Peter’s mother was crying. His father looked concerned.
Peter rolled his shoulders back and kept going. “You see, when Molly was born, we thought it best to deal with things the way we did for a number of reasons. I’d be glad to share those reasons with any of you if you’re curious about the details. My point in bringing all this to light now is that I decided last night that I need to live my life openly, without this secret being the weight that continually pulls me down. Molly doesn’t pull me down, understand. It’s the cover-up that has weighed on me all these years. It’s robbed me of my peace.”
Peter looked to me with a clear-eyed expression of relief. I smiled at him. He seemed to have the look of the actor who played Scrooge. When Scrooge awoke to the sounding of the bells on Christmas morning, he was radiant and energized with freedom and great hope for the future.
Peter must have faced the Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come with his parents last night and when he woke this morning, he was a changed man.
Your soul felt its worth, didn’t it? You don’t have to stay in that cocoon of secrecy anymore, Peter.
His expression seemed to cloud over slightly. “It’s been quite difficult for my parents, as you might imagine, for many reasons.”
I immediately thought of what Miranda had told me about how Edward’s mother, Margaret, had chosen to move in with her daughter rather than stay in Carlton Heath with Miranda once Sir James’s secret had been revealed. I hoped Peter’s family would stay right where they were.
“That is part of the reason why I wanted to share this with all of you today. You are our closest friends. I’m hoping you will have the right words of comfort for them.”
Katharine was the first to lean in and offer her calming words.
Peter stepped over to me and said, “May I speak with you in the hallway?” He nearly tripped over a wrapped gift under the tree. When he looked down, he saw that it was the gift I’d handed to Molly at the door.
Peter reached down and picked it up and for some reason carried it with him to the entryway.
He motioned that we could sit on the stairs. We sat next to each other on the second stair, neither of us speaking for a moment.
In just the last three minutes my mind had been filling up with hope-infused wishes the way a great balloon fills with air before it’s ready to be released into the heavens. If everything had been made right for Peter during the night, he must have reevaluated his conclusions about us.
I wanted to hear what he had to say but he was locked in on the gift.
“When did you get this for Molly?”
“I didn’t get it for her, exactly.”
“What do you mean? Isn’t this from you?”
“Yes, but, well, you’ll see when you open it.”
“Do you want me to open it?”
“It’s up to you. If you want, I can rewrap it so that Molly can have the fun of unwrapping it.”
Peter didn’t hesitate. He pulled back the paper and held the book and stared at the cover. For a moment he didn’t move. He turned to me slowly with tears in his eyes. “Did you do this?”
I nodded.
“When? When did you do this?”
I told him the whole story behind the book as he turned the pages and absorbed each image. He had just turned to the last page when Julia and Molly came scurrying down the stairs.
“Molly, come here,” Peter said. “Have a look at this book that Anna has made for you.”
Julia stopped on the fifth stair and took Molly’s hand. “Did you hear that? Anna made a coloring book for you, too?”
“This one has the pictures already colored,” Peter said. “Come, Molly. I want to show you your new book.”
I got up so that Molly could situate herself next to Peter. Julia sat a step higher and looked over Peter’s shoulders.
“She has red shoes!” Molly excitedly pointed to the lamb on the cover.
My folded hands rose as I watched the tender scene unfolding on the grand staircase. I pressed my thumbs against my lips and I tried to keep my delight from leaking out. Julia and Molly sat perfectly still, quietly captivated as Peter read the storybook to them.
Miranda had left the drawing room. She slipped over closer and stood beside me. “They love it,” she whispered. “Look at Molly’s face.”
Peter got to the last page and Molly said, “Read it again.”
He looked up at me with glistening eyes and gave me a smile that expressed all the thanks I needed.
Miranda squeezed my elbow and whispered, “Ellie thinks it would be good if we could put out all the food in the dining room now. It’s a little tense in the drawing room.”
“I’ll come and help.” As soon as we were in the kitchen, Miranda stopped me and said, “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“What did he say to you?”
“He asked when I wrote the book and I told him. Then he read it to the children. He likes it. I know he likes it.”
“No, I mean what did he say about you coming back in the spring? You hinted at something last night at Rose Cottage. I got the feeling that the tense conversation you had with Peter was about your coming back.”
“He told me about Molly last night. He said it wouldn’t be fair to invite someone like me into his life.”
“What did you tell him?”
“I told him that grace isn’t fair. Neither is love.”
Miranda wrapped her arms around me and gave me a warm, sisterly hug. “I want you to move here, Anna. I want you to live here always.”
“Me, too,” I whispered, fully aware of what it would mean if such a wish came true.
Miranda pulled back and looked at me. She was beaming. “I’m not the only one who feels that way…” She patted her middle and then stopped as the kitchen door swung open.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Ellie whooshed into the kitchen. As soon as she saw the two of us, she came close and said with a wide-eyed expression, “Was that not a big surprise! I think Peter is going to see lots of good come from his decision to let the truth be known. Lots of good. Especially for Molly. They said they told her this morning. They’re not sure she understood but it was important to Peter that he told her. It’s the best Christmas gift I can think of for anyone.”
