I carried back an armful of dry branches to the playground. Most of the branches I’d plucked from the tree had been covered with goo, making them useless for our intended purpose, but I was still able to find a few that hadn’t been soaked. I expected to be congratulated for my bravery. Instead, I was greeted with a hard slap to the face.

  “What was that for?” I asked Gabby.

  “What were you thinking? What the fuck was that about? You could’ve gotten yourself killed.” She was furious with me for taking such a risk. “Why didn’t you run when you had the chance? Why’d you try to pull it out of the tree? Do you have a death wish or something?”

  “They need to know we’re not going down without a fight,” I said and looked over to Tony’s apartment where the Terrameds were building their hive. I yelled out to them, “You hear that, you slimy pieces of shit? We’re not going to just stand around and wait for you to kill us. Got it? Do you hear me? You fucked with the wrong species. If there’s one thing humans are good at, it’s killing things. And we’re going to kill the ever-loving shit out of you!”

  “What’s the ugly one screaming about?” asked Mimi of her grandson.

  “You could’ve gotten yourself killed,” said Gabby. When I looked at her, we locked eyes for a brief moment before she glanced away and said, “You’re going to get us all killed if you keep up that sort of crap.”

  Do you know how sometimes you catch a glimpse of someone and have an almost telepathic connection with them? I’m not trying to say we connected on some higher plane or anything, I’m not into that metaphysical crap, but when our eyes met for that brief second I knew she still had feelings for me. I knew she was scared to lose me. And in that moment the parentage of the baby in her belly seemed certain. It was almost like she told me, with just a glance and an expression of concern, that I was the father.

  Gabby placed her arms over her stomach, one on top and the other beneath, as if trying to do anything she could to soothe the child. I couldn’t help but stare at her giant belly, and think about the baby within.

  It was almost a sweet moment, until Gabby said, “You’re such a fucking idiot sometimes, Dave.”

  Tony interrupted by asking for the ionizer. I took off the leather bra and battery pack, and handed it over to Jerry and Tony so that they could start figuring out how to use it to start a fire. After that, I asked Gabby to help search me for any of those awful maggots. I could feel them squiggling around on me, and I needed to get them off as soon as possible. I was reminded of the scene in ‘Stand by Me’ where the kids get leeches on them. Thankfully, there wasn’t one sneaking around my junk like poor Wil Wheaton – sorry, that’s a poorly worded sentence. It makes you think Wil Wheaton’s the one sneaking around my junk.

  “Oh God, you smell awful,” said Gabby as she helped me search for slugs.

  My heart was racing, but not because of the near-death experience I’d just escaped, and not because we were being hunted by slug-spitting, sentient squid beasts. It was racing because I was trying to work up the courage to ask about the baby. I finally forced myself, “Gabby, is it mine?”

  “Is what yours?” she asked, oblivious to my meaning. “The worms? Shit, if you want them, you can have them.”

  “No, not the worms. The baby.”

  She froze. My blunt question had momentarily dazed her. After her brief, rare moment of silence, she shook her head and said, “We’re not having this conversation right now.”

  “Yes we are,” I said. “You need to tell me the truth. Tony said you’re eight months along. So either you were cheating on me, or that’s my baby.”

  “Can we do this some other time?”

  “No, Gabby. I need to know.”

  “Why?” she asked with an edge of fury, as if she meant her words to sting. “What’s it matter to you? Huh? You left, remember? You don’t get to show up and start…” She was frustrated, and struggled to put her emotions into words. “Start caring, or whatever.”

  “If that’s my baby then I…”

  “It’s not.” Her declaration was meant to sting, but I think we were both taken aback by just how hurtful it’d been. The implication, of course, was that either she was lying or that she’d been cheating on me when we were dating. The revelation left me speechless, and she lowered her voice as she said, “So, just drop it. Okay?”

  Tony and Otis couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were trying to look like they weren’t watching, but failed.

