‘Hallo, Mum?’
I don't understand what she is saying; she is speaking in Russian, but she is talking so fast that it is difficult to follow. I tell her to calm down. She starts shouting that I have to come back to London as soon as possible. At the end of conversation, she says that our house was broken into.
‘What happened?’ asks Amy.
‘Someone broke into our house. I have to go to London,’ I say with disbelief, not certain what actually happened. ‘I will let you know as soon as I know more.’
‘Oh my God. Do you want me to go with you?’
‘No, stay here; I will be back tomorrow,’ I say. ‘I hope they haven't taken much.’
‘Call me when you know more,’ she says, disappearing into her room.
I take a quick shower and I pack the necessary clothes. I am hoping that I won’t have to stay in London more than a day or two; the new semester starts shortly. I am not sure what happened exactly, but I hope that Mum was exaggerating when she was talking to me on the phone. I get in my car and I drive as quickly as I can. After a few hours, I reach rainy London again and when I check my phone, I have three missed calls from Mum. I notice a police car outside the house and my stomach crumbles. Mum opens the door; she looks worried but she hugs me straightaway.
‘What happened?’ I ask and walk into the house, feeling uncertain what I am going to see.
‘Someone broke in while I was in work. They didn’t take anything, but the house has been turned upside down,’ she explains.
12
She is right. The house looks as if it has been torn apart; everything is either broken or smashed.
‘The police are still looking.’
‘Are you sure they didn't take anything?’ I ask.
‘Yes, as far as I can see nothing is missing. I’m afraid your room is in a terrible state,’ says Mum quietly. I notice a police officer walking towards us; I leave him with Mum and go upstairs to check my room to see if the burglar took anything. What was the purpose of this whole break-in? I freeze for a moment when I see the state of my room; everything is upside down. The books are thrown everywhere, my clothes, magazines and makeup. My furniture is in pieces and my paperwork has been scattered. I walk to my small drawer by the bed.
Before I left, I had made sure I locked it; it contains a lot of pictures from Russia, my medical records, a few bills and letters from family. All of that is gone. I wrote a date of every meeting with Gabriel in a small calendar, but I haven’t mentioned any names in there, only dates and a few descriptions. I don't understand any of that, it looks like someone was looking for something specific and obviously, all my personal stuff is gone. I walk into my Mother’s bedroom. Her room is in mess, but it isn’t as bad as my room. The drawers are empty. Her lingerie is lying on the floor. I can't believe what I am seeing. When I walk downstairs, the policeman is leaving.
‘What did he say?’ I ask.
She is quiet; it takes her a while before she answers.
‘They will investigate what's happened.’
‘Has anything been stolen from your bedroom?’
‘No,’ she says, but she doesn't look at me as she speaks. She’s staring at the sofa opposite. I don't really know why she is so calm.
‘All my pictures from Russia are gone, so are my letters and everything else in the drawer,’ I explain. She doesn't respond. I presume she’s in shock so I don’t say anything else.
The bell rings and I go to see who is at the door. It’s Dmitry; he looks concerned and asks if I am OK as he walks towards Mum to hug her. I walk back upstairs to try to understand why anyone would be interested in my personal belongings. I start to clean up the mess, mainly the bed, as I have to sleep somewhere tonight.
‘Leave it. I am taking you both to my house tonight,’ says Dmitry.
It’s strange to have some other man in my room apart from Gabriel.
Dmitry looks genuinely worried. ‘I’ll call the cleaners tomorrow to help you with this. Do you know what was taken?’
‘Memories from Russia and pictures,’ I answer.
‘Hmm. That's odd that someone would want to break in to take some letters,’ he states, staring at me.
‘I know.’
I think he feels slightly awkward being in my room because he clears his throat and tells me to meet him downstairs when I am finished. I leave my precious stuff, but I pick up the rest of the photos that are lying on the floor. Memories from my childhood are slowly coming back to me. I get this hunch that someone was desperately trying to find my deepest secrets.
I can hardly sleep that night in Dmitry's house. I toss and turn; hoping to see Gabriel, but he doesn't show up. In the back of my mind, I know that he can feel my grief but still, he chose to ignore it. My life doesn't seem to get any better.
The next morning Dmitry makes a few phone calls and the army of cleaners rush to our house. Mum is impressed with his efficiency and I am glad that we don't have to take care of this mess. It is a two-bedroom house in a quite decent area of London. We are all asking ourselves the same question; why would anyone break in if they don't want to take anything?
In the afternoon we walk to the police station to find out if they have any more information, but they still haven't got any more than yesterday. It takes us all day to get the house in the same condition as it was before. Dmitry hired five cleaners and at the end of the day, we are able to sit down in the clean kitchen to have a cup of tea. Mum insists on paying him, but he refuses to take any money from her.
The events of the last twenty-four hours alert me that I have to be more careful. All my personal items that weren't stolen are in the drawer downstairs, and I make a decision to take it with me back to Swansea, I don't want to leave Mum alone but I have to go back to Wales as the new term is starting tomorrow. The next morning I wake up around five in the morning and leave the house feeling exhausted. I think about my tarot reading with Herne and remember that she said that I would be travelling and that I would lose something that I value the most. My calendar where I noted all my short meetings with Gabriel has been stolen. Without mentioning any names, I am sure that it wouldn't be useful, but I believe that someone knew about those dates.