Miranda quickly added, “I agree. Every little girl should know who her daddy is.”
Ellie’s hand went to her mouth. “That’s right! Oh, my. We do have a tradition of going for the big reveals around here on Christmas Day, don’t we?”
When Ellie said “big reveals,” Miranda subtly tapped me with her elbow. I tried to curtail my grin, knowing that when we all sat down to eat the small feast in the dining room, Ellie would be over the moon about the next announcement.
Julia bounced into the kitchen. “Mummy, we need the Christmas crackers. They aren’t on the table in the dining room.”
“Oh! Right. Where did I leave those?” Ellie clapped her hands together. “They are in a box beside the desk in the study. I left them there the day we were doing the program for the play. Julia, will you go get them and put one around at each place?”
Julia was about to go about her glad task when she stopped and put her arms around my middle. She gave me a hug and said, “I love my Princess Julia coloring book. But if you ever want to make a real book about me some day, I should like it to be about a pony named Julia with long, long hair and big blue eyes like yours.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Ellie had already gone into high gear getting everything else we needed pulled together and carried into the dining room. I couldn’t stop smiling as I helped get the serving dishes delivered to the dining room where the table was set beautifully with Christmas china. Julia was skipping around the table giving every plate at least one Christmas cracker. Most of them got two.
My thoughts were filling up with all kinds of ideas for more books to write, more scenes to sketch, more ways to expand my artistic endeavors. It made m
e so happy to think about bringing joy to others by doing something that I loved. I wanted to start dreaming about Peter again but as I’d already told Miranda, he hadn’t said anything to me. As far as I knew, he could feel like he’d been set free from the secret he and his parents had been hiding, but that didn’t necessarily mean he had changed his mind about me.
Prudence told me to be patient and wait.
And as my Christmas gift to her, I calmly told her that I would. I would wait as long as it took, because a prince like Peter didn’t come riding up on a wagon-style bicycle every day.
The group made their way to the dining room and found their place around the table. I was seated next to Ian. Molly sat across from me. Peter was beside her and Miranda was on his other side.
Edward stood and offered a beautiful prayer that rolled off his tongue with the same sort of vibrato that I imagined had been in his father’s voice. It sounded as if a great orator was pronouncing a blessing upon each soul that gathered at that table on Christmas Day. He ended with a rich, “Amen.”
Mark tried out an attempt to follow in his grandfather’s theatrical footsteps and loudly announced, “God bless us, everyone.”
All the guests around the table spontaneously echoed, “God bless us, everyone.”
I noticed Peter had to assist Molly with getting the food onto her plate. He occasionally glanced across the table to see if I was put off by the process that had to be part of her every meal. None of it bothered me. If Peter understood the extent to which I cared for my Opa all these years, he would know that very little affected me when it came to such things.
Peter seemed to relax after a few moments. He tossed out a joke that made everyone laugh. As I watched, it seemed the metamorphosis was happening. The man he’d tried so hard to hide was merging with the man he truly was. Grace and peace were making friends within him. It was beautiful to see.
I tried to tell myself that no matter what happened next with Peter, this transformation was worth all the precarious moments he and I had experienced this past week. The Father of Christmas had presented Peter with a rare and valuable gift today. I took joy in knowing that.
Miranda motioned to me from across the table, asking if I would change places with her. I knew she wanted to be sitting next to Ian when they made their big announcement about the baby, so I switched with her as inconspicuously as possible.
Being next to Peter made my heart flutter again. I tried to hold my emotions in check. The next few moments were going to be about Miranda and Ian. All attention should be on them.
Ian tapped the side of his goblet with his knife. The clinking sound got everyone’s attention. “Happy Christmas, one and all. I would like to propose a toast.”
Julia interrupted. “Please don’t start with the adult talking and all the toasting yet. We haven’t done our Christmas crackers.”
“Yes,” Ellie agreed. “By all means. We must maintain a few traditions. Christmas crackers first, then the toasts.”
“Crackers and toast,” I whispered to Peter. “I thought we already had our meal.”
He gave me a funny look, not understanding my pathetic joke.
“Crackers? Toast? Get it? All we need is a little more cheese.” I grinned broadly and realized I was doing this because I was nervous. I was telling myself that all was well no matter what. But that wasn’t true.
I’d experienced a metamorphosis this week as well. The fairy-tale girl in me had looked into the face of Christmas Yet to Be and knew that no matter how difficult it would be to enter a relationship that automatically came with a little lamb in red shoes, there was nothing else in the world I wanted more this Christmas.
My cheesy grin was still fixed on my face as I stared at Peter, lost in thoughts of my Christmas wish. He seemed to finally get my pun and said, “How about if we leave the dinner show entertainment in the hands of those who know how to work the crowd.”
At that moment, it looked like Peter was going to have a little competition “working the crowd,” because Mark had pulled the two ends of his Christmas cracker, creating a loud snap followed by the scent of a match being lit. Out of the cardboard tube came a folded-up paper crown and a whistle. Mark promptly placed the crown on his head and began a series of short tweets with his whistle.
