CHAPTER 5
Dave read the advertisement in the 'Plastics & Rubber Weekly' again.
"Required to work in our new factory in Toronto, a Development Scientist with at least three years experience in the field of polyurethane foams. We are seeking a person of high potential for exciting work at the forefront of production-oriented research in this fast-moving area. Excellent salary and promotion prospects are commensurate with our view of the importance of this appointment. Candidates should apply in the first instance to our Head Office in London."
Monsanto, who were advertising, were one of the major competitors in the overseas market and widely respected even by Folklore. Reading between the lines, Dave thought it highly likely that they were after someone from his own Department since it was widely known that their new process was something big and there was growing puzzlement as to why nothing had happened in the three years since it was known to have started its first production trials.
"Anyone applying for it would have to be pretty careful", he mused. "You could end up by being sucked dry and then ditched without a job, and in Canada, to boot. But then," he reflected "desperate men do desperate things!"
He concealed the periodical in his desk drawer and locked it, glanced round quickly and removed the spare copy from Pat's desk. So far, so good! He popped his head round the corner of Peddle's office. Taylor was at the other factory and Peddle was over on the Plant, Thomas was nowhere to be seen. Peddle's copy lay unopened on his desk and Thomas's was at the top of the pile of correspondence in his 'in' tray. As far as he knew, Taylor didn't get one. He took the two copies and concealed them, together with Pat's in the folder he was carrying.
Grey, Dik and Smith were all in residence. Grey was trying to compose a letter while Dik was holding forth to Smith about carburettors. On each desk a P & R Weekly lay unopened.
"Have you seen the sample mattress moulding Bobski made this morning?" he enquired innocently. "Rather unusual." It was a shot in the dark. (He knew that Bobski had been conditioning a new mould which had been bought in to satisfy some whim of a Head Office executive who wanted to see a polyether mattress made in the same way as a latex foam one. The two technologies were incompatible, latex foam mouldings were made by pouring liquid foamed latex into moulds containing lots of metal cores which conducted in the necessary heat to set and cure it and the products were all thin sections with holes in them. Polyethers, on the other hand, were foamed in situ and were notoriously difficult to get to flow round corners and also tended to stick and tear in thin sections and so were at their best in large chunky products - thus it would be a major achievement to actually get the moulding out in one piece even if the polyether compound could be persuaded to flow evenly round all the obstructions. In fact, Bobski managed to achieve the miracle but the product was hopelessly uneconomical by comparison with a normal slabstock mattress and the idea was never exploited).
"You're behind the times" remarked Grey without looking up. "He made one on Friday afternoon - after teabreak, so none of you lot would have noticed. Ridiculous ideas these Sales People get at times!"
"I could do with stretching me legs, though" said Dik. "Coming for a look?" he asked Smith.
With their departure, Dave tried again with Grey. "By the way, Folklore's secretary was looking for you."
Grey scowled but made no move to get up.
"Said he wanted to see you."
Grey continued to sit.
"Something to do with Sage's Small Machine."
"He knows exactly what I think about it!"
"I might be wrong, but I gather that he's having second thoughts."
Grey looked up. "Is he now! You never know, commonsense could prevail, even in this Department." He made off eagerly to do battle. Dave gleefully scooped up the P & R Weeklys and then popped into the lab assistants' office (a partitioned off corner of the lab) where Little Mike was writing out some test forms.
"Oh, good. I was just coming to see you when I'd written up these results because I've run out of work again."
"Oh, well, can you go over to the main stores and get an urgent sample from Saturday's experimentals. That's Run 181, 182 and 183. The usual schedule of tests."
"Done! These are they" he indicated the test forms.
"Oh, sh.. - I mean, er - well, can you do a duplicate set for Grey - straight away. Leave filling in those until later."
"Anything you say, only they'll be the same, won't they. I mean, I could photocopy the test sheets, couldn't I?"
"Oh, well that's what Grey said."
Little Mike departed, shaking his head and Dave annexed the lab. copy and made his way to the pilot plant, surreptitiously sneaking in through the side door while Bobski was occupied with Dik and Smith up at the other end. Ernie was sat at the desk reading the pilot plant copy.
"Grey was looking for you. Said if I saw you that it was urgent!"
"I've just seen him!" protested Ernie "about ten minutes ago in the office."
"It must have been after that, I've only just finished talking to him."
Ernie cursed, put down the paper and made off grumbling. "No peace in this place! All I ask is a few minutes..." as he slammed the door behind him. Dave took the paper and sidled out the same way as he came in. He made his way to the back stairs and the engineer's office.