As I drive back to Swansea, I feel deflated. The exams are over, and I have to throw myself into the new term and start thinking about the University newspaper. I must participate in the academic paper to gain the experience that I need; times are tough and in order to find a job that I want it isn't enough to have a degree. I check my timetable for this semester, noticing that I have a Civil War module with French.
Gabriel is waiting for me as usual when walk to the next class. I wonder if he knows what’s happened, or if he was even aware that I was away, but his expression is unreadable. My stomach churns slightly as he looks at me; I know sooner or later I will have to tell him what’s happened in London. I miss him so much but I know its better this way. The campus feels too busy; everyone is rushing to get to the right classes on time. I pretend that I don’t see any of the Sprites walking around the campus. The library is packed, so I forget the idea of going to get a few books that I need for French. I meet Amy for lunch and tell her everything that happened in London, but we don't have much privacy as her other friends join us. I call Mum after classes; she is at work but she says that everything is all right.
The days are passing by, and I am slowly getting used to my new timetable and my new routine. Gabriel keeps away from my room but he follows me everywhere like a shadow. I know that sooner or later he will show up in my room and I will want to know why he was away for so long. Rose is still around, gazing at Gabriel when he is close. She is usually with the company of a few other Sprites. For some reason, I feel that Gabriel keeps his distance from her when he is around me. Probably he is attempting to show me that he does care about my feelings.
Surprisingly, Richard arrives back on scene; he is back with Amy after weeks of absence. When I arrive home one day, he is in the living roo
m cuddling with her. Amy looks embarrassed when she sees me but I don't say anything. I just pass them by and lock myself in my room. I avoid him as much as I can. I don't question Amy on why they are dating again and recently, she has been avoiding me as well; I presume that it’s because she doesn’t want to talk about taking Richard back. After weeks of not seeing Gabriel, I can no longer take being apart from him; he is close to me but so far away at the same time.
The winter still doesn’t want to let the spring through. I wake up in the middle of the night in cold harsh February, feeling thirsty. The room is chilly and I don't want to get up, but I have to get to the kitchen to get a drink. My throat is dry. I look at my phone and I realise that it is half past 3 in the morning; it’s the time when Gabriel used to visit me. I hear a movement in the corner of the room and I freeze. After a few seconds, I realise that the only person that I can expect is the man I love.
‘Ania,’ he whispers and my heart reacts instantly.
Gabriel appears, standing in front of me and when my eyes get used to the darkness, I gasp locking my eyes on his posture.
‘What are you doing here?’ I ask with a shaky voice.
‘I needed to talk to you.’
I recognise his firm tone and his tall posture. I gaze at his body, remembering his touch. I switch on the small lamp on the side drawer. My heart is pounding and electric current travel through my body. I don't know what to say, I have so many questions, but I don't know where to start. My anger fades away and I have to make this work and rein in my emotions.
‘Sit down,’ I whisper.
I am afraid that he will disappear again. He comes closer to me and crouches by me on the bed. My throat is dry and my body tenses. I dare to lift my eyes and look at him; he doesn’t say anything for a long time, but his blue eyes are full of lust again. I blush, wondering if he is feeling that familiar wave of electricity between us. After a few minutes, he lifts his stunning eyes and looks deeply into mine.
‘I want to share the nights with you and make an effort to get to know you. I can’t be apart from you any longer,’ he says, touching my cheek and I shiver, remembering his gentle, warm touch.
I open my mouth, but I am speechless. It takes me a while to adjust to what he’s just said; I don't believe that it’s really happening. My heart is beating so fast and I can sense that his breathing is harder than usual. The man I desire and nearly gave up on has just told me that he wants to be with me even if it doesn't make sense. I am angry – I want to tell him how much he hurt me by leaving me alone for all these weeks without any explanation. I wish that he could experience the pain in my heart. I want to tell him to leave, to humiliate him the same way as he humiliated me but my heart screams to me.
‘I can’t live without you, I have tried,’ I whisper, unable to move.
He is staring at me with his blue eyes and his hands slip into my hair.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says and drops his eyes.
I inhale his familiar scent, using all my senses to enjoy this moment. I planned this in my mind so differently. I wrap myself into his firm body and I can smell the rain in his tangled hair. In this moment, I am happy.
‘Gabriel, let's not talk about it anymore.’
‘I will try to make you happy,’ he begins. ‘I will be with you in the night.’
He reassures me that he wants to try to make this work. Maybe he has put aside his pride and followed his heart to make me happy. I am forbidden to him and I can't love him but I choose to be with him.
‘Please don't. I know you keep saying that we don't have any future but what would happen if you told others about me?’ I say.
I can feel his body tense instantly, but he doesn't respond. His eyes are strange. He is afraid.
‘I would have to die.’
‘Death for talking to me, for seeing me?’ I begin to question him again. ‘This is not human.’
