I hadn’t known what to do. There were so many arrangements to make, people to call, but I had been unable to do any of that. Thankfully, Keith was there. He took over, and everything was taken care of, all the right people were called. And I had sat back, helpless to do even the smallest thing.
The funeral had been earlier that day. I’d let Keith guide me through it all, stuck on autopilot. My father, Bianca, all my other friends and family had arrived to say goodbye to my mother and stepfather, but without Keith, I don’t think I could have done any of it.
And now, as some of the cold shock began to wear off and it was just the three of us once more, I wanted to offer him the same comfort he had so readily offered me.
But I knew it would just be a waste of my energy. Keith hated for me to touch him. Hated for me to show him how much I cared. Over the past two years, my feelings for my stepbrother had only grown stronger, turning from raging lust to gut-wrenching love. But he’d made it clear on more than one occasion that he didn’t want me.
“How about some dinner?” Hunter murmured beside me. “When was the last time we ate?”
I gave him a sad, shaky smile. “I can’t remember. But I’m not hungry. You go, though.”
He got to his feet. “Keith?” But his brother shook his dark head. Quietly, Hunter left the room.
Unable to just sit there but knowing I was facing rejection, I went to him anyway. Fingers trembling, I touched Keith’s arm. He stiffened but thankfully didn’t pull away. I watched his face as he closed his eyes for a brief moment. There was strain around his eyes, tension in his jaw.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his chest, relieved that I wasn’t being pushed away. Within seconds, he pulled me closer, and I held on tighter. “Are you okay?” I whispered a little brokenly.
I felt his lips in my hair, making me shiver. “Getting there.” His voice was hoarse with emotion.
Under my ear, his heart was racing, and I snuggled closer, breathing in the smell I’d learned belonged to him alone. “Thank you for helping so much this week.” I tipped my head back enough to see his handsome face. “Thank you for being the strong one when I needed you to be.”
His smile was small but genuine. “Thanks for the hug when I needed it the most.” He dropped a kiss on my forehead, and I closed my eyes, enjoying his lips on my skin. “Kari…”
There was something in his voice, something powerful and full of danger, that made me open my eyes. His emerald eyes were blazing with need down at me. I wanted him so much, but I knew if I gave in to our needs now, when we were both so vulnerable, he would only hate me when he was himself again. Yet I was weak and hurting and loved him so damn much…
The buzzing of his cell phone from his pants pocket drew us apart. With a muttered curse, he pulled it out and glared down at the number before answering. “This is Keith,” he barked into the cell phone.
I watched as his eyes darkened yet again and heard the difference in his voice the next time he spoke. “Eliza… Busy, no.” He stepped farther away from me without another look and left the room without a backward glance.
Tears filled my eyes. Eliza. There were rumors that he had been dating the Austrian model, and now, with her, one of the hottest new models, on the phone and no doubt wanting to see him, I was pushed to the back of his mind. I was out of sight and out of mind. Our moment gone before it had even begun.
The feeling of rejection made my chest hurt. This new pain on top of the pain I had been feeling at the loss of two of the most precious people in my life was nearly my undoing, and I rushed upstairs. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. Sobs escaped me as I dropped down onto my bed and pulled my favorite pillow close, burying my face deep to muffle my sobs.
I must have cried myself to sleep because the next time I opened my eyes, it was pitch dark outside. My cell phone was ringing, and I stretched out to grab it off my nightstand. Bianca, I thought, as I put it to my ear. I needed my best friend. “Hey,” I muttered, lying back once more and covering my eyes with my arm.
“How are you?” Bianca asked gently.
Fresh tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them away. “Crappy,” I told her honestly. “Can you come get me?” My car was at my father’s house where I normally left it because I didn’t need it when I was in the city. I hadn’t planned to return to the apartment I shared with Bianca for a few more days, thinking that my stepbrothers needed me. But Keith sure as hell didn’t need me with the lovely Eliza to console him, and Hunter… Well, Hunter would understand.
