Chapter 11: Decision
The next morning after a sleepless night, Neste rose determined to make her decision. She wanted to discuss options with someone, but couldn’t decided who to ask. Mum would tell her to follow her heart. Some of her thoughts were her own, but some reflected the wishes of others. Discerning which were which made decisions difficult right now. Glynis would be no better. She would just disagree with whatever Neste said. She needed to find someone impartial.
Neste walked into town, her leg aching more than usual, to the apothecary’s shop in a side lane off the main circle around the fountain. Inside, surrounded by dusty bottles and leather bound books, Kenn greeted Neste with a warm expression. Neste’s own grim smile raised his eyebrows.
“Can I ask you about healing?” she asked. Kenn waited, giving her an encouraging nod. “It must be rewarding.”
“Yes, but it has its difficult days too. What do you really want to know, Neste?”
She hesitated then picked up a dusty jar from the counter. “Do you have to do a lot of reading so you know how to help people?”
“You learn what people want. In a small town like Tremeirchson, there’s not much variety in my cases.” Kenn gently took the bottle from her and held it up. “Most often the girls want love potions.” He set the potion on a shelf.
“Love potions? That doesn’t seem very rewarding.” Neste trailed a finger along the edge of the counter. “What would your apprentice have to do? Would you consider a woman?”
“A woman? Neste, are you thinking about becoming a healer? You’d be a good one. You already do more than you realize, and riders from every barn respect your ability with the winged horses. It’s hard for a woman though.” Neste made a face. “Na, a woman can do the job, but the hours are long. Your time would belong to your patients, not a husband, not children. I would not apprentice you for that reason.”
Neste nodded. “And if I really want it?”
“Healing is a gift, and you have it. Anything I can do to help, just ask. You can be a good healer, a help to your barn, even without being apprenticed.”
“Diolch, Kenn. I haven’t made my decision yet, but thank you for your honest words.”
Neste left the shop warm with Kenn’s praise. She looked up the lane away from the fountain toward the blacksmith shop. Impulsively, she decided to visit her youngest brother, apprenticed four years ago at the age of ten. Neste had only seen him a few times since. Cadoc didn’t get away to visit family, and she’d mostly been in the barn. She remembered him as a sweet boy with soft curls and chubby cheeks. At fourteen, he probably no longer had either.
The blacksmith shop rang with the pounding of metal. Neste could hear it long before she arrived. She paused at the doorway. Dark with soot and smoke, the stone walls enclosed the massive hearth. In the fireplace a ferocious fire roared. The blacksmith, wearing a leather apron, dominated his shop. Muscles bulged past rolled up shirt sleeves as he swung a hammer Neste wouldn’t even be able to lift. Sweat ran off his brow.
In a corner behind him, a young man rendered nails at an old anvil. Startled, Neste recognized Cadoc. He spotted her about the same time and froze. Chubby cheeks had given way to angles, but he still had his curls. He stood, and Neste marveled at his height and the muscles his trade had given him.
“Neste? Is something wrong?” His face twisted in fear. “Is it Mum?”
“Na, na. Mum’s fine.” She wondered if losing Llawen counted as something wrong. He must have heard. As an apprentice, though, maybe his master wouldn’t let him leave. “Can you talk for a bit?”
Cadoc’s eyes went to his master, who nodded. Her brother set down his hammer and came to the doorway. “I have a very short break, Neste. What is it?”
“You’ve grown so much.” Neste winced as his lips tightened. No, she wasn’t going to waste her precious time. “I’m sorry. That’s not what I came to say.” She looked around the shop once more. “Is this working for you?”
“It’s my life.”
“But is it your passion? Does working with iron fill your dreams?”
“Can you say what you came to say? I must make a full box of nails for a customer to pick up today.” Impatience showed in his face.
“I’m sorry,” Neste said again. “You heard about my accident?” Her brother nodded. “Da decided I would be a rider. I loved it, but now I need to make other plans. I thought dreams filled me. Now I’m empty. I like to help people who are ill or injured, does that make me earth?”
Her brother stared. “I haven’t talked to you in four years. Before that I was just a baby. What did I know of adult dreams?” He laughed. “Right now you seem like a water person, flowing from person to person waiting for someone to make decisions for you. Maybe you should run away and become a bard that travels from town to town.” He chuckled at his own joke.
Stung, Neste nodded. “You can get back to work.” She watched as he returned to the stump in the corner with his hammer and stack of iron rod that would soon be nails. He was a stranger.
She left the shop and headed to the fountain. Her other brother Aidan stood beside Aer, the stone horse representing air. Her brother’s eyes fastened on her. He clearly intended to speak with her even though he hadn’t done so since he became a rider a year ago. She approached cautiously in case this brother wanted to wound her, too.
“Neste, I’m glad I found you.” Concern flared in his eyes.
At seventeen, Aidan looked like a younger version of their father. Neste’s heart twisted. She remembered her father as a happy man. He had held her hand and raced up the hill to watch the winged horses fly in competition or in drill. He played with her, running across the hill, pretending to fly. All her memories of him were happy. She swallowed hard and smiled at Aidan.
