“Chocolate,” Jana called out.
“Okay, good answer. Chocolate can be a short-term pleasure that can produce long-term pain. Good. Next group?”
As Shane collected more answers, Sierra thought about Amy.
I should have called her instead of waiting and assuming she would show up, she chided herself. I should have called her just to let her know Drake would be here—kind of with me. Well, hopefully she’ll be at the meeting afterward, and I can try to explain things to her then.
“Okay,” Shane said, pulling everyone’s attention back to the front, “let’s look at a verse I believe will help all of us. If you have your Bible with you, I suggest you underline this one. And if you didn’t bring your Bible, bring it next week, okay? Anyone who doesn’t have a Bible, let me know, and we’ll get you one.”
A rustling noise filled the room as people reached for their Bibles. Sierra felt bad. She had forgotten hers, and that wasn’t like her. But tonight she had been so preoccupied that she had run out the door without it. She would listen closely, though, and remember the verse Shane read. That way when she got home, she could mark it in her Bible.
Actually, quite a few days had passed since she had spent time reading her Bible or praying. It was easy to rationalize that lapse, because with the beginning of summer, her schedule had changed and her life had become hectic. Sierra knew she needed that regular time talking to God and listening to Him to stay on track. She silently promised herself and God that she would read extra chapters tonight.
“Got your Bibles ready? Here’s the verse: Hebrews 12:11. It says, ‘All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.’”
For the next ten minutes, Shane talked about what discipline meant and how Christians needed to be trained in discipline to have peace with themselves and with God.
Sierra tried hard to listen, but she kept wondering if Drake was going to reach for her hand or slip his arm around her while Shane talked. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted Drake’s attention. Unfortunately, all the anticipation and subsequent disappointment kept her from hearing Shane’s message. Sierra did remember the Scripture reference, though, and she planned to mark it in her Bible when she got home.
After Shane closed the meeting in prayer, Randy and the band played again. Then all the people going on the backpacking trip went into another room to meet. Amy didn’t show up, which worried Sierra.
Shane handed out a list of everything they needed to bring, along with a permission slip that had to be filled out by their parents before they left Monday morning. Ten minutes into the meeting, Wesley walked into the room.
Shane looked up with obvious relief. “Good. Wes is here. You guys, this is our other trip leader, Wes Jensen. He’s our wilderness expert. Any questions, you can ask him.”
Sierra gave Wes a look that reflected her surprise. He winked in return and started asking if everyone had proper hiking boots.
Sierra smiled ruefully. With Wes as a leader, Drake as her new boyfriend, and the tension she was experiencing with Randy and Amy, this was going to be some trip!
AS SOON AS SIERRA GOT HOME, she phoned Amy. But Amy’s voice mail picked up the call. Sierra tried again the next morning and got the machine a second time. Finally, exasperated, she drove over to Amy’s house, and Amy answered the door.
“I called,” Sierra said. “Why didn’t you answer?”
“I was in the shower.” Amy sounded defensive.
She led Sierra to her bedroom. On the wall behind Amy’s bed hung a gorgeous old quilt stitched together from patchwork squares by Amy’s grandma. The bed wasn’t made, and belongings were scattered around the room—a clump of dirty clothes on the floor by the closet, a pile of papers on the desk, a stack of magazines by the bed with a half-empty glass of milk on top.
Sierra sat in the chair by Amy’s desk and began to chat as if there were no reason for things to be strained between them.
“You’re still going backpacking, aren’t you? I missed you at the meeting last night.”
“I had to fill in for a girl at work who called in sick. I don’t know if I’m going backpacking after all.” Amy avoided Sierra’s eyes.
“Why not? We’ve been planning this for a long time. You already asked for time off from work, didn’t you? I brought you a permission slip. It needs to be filled out by your parents before we leave Monday.”
“I heard Drake is going.” Amy arched her eyebrows, waiting for Sierra’s response.