Everyone was popping their Christmas cracker, so I pulled mine and found that I also had a paper crown and a matching whistle. I held up the whistle to show Mark and then gave mine a swift tweet.
“You must put the crown on your head,” Julia said. “Like this. Look at us! We’re princesses.”
The pandemonium around the table lasted only a few moments with snaps and pops and silly paper crowns going on and staying on everyone around the table. It surprised me how playful this reserved group had become. I wondered how Miranda and Ian would be able to make their announcement with any amount of seriousness.
“Did you mean what you said last night?” Peter’s voice was in my ear and I could feel the warmth of his breath moving down my neck.
“I said a lot of things last night.”
“You said that Molly didn’t need to be the only woman in my life that I cared about. You said it wasn’t fair for me to not even ask you if you wanted in.”
I nodded and caught my breath. Turning and whispering back in his ear, I said, “Nothing about your life frightens me, Peter. All you have to do is ask.”
Molly pounded the table. She had torn her crown. Uncle Andrew gladly handed over one of his.
“You haven’t done yours yet,” Julia said to Peter. “You need a crown, too.”
He pulled both ends with a crack and out came an oddly shaped paper.
“It’s a beard,” Julia cried. “Put it on. You got the Father Christmas beard! Hooray! Look, Molly! He’s Father Christmas.”
Peter complied and Molly, more than anyone else, thought his paper beard was hilarious. He turned in his chair to face me and moved his jaw up and down so that the paper beard was expressing its full silliness.
“Princess Anna,” he said calmly, sincerely. “I’m asking.”
I playfully adjusted my paper crown, not catching his full meaning at first. Then his carefully chosen words began to settle on me.
He repeated them. “I’m asking if you’d be willing to come back and see if we can find a way to make sure that Molly isn’t the only most important woman in my life.”
Our faces were only inches away.
“Yes,” I whispered. “I’m willing.”
He leaned closer and this time I knew he was going to kiss me. Not give me an expression of hello, good-bye. This was going to be a real kiss.
I didn’t turn my head. But I did close my eyes.
Peter kissed me, paper beard and all.
“Anna! What are you doing?” Julia’s squeaky voice brought me back to the moment and caught everyone else’s attention.
Molly started laughing. “She’s kissing Father Christmas!”
The room had gone quite still. I felt as if my face must be as red as a holly berry.
Peter reached for my hand under the table and held it tightly as if he intended to never let go.
Ian seized the moment to redirect everyone’s attention.
“On that happy note, I would like to offer a toast.” He pushed back his chair and stood up, raising his glass. He looked and sounded an awful lot like his father in that moment. “I would like to offer a toast to my darlin’ woman, Princess Miranda.”
Everyone raised their glass and smiled. Ian put up his other hand. “No. Wait. I’m not finished yet.” He glanced at his dad and then back at his wife. His eyes were glistening. “To Miranda and to our wee babe that she now carries within her.”
It took a whisper of a second before Ian’s words were fully comprehended.
The Scottish Highlands roar that bellowed from Uncle Andrew’s chest was enough to have everyone on their feet, rushing to congratulate Ian and Miranda. The joy in that room brought tears to everyone’s eyes. Uncle
Andrew couldn’t stop laughing and spouting something about the rise of “Clan MacGregor.” It was a glorious moment.
Miranda was radiant and I was so happy for her.
Peter squeezed my hand under the table. I squeezed his hand back.
“Thank you,” Peter said, leaning close.
“For what?”
“You’re the only person who ever asked me if I was willing to show myself grace.”
“How does it feel?”
He bobbed his head as if the sense of newfound peace and hope was agreeable to him. I could see a grin breaking through the paper beard. “I’d say it feels almost as good as this.”
Peter leaned in. He dramatically pulled off the Father Christmas beard and kissed me again with all the tenderness of a man who had just realized that there is nothing fair about grace or about love. As soon as your soul feels its worth, all you can do is receive grace and love as a gift. A very good gift.
This time when I opened my eyes, I knew without a doubt where I would be spending my Christmases yet to be.
I would be right here, at this table, with these people, feeling like a fairy princess in my silly paper crown and kissing Father Christmas.
Reading Group Guide
What fairy tales were mentioned in Kissing Father Christmas? In what ways did each one connect to Anna’s outlook on life?
In what ways did Anna’s mother encourage Anna’s love of art? In what ways did she discourage Anna from pursuing that love? How did your parents encourage or discourage your interests as a child?
If you were to visit London at Christmastime, what would be on your wish list of things to do and see? What sites that Anna experienced did you enjoy most?
Are you drawn to people like Ellie who seem to have the energy of three women bundled into one with a quirky personality to go with all that enthusiasm? Why or why not?
What happened in the relationship between Anna and Peter when they danced at the wedding? In what ways did dancing together make it easier for them to have a relationship? In what ways did it make it more difficult?