“I don’t have my car. I’m at Christian’s. But we’ll be there as soon as we can,” she promised me. “And then I’ll take you home and feed you all kinds of sinful things.”
Despite my pain and despair, I couldn’t help but smile. “I’m so glad I have you as my bestie, Bee.”
“It goes both ways, Kari,” she assured me. “Be there soon.”
three
“Happy Birthday, my lovely girl!”
I grinned over at my father. We were sitting at a small table for two in one of my favorite restaurants in Manhattan, having lunch. Since my mother’s death in the fall, I hadn’t gotten out much, but I always made time for my father. He had been away more often than not in recent months, so I was even more thrilled to get to spend the afternoon with him.
All day, he had been getting heated looks from nearly every woman who saw him. It annoyed the hell out of me that most of the female population thought my father was hot. But I couldn’t really blame them. With his short, light blond hair, his big, chocolate-brown eyes, and the physique of a body builder, he was most women’s dream man. A few months ago, he had even been on the cover of GQ as one of the top ten sexiest businessmen over the age of forty.
We had just finished some grilled tilapia, one of my favorite dishes, and as soon as the waiter cleared our empty plates, my father set a small gift box before me. I knew it was jewelry from one of my favorite shops, simply from the shape of the box. With enthusiasm, I shredded the wrapping and carefully lifted the lid to find a dazzling bracelet sparkling up at me.
“It’s beautiful, Daddy!” I exclaimed, throwing my arms around his neck. “Thank you!” I kissed his cheek, and he laughed.
“You can wear it tonight when Bianca takes you clubbing,” he told me, taking a sip of his wine.
I shook my head at him. “So that’s what she has planned.” I hadn’t been sure, but if my father knew about it, then I was pretty sure that was what was going to happen. I grimaced, knowing my best friend planned on getting me stone-cold drunk for my big twenty-first birthday.
“Shh. I wasn’t supposed to tell you.” He winked at me. “Actually, Hunter has reserved the VIP floor of Club 101. From what Bianca hinted to me when I spoke to her recently, you have a big bang of a celebration ahead of you, love.”
“Can you tell her I fell and broke something?” I was only half joking. I didn’t want to go clubbing, and especially not with a large group of friends. All I’d really wanted was a quiet night to myself gorging on mint chocolate chip ice cream with lots of extra toppings.
Baxter Brandon gave me a sympathetic smile and downed the last of his wine. “Sorry, but I promised Bee you would be in one piece for tonight.”
“Oh, Daddy!”
“Don’t blame me,” he laughed, holding up his hands in mock surrender.
“Fine.” I pouted prettily. “I guess I still love you.”
I enjoyed the rest of the afternoon with my favorite man in the world before reluctantly going back to my apartment. I wouldn’t get to see my father again for at least another month because he had more business to take care of in the Middle East, so I basked in what little time we had together.
Bianca was already in the shower when I go home, so I locked myself in my room. Unfortunately, my bestie had already raided my closet and selected the dress she thought I should wear later. I groaned when I realized it was the little scrap of silk she’d bought me for Christmas.
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Passion red with shoestring straps, the thing was only long enough to cover my ass…barely. Not surprisingly, Bianca had also tossed a pair of red bikini briefs on the bed. And of course, there was no matching bra because the dress didn’t allow for one.
Sighing, I tossed the items aside and stripped. I showered and took my time washing my hair. When I finished, I got out and frowned at my steamed pink face in my vanity mirror over the sink. I’d aged considerably since my last birthday, mostly due to the death of my mother and stepfather five months before.
And perhaps a little because I had almost completely cut Keith Winthrop out of my life.
My chest hurt at the thought of him, and I turned away from my reflection to run a bubble bath. I dried my fingers long enough to turn on my playlist on my phone and sank into the gloriously hot bubbles. With a contented sigh, I closed my eyes and tried not to think about my sexy stepbrother and all the pain he’d put me through in the past few months.