“Yes, he is. I’ve been trying to find the best way to tell you what’s happening.”
“Did he ask you out?” Amy asked.
“Yes. Tonight.”
“So you’re going out with him! Are you excited about it?” Amy looked as if she were happy for Sierra.
“Yes.”
“That’s great, Sierra.” Amy smiled and adjusted some books stacked on her nightstand.
“Do you really mean that? You’re not upset about this?”
“No. I told you. This is high school. You’re supposed to go out with guys when they ask you. Or at least the ones worth going out with.”
“Thanks for understanding,” Sierra said, relieved. “I didn’t want things to be strained between us now that Drake is going backpacking, too. Oh, and did I tell you? Wes is also coming.”
Amy looked up. “He is?”
“Yes. Shane asked him to come along as an assistant. You didn’t have anything to do with that, did you?”
Amy shrugged her shoulders. “I just suggested it a couple of times. You know that.”
Sierra lowered her voice. “How are things with your parents?”
“They seem fine. As if nothing happened. I’m waiting for them to blow up again, you know?”
Sierra didn’t know. Her parents didn’t have that kind of relationship, so she couldn’t understand what it was like to have to tiptoe around your own home, trying not to irritate someone who was already upset.
“I really appreciate your understanding about Drake. He’s a great guy. Thanks for being so nice about everything.”
Amy looked down. “Don’t thank me. You’re the one who attracted him. He was never interested in me. Anyway, it seems pretty clear you two are getting along great.”
“God will have someone special for you, Amy. Just wait and see.” Sierra couldn’t believe she was saying those words. Over the years, she had heard other people using that line, and she hated it. Why did it seem natural to say it now? What was happening to her?
“I have to do some things this morning before I go to work,” Sierra said, changing the subject. “I’m working till nine tonight. New hours Mrs. Kraus is trying out. Come see me if you can.”
“I’m working from five to nine,” Amy said. “And all day tomorrow.”
“Then I guess I’ll see you at church on Sunday.” Amy smiled as Sierra left and said, “Have a good time with Drake.”
“I will. Thanks.”
Sierra hopped into her car and drove downtown to the Outback Store to get her supplies for the backpacking trip. She wished she could feel settled about Amy, but a thread of tension still hung between them. Amy seemed to be holding something back. Or was she only imagining it?
Next door to the Outback Store was a pharmacy. Sierra decided she needed to buy some items there first, things she had never bought before. The biodegradable soap could wait. She wanted to buy some makeup.
That night, after a quick shower, Sierra slipped into her favorite jean shorts and white cotton shirt. With bracelets, necklace, and earrings in place, she started to work on trying to tame her hair.
This is pointless, Sierra thought after a while. No matter what she did, her hair cascaded in unruly curls from the crown of her head down to the middle of her back. For years, other girls had admired Sierra’s locks and said they would trade hair with her any day. She would have been only too glad to accommodate them.
/>
Sierra wasn’t so concerned about her hair tonight. She was too excited about the small bag of cosmetics she had bought at the pharmacy. This was an adventure for Sierra. The only times she had worn makeup were the scattered occasions when Tawni had imposed her cosmetic skills on her.
Tonight, though, she was on her own. Twirling the mascara wand the way she remembered Tawni had done it, Sierra started from the outside lashes and worked her way toward the inside lashes. Leaning toward the bathroom mirror with her mouth open in an O, Sierra made each stroke with slow, deliberate care. Stepping back and blinking slightly, she felt pleased. Her eyes did look bigger, just as Tawni had said. She finished with a little brown eyeliner the way Tawni applied it—thin and even, then softened with a Q-tip. So far, so good.
For lipstick, Sierra had bought a gloss with a natural red shade. She liked it immediately, not only for the way it highlighted her lips, but also for the way it smelled like fresh strawberries.
I wonder if Drake will notice.
Sierra felt herself blush slightly as she pictured Drake kissing her tonight. She stuck the tube of strawberry lip gloss in her pocket and gave herself a final look.