“I’m sorry I didn’t visit you earlier,” he said, his words rushing out. “I can’t imagine your pain. But we’re family and I should have been there to support you.”
Neste nodded. “Diolch Aidan, it means a lot that you say that even now.” She looked at her father’s green eyes and wispy brown hair. “You look so much like Da.” Oh she hadn’t meant to say that. He’d think she was an idiot.
Aidan frowned. Neste hurried on. “I’m sorry.” Change the subject. “You did very well in the Aerial Games. Your barn leader must be proud.”
“Da wasn’t perfect, you know. You were his favorite so you didn’t see it. Can’t you realize that now? He planned all our lives to his dream, not ours.”
“What would you rather do?” Neste asked, shocked.
“Not me. I’m a rider. Cadoc and Niall, though, never had a choice. Neither did you.”
“Aidan, what are you saying? Da tried to watch out for us.” Neste tried to keep defensiveness out of her voice.
“And he did pretty well. You and Niall suffered, though. That’s why Niall ran away. He didn’t want to be apprenticed to Kenn like Da wanted. I know you loved Llawen, but you’re more than just a rider. You have other abilities. You can heal, and you stay calm even in tough situations.”
She’d always thought herself to be air. As a child she loved watching the flying horses, but she’d never really longed for the air as Elen had. What memories she had of her early dreams were more about nurturing the horse than flying. Neste thought about the other areas of her life. She wanted to marry Hoel and have children, wanted to nurture them and watch them grow. Those were earth traits. “So what would you have me do?” she asked sharply.
He ignored her and walked around the fountain looking at all three stone horses. “Air, the symbol of dreams, is where I belong. You don’t.”
“What about Llawen?”
“You don’t have to be a rider to have dreams.” He placed a hand on the smooth gray flank of Alon, the water horse. “Water people are flexible.”
“Iawn, so flexible sometimes they have no spine,” Neste scoffed.
“Yet you went along with Da’s wishes, and now you follow Hoel.”
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Neste’s eyes dropped to the water in the fountain basin. The drops falling from Aer’s mouth rippled until the rings overlapped the ripples from Alon’s stream. Water had always been the weakest element, at least in Neste’s mind. “Do you think I’m weak?”
“You are one of the strongest people I know.” He completed his circle and stood in front of Ystrad, the earth horse. “Healing is a form of nurturing.”
Neste thought of Glynis, the caring one, the very definition of earth. And she didn’t want to be like her sister. “Glynis is the earth person in the family.”
Aidan gestured to the fire-topped pillar that rose above the three stone horses. “Glynis is too much earth. She never dreams and has never made an impetuous decision in her life. The flame is passion, but it needs to stay under control.”
Suddenly Neste understood. A flame needed air and wood from the earth, and could always be extinguished by water. Too much air, too much earth, or too much water could kill it. On the other hand, a fire out of control could destroy.
“Hoel is too much air,” she said, stroking Aer’s white stone flank. “He’d be a better leader if he could nurture his riders a bit, and if he wasn’t so jealous.” She looked at Aidan with new eyes. He was too much air, her mother had said.
Aidan smiled. “And Niall is more water than air.”
“He never knew what he wanted,” Neste agreed. Her brother had gone off to Merioneth following a lord with no clear idea of his future. Since then he’d held three different jobs. Did he really have any dreams of his own any more?
“The strongest person is a balance of all three,”Aidan said softly. “People who are strong in one element are the people who stand out. They’re also the ones who cause problems.”
“Balance is what we all strive for,” Neste said, repeating words her mother had said over and over during her life.
Aidan hugged her. “You’ll do the right thing. It will be the best for you and for those around you because that is how you’re made. Have confidence, Neste. Be strong. Be balanced.”
“Diolch, brawd.” Neste thanked her brother and hugged him back.
He squeezed her arm and headed back to his barn. Neste watched him go, marveling at how smart her younger brother had grown.
With a skip in her step, she walked back to Marc’s barn, her path clear.
Neste peeked into the first stall, which belonged to Marc’s winged stallion. The barn leader stood there with his forehead pressed against the horse’s neck. He murmured to the horse and stroked its flank. Neste turned away, not wanting to interrupt a private moment, but Marc saw her.
“Neste, are you looking for me?” He left the stall and leaned against the wall of the barn, looking at her expectantly.
“I am honored that you offered Mallt to me, syr, but I can’t accept her. I hope you consider Robyn as her rider.” Certain about her decision, she still twisted her hands anxiously waiting for his reply.
To her surprise, he smiled. “I didn’t think you would, but I had to offer. You will stay around the barn.”
He had not asked, nor had he demanded. “I will. I’d like to heal your horses and riders.”
Marc’s eyes searched her face. Neste met his gaze, and he nodded. “You will speak with Hoel?” he asked.
“Iawn, syr.” She agreed and walked down the barn, not sparing a glance for the empty stall where her heart once lived.
