When it was time to go, Mrs Farmer said Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. School starts again on January 7th so I will see you all then. Time was running out to make friends so I stayed in the classroom as everyone left and watched Sunya pack away. She took ages over it, putting her books in a neat pile and making sure her felt tips had their lids on and were in the packet in rainbow order. I got the feeling she was waiting for me to speak but she was humming really loud and Granny always says It’s rude to interrupt. Five strands of hair were dangling over her face and she kept brushing them out of her eyes. Words like Perfect and Shiny and Beautiful flew around my head but before I could say anything, Sunya walked off. She went to get her coat and I followed and she ran down the corridor and I followed and she burst out of the door and onto the drive but stopped when I yelled OY.
It wasn’t the nicest word I could have said but it got her attention. She turned around. Most people had gone and it was already dark but Sunya’s hijab glowed like fire in the orange streetlights. I wanted to say Happy Christmas but Sunya doesn’t celebrate it so I said Happy Winter instead. She looked a bit confused and I panicked that maybe she didn’t celebrate the seasons either. She started walking backwards and she was getting further and further away and I didn’t want her to disappear into the night so I shouted the first thing that came into my head. HAPPY RAMADAN.
Sunya stopped moving. I ran up to her and held out my hand and said it again. Happy Ramadan. The words were hot in the frosty air and each syllable steamed. Sunya stared at me for a long time and I smiled hopefully until she said Ramadan was in September. I was scared I’d offended her but then her eyes started to sparkle and the freckle by her lip twitched as if she was about to smile. The bracelets tinkled. She lifted her arm. My fingers trembled as her hand moved towards mine. They were twenty centimetres apart. Ten centimetres apart. Five centi—
Someone beeped a horn and Sunya jumped and gasped Mum. She ran up the gritted path and got into the car. The door slammed shut. The engine started. Two twinkling eyes stared at me out of the front window. My fingers were still trembling as the car disappeared down the dark road.
Jas bought me loads of little Christmas presents, a Man Utd ruler and rubber and a new can of deodorant ’cos I had run out. She wrapped them all up and put them in one of my football socks so it looked like a stocking. I made her a photo frame out of cardboard and stuck the only picture I could find of us two inside it. No Mum. No Dad. No Rose. Just me and Jas and I surrounded us in black and pink flowers ’cos she’s a girl and they are her favourite colours. And I got her a box of her favourite chocolates to make her eat something as she is too skinny.
We made chicken sandwiches with stuffing and microwave chips and we ate it in front of Spider-Man. It wasn’t as good as I remember from my birthday but I still enjoyed it, especially the bit when Spider-Man beats up The Green Goblin. Roger nibbled bits of my sandwich but Jas didn’t touch hers. Saving room for my chocolates she said, and she ate three of them later, which made me feel nice. She kept glancing out of the window with a sad look on her face, but every time I noticed, she changed it to a grin.
Mum didn’t send any presents and Dad has no idea what day it is ’cos he just lies in bed and drinks and snores and drinks and snores so he didn’t give us anything either. The only thing he did all Christmas was bang on the bedroom floor and shout Stop making that racket when we were singing carols as loud as we could.
At nine o’clock there was a tap on the window and Jas looked at me and I looked at her and we both crept to the curtain. For a millisecond I thought it might be Mum knocking on the glass and I felt annoyed with my heart for beating faster when I knew that it wouldn’t be her. We moved the curtain out of the way and Jas’s breath tickled my ear. I couldn’t see anything, just snow in the front garden, but when my eyes got used to the dark I could see a sentence written in all the white. I Love You. Jas squeaked as if it was for her and I felt disappointed ’cos that meant it wasn’t for me.
She pulled on Dad’s wellies and tiptoed outside and she looked funny with her pink hair and green dressing grown, dragging through the snow. I pressed my face against the window and watched her find the card that Leo had left in the garden. I saw the way her eyes shone and her smile burned and her heart swelled in her chest like a cake rising in the rusty oven we use for cooking at school. She kissed the card as if it was the best thing ever and it got me thinking.