Ready or not, Drake, here I come!
IT WAS A GOOD THING Drake showed up on time. If Sierra had tried to contain her butterflies any longer, they would have started to escape out her ears.
“You look great,” he said when she greeted him at the front door.
After a few last-minute reminders from Sierra’s parents, she and Drake were on their way.
Instead of Drake’s old, beat-up car, an expensive-looking blue sedan sat at the curb.
“It’s my mom’s car,” he explained as he opened the passenger door. Sierra slid onto the clean upholstery. “I told her I wanted tonight to be special, and she said I could use it.”
“That was nice of her.”
“She’s a nice mom,” Drake agreed, getting in and fastening his seat belt. “Sure beats the delivery van.”
Sierra laughed. “I’m glad you didn’t pick me up in that!”
Before Drake started the engine, he reached over and took Sierra’s hand in his. In the shelter of his large, cool hand, Sierra realized how clammy hers had become. Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice.
“How’re you doing?” Drake smiled at her.
“Great!” Sierra said. She was startled to hear her voice squeak out. She cleared her throat. “Well, maybe a little nervous. It was kind of a full day.”
Drake gave her hand a squeeze, then let go and turned the key in the ignition.
Sierra tried to organize all of her thoughts, which were flying around in her head like popcorn kernels: her feelings about herself, her looks, her outfit, her posture.
Should she try to sit closer to him? Was that last squirt of “Vanilla Earth Scents” too much? Should she roll down the window? Would it be tacky to pull down the visor mirror and make sure her mascara hadn’t smeared?
“My day was pretty full, too,” Drake said. “Three new accounts in the Powell district and none of the delivery bags were loaded in the van. I had to go back twice because I thought they were all newborn, but one was the twelve-to-eighteen-month size.”
Sierra started to laugh.
Drake glanced at her, and then realized how trivial his stress sounded to her. “Yes, siree,” he said with a tease in his voice, “haulin’ diapers around town is a mighty tough job.”
“But somebody’s gotta do it, right?” Sierra said.
“It’s probably not quite as stressful as getting the swirl-e-que just right on top of those yogurt cones, is it?”
Sierra laughed again and started to relax. “You have no idea. And then there’s the mixed factor. Some customers want the chocolate and vanilla swirled and others want only chocolate or only vanilla. I tell you, it’s completely exhausting.”
Drake smiled. He liked her, she could tell.
“I bought the tickets before coming to your house.” Drake said. “I wanted to make sure they weren’t sold out.”
They parked at the theater and walked inside, still teasing each other about their hard day’s work. His six-foot-two frame towered above her as they stood in line for popcorn. She loved being so much shorter than Drake. It made her feel dainty. Randy was only a few inches taller than Sierra, and when she held hands with him, she felt more like his twin.
Drake led her to a center aisle in the theater, and with their tub of popcorn and two large soft drinks, they maneuvered past four other people. Settling in, Sierra felt her crazy emotions calm down. They balanced the popcorn between them and began to munch away. The movie started. Sierra wondered if Drake was going to hold her hand. It would be difficult since she kept using that hand to scoop up the popcorn.
Sierra began to eat faster. The sooner the popcorn was gone, the sooner their hands would be empty. Drake seemed to be in no hurry and ate only a small handful every five minutes or so. Feeling like a pig, Sierra settled back, slowly munching the popcorn at the same pace as Drake, and enjoyed the movie.
“How did you like it?” Drake asked as they left the theater.
“Lots of action!” Sierra said, looking up at his clean-shaven face in the light of the lobby. “It was good. I can’t remember what other show I saw the actress in, but I liked her in this role a lot better.”
“You hungry?”
Sierra folded her hands across her stomach. “Are you kidding? After all that popcorn?”
“Something to drink maybe?”
“I’m with you. Wherever you want to go is fine with me.”
