Page 16 of Tough Enough


  When he felt the icy calm close in on him he knew he had himself back under control.

  “Rafe?”

  He didn’t turn his head. “Come in, Maggie.”

  “I heard Doug leave.” She walked into the room and sat down on the other side of the desk. Her beautiful, clear eyes met his. “I want to have that discussion now, Rafe. I want to know what’s going on and what you’re planning to do to Moorcroft. Because if you’re bent on getting vengeance on him for what happened last year—”

  “Maggie.”

  Her brows drew together sharply as he interrupted her. “What?”

  “Maggie, I have a couple of simple questions to ask you and I don’t want any long, involved lectures or explanations. Just a simple yes or no.”

  “Rafe, are you all right? Is something wrong?”

  “Something is wrong, but we’ll get to that later. Just answer the questions.”

  “Very well, what are the questions?”

  “Did you have a meeting with Jack Moorcroft in Seattle before you caught the plane to Tucson? Did he ask you to spy on me?”

  The shock in her lovely eyes was all the answer he needed. Rafe swore softly and took another long pull on the Scotch.

  “How did you know about that?” Margaret whispered in disbelief.

  “Does it matter?”

  “Yes, it bloody well matters,” she shouted, slamming her fist on the desk. “I’d like to know what’s going on around here and who’s spying on me. I’d also like to know exactly what I stand accused of.”

  “Someone’s been leaking information on the Ellington deal to Moorcroft. You, me and Doug Hatcher are the only ones who’ve had access to the file in the past few days. Just how badly did you hate my guts after what happened last year, Maggie, love? Bad enough to come back so that you could get a little revenge?”

  “How dare you?” Margaret was on her feet. “How dare you?”

  “Sit down, Maggie.”

  “I will not sit down, you deceitful, distrusting, son of a …” She gulped air. “I will not go through this a second time. Do you hear me? I won’t let you tear me apart into little pieces again the way you did last time. You don’t have to throw me out, Rafe. Not this time. I’m already gone.”

  She whirled and ran from the room.

  Rafe finished the last swallow of Scotch and threw the glass against the wall. It shattered into a hundred glittering pieces and cascaded to the floor.

  CHAPTER TEN

  RAGE, A FIERCE, BURNING RAGE that was an agony to endure drove Margaret from the study. Behind her she thought she heard the crash of breaking glass but she paid no attention. She fled down the hall to her bedroom, dashed inside and slammed the door.

  She was gasping for breath, the hot tears burning behind her eyes as she sank down onto the bed. An instant later she leaped up again, hugging herself in despair as she paced the room.

  How could he do this to her a second time? she asked herself wildly. How could he doubt her now?

  She had to get out of here. She could not bear to stay here under Rafe’s roof another minute. Margaret ran to the mirrored chest and threw open the doors. She found her suitcase, dragged it out and tossed it onto the bed. Spinning around, she grabbed her clothes and began throwing them into the open suitcase.

  He didn’t trust her. That was what it came down to. After all they’d each been through separated this past year and after finally rediscovering their love for each other, Rafe still didn’t trust her. He was prepared to believe she’d come here as a spy.

  Damn Moorcroft, anyway. If only he hadn’t looked her up that day in Seattle. If only she hadn’t agreed to have coffee with him.

  But if it hadn’t been that unfortunate incident, it probably would have been something else sooner or later. Rafe was obviously ready to believe the worst.

  And apparently he had a reason to worry about a Moorcroft spy, Margaret thought vengefully. He was plotting some form of revenge against his old rival. She just knew it. She was caught in the middle again between the two men and she was furious. They had no right to do this to her.

  She would take the Mercedes, Margaret told herself. The keys were on the hall table. Rafe could damn well make arrangements to get his car out of the airport lot.

  It was intolerable that he had dared to question her reason for being here in Tucson. He was the one who had forced her to come down here in the first place.

  Margaret tossed one sandal into the suitcase and looked around for the other. She dropped to her knees to peer under the bed and to her horror, the tears started to fall.

  It was too much.

  She cried there on the floor until the rage finally burned itself out. Then, wearily, she climbed to her feet and went into the bathroom to wash her face.

  She grimaced at the sight of herself in the mirror and reached for a brush. She wondered if Rafe was still in the study.

  It flashed through her mind that he probably wouldn’t come after her a second time. No, not a chance. In his own way he had sacrificed his pride once before to get her back and that was all anyone could reasonably expect. He was, when all was said and done, a tough, arrogant cowboy who was as hard and unforgiving as the desert itself.

  And she loved him.

  Heaven help her, she loved him. Margaret stared at herself in the mirror knowing that if she walked out this time, he would not come after her.

  There was only one chance to salvage the situation. She was woman enough to know that this time she would have to be the one who rose above her own pride.

  She forced herself to think back on the past few days. She clung to the knowledge that Rafe had changed since last year. He had tried hard to modify his work habits and to realign some of his priorities. He had worked hard to please her, to make her fall in love with him.

  In his own way, he had tried to prove that he loved her.

  Slowly Margaret put the brush back down on the counter. Turning on her heel, she went back through the bedroom and into the hall. The first few steps took all the willpower she had. Her instinct was to turn and run again but she kept going.