It took me two hours to make. With my special pencils, I drew lots of snowflakes and a snowman that looked like me and a snowman that looked like her and I covered the whole thing in glitter. Roger sat next to me as I worked on my bedroom floor and he kept getting in the way so now he has silver sparkles in his tail. It was easier to write in the card than talk to Sunya’s face, so I put down all the things that I’ve wanted to say since the very beginning. Things like Thank you for being my friend and I like looking at your freckle and Dad is a bully but I am not like him so please wear the Blu-Tack ring. I told her all about the audition and how everything would be perfect once Mum came home and sorted Dad out and how we could be friends after January 5th. Even though I was running out of room, I invited her to come to Manchester Palace Theatre to watch the talent show and said that she would be amazed by Jas’s singing and impressed by my dance moves. I signed the card from the only superhero she didn’t get one from at school. Spider-Man.
I had to wait for Jas to go to sleep before I could sneak out and post it. The first time I crept into her room to see if her eyes were closed she was whispering into her mobile phone and said Get out you spying little bastard. But the second time I checked she was fast asleep with her hand dangling off the bed and her mouth open and her pink hair in a tangle on the pillow. The wind chime tinkled as I gently closed her door.
It was eleven o’clock when I put on my wellies. Roger rubbed his orange fur against the red rubber like he knew we were about to have an adventure. His green eyes looked wider than normal as we tiptoed towards the front door. Sssh I said ’cos he started to purr. In the quiet cottage it sounded as loud as a truck’s engine. The door creaked as I opened it and the snow crunched as I trod on it, but nobody heard and I walked down the drive without being seen.
It felt so naughty to be outside on Christmas night, I kept expecting police sirens to start screaming and blue lights to start flashing and someone to shout You are under arrest. But nothing happened. Everything was silent. All I could see was the moon bouncing off the frosty tops of black mountains. I was free.
I felt giddy and I started to laugh and Roger looked at me as though I was mental. I felt like there was no one in the whole world except me and my cat and we could do anything that we wanted, anything at all. I danced on the spot and waved my hands in the air and wiggled my bum and no one saw. I spun on the spot, faster and faster, the snow a white blur that zoomed past my eyes. I jumped on a wall and walked across it, my smile bigger than it has been since I scored the winning goal. The card flapped in the breeze and I imagined Sunya reading it, maybe even kissing the place where I’d written Spider-Man.
That made me feel I could fly so I leapt off the wall and flapped my arms and for a millisecond I actually hovered above the snow before landing on one foot. My blood fizzed like Coke at a party and my body tingled and I had more energy than ever in my life. Roger said Meow, and I said I know what you mean and I told him I’d meet him back at the cottage. I kissed his wet nose and his whiskers tickled my lips. Then I ran off as fast as I could and the cold wind stung my cheeks.
My hands slapped against Sunya’s gate. I was panting and my pulse was racing and my feet were aching and my sweat was pouring. This was the bravest thing I had ever done ever and I grinned as I pushed open the gate and ran up Sunya’s drive. When I jumped over the fence, I flew for a bit before landing in the back garden. I was a bird and Wayne Rooney and Spider-Man, all rolled into one, and there was nothing that scared me, not even Sammy the dog who had started growling in the kitchen.
I put the card on the lawn and grabbed a stone. I threw it at Sunya’s window but it hit the wall two metres below. I picked up another. This one went flying over the roof. In books they always make it sound dead easy to hit the glass but it took me eleven goes. When the pebble tapped the window, I ran away and hid behind a bush ’cos I wanted to watch Sunya find the card. I counted to one hundred. Nothing happened. Sammy the dog was going crazy, barking and scratching and snarling, but I didn’t care. I found a bigger rock and this time it was perfect and hit the window hard.
I sprinted back into the bush, cutting my cheek on a thorn, but it didn’t sting one bit. This time I only had to count to thirteen. A curtain twitched and a dark face appeared at the window. A light came on.
The dark face was a man’s. Sunya’s dad said something over his shoulder to a person I couldn’t see. He stared at the patio and the trees and the lawn and Sammy was growling and I was scared they’d let him out and he would find me in the bush.
