CHAPTER XXIII
THE KNIGHT IN DISGUISE
A long, curling wave ran up the shingle and broke in a snow-white sheetof foam just below Dinah's feet. She was perched on a higher ridge ofshingle, bareheaded, full in the glare of the mid-June sunlight. Herbrown hands were locked tightly around her knees. Her small, pointed facelooked wistfully over the sea.
She had been sitting in that position for a long time, her green eyesunblinking but swimming in the heat and glare. The dark ringlets on herforehead danced in the soft breeze that came over the water. There wastension in her attitude, the tension of deep and concentrated thought.
Into the midst of her meditations, there came a slow, halting step. Itfell on the shingle behind her, reaching her above the roar of thebreakers, and instantly a flood of colour rushed up over her face andneck.
Sharply she turned. "Scott!"
She was on her feet in a second with hand outstretched in welcome.
"Oh, how you startled me! How good of you to come so soon! I--shouldn'thave left the house if I had known."
"I came at once," he said simply. "But I have only just got here. I sawyou sitting on the shore and came straight to you. What news?"
His quiet, deliberate voice was in striking contrast to her agitatedutterance. The hand that held hers was absolutely steady.
She met his look with confidence. "Scott, she is going. You knewit--didn't you?--when you were here last Sunday? She knew it too. Shedidn't want you to go really. And so--directly I realized she wasworse--I sent for you. But--they say--even now she may linger for alittle. But you'll stay, won't you? You won't go again?"
His grave eyes looked into hers. "Of course I will stay," he said.
She drew a quick sigh of relief. "She scarcely slept last night. Herbreathing was so bad. It was very hot, you know. The nurse or I werefanning her nearly all the time, till the morning breeze came at last.And then she got quieter. She is asleep now. They say she will sleepfor hours. And so I slipped out just for a little, so as to be quitefresh again when she wakes."
"Don't you sleep at all?" Scott asked gently.
The colour was fading from her face; it returned at his question. "Ohyes, any time. It doesn't matter for me. I am so strong. And I cansleep--afterwards."
He looked down at the thin little hand he still held. "You mustn't wearyourself out, Dinah," he said.
Her lip quivered suddenly, "What does it matter?" she said. "I've nothingelse to live for."
"I don't think we can any of us say that," he answered. "There is alwayssomething left."
She turned her face and looked over the sea. "I'm sure I don't knowwhat," she said, with a catch in her voice. "If--Isabel--were going tolive, if--if I could only have her always, I should be quite happy. Ishouldn't want anything else. But without her--life without her--afterthese two months,--" her voice broke and ceased.
"I know," Scott said. "I should have felt the same myself not so longago. I have let you slip into my place, you see; and it comes hard on younow. But don't forget our friendship, Dinah! Don't forget I'm here!"
She turned back, swallowing her tears with difficulty and gave him aquivering smile. "Oh, I know. You are so good. And it was dear of youto--to let me take your place with her. None but you would have done sucha thing."
"My dear, it was far better for her, and she wished it," he interposed."Besides, with Eustace away, I had plenty to do. You mustn't twist thatinto a virtue. It was the only course open to me. I knew that it wouldlift her out of misery to have you, and--naturally--I wished it too."
She nodded. "It was just like you. And I--I ought to have remembered thatit couldn't last. It has been such a comfort to--to have my darling tolove and care for. But oh, the blank when she is gone!"
Scott was silent.
"It's wrong to want to keep her, I know," Dinah went on wistfully. "Shehas got so wonderfully happy of late; and I know it is the thought ofnearing the end of the journey that makes her so. And when I am with her,I feel happy too for her sake. But when I am away from her--it--it'sall so dreary. I--feel so frightened and--alone."
"Don't be frightened!" Scott said gently. "You never are alone."
"Ah, but life is so difficult," she whispered.
"It would be," he answered, "if we had to face it all at once. But, thankGod, that is not so. We can only see a little way ahead. We can only do alittle at a time."
"Do you think that is a help?" she said. "I would giveanything--sometimes--to look into the future."
"I think the burden would be greater than we could bear," Scott said.