  She rounded the corner and saw Rafe leaning in the open doorway of the study, thumb hooked onto his belt. In his other hand he coolly tossed the keys to the Mercedes. He watched her with an unreadable expression. Margaret halted. For a moment they just stared at each other and then Rafe broke the charged silence.

  “Looking for these?” he asked, giving the keys another toss.

  “No,” Margaret said, starting forward deliberately. “No, I do not want the keys to the Mercedes.”

  “How are you going to get to the airport? You expect me to drive you?”

  “That won’t be necessary. I am not going to the airport.”

  “Sure you are. You’re going to run, just like you did last time.”

  “Damn you, Rafe, I did not run away from you last year, I was kicked out.”

  “Depends on your point of view, I guess.”

  “It is not a point of view, it’s a fact.” Margaret came to a halt right in front of him and lifted both hands to grab him by the open collar of his shirt. She stood on tiptoe and brought her face very close to his. “Listen up, cowboy. I have a few more facts to tell you. And you, by heaven, are going to pay attention this time.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” She pushed him backward into the study, too incensed and too determined to pursue her mission to notice just how easily he went. She forced him all the way back to his chair and then she put her hands on his shoulders and pushed downward. Rafe sat.

  Margaret released him and stalked around to the other side of the desk. She planted her hands on the polished wood surface and leaned forward.

  “If this were a romance novel instead of the real world, this little scene would not be necessary. Because of our great love for each other, you would trust me implicitly, you see. You would know without being told that I would never go to bed with you and then turn around and spy on you so th
at I could report to Moorcroft.”

  “Is that right? Your heroes can read minds?”

  “The bonds of love make them intuitive, sensitive and insightful and don’t you dare mock me, Cassidy.”

  “I thought I made it clear I’m not one of those modern, sensitive types.”

  “All right, all right, I accept the fact that this is not a romance novel and you are not exactly the most perceptive, intuitive man I’ve ever met.”

  “I’m no romance hero, that’s for sure.”

  She ignored that. “I also accept the fact that I cannot expect you to come after me if I leave here today. You gave us both a second chance, Rafe. It’s my turn to give us a third. I only hope this does not indicate a pattern for the future. Now then, let’s get one thing straight. I did not make any deal with Jack Moorcroft.”

  Rafe waited in stony silence.

  This was going to be hard, Margaret thought. Resolutely she gathered her courage. “I had not seen or heard from Jack Moorcroft since that debacle last year until he showed up out of the clear blue sky on the Saturday before I was due to come down here.”

  “Just a friendly visit, right?”

  “No, you know very well it was not a friendly visit. He said he thought you might be plotting against him. He told me that since last year he’s had the impression you were gunning for him. He thinks you’re out to get him.”

  “I never said Moorcroft was a stupid man. He’s right.”

  “He also said that he would give a great deal to know exactly what you were planning.”

  “Why didn’t you mention the little fact that you’d seen him before you came down here?”

  “Are you kidding? The last thing I wanted to do was mention Moorcroft to you. Keeping quiet was an act of pure self-defense. The last time I got between the two of you I got crushed, if you will recall.”

  “Damn it, Maggie …”

  “Besides, I told him to take a flying leap. I made it clear I considered myself out of it. I did not work for him any longer. I owed him nothing this time around. I told him I was going to Tucson for my own personal reasons and that was that.”

  “And he accepted your answer?”

  “Rafe, I swear I haven’t communicated with him since that Saturday and I certainly have not handed over any of your precious secrets to him. I don’t even know any of your secrets.”

  “You saw the Ellington file.”

  “I saw it for the first time this afternoon.” Margaret closed her eyes and then opened them to pin him with a desperate gaze. “Rafe, I can’t prove any of this. I am begging you to believe me. If Moorcroft has numbers he shouldn’t have, then you must believe he got them from someone else. Please, Rafe. I love you too much to betray you.”

  “Revenge is a powerful motivator, Maggie,” Rafe finally said quietly.

  “More powerful for you than for me, Rafe.”

  “Are you sure of that?”

  “I love you. When you came back into my life you opened up a wound I had hoped was healed. I was angry at first and frightened. And I didn’t know if I could trust you. But I knew for certain the first night I was here that I still loved you.”

  “Maggie …”

  “Wait, let me finish. Julie said something about what it had cost you in pride to find a way to get me back. She was right. I realize that now that I’m standing here trampling all over my own pride in an effort to get you to trust me enough to believe in me. Please, Rafe, don’t ruin what we’ve got. It’s too precious and too rare. Please trust me. I didn’t betray you.”

  “You love me?”

  “I love you.”

  “Okay, then it must have been Hatcher, after all.”

  Margaret blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

  “I said it must have been Hatcher who gave Moorcroft the numbers. He’s been acting weird for the past six months or so, but I wasn’t sure he would have the guts to actually sell me out. Hatcher’s not what you’d call a real gutsy guy. Still, you never can tell, so I put some garbled preliminary information into the Ellington file to see what would happen.”

  “Rafe, will you please be quiet for a moment. I am having trouble following this conversation.”