Over Christmas, I had spent a few days on the Winthrop estate with Hunter. It was our first Christmas without our parents, and we’d needed to be together to celebrate for them if for no other reason. Of course, Keith had been there too, and he hadn’t been alone.
The oh so beautiful Eliza had been there. She had been all over him, touching him, kissing him, and smirking at me the entire time. As if she had known just how badly watching them together was hurting me. As if she thought my pain was funny.
I clenched my fists under the sweet-smelling bubbles and pushed all thoughts of that woman from my mind.
“You awake in there?”
“Go away!” I shouted at Bianca through the door. “I’m drowning myself. Might I do that in peace, or would you like to plan what I’ll be wearing wear to my funeral?”
“Hey, I just want to make tonight special!” Bianca called back, not sounding the least bit offended or sorry.
I blew out a frustrated sigh, knowing I was being unfair to my bestie. It wasn’t her fault I couldn’t get Keith out of my head. “Whatever. I’ll be out in a little while.”
I took my time getting ready, being extra careful with my makeup and spending a little extra time with the styling tools on my long, blond hair. My legs were silky smooth after my trip to the spa over the past weekend, and I skipped thigh-highs as I slipped on my red briefs and then stepped into my ultra-expensive designer heels. If there was one weakness I would ever admit to having, it was shoes. After slipping into the barely-there dress, I stepped back to glare at myself in my floor-length mirror.
I looked hot. My gold eyes were huge, my smile secretive. My breasts weren’t overly large, and a bra wasn’t necessary to keep them under control, which was a good thing because this dress didn’t allow for one. The dress ended an inch below my ass, and I shook my head at how sexy I looked and felt right then.
As I left my room, I grabbed a matching red clutch and the bracelet my father had given me at lunch earlier. As I was snapping it on, my cell buzzed, and I paused long enough to peek at the caller ID. It was Hunter, but I was upset with him for reserving the VIP of the club and conspiring with Bianca when he knew good and well I hated clubbing. I let it go to voice mail without a second thought.
Anything he had to tell me could wait until I got to the club.
***
We took a cab to the club. In New York City, it was just easier to take cabs everywhere rather than attempt to find a place to park. My car was usually parked at my father’s house, and I rarely drove it.
There was a line outside of Club 101 that went all the way down the sidewalk and wrapped around the building. Bianca went straight up to the bouncer who was holding a clipboard that had a short guest list on it and smiled her most seductive smile. “Hello, Marcus.”
The big man gave her a welcoming smile. “Bianca.” He stepped back and released the rope so she could enter the club. When he saw me behind her, his eyes lit up. “Whoa! Hot!” He whistled, and I couldn’t help but giggle as heat and pleasure filled my cheeks.
“Thank you, Marcus.”
“Happy Birthday, Kari!” he called after us as we entered the dimly lit building.
I waved at him over my shoulder, still enjoying the looks he was giving me. “Thanks!”
As soon as we entered the club, Bianca turned to me, a serious look on her beautiful face. “I want you to promise me something.” She was taking off her wrap and handing it over to the girl behind the desk. It was the middle of May, but there was a storm in the air, making it chilly out.
I lifted a perfectly shaped blond brow at her, unsure if I should be worried or not. “What?”
“I want you to just let go tonight. No heavy thinking.”
That’s what I did, I overthought everything. Even when I was getting into trouble back in boarding school, I was always overthinking things. It was how I kept Bianca and me alive when we were being stupid. But it was my birthday, and I could see from the look in my bestie’s eyes that she was really excited for me. And I… Well, I hadn’t been all that appreciative.
“Okay, Bee.” I gave in gracefully.
She clapped her hands and squealed with delight like a little girl. I got a quick, tight hug before she grabbed my hand and pulled me through the club. The VIP section was all the way in the back and then up a set of roped-off stairs to the second floor. But halfway to the stairs, Bianca turned to me again, looking hesitant.
“What now?” I demanded.