"Oh, do you? I think it would be such a relief to know." Dinah uttered asharp sigh. "It's no good talking," she said. "Only one thing is certain.I'm not going to break with Billy of course, but I'll never go back toPerrythorpe again, never as long as I live!"
There was a quiver of passion in her voice. She looked at Scott with whatwas almost a challenge in her eyes.
He did not answer it. His face wore a look of perplexity. But, "If I werein your place," he said quietly, "I think I should say the same."
"I am sure you would," she said warmly. "I only tolerated it so longbecause I didn't know what freedom was like. When I went to Switzerland,I found out; and when I came back, it just wasn't endurable any longer.But I wish I knew--I do wish I knew--what I were going to do."
The words were out before she could stop them, but the moment they wereuttered she made a sharp gesture as though she would recall them.
"I'm silly to talk like this," she said. "Please forget it!"
He smiled a little. "Not silly, Dinah," he said, "but mistaken. Believeme, the future is already provided for."
Her brows contracted slightly. "Ah, you are good," she said. "You believein God."
"So do you," he said, with quiet conviction.
Her lip quivered. "I believe He would help anyone like you, but--but Hewouldn't bother Himself about me. There are too many others of the samesort."
Scott looked at her in genuine astonishment. "What a curious idea!" hesaid. "You don't really think that, do you?"
She nodded. "I can't help it. Life is such a maze of difficulties, andone has to face them all alone."
"You won't face yours alone," he said quickly.
She smiled rather piteously. "I've faced all the worst bits alone sofar."
"I know," Scott said. "But you are through the worst now."
She shook her head doubtfully. "I'm afraid of life," she said.
He saw that she did not wish to pursue the subject and put it gentlyaside. "Shall we go in?" he said. "I should like to be at hand whenIsabel wakes."
She turned beside him at once. Their talk went back to Isabel. They spokeof her tenderly, as one nearing the end of a long and wearisome journey,and as they approached the little white house on the heath above the sea,Dinah gave somewhat hesitating utterance to a thought that had beenpersistently in her mind of late.
"Do you," she said, speaking with evident effort, "think that--Eustaceshould be sent for?"
"Does she want him?" said Scott.
"I don't know. She never speaks of him. But then--that may be--for mysake." Dinah's voice was very low and not wholly free from distress. "Andagain--it may be on my account he is keeping away. She hasn't seen himfor these two months--not since we left Perrythorpe."
"No," Scott said gravely. "I know."
Dinah was silent for a brief space; then she braced herself for anothereffort. "Scott, I--don't want to be--in anyone's way. If--if she wouldlike to see him, and if he--doesn't want to come--because of me, I--mustgo, that's all."
She spoke with resolution, and pausing at the gate that led off the heathinto the garden looked him straight in the face.
"I want you," she said rather breathlessly, "to find out if--that is so.And if it is--if it is--"
"My dear, you needn't be afraid," Scott said. "I am quite sure thatEustace wouldn't wish to drive you away. He might be doubtful as towhether you would care to meet him again so
soon, but if you had noobjection to his coming, he wouldn't deliberately stay away on his ownaccount. You know--I don't think you've ever realized it--he lovesIsabel."
"Then he must want to come," she said quickly. "Oh, Scott, do you know--Isaid a dreadful--a cruel--thing to him--that last day. If he really lovesher, it must have hurt him--terribly."
"What did you say?" Scott asked.
"I said--" the quick tears sprang to her eyes--"I said that he was unkindto her, and that--that she was always miserable when he was there. Scott,what made me say it? It was hateful of me! It was hateful!"
"It was the truth," Scott said. He looked at her thoughtfully for a fewseconds, then very kindly he patted her hand as it rested on the gate."Don't be so distressed!" he said. "It probably did him good--even if itdid hurt. But I think you are right. If Isabel has the smallest wish tosee him, he must come. I will see what I can do."
Dinah gave him a difficult smile. "You always put things right," shesaid.
He lifted his shoulders with a whimsical expression. "Themagnifying-glass again!" he said.
"No," she protested. "No. I see you as you are."
"Then you see a very ordinary citizen," he said.
But Dinah shook her head. "A knight in disguise," she said.