down my spine at the thought of Mr. Hunter, the Chairman, being in the building - as everyone lived in fear of this man who dictated how his company was run and tended to fire anybody who didn’t please him.
I, very nervously, made my way along the long corridor to the door of the boardroom and knocked upon it. “Enter,” I heard his unmistakably authoritative voice call.
Hesitantly, I entered the smoke-filled room to see, to my surprise, a sea of solemn faces.
The massive table in the centre had ten smartly suited, elderly people seated along each side - some of whom I recognised as Branch Directors from Glasgow and Edinburgh offices - some were strangers.
At the far end of the table sat Mr. Hunter, the chairman, between his wife and Mrs. Simpson, his secretary, who constantly scribbled furiously into a shorthand notebook.
“Ah, Brian come in” Mr Hunter commanded, waving me to close the door and come to a solitary empty chair at the end of the table, which I stood behind, until ordered to sit.
This situation was reminiscent of a day at high school when I was hauled up before the headmaster for fighting with another boy.
The circumstances I cannot recall, but, the lecture given by the headmaster was much more frightening, despite any defence I had, than his punishment of six of the best.
“Brian,” Mr Hunter began, “As you are no doubt aware, Mr. Paterson, unfortunately, passed away last week and we the Board of Directors know that he will be sadly missed.”
“Indeed sir,” I interrupted, “I was told the sad news this morning and not only will he be sadly missed by the company, but, myself for the help and guidance he had given me over the years.”
“Yes Brian,” he sighed giving me his no-nonsense stare, making me realise that it wasn’t a good idea to interrupt the chairman - especially in the middle of what I quickly realised, was a full Board of Directors meeting.
“Anyway, we now have a vacancy on the board for a Deputy Finance Director.”
“We, the Board, have studied your employment record,” he continued, “there are several recommendations from Mr. Paterson to various promotions with glowing reports from your superiors at both here and Glasgow. So much so that we, The Board, wish to offer the vacant directorship to you. How would you feel about that?”
I was stunned at being offered this unexpected promotion, and I’m sure I looked it. I did not want to appear too enthusiastic; quite frankly, I had no idea how I felt.
“Mr Chairman, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Board.” I began respectfully.
“I would greatly appreciate any opportunity to serve the company in a greater capacity, but you may not be aware that I had a bit of bad news myself recently.
My fiancée, to whom I was to be married next month, was killed in the recent road accident at Harthill.”
“Until last week my life, for the foreseeable future, had been mapped out for me, but now, Sir, Ladies and Gentlemen, my life is in a certain amount of disarray at the moment.
I feel I would need time to decide which direction my life should go from here and respectfully request if the Board grant me some time to evaluate my future plans.”
“Yes quite,” Mr. Hunter sympathised, “we are very sorry to hear your tragic news - and we all sympathise with you - would this promotion not help to overcome any problems?”
“I suppose it would sir, but at this precise moment I am not sure if I could handle the responsibility involved - tell me, sir - what does the position entail?”
“Apart from attending monthly board meetings we feel you should probably speak to Mr. Swan as it is his position you would be getting.’’
He indicated towards my former boss, Mr. Dennis Swan appointed Mr. Paterson’s successor, who looked a little uneasy as he quickly summarised his former job and I thanked him asking.
“Would this involve returning to Glasgow, sir?”
“I suppose it would” Mr. Hunter answered, “Is that a problem?”
I thought hard about the situation I was being handed. It sounded like the answer to all my prayers, but I wasn’t sure.
“Mr Chairman, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Board, I am deeply honoured and humbled to be given this opportunity, but, I believe it would be a decision that should not be taken lightly - may I have some time to think about it before I decide?”
“How long would you need? Mr. Hunter asked annoyed but rather considerate.
“How long could the board give me?” I asked.
“Well,” he answered after a few whispers with Mrs. Simpson, “the next board meeting is on Monday 31st – Today is the 4th - so you could have until Tuesday 18th at noon to make your decision. Giving us a fortnight to appoint someone else if you decline our offer, Okay?”
“Okay sir,” I confirmed, “The board will have my answer by the 18th.
Could I, again, thank you, Mr chairman and Ladies and Gentlemen of the Board, for considering me for this position.
You know that my commitment to this company is 100% but I do have a lot of other matters on my plate at the moment and I would not want to be forced into making a hasty decision without examining all of the consequences. Thank you again Sir, Ladies and Gentlemen.
May I be excused now sir?”
I stood as he dismissed me and after thanking them again I hastily made my exit.
Outside the door I heaved a huge sigh of relief to get the tension of the meeting out of my muscles before slowly returning to my office where I slumped into my chair heaving another huge sigh as Sarah, showing deep concern appeared before me.
“Well? She asked cautiously, “What did ‘hier fuehrer’ want? Did he fire you?”
“Quite the opposite,” I replied, “they promoted me to Deputy Finance Director.”
“A director,” she squealed in delight, “That’s fantastic,” then realising that I wasn’t as ecstatic as she was she asked, “Isn’t it?”
“I don’t know,” I replied, “they’ve given me until the 18th to make a decision - I don’t know if I should accept?”
“ And why the hell not?” she scolded me.
“Because, as I’ve just told Mr. Hunter and his cronies, my life is a total mess at the moment and I need a bit of time to sort out where I go from here.”
“Would this not be just what you need to help you sort out the mess?”
“It probably would, but, I’ve got bigger things on my mind at the moment.”
“Such as?”