She bit her bottom lip. “Well…”
“Bianca! What is it?” She had me worried, and that was never a good sign when it came to Bianca Carrington.
She blew out a long sigh. “I kind of asked Christian to bring a few guys with him.” My eyes grew huge, and I knew my face was turning red with both embarrassment and rage. “You never date.” She quickly defended herself, seeing the steam coming from my ears. “And I know why just as well as you do, if you would only admit it to yourself.”
I glared at her. I’d already admitted the why to myself, but it didn’t change anything. I didn’t date because no one could make me burn with just a look like Keith did. My heart, my body—hell, my soul—wanted Keith Winthrop, and it refused to accept anyone else. It wasn’t fair to anyone else if they were only going to be second best.
“Please, Kari.” Bianca was beginning to look concerned when I didn’t answer her immediately. “Just give these guys a chance. Put that fucker out of your mind for tonight, and get to know some of them.”
I brushed by her, too pissed to even speak, and glared at the bouncer who was standing guard at the VIP stairway. “I’m the lucky birthday girl,” I muttered, and he gave me an appreciative once-over before stepping aside and holding the rope for me.
But by the time I reached the top of the stairs, my rage had evaporated, and I realized my friend was completely right. I vowed to myself then and there to keep an open mind…and to lose my virginity by the end of the night. I couldn’t let Keith’s hold over me keep me from moving on with my life, second best or not. Especially when it seemed as if I had no hold whatsoever over him, and he had no problem jumping into multiple beds in the same month.
February being just one example…
No! I wasn’t going to do that to myself tonight. It was time I exorcise him from my life once and for all.
Bianca grasped my elbow when she reached me. “Please don’t be mad.”
I shook my head. “I’m not. And I will give them a chance. But first, I need some tequila.”
“Hell yeah!” she shouted. “Margaritas, baby!”
Giggling, we turned to find three large booths full of our friends. They were all talking amongst themselves but stopped and turned at Bianca’s shout. Everyone jumped up, and I was hugged for the next fifteen minutes, “happy birthdays” ringing in my ears.
The last to pull me into his arms was Hunter. “Happy Birthday, Kari.” He kissed my cheek and held me close for a long moment. When he stepped back, he pulled a present out of the breast pocket of his dinne
r jacket. “This is for you.”
I beamed up at him as I took the jewelry box from him and carefully opened it. Inside was a platinum locket hanging from a long, rose-gold chain. With a slightly unsteady hand, I opened the beautiful locket and found a picture of my mother and his father smiling lovingly back at me.
It took me a minute to get myself under control enough to raise my eyes and smile at him. “Thank you,” I whispered a little brokenly.
“Welcome.” He gave me another kiss on my cheek. “Now, I want to buy the birthday girl her first legally obtained drink!”
“Hell yeah!” I shouted, just as Bianca had earlier, and linked my arm through his.
It wasn’t until I had two margaritas in me and several shots that I remembered my stepbrother had attempted to call me earlier. I was standing beside him at the balcony overlooking the lower part of the club. There were friends all around us, and he seemed deep in conversation with Christian. So I bumped his shoulder to get his attention.
He turned with a grin for me. “Are you drunk already?” he asked loud enough to be heard over the music.
“No.” I was just a little tipsy and feeling way too good. I could have gotten used to this feeling, but I knew what would come afterward. The hangovers weren’t worth it. “Why did you call me earlier? Was it important?”
His blue eyes darkened. “No, it wasn’t important. I just wanted to tell you I invited a few other people.”
“Oh. Okay. That’s cool.” I drained the rest of my margarita, not even wondering who else he could have invited. There were already a handful of people I barely knew mingling with everyone else, so I assumed it was some of them. “I want to dance.”
The man to my left, whom I had been “keeping an open mind” about and had been dragged into a conversation with two other guys, was instantly alert. He wrapped his strong arm around my waist. “That’s my cue!” He winked down at me and tugged me toward the stairs.
Giggling, I waved at Bianca on my way downstairs, and she gave me a beaming smile.