Sunya’s dad didn’t see the card. After five minutes checking for burglars, he closed the curtains and turned off the light and Sammy barked for a bit but then he was quiet. I didn’t dare move and I stayed as still as I could, even though a twig was digging into my leg and I had pins and needles in my right foot. I stared at the window and I didn’t blink so my eyes dried up. I wanted Sunya to open the curtains and I wanted her to find the card and I wanted to make her happy ’cos she’s been so sad at school. I thought about her hand and my hand and how they had almost touched, and I wondered what would have happened if her mum hadn’t beeped the horn.
After about a million years, I thought it was safe to move. A church clock struck midnight as I crawled out of the bush and the branches snapped and the sleeve of my t-shirt ripped. When I picked up the card, it was all soggy. Snow had soaked right through the envelope. I was just wondering if I should leave it, or take it back home, or post it through Sunya’s letterbox, when I heard the door of the kitchen slide open.
I should’ve run or I should’ve hid or I should’ve dropped to the floor and covered myself in snow, but my body wouldn’t move. My back was facing the house so I had no idea who was there and I jumped when a wet tongue licked my hand. Sammy wagged his tail and it beat against my shaking leg. I counted to three and turned around and there she was. Her scarf was wrapped around her hair but not as tight as normal. It looked like she had just done it dead quick. She was wearing blue pyjamas and I could see her toes and they were tiny and brown and straight and they looked nice on the kitchen floor.
She stared at me and I stared at her but she didn’t smile. I said Hello and she put her finger to her lips to tell me to be quiet. I walked over to her and my arms felt too long and my legs felt too clumsy and my face felt too hot. I held out the card but she didn’t look happy like Jas had done. I said This is a card especially for you and I made it out of paper and glitter, just in case she didn’t realise how special it was. She didn’t say Thank you, or Wow, or squeak like girls do when they’re happy. She said Sssh and looked over her shoulder as if she was scared someone might see.
I forced it into her hand and waited for her to open the envelope. If she saw the snowman in the Spider-Man top and the snowman in the hijab, I knew she’d find it funny and smile. But she hid the card under her pyjamas and whispered You have to go. When I didn’t move, she looked over her shoulder again and said Please just go. I am not allowed to be friends with you. My mum thinks you’re bad news. I said WHAT and she put her hand over my mouth. My lips burned like they did on Halloween. A floorboard creaked upstairs. She said Go and pushed me away and she grabbed Sammy by the collar and pulled him inside. A light came on as I ran through the snow and Sunya closed the kitchen door. And this time when I jumped over the garden fence, I fell rather than flew and I hit the cold earth with a bang.
I DROPPED MY Coco Pops when Jas walked into the kitchen. I hardly recognised her. You look like—I started and she said Shut it and Find me a pen. It took her ten goes to write a message to Dad. One said Please please please come but that sounded desperate so the next one said Be there or else, which was a bit too threatening. After eight more attempts, she finally wrote Dad. We have a surprise for you and would love it if you came to Manchester Palace Theatre today. Be there at 1pm for the show of a lifetime.
I was more nervous than the most nervous person I can think of, which right now is the lion in The Wizard of Oz. My tummy had something bigger and scarier than butterflies inside it. Maybe they were eagles or hawks or something. Or now I come to think of it they could have been those monkeys with wings that kidnap Dorothy and take her to the witch that’s scared of water. Whatever they were they kept biting at my skin and swooping about not in a nice way. I was scared I’d forget everything and mess it all up so I kept running through the words and the dance moves as Jas wrote the message. That’s why she had to get rid of the sixth attempt at Dad’s letter. I knocked her pen with my leg as I did a high kick. For some reason that made me laugh and she looked annoyed and whispered Bloody hell, Jamie. And then she wouldn’t let me help her put the letter on Dad’s bedside table or set the alarm in his room for quarter past seven in case I was too noisy.