‘We are not humans. The one that I am supposed to love is already chosen for me even if my soul belongs to someone else,’ he answers in a husky tone.
‘Gabriel, someone broke to my house in London. My mother's papers have been stolen, I had written dates of when I had met you but no names,’ I explain. ‘And remember that party where Amy was attacked? I met the French student that she was with and he told me that he saw someone in the garden that night.’
He arches his eyebrows slightly, staring at the window; I can never guess what’s going through his mind.
‘No one knows that you have this ability. It might be just coincidence,’ he says, looking at me.
‘You think this is all a coincidence? Why would anyone take my diary, then?’
‘Maybe you are right. When I was away I travelled to different countries to search for anyone else who had a similar gift to yours, but it was a waste of time; you are the only one,' he says.
I want to know more, but I don't have a chance to say anything as he leans over and kisses me gently.
‘And you are with me,’ he whispers, nibbling my ear. I groan with pleasure ‘I am strong and good looking so no one will dare to hurt you.’
I giggle and push him playfully. My muscles clench when he wraps his body around mine. Maybe he is right, I shouldn't worry about the past; life is full of surprises and I have to learn to relax. I have been through a lot lately. That night we make love again more possessively, surrounded by the air filled with obsession and lust. I try to lock in my memory how much I love this creature; all the hours apart were worth it to feel him on top of me again. I breathe in the scent of his body. He smells like rain and a forest. I never want to let him go again.
Over the next few days, I put aside all my worries and feel reborn again. I am happy that I have him close to me. The trips to University aren't discouraging any more. My mother calls a few times in a week to talk to me, but she seems to be always busy with Dmitry. Slowly, I get used to the fact that she is having a new life and I am not as much a part of it anymore.
I have the most intense few weeks of my life with Gabriel being around me all the time. The nights are exciting. He is my lover and guardian. Slowly, he becomes part of me, sharing his soul, mind and spirit. I know that this won't last forever but for now, he makes me happy. I have seen him with Rose, and he tries to avoid her when I am around, but something is wrong because she looks unhappy and deep down, I know it's because of me. I walk through campus in the afternoon, and they are behind me. I can't hear what they are saying. When I get to the house, she leaves, staring at me for a while.
In the evening, I fall asleep early; I have not been able to concentrate after the intense hours with Gabriel. Close to 4 in the morning, I can feel him in my room. I wake up, subconsciously knowing that he will be with me when everyone else is asleep. I want to ask him about Rose, but I can't bring myself to say her name.
‘I am happy when I am with you; it's not the same when I am with her,’ he says unexpectedly, lying next to me ‘I want to experience these new emotions.’
‘She is a woman after all. She knows that something is not right.’
‘I am handsome and come from a good bloodline. I wouldn't be surprised if she does have feelings for me. Our families were connected for years.’
‘Are you always so sure of yourself?’ I ask, amused.
He moves my hair behind my ear.
‘My Mother always says that I need to be more humble.’
‘Your mother is right.’
‘I can't give you what other humans can,’ he adds, staring at me, breathing through me.
‘I don't want anything else; I just want you to be with me.’ I answer, but I know he is right.
Deep down, I know that soon I will want more; we hold each other for a long while without saying anything. I wonder whether he will ever admit that he has any kind of feelings for me, Life without Gabriel wouldn't make sense. If I had never met him, I would probably end up married with kids and moving back to London.
‘Gabriel?’
‘Yes?’
br /> ‘Can a Sprite become a human? Is there any way?’ I bite my lip and wait for an answer. I don't dare to look at him, but I feel his body stiffen slightly.
‘I don't know,’ he begins slowly. ‘This is the deepest desire of our kind.’
‘Has anyone ever become a human?’
‘I have heard the legends that only changelings have an ability to touch us,’ he explains.
‘Changelings?’ I ask, ‘You were right I have read about them.’
‘I told you so,’ he chuckles. ‘People weren’t stupid; the mothers always knew if the child wasn’t theirs.’
‘I just don’t understand why you were doing this. Taking away the child and then replace it with another one.’
‘A few hundred years ago, Sprites swapped their children for human children and raised them as their own so other valuable gifts would be developed. When a fairy has been raised in a human world, she stops being a fairy and the other way around with human children,' he says, caressing my cheek.
‘Why would a fairy mother want to swap children with humans?’ I ask, confused ‘I would never abandon my own child.’
‘Well, a human raised as a Sprite is stronger and can develop abilities that any other ordinary Sprite can't.’ His voice is anxious. ‘And similarly, Sprites raised by humans can develop certain abilities, despite not being around our kind.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Some people have certain medium abilities; you also call them fortune-tellers, and all those people's ancestors were previously changelings - Sprites raised in a human world. It's not a surprise that they can read minds or connect with lost souls.’ His eyes narrow and he looks at me like he doesn't want to finish. ‘The very last changeling is supposed to have an ability to make a Sprite an immortal human.’
‘OK, so what's the story behind this?’
‘Imagine that you become an immortal human; you can finally give up the Sprite life and do what you want and live forever,’ he says and I am trying to understand what he means.
‘So who is the last changeling?’