  His brows rose. “Why? You started it.”

  She eyed him cautiously, uncertain of his mood. For one horrible second she thought he was actually laughing at her. But that made no sense. “Are you saying you believe me?”

  “Maggie, love, I’d probably believe you if you told me you could get me a great deal on snowballs in hell.”

  She was dumbfounded. Slowly she sank into the nearest chair. “I don’t understand. If you believe me now, why didn’t you believe me a while ago when you asked if I’d seen Moorcroft?”

  “Maggie, I did believe you,” he reminded her patiently. “I asked you if you’d seen him before you left Seattle and you, with your usual straightforward style, told me you had seen Moorcroft, remember? You didn’t deny it.”

  “But you didn’t let me explain. You told me I had to answer yes or no.”

  “All right, I’m guilty of wanting a simple answer. I should have known that with you the explanation would be anything but simple. There are always complications around you, aren’t there, Maggie? And you ran out the door without bothering to try to explain. What was I supposed to think?”

  “That I would never have come down here for revenge,”

  Maggie declared in ringing tones. “You should know me well enough to know that.”

  “Maggie, I know for a fact to what lengths a person will go for revenge. I also know how much I wanted you. It was entirely possible I’d deluded myself into thinking I’d really succeeded in convincing you to come back to me. God knows I want you back bad enough to tell myself all sorts of lies. But when you didn’t deny the meeting with Moorcroft …”

  “Never mind,” Margaret said urgently. “Don’t say it. I’m sorry. I should have stood my ground and yelled at you until you believed I was innocent.”

  Rafe’s mouth curved gently. “You don’t even have to yell. I’m always ready to listen.”

  “Hah. What a bunch of bull. You didn’t listen last year.”

  “Yes, I did.” Rafe sighed. “Maggie, last year you told me the truth, too. I listened to every damn word. When I caught you in Moorcroft’s office you admitted immediately you’d just told him I was after Spencer, remember? You said you’d had to tell him—that it was your duty as a loyal employee of Moorcroft.”

  “Oh. Yes, I did say that, didn’t I?”

  “Our problem last year had nothing to do with your lying to me. You were too damned honest, if you want to know the truth. I’ll tell you something. I would have sold my soul for a few sweet lies from you last year. More than anything else in this world I wanted to believe you hadn’t felt your first loyalty was to Jack Moorcroft instead of me.”

  Margaret closed her eyes, feeling utterly wretched. “Are you ever going to be able to forgive me for that, Rafe? I don’t know if we can go on together if you aren’t able to understand why I did what I did.”

  “Hell, yes, I forgive you.” Rafe pulled two more glasses out of his desk drawer and splashed Scotch into each. He handed one glass to Margaret who clutched it in both hands. “I hate to admit it, Maggie, love, but I was the idiot last year. You want to know something?”

  “What?” she asked warily.

  “I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but I admire you for what you did. You were right. In that situation your business loyalties belonged to Moorcroft. You were his employee, drawing a salary from him and you believed you’d betrayed his interests by talking too freely to me. You did the right thing by going to him and telling him everything. I only wish I could count on all of my employees having a similar set of ethics.”

  Margaret couldn’t believe what she was hearing. A surge of euphoric relief went through her. “Thank you, Rafe. That’s very generous of you.”

  Rafe took a swallow of Scotch. “Mind you, I could have throttled you at
the time and it took me months to calm down, but that doesn’t change the facts. You did what you thought was right, even when the chips were down. You’ve got guts, Maggie.”

  She grinned slowly. “And out here in the Wild West you admire guts in a woman, right?”

  “Hell, yes. No place for wimpy females around here.”

  “I thought you said I was soft. Too soft for the business world.”

  “That’s different. You’re a woman. Being soft doesn’t mean you don’t have guts.”

  Margaret got up, put her glass of Scotch down on the desk and walked around to sit on Rafe’s knee. She put her arms around his neck and leaned her forehead down to rest against his. “You are a hopelessly chauvinistic, anachronistic, retrograde cowboy, but I love you, anyway.”

  “I know,” he said, his voice dropping into the deep husky register that always sent shivers down Maggie’s spine. “I’ve been fairly certain of it all along but I knew it for sure when you grabbed me by the shirt a minute ago, shoved me into this chair and begged me to listen to you.”

  “I did not exactly beg.”

  He smiled. “Pleaded?”

  “Never. Well, maybe a little.”

  His smile widened into a grin. “It’s okay, Maggie. I love you, too. More than anything else on God’s earth. And just to prove how insightful, sensitive and intuitive I can be, I’ll tell you that I understand what you went through a while ago when you came in here and pinned me down.”

  “You do?”

  “Honey, I know firsthand what it’s like to stomp all over your own pride.”

  “Actually, it’s not quite as bad an exercise as I thought it would be.”

  “I don’t know about that. Personally I wouldn’t want to have to repeat it too many times. Once was enough for me.”

  She relaxed against him. “What about Hatcher?”

  Rafe tipped her head back against his shoulder and kissed her exposed throat. “Don’t worry about him. There’s no real harm done. I told you I’ve been letting him see bad information. The Ellington deal is safe.”