Drake slipped his arm around her shoulder, and Sierra wrapped her arm around his waist. No one could have described to her how good it felt. She suddenly understood lyrics to love songs, comments from girlfriends, underlying themes from romance movies. There was no feeling like this in the world.
Drake drove to the Brewed Awakenings coffee shop, and they sat at a table outside. He had hot chocolate; she sipped tea. They talked about their families, their plans for college, their favorite cartoon characters, and what the lyrics meant to a song that played in the background.
Sierra liked the way Drake looked directly at her when she spoke, as if drinking in her words. Never before in her life had she felt as special and sought after as she did tonight.
Drake drove her home, laughing over a joke she told him. He pulled up in front of the house and turned off the engine. Sierra felt her heart racing. She wanted to reach for the strawberry lip gloss in her pocket but decided that that would be too obvious. She undid her seat belt. Drake undid his. He shifted in his seat. She shifted in hers. Certainly he would notice in the glow from the streetlight how rosy her cheeks were turning.
“Sierra,” he said tenderly, reaching for her hand.
She linked fingers with his, hoping her wildly pounding heart would calm down.
“Before you go, I want to ask you something.”
This is it! Sierra thought excitedly. Drake is such a gentleman that he’s even going to ask me before he kisses me, the way he asked Dad if he could take me out
With a slight smile, Sierra invited his question. “Yes?”
“I don’t do this with every girl I go out with,” Drake said. His slicked-back hair had fallen forward on the right side, giving him a vulnerable, schoolboy look. “But you’re different, and if you don’t mind…”
He squeezed her hand a little tighter. Sierra held her breath.
“Yes?”
“Will you pray with me?”
SIERRA SLOWLY began to breathe again. A big lump refused to go down her throat.
“Sure.” She closed her eyes, swallowed hard, and licked her strawberry-less lips.
His words were brief but seemed to be heartfelt, as Drake thanked God for their time together and asked for his direction for each of their futures. By the time he said, “Amen,” Sierra had come down from her cloud.
“Thanks,” she said. “I had a wonderful time.”
“So did I,” he replied
. “Let me get your door.”
Sierra remembered what Amy had said about Drake opening the door for her. She didn’t remember Amy’s mentioning anything about praying with him, though. They walked to the front door, and before Sierra could let her exhausted imagination come up with all the possible scenarios of what might happen next, Drake smiled at her and said, “Good night.” Then he turned and hustled to the car as if he were on a tight curfew to get home.
Sierra felt drained. Happy and sad at the same time. Delighted and frustrated. She opened the door and heard the TV in the family room.
“Sierra?” her mom called out. “Did you have a good time”?
“Yes, it was wonderful. I’m going to bed.” She headed upstairs, still lost in a daze. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to pray with Drake. She thought that was great. It made her realize, though, how long it had been since she had had a good, long conversation with God. What had happened? What had crowded her time so much?
Ten minutes later, as Sierra climbed into bed, her mother tapped on her door. “How did everything go?”
“It was totally wonderful. He laughed at my jokes, opened my door, bought me popcorn, and prayed with me. I think I’m in love.”
Mrs. Jensen laughed. “Are you serious?”
“Actually, I don’t know what I feel. He held my hand and prayed with me. I liked that. A lot. It was just different from what I expected.”
“What did you expect?” her mom asked, stretching out on Tawni’s bed.
Sierra felt embarrassed telling her mom, but they had always been honest about everything. “Well, I guess I thought he might kiss me.”
“And he didn’t?”
“No.”
“What would his kiss have meant to you?”
“Meant to me? I don’t know. That he liked me. That he wanted to go out with me again. That he thought I was attractive.”
Her mom propped herself up on her elbow and rested her head in her hand. “You don’t think he felt those things without kissing you?”
Sierra thought hard. “He made me feel all those things. I guess I just expected a kiss. I don’t know. My emotions were running around in my head all night like escaped zoo animals.”