Hoel must be flying since Lleu’s stall was empty. Neste continued out of the barn and limped up the grassy hill. She leaned back, letting her chestnut hair stream loose as if pulling her head to the ground. Face to the sky, eyes closed, she soared with Llawen. With a smile and a sigh, she let go of the sensation and opened her eyes to search the sky for Lleu. When she spotted him, she waved. Hoel directed the stallion to dip a wing in response.
Lleu circled the hill once, then landed near Neste. She waited for Hoel to dismount and remove his helmet. A smile grew from her heart and beamed from her face, but Hoel approached her hesitantly, clutching the helmet in his hand.
“Did you have a good flight?” she asked.
His eyes searched hers. “Just using up some energy and stretching muscles. It’s a beautiful day.”
“It is.” She smiled. He was discussing the weather. He must not know what else to say. She stood facing him, her heart sure but her words uncertain.
“I’m thinking about the group dance. With you replacing Adam at the top of the formation, I think it will be stronger next year. Who do you think has the skill to hold that bottom position?”
“Hoel, I refused Mallt.” Neste reached out a hand to take one of his.
“Refused Mallt? Why would you do that?” Confusion laced his words, and his eyes showed his hurt.
“I would love to perfect that dance with you, cariad, but it’s not to be. My heart is not in the sky.”
He hesitated, then asked in a dead tone, “And where is your heart, then?”
She leaned in and smiled. “With you. I want to be your wife, your helpmate. I will heal the horses and riders in your barn. I will support your leadership.” She took both his hands in hers. “I will love you all my days.” She held her breath. They’d never discussed love, only partnership.
“You love me?” He sounded incredulous.
She laughed. “Is that so hard to believe? Everyone would love you if they knew you like I do. You care deeply about the success of your horses. I can help you show that care to the riders, too. Your dream is a good one, Hoel. You don’t always communicate that clearly to those around you, but you can learn.”
Now he smiled, too. “Together we will lead the best barn in Tremeirchson.”
“I will share your dreams, nurture your riders and our children, and support your decisions.”
“And I will love and honor you all my days,” he vowed, taking her in his arms and kissing the top of her head.
Neste lay her head on his chest, the wool of his tunic rubbing her cheek, and was content. Over the barns toward the fountain, winged horses cavorted in the sky. On the ground, she knew, riders and grooms relaxed in the light duties that followed an Aerial Games. Next year, Mallt would have a new rider and two new horses would be preparing for the Games. Hoel would yell, and she would remind him to be gentle. They would marry and children would be born. Somehow she’d convince him to let her remain friends with Elen. He’d become leader and victories would come. The world belonged to them as long as they worked together.
About the Author
Linda Ulleseit was born and raised in Saratoga, California. She currently lives in the Evergreen area of San Jose with her husband. They have two adult sons and two yellow Labradors. She enjoys cooking, cross-stitching, reading, and spending time with her family.
Linda is a sixth grade teacher at James Franklin Smith Elementary School, where her students are some of the early reviewers of her books. She loves teaching writing and has published several anthologies of student work. Her students get a lot of practice scribbling stories and essays. Someday Linda hopes to see books written by former students alongside hers in bookstores or online bestseller lists.
As a child, Linda always loved to write. She took her first creative writing course in seventh grade, accumulating a closet full of stories that she never showed anyone until 2007. At that time, she gave the first draft of a flying horse book to a teacher colleague to read.
Her first novel, ON A WING AND A DARE, was published in 2012. It is a Young Adult fantasy set in medieval Wales, complete with flying horses, a love triangle, and treachery. It’s sequel, IN THE WINDS OF DANGER, was released in March, 2013. Both books are available on Amazon The third book in the trilogy, UNDER A WILD AND DARKENING SKY, is planned for Fall 2014.
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[email protected] Continue Neste and Hoel’s story in ON A WING AND A DARE:
Chapter 1: Fanfare (partial)
“Rhys is listless, not eating…” Neste’s voice trailed off as the winged colt collapsed like an empty burlap sack.
Emma dropped to the floor, heedless of her skirts, and cradled Rhys’s head. The glow of early dawn helped the flickering lantern illuminate the stall.
“Mum?” she asked. “What’s wrong with him?”
“He’s fevered. Try giving him some water.”
“Iawn, del,” Emma murmured in Welsh as she dribbled a handful of liquid into Rhys’s mouth.
“Water balances fever, but it’s not enough. Maybe the mare’s milk…” Neste broke off. “Emma, don’t risk angering your father today of all days. I’ll care for Rhys. Go.”
“Da won’t notice I’m not there.”
“Cariad, you’re sixteen. Time to take over your responsibilities to the barn and the family.”
Emma reluctantly laid the colt’s head on the straw and rose. “Send a groom if you need me.”
Her mother nodded, reaching to fold the colt’s stubby wings.
Outside the sanctuary of Rhys’s stall, the rest of the barn came alive as the sun rose and the winged horses began taking flight. Riders and grooms scurried forth clad in blue and silver barn colors. For her father it was all about the glory of the barn, and to Rhiannon’s Fire with everything else. Da cared more about winning the Aerial Games than about sick colts, or his daughter. Emma couldn’t deal with him right now. She slipped away from the barn and headed for her best friends, Davyd and Evan, the sons of Da’s biggest rival.
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