  “Is it Jason’s?” I asked, even though it wasn’t really my business. I was the one who broke up with her. What difference did it make who she slept with? Even if she’d been cheating on me, that hardly mattered now.

  “Yes,” she said and started to walk around me. I stepped in her way, and gently put my hands on her. She tried to push me away, but I wouldn’t let her pass. During our mini-struggle, my hand ended up on her belly.

  “How do you know it’s not mine?” I tried to whisper, but we were so close to the others that I’m sure they could hear. All except Mimi, of course. “It’s not like you got a DNA test or anything. It could be mine.”

  “Trust me, it’s his.”

  Let me be honest here. Learning that she’d cheated on me was a blow to my ego that’d take a long time to get over. Given time, I’m certain I’d start to run through the days we spent together in a pathetic attempt to pin down when she’d started cheating on me, and if there’d been signs. As a living, human male, that’s the sort of self-torture we love to participate in. I’d been cuckolded, and that’s not forgiven or forgotten easily. However, I also knew there was no way she could say for certain the baby wasn’t mine, and there’s no way in hell I’m clocking out of this life as a deadbeat dad. That’s never going to happen.

  I was about to try and relay that to her when I felt the baby move.

  She felt it too, obviously, and she could tell by my stunned expression that this was an important moment for all three of us. She stopped trying to move around me, and allowed my hand to stay on her belly.

  “I can…” That’s all I said before the words faded into less than a whisper.

  “He’s upset.”

  “He?”

  She nodded. “It’s a boy. He’s been tossing and turning all day.”

  “A boy?” I asked as if feeling the baby move stole all the sense out of me. My brain was struggling to keep up with what she’d said.

  “Yes, a boy.”

  There I was, in my ‘Mother Fucker’ t-shirt, covered in smelly squid discharge, dumbfounded by the possibility that I might be a father. Before I could contemplate the situation, the baby moved again. He kicked right against my hand.

  “Oh, that was a good one,” said Gabby, and kindly moved my hand off. “You’re invading his space.”

  I leaned down so that I could speak directly to where I thought his head might be. Gabby told me to stop, but she didn’t push me away. She said faintly, “He’s not yours.”

  I ignored her, and spoke to my potential son, “Hey buddy, it’s me, Dave. Dad, maybe. I’m going to make sure you and your mom get out of here alive. All right? You hear me in there, big guy? You’ve got my word.” I was on my knees, my cheek pressed to the underside of Gabby’s belly. I reached up and set my hand over her navel, hoping to feel the boy inside move again.

  Gabby put her hand on mine, as gentle as a feather settling on the floor. She brushed her thumb over my knuckle as I continued to promise her baby boy that everything was going to be okay.

  In all of my 33 years, I’d never been struck by a sense of purpose before. That phrase always sounded like sentimental rubbish, sort of like love at first sight. It was the stuff of children’s stories and motivational seminars. Standing there on that pirate ship playground, surrounded by sentient jellyfish monsters, I found my purpose.

  Does that sound hokey?

  Maybe so, but grant me this moment of sentimentality and self-grandeur, because the weight of my new responsibility hit me like a freight train.
Gabby and that boy in her belly were going to make it out of here alive. I’d gladly die to make that happen.

  “It’s going to be okay,” I whispered to her belly.

  “Okay, this is getting weird now,” said Gabby as she pushed at my shoulder to get me away.

  I laughed and looked up at her just in time to see her wipe the start of a tear away from the corner of her eye. I stood and slipped my hand into hers. I squeezed, and then kissed her forehead before saying, “I’ll be there for you. Thick and thin, I’ll be there.”

  Her mood darkened. She shook her head and said, “No you won’t.” It wasn’t a bitter statement. Gabby never shied away from angry declarations and reproachful condemnation, but this was different. This time it was honest, hurtful, and filled with certainty and sorrow. It was as if she already knew the truth, and had come to grips with the pain of it long ago.

  I wanted to argue, but before I could we were interrupted by Jerry’s joyful shouts. Everyone turned their attention to him.