Sage's secretary was sitting at her desk, pruning her fingernails. Two copies, which she had yet to give to Sage and Alf lay by the typewriter along with the morning's correspondence. He was running out of ideas. He paused to engage her in conversation while looking for an excuse to get her to move, but it was a summons from an irate Sage which gave him the opportunity. As she went into his office, notepad in hand, he could hear him exchanging cross words with, presumably, Folklore over the telephone. Dave took the two copies and slipped away into Melksham's office which was unoccupied. Starting with Melksham's own copy, he fed the P & R Weeklys one by one to the document destroyer. He could hear Sage next door dictating a memo to his secretary
"....and I confirm that the new pilot machine is to have an output of 200 grammes per minute as agreed by yourself at the last Development Meeting. Materials have been ordered and the design specification laid down. If you wish to change your mind at this stage, you will incur considerable extra costs."
"And a copy to Mr Millar, please."
"Time I disappeared up the front offices for a while" said Dave to himself. He put his head round the corner to ensure that the coast was clear and quietly tiptoed up the corridor. A furious debate was going on between Folklore and Grey on what seemed to be the subject of the new pilot machine and the noise masked his departure.
Dave sat at his desk, gently burping 'Red Barrel' fumes from his lunchtime session with Dik at the 'Goat and Compasses' and mentally redecorating the office walls with pinups of Folklore in drag so that he could throw things at them whenever he was in a bad mood. Pat was falling asleep opposite, feet up on the desk and the 'Telegraph' draped over his head to shut out the light. For some reason he also had a respirator fastened over each ear. Mike was idly attempting to catch a bluebottle by pinging a rubber band at it each time it settled on one of the coffee cup rings on the numerous papers on his desk. As he had a low tolerance to alcohol, his lunchtime intake had been sufficient to bring on double vision and he was aiming midway between the two flies that he could see as the best chance of scoring a hit. All was peaceful.
It was about midway between afternoon teabreak and the onset of the post-lunch hangover when Grey entered. There were several alternative sarcastic quips which would have been suitable, but caught between all of them he was momentarily at a loss and the opportunity passed.
"Have you borrowed my P & R Weekly?" he enquired instead "only it was taken from my desk this morning before I had a chance to open it."
"That was me, old chap - I forgot to return it. Not that there's much worth reading." Dave tossed a copy of the previous issue to him. Grey
grunted and retired to his office to read it while Dave smiled inwardly and rubbed his knee against the drawer which concealed the 'hot' copy.
"I could swear that I have read this already!" said Grey with an air of puzzlement. Dik, from the desk opposite, belched loudly and did not even open his eyes.
"I'm going sick, tomorrow" said Dave on his way to the car park with Pat "so I'll see you on Wednesday."
"Makes two of us then. Anything special?"
"Interview. I'll tell you the details when I see you. Yours anything important?"
Pat hesitated an instant too long before giving some story about plumbers fixing the heating and his family being away with his in-laws.
"I wonder what he's up to" he thought as he drove home.
He put on his Interview Suit and caught the early train to London, arriving ten minutes early at the plush offices of Monsanto (UK) Ltd. to see the Overseas Marketing Manager and the Plant Manager (Toronto) who had flown over specially to interview for the post. It was all very gentlemanly. They talked for an hour and a half about the job of Development Scientist (Toronto), the advantages of living in Canada, Dave's present appointment and why he wanted to leave it. They discussed Folklore, who in his time must have visited just about every foam manufacturer and user on the American sub-Continent at one time or another and who was known to them. They also discussed the Project, without him giving away anything of technical importance and finally let him go with a promise to write to him as soon as they had made up their minds.
He left the interview feeling vaguely uneasy. He was sure in his own mind that he would not get the offer and he also realised that they had extracted a great deal of background information about the state of his Company and the internal strictures it suffered from. Possibly, they had obtained some indirect clues on the technical side - a clever detective, given a little to work on and contacts with the chemical suppliers could glean a surprising amount just from the purchasing patterns of the Company.
On his way out through the imposing entrance doors he found himself face to face with Peddle.
"You too!"
"Why not?"
"What time's your interview?"
"11 oclock."
"We've got ten minutes, come for a walk round the block."
"How did you find out about it?"
"That's easy", replied Peddle with a smile, "when somebody goes to the trouble to make the P & R Weekly disappear, there must be something important in it. I borrowed a copy from one of the salesmen in the Front Offices."
"I suppose you didn't meet Pat while you were at it? Because he's having the day off, today, as well. Oh, and by the way, I'm afraid it was me who did the disappearing trick with the paper, you won't shop me will you?"
"Oh, dear! I wonder if anybody at all turned up at work today. Thomas applied and has an interview, but as he's solely on the Works side of things and barely qualified technically, I hardly think that he's in the running."
"We ought to be heading back if you aren't to be late." As they walked, Dave gave him a short summary of the interview and communicated his uneasy feelings. They arrived back at the imposing portals of Monsanto U.K. Ltd.
"Well, good luck!"
"May the best man win!"