“Such as,” I continued
, “I’ve a wedding to cancel,
I am worried about Debbie’s adoption,
Jaclyn still needs me to help her.
I just can’t give up everything I’ve got here and bugger off back to Glasgow like I don’t care.”
“Glasgow?” Sarah sighed.
It hadn’t occurred that this promotion would mean leaving her.
“Yes, Sarah, Glasgow.
I went through the same routine when I moved from there to here so now I’m settled here I don’t know if I should give it all up and go back?”
Sarah slowly came around the table, and placing her hand on my shoulder whispered,
“I’m sure whatever you decide it will be for the best.
You know I will help in any way I can and with God’s help we’ll manage to get through this and reach the right decision without hurting too many people.”
Planting a gentle kiss on my cheek she slowly exited leaving me to ponder.
Over the next few weeks I felt intolerably lonely.
I kept having to remind myself Tracey wasn’t there anymore and how much I missed her as I sought the company of the others, but Rachel was always out promoting ‘Diamonds’ record - which reached 28 in the charts on Monday 10th August and was destined to go much higher.
We didn’t see much of Debbie as she spent every available moment with Tony and Catherine. She would get the train most evenings to Glasgow or some nights they would come to collect her and treat her to an array of special nights out.
Jaclyn and Marcie hardly left each other’s side and spent many hours in Marcie’s room looking through photographs and talking late into the night about the lives they led with Marcie’s husband and Jaclyn’s fathers.
Most incredible of all - the closer I got to Lynda - and more friendly I became - the more distance she put between us because, as she put it, she didn’t want to hurt people she cared about and she didn’t know how to love someone without hurting them.
“The trouble with me,” Lynda sighed, “I have always believed someday my Prince will come, and, unfortunately, I have to kiss a few frogs along the way, but, more often than not - they turn out to be toads instead.”
I eventually found out the whole saga regarding the murder and felt a great sympathy for Lynda as she relayed the sordid details one evening.
Lynda confessed how she felt an insatiable rage when she found the man she loved in bed with another woman.
“On my way to school the following morning I saw the woman leaving his house, very pleased with herself, after their night of passion.”
“Taking a knife from his kitchen I lunged at him as he slept off his restless night and was surprised at how easily the knife entered his chest – killing him instantly.”
“After I realised he was dead,” Lynda confessed, “I couldn’t go to school as I had some blood on my uniform. I returned home and fortunately my mother had gone out shopping so I quickly changed my clothes and headed to school where I told them I had a doctor’s appointment that morning.”
“The body lay undiscovered for a few days and then a lengthy murder investigation began.
By that time I had washed my uniform and it wasn’t unusual for my clothes to have blood on them as I frequently got into fights, at school, mostly over boys.
The following weekend I, as usual, put all my clothes into the washing machine and by the time it had finished its cycle there was no evidence I was ever there.”
I could tell she was very distressed with how easily she had killed him and deeply regretted the murder especially since the ‘other’ woman spent several weeks being grilled by the police and later stood trial, which went on for a number of weeks.
“I knew,” she continued, “the police had no case against this woman and I studied every newspaper to see if they had any evidence against me.
Nobody suspected me, as I told no one I was seeing him, and as he was breaking the law by sleeping with a fourteen-year-old he had told no one of me.
Eventually a verdict of ‘Not proven’ was delivered and she was released. That pleased me,” Lynda smiled, “but I was more pleased that the bitch had paid for her ‘crime’ of enraging me in the first place and the months she had spent in prison on remand were suitable compensation for that”.
Lynda begged me never to reveal anything of her part in the murder and I believed she was full of remorse for the trouble she had caused.
I promised to keep her past another secret between us.
Sarah kept telling me when I burdened her with my problems “It was all God’s will.
He’ll send a sign to guide you.” which did not really help as the day of decision grew nearer.
For ten days I felt miserable while those around me grew happier.
I tried to console myself with the fact that it was I whose brilliant idea brought Debbie, Tony and Catherine together.
It was me who asked Rachel to find Jackie’s roots, bringing Jaclyn and Marcie together.
I was also the one who asked ‘Diamonds’ to record ‘Baby - You’re an Angel’ the day I became engaged to Tracey.
In addition, if it were not for the fact that I asked Marcie to ply Tracey with fertility drugs she would probably be alive now.
I kept recalling Tracey’s warning on the day I met Jackie;
“That big heart of yours will get you into trouble one of these days.”
How right she was.
“I would have thought,” Emily sighed,
“You would have to move back to Glasgow once you married Tracey?”
“On that point,” I assured Emily, “You’re correct, but I hadn’t discussed it with Tracey.
I figured we would eventually end up in Glasgow or somewhere in the 50 miles in-between.
I hated other people making decisions for me, but this was a very unusual situation.”
Tears came to my eyes as I explained.
“I had been handed an opportunity to go back to ‘square one’, - to forget all about Debbie, Sarah, Marcie, Lynda, Rachel and her ‘Diamonds’ and start again, without Tracey.
Perhaps I should rent a small flat near Glasgow City Centre?
Perhaps I was getting too old to start all over again?
Did I have the inclination to begin again?
Would I have the strength to do it all over again?
“I was so unbelievably lonely – for, perhaps, the first time in my life.
Not knowing how to cope frightened me, Emily, it really frightened me.”
I, again, excused myself to have a very tearful cigarette on the balcony while Emily prepared her umpteenth cup of tea and something for us to eat.
I could tell she was very sympathetic to the plight I was going through back then and understood how distressed, and depressed, I was both then and now as I relayed - and relived it - all over again.