  “I got it,” said Jerry as he started a fire. He’d used his battery pack and one of Mimi’s bobby pins to light a branch on fire, and the dry wood was quickly burning. He and Tony had torn apart the cushion of Mimi’s wheelchair and used the inner lining to fashion a rudimentary rubber glove that allowed Jerry to handle the bobby pin without getting shocked. They used the stuffing of the cushion as a sort of kindling to get the fire started. It worked perfectly. Jerry carefully took the bobby pin out of the socket and latched it onto the bra’s strap before standing with his newly lit torch.

  I looked up at the cloudy sky and said, “Let’s hurry before the sun gets blocked again.”

  “Wait,” said Gabby. “Let’s be smart about this. What’s the plan?”

  I pointed to both of Mimi’s neighbors and said, “We’re going to light a fire on either side of Mimi’s apartment. If the Terrameds show up to put the fire out, then we can see about trying to sneak out of one of the other entrances. But let’s hope that’s not what happens. What we’re hoping for is that they stay away. If they do, then we can run through your grandma’s place and go out the back door.”

  “And then what?” asked Gabby.

  I honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead. “We can get to your brother’s truck and drive out to the mountains.”

  “Or to the bike path,” said Tony. “That’d probably be easier than trying to take the roads. The bike path goes through the park, and it’s a straight shot up to the foothills.”

  “All right then, that’s what we’ll do,” I said with newfound determination. “Jerry, give me the stick.”

  “Wait, wait,” said Gabby, desperate to delay the inevitable danger.

  “There’s no point in waiting,” I said. “Let’s get this over with.”

  “Wait, goddammit, just wait a second. Look at the building.” She pointed to Mimi’s apartment. “It’s still in the shade. If we give it a little time, the sun’s going to move over that way.” She pointed back towards Tony’s apartment, which was illuminated by the sun beaming directly on it. She was right, if we waited just a little longer, the sun’s position would cause it to shine on Mimi’s apartment. “If we wait another hour or so, the sun’ll be pointed that way. And it’ll give Jay some more time to get here.”

  “It’ll also give those things more time to figure out a way to get to us,” said Otis, and I agreed with him.

  “They’re just fucking squids,” said Gabby. “They’re not, like… They’re not…” She was struggling to bolster her argument, but was failing.

  “Jerry, give me the torch,” I said.

  “Stop it,” said Gabby. “This isn’t a dictatorship. We all get a say in this. Let’s vote on whether or not to go now, or to wait until the sun’s in a better spot.”

  “The longer we wait…” I tried to argue, but she interrupted me.

  “You’re not in charge, Dave. Those are my brothers. That’s my grandma. This is my fucking baby.” She put her hands over her stomach to exemplify the point. “You don’t get to decide for all of us.”

  “Fine, then let’s vote,” I said, certain it would fall in my favor. “If you think we should go now, raise your hand.” I raised mine, and Otis raised his.

  Jerry wasn’t sure what to think, and looked at his brother for guidance. Tony said, “Keep your hand down, Jer.”

  “That’s not fair,” I said. “And what about Mimi? Is anyone going to explain to her what we’re doing?”

  “She’d agree with me,” said Gabby. “She’s my grandma. So that settles it. We wait.”

  “That’s such bullshit,” I said, but there wasn’t much I could do. I threw my hands up, as if sick and tired of the whole debacle. I was being a bit petulant, admittedly. “Fine. Have it your way. Let’s wait here for them to come and kill us. If they can dig through wood and cement, then they sure the fuck can dig through sand.” I pointed down beneath us. “It’s only a matter of time before another cloud blocks the sun.”

  “Then let’s get up high and keep an eye out,” said Gabby.

  “Fine,” I said. “Otis, come with me over to that side.” I pointed to the other side of the playground, over the suspension bridge to the second spire, near the straight slide. “We’ll keep an eye on their hive. Gabby, you and Tony keep an eye on that side, and don’t forget to watch the ground too. If you see the sand moving, then we know they’re trying to sneak under us.”