It was five o’clock in the morning and we were being quiet, even though there was no need. Dad doesn’t wake up in the middle of the day when the TV’s blasting in the lounge. But we still tiptoed about and our hearts went BOOM if one of us dropped something or spoke too loud. Jas was scared ’cos Leo was picking us up in his car and she didn’t want Dad to see and go mental. I was scared ’cos if Dad found out and stopped us from going then he’d never get back together with Mum. We’d sent her a letter on December 28th so it has had plenty of time to get there. And Mr Walker’s no excuse this time. The college is closed at Christmas. I made the competition sound really important and kept writing Once in a lifetime opportunity, which I had heard on TV, and Come to Manchester to change your life, which I stole from the letter, and Please Mum I really need to see you, which I just made up myself.
I can’t believe I’m doing this Jas said as we went into the lounge to wait for Leo. My horoscope said not to take a risk today. She breathed shakily with her hand on her chest. Let’s go through it one more time I said, watching her fingers tremble. We whispered the words and did the dance moves but Roger had woken up and kept getting in the way. He was twisting his body around my feet so I couldn’t jump or stamp or run around Jas like I have to do in verse one. He was getting on my nerves but I was trying not to say anything ’cos I still felt bad for slamming the door in his face. When I tripped over his sparkly tail though, I lost it a bit. I leaned down and he looked at me all hopeful as if he was about to get a stroke. But instead of rubbing his fur, I picked him up and took him into the hall and shut him out of the lounge. He kept meowing at the door but I ignored him and eventually he got bored and ran off.
He’s here Jas squeaked. A blue car pulled up outside the cottage. She fiddled with her new hair and said Is it okay. I said Yes, even though it looked strange. She must have dyed it brown last night and it was tied neatly in two short plaits. She looked so like Rose it was weird. I know they were identical and everything, but Jas just looks like Jas now. When I got into Leo’s car, it was like Rose’s spirit had come down from that cloud in Heaven and I missed the piercings and pink hair and black clothes. Jas was wearing a flowery dress, a cardigan and flat shoes with buckles, the last clothes Mum had bought her in London. I was still in my Spider-Man t-shirt ’cos Mum would be disappointed if I turned up not wearing it. I’d made it as smart as possible by wiping it with a cloth and fixing my sleeve with safety pins.
Leo raised his eyebrows when he saw Jas. She looked at him with her face all stressed and said It’s just for today and Leo looked relieved but said You look cute. Then Jas laughed and he laughed and I felt left out so I laughed, and then we were on our way. We drove fast ’cos the letter said it was first come first served and only one hundred and fifty acts would have time to go on stage. We sped throug
h mountains and the sun rose as we climbed up hills and zoomed past farms and wiggled down country lanes. At one point we were driving right into the sun and the car was filled with this orange-yellow light and it was warm, like being inside an egg yolk or something. And everything looked beautiful and everything felt hopeful and all of a sudden I couldn’t wait to get on stage.
A girl with a clipboard came up to us when we arrived and said What is your act and Jas said Singing and dancing and the girl sighed as though it was the most boring thing she had ever heard. She gave us a number, which was one hundred and thirteen, and said Be ready at 5pm to perform. You will get three minutes on stage, or less if the judges don’t like you. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was ten past eleven.
There were loads of people in the waiting room. Clowns juggling fruit, twenty girls in tutus, five women with dogs that do tricks, nine magicians pulling animals out of hats and one knife thrower with tattoos slicing an apple with a blade that he held between his gold teeth. Me and Jas found two wooden chairs in the middle of the room and waited.
The time went fast. We ran through the routine twice an hour. There were so many people to watch and so much to think about that, every time I looked at the clock, the hands seemed to have jumped forward thirty minutes. I kept imagining Dad finding the letter by his bed and rushing into the shower and choosing a smart outfit for the show. I kept imagining Mum putting on a pretty dress and saying It’s none of your business where I am going, Nigel and buying us a Congratulations card at the petrol station on the motorway to Manchester. They’d probably see each other outside and grin and shake their heads and say Kids in a groany-proud way, as if they couldn’t quite believe we were brave enough to organise such a great surprise. They’d choose seats near the front and share an ice cream and enjoy all the one hundred and twelve acts before us, but then we would come on and Jas would look just like Rose and Dad would be happy that she’d gone back to normal and they’d both say Wow when I started to dance in my Spider-Man top.