Chapter 2
This is how our marriage was fixed up, and we were given sufficient time to know each other in our courtship period. It was long, long hours of chatting, never ending phone calls. We lost track of time I was just obsessed with Rohit. Every time mum inquired of his nature, I sang laurels in his praise. “Thanks mum, for finding the man of my dreams.” I hugged her tight and conveyed my gratitude.
“Sweet heart, all that we wanted was your happiness. I can see that on your face.” Then she added, “ I know that family for years, they are very good people, and I have no doubts of your future happiness. Another two months to go and then the marriage. Then you will be going to your new home and start a fresh life. Dad is already on the job. We have plenty of preliminary work to be done. You have to accompany me and select dresses and jewelry of your choice. Now no more lengthy conversations and chats. Baby there is hardly any time left. These two months will just fly off.”
I felt like telling her, mum time seems to be dragging too slow, I want to meet Rohit soon. But I hesitated and held back my words. Finally we became so busy in shopping that time just flew away and only a week was left for that auspicious wedding day. Mum had called her sister, a week earlier, to help her in all the arrangements. She also appeared nervous and exhausted at times.
This nervousness was transferred into me also. I now realized that I would leave my own house in a week’s time and go away from my dear loving parents and my little brother. The thought of it made me frenzy and depressed. One might, I lay cuddled on my bed wrapped up in my favorite pink blanket, when mum tiptoed into my room to plant a goodnight kiss on my forehead. When she was done, she swirled around to leave; I just caught hold of her hand and pulled her towards my bed nearly toppling her on myself.
“Oh! Baby, were you still awake? I just came to say good night.”She whispered “.Mum can you sleep with me today?” I requested her.
“Of course, I would love to be with my darling as long as she wants me to be,”was her reply.
I got carried away by emotions and said, “Mum I don’t want to leave you. I want to be with you all my life.” She immediately kept a finger on my lips and pursed them tight, “No sweety, don’t say that; after marriage we all have to go to our new homes and find happiness there. This is a rule of nature. When I entered this house as a bride, it was a small little two bedroom and a living room flat. At times I felt crammed, with hardly any space to breath. The love and happiness which I got from the family compensated for it all. Gradually with expansion of dad’s business the space expanded too. This is the house where you and your brother Raj were born. God is great, just have faith in Him.”
After a short pause she added, “When you enter your new home, your in-laws will be your parents. The more you love and respect them, the more they will reciprocate with double the amount of affection and care for you. My sweet little girl, our blessings are always with you. May you be blessed with all the goodness, and your joys like the stars at night, be numerous to count. I am sure your victories of life will be more abundant than the grains of sand on all the beaches. Riches and abundance will be your constant companions, and if at all there is lack and struggle, it will make you stronger. May all your doubts and fear be replaced by a deep abiding trust? You will always observe evidence of a higher power all around you whenever there is darkness, and the Eternal Light will illuminate your path. Always remember that you are loved beyond measure and just be willing to return the same love unconditionally.”
“ You will always feel protected and cradled in the arms of God, who is the real father to all. Just be strong and take our blessings with you.” With these soft words she put me off to sleep and closed the door behind her.
Our shopping list was almost complete. There were plenty of jewelry items as gifts for their family. A beautiful solitaire diamond ring was chosen for Rohit, as the engagement ring. My diamond sets were exclusively chosen by Dad who had a crucial eye for all gem stones. “Mum you don’t need to give so many gifts,” I had argued, seeing the aggressive mode of her shopping.
“Babe, you don’t have to tax your brains on this subject; just relax, go to the parlor daily and get soothing herbal massages done. It will bring a fresh glow in your body. All which God has given us is ultimately for you and your brother. We will be happy to see you happy.”
Hotel Taj was booked as the venue for the marriage. All the guests were to stay in the same hotel. Even we were to shift for three days to Taj for the sake of convenience. Mum appeared to be very organized in all these arrangements. “Mum, I hope you haven’t forgotten my new toiletries.”
She gave a sweet smile and said, “No darling, everything has been taken care of.”I was so mighty impressed with her and my next question sounded silly even in my own ears, “Mum, will I be able to get as organized when I am your age?” She just hugged me hard and replied, “There is lots of time for that. Everything comes with time.”
Finally the big day arrived. Taj palace appeared more beautiful than ever before. There was so much of hustle bustle all around. The rituals were to begin with the menhdi (henna) ceremony. The hall for this function had all henna color décor. The tapestry covers on sofas and chairs, to curtains and even the lights flooding the room from high up chandeliers were reflecting a greenish henna illumination in the hall.
We, the girl’s family sat on one side of the hall and Rohit’s family along with all their relatives on the opposite side of the hall. All were dressed in the traditional Indian dresses, very colorful and richly embroidered. Multiple henna experts worked to form different designs on every hand. Music and dance was an ongoing program, with me in the center of the hall. My henna designer expert was the best of them all. He made me sit in a very comfortable posture and started making fine designs right from my elbows to the palms. Then from ankles to the toes. He asked me to locate Rohit's name which he had printed somewhere in the Picasso design, and softly whispered, “when you can’t locate it, he will also fail.” Then pointing with his index he demarked it for me.
The best part of the function was that all ladies were having wet henna designed hands and were not able to use them. So they were to be fed each morsel of food by their better halves. Everyone enjoyed, danced till exhausted.
The second day was the ring ceremony. The same hall with a different and grandeur appeared a new place altogether. It was a sky blue color them; so it gave the look as if the sky has descended down to earth and was mottled with twinkling lights. All the guests were aghast seeing the arrangements. I wore a rich heavy brocade saree, matching the light blue theme color of the décor. My diamond jewelry shone like the moon amidst the stars.
Rohit was in a navy blue suit, a stripe light blue tie, in a sparkling white shirt. He looked very smart and handsome. There we stood, facing each other momentarily lost in mutual admiration. Then our rings were exchanged, clapping and congrats resonated in the atmosphere. Dance was initiated by Rohit and me accompanied by all others. After a sumptuous dinner it was nearly mid-night when all dispersed.
Now was the most auspicious and important ritual of the wedding day. A very soft and serene atmosphere was created, with a melodious soft shehnai (music). Before leaving my room, I passed a final glance at myself in the mirror. Draped in a rose pink lengha dress with a rich brocade net veil, loaded with gold and diamond Jewelry. My henna designed hands wore latest desig
n glittering diamonds, ruby and emerald rings, bangles and my feet tinkled with the jingling sound of beautiful tiny bells in the anklets. I really mistook myself for a princess. I felt a soft loving hand on my shoulder and a whisper in my ear, “Mirror oh mirror who is the most beautiful lady on earth.” It was mum’s excited voice. A