  “Dave, wait,” said Gabby as she stepped closer to me. “Don’t be all pissy.”

  “I’m not. If we’re going to stay here, then we need to keep an eye on as much ground as possible.”

  “So you’re not mad?” she asked.

  I didn’t answer, and instead said to Tony, “You might want to tell Jerry to put the fire out for now.”

  Poor Jerry was still holding his burning stick, and the flame was seconds away from reaching his hand. Tony took the stick away and tossed it to the sand below.

  “We’ll work on wrapping some of these sticks with pieces of Mimi’s cushion,” said Tony. “I bet we can turn them into torches.”

  “Sounds good,” I said and left.

  Otis and I crossed the suspension bridge and climbed the short ladder up to the second highest peak of the playground. From this vantage, we could see the Terramed hive better. The mucus had hardened on the wall, shielding it from the sun. Almost the entire façade was now covered in the muck, and the worms were still building more, stretching the protective layer even further.

  We could see the Terrameds moving within the hive, their tentacles slithering around as if they were busily working on something we couldn’t see.

  “What the hell are those things?” asked Otis. “Where did they come from?”

  “I’ve got no freaking clue, man.”

  Otis looked down at the sand below. “I bet there’s a barrier between the sand and the dirt. Maybe that’ll stop them from digging under us.”

  “Maybe, but I wouldn’t count on it. I bet the barrier just goes down a foot or so. If they dig under that, then they can get to the sand.”

  “Do you think they’re smart enough to figure that out?”

  “They seem pretty damn smart to me,” I said. “That one at the tree was hiding from me. It was sneaking up the other side, trying to get in position to snatch me up.”

  “You think it’s like this everywhere? I mean, are we going to bust our ass to get out of Little Mexico only to end up face to face with an army of those things?”

  “I don’t know, man. I sure hope not.”

  We watched the sand, waiting for any sign of movement. From time to time I looked up at the sky, hoping the sun stayed away from the clouds. I also stole a few glances at Gabby, but she was focused on her family. Beaver was on the other side of the suspension bridge, unwilling to make the trek across the unstable path. I thought about going back to retrieve him, but then Otis started talking again.

  “Sorry about the baby.”

  “What?” I asked.


  He was leaning over the edge of a plastic wall that was fitted with nine plastic blocks in a grid pattern. The blocks had pictures on each side so that kids could either make pictures or play tic-tac-toe. Someone had moved all of the blocks so that the letter ‘X’ was facing us.

  Otis glanced over his shoulder in Gabby’s direction and said, “You know, the baby. I heard what she said. Looks like it bummed you out.”

  “I’d say it could be worse,” I said, and motioned to the area around us. “But I’m not sure it could.”

  “Cheer up. It’s the apocalypse, Dave. Try to have fun.”

  I laughed and then said, “I’ll try. And as for the baby, for all she knows it could be mine. No way to tell yet. No matter what, we’ve got to keep that kid safe. Doesn’t matter whose it is.”

  “I hear ya,” said Otis. “Don’t worry, brother. We’ll get her out of here. If I’ve got to throw you into the squid nest as bait, I’ll do it. I won’t let you down.”

  “That’d probably work,” I said. “At least one of those things has a good reason to hate me.”

  “Just let me know, man. All you’ve got to do is say the word and I’ll toss you over there.”

  I joked with Otis about how he wasn’t strong enough to toss a toddler, and he nearly picked me up and tossed me over the side just to prove he could. It was while we were joking around that Gabby yelled over to us, “Heads up, guys. Quit fucking around.”

  She was pointing up at the sky.

  There was a large, dark cloud moving towards the sun. In minutes, the sun would disappear, and we’d be left vulnerable once again.

  We stared at the sand, like gazelles watching the tall grass around a watering hole for a sign of predators, fully aware it was only a matter of time before...

  10 – Whistles Dipped in Shit