Peddle went in through the imposing doors. Dave set off for the station.
He met Dik on the way in the next morning and he gave him an amused account of events back at the Department. Besides himself, Peddle, Pat and Taylor, Mike had also been missing, presumably on the same mission. With Thomas off at the other factory the ground floor offices had been deserted with the exception of Grey and himself and as luck would have it, Folklore's lunch appointment had fallen through leaving him with absolutely nothing to do.
For the first half hour or so he made Grey's life a misery by phoning him every two or three minutes with some trivia until he could stand it no more and took the phone off the hook. (*see Author's note P45) Five minutes after his act of self defence, Dik heard the phone ringing in the empty chemist's office, first Dave's then Pat's. A short pause, then Peddle's, one office nearer and that much louder. As the ringing stopped, he took his own extension off and a thwarted Folklore could only try the three phones again, which he did at some length before giving up.
About five minutes later, the squeak of the Folklore footwear preceded its owner down the corridor, pausing at each empty office in turn until he came upon them. Dik had been prepared to cover up, but before he could answer Folklore's question as to the whereabouts of his missing staff, Grey had replied that they had all reported sick and he shouldn't wonder if they had gone to interviews for other jobs.
"And that" he observed with a wry smile "is just not the sort of thing that you say to the old buzzard!"
"Fortunately, the truth often being stranger than fiction, he thinks that you must have been on some lesser scive like going off to the races together and if I were you, I wouldn't disillusion him" he concluded.
Dave went immediately into the office to find that it was empty, sat down and hastily scrawled a note on a piece of paper, slipped it into an envelope and addressed it to Pat, Mike, Peddle and Thomas. He went to the lab, found Little Mike and despatched him to deliver the message to each in turn. He then made off into the main stores to hide for half an hour.
Little Mike found Peddle first who opened the envelope and read
'Conference. 9.30 catalyst room toilet. Avoid Folklore at all cost.'
He smiled, "tell him I'll be there."
Thomas was the last to receive the message. "Tell him OK" he said as he got up to leave the office, promptly colliding with Folklore who was just entering. Thomas recovered first "I must see the Safety Committee about that doorway. The number of times people walk into this office it amazes me that nobody's been killed" and before an astonished Folklore could draw breath, he had gone.
The five of them crowded into the grimy toilet and Dave shot the bolt before seating himself on the throne. "Chairman's privelige" he observed drily.
"I thought it wise to convene a meeting" he continued, "first to concoct a cover story to explain our absences yesterday, which Folklore happened to notice, and second to compare notes about Monsanto."
"Second is easy" replied Thomas. "They've offered me a job and so I couldn't give a monkey's about the first!"
For several seconds there was dead silence, broken at last when Peddle pulled the chain, which was the only thing he could think of to do which was adequate to the depth of his emotions.
"They wanted a man on the production side and it seems that I was the only applicant with the right experience" he continued "so they offered it to me on the spot.12 000 dollars a month and passage paid."
"When do you leave?"
"I was just writing out my notice when I had your message."
"Will you hold it until after lunch, because they'll give you the Bum's Rush the minute they find out and we shan't get in the customary booze-up?"
"I take it you've got all the information you need about the Project?" enquired Pat.
"They're not interested. It seems that they gleaned enough from the rest of you to decide that it wasn't worth bothering with."
Dave held up his hand for silence. "As the main business is concluded and I think that Folklore will forget all about our absences yesterday when he hears Thomas's news and also Dan is hopping from foot to foot outside, I declare this meeting adjourned and to be reconvened at the 'Goat and Compasses' at lunchtime when Thomas will be in the Chair. Meantime, I suggest that we keep out of the way of the Old Bastard!"
On the way back to the offices, Dave drew Peddle to one side. "What do you make of that business about the Canadians not being interested?"
Peddle grinned "after I had got over the shock of meeting you, I came to the conclusion that it would be most unhealthy for those of us left behind, as well as dodgy for anyone they exported in order to milk for information about the Project, so I let them extract a lo
t of confidential details from me, most of which happen to be quite untrue and at the same time would put them off. Seems that it worked!"
"How much does he know?" persisted Dave.
"Very little. Certainly not enough for them to see through my little fabrications. If this Company paid me half what I am really worth, I would be a very rich man!" he sighed and Dave made a mental note to buy him a large gin and tonic at lunchtime.
They managed to persuade Grey to come to the pub with them, loosening his tongue with a light-and-bitter. "Sir is a bit annoyed about your disappearance yesterday" he confided "but he is basically confident of your loyalty and he thinks that you all just happened to have an unofficial day off at the same time. He will be surprised when he learns that Thomas has got another job, but as he doesn't directly work for him (Thomas came under Pike) he will take the view that it's none of his business. There's only one person he doesn't trust and that's Peddle - if it was up to Folklore, he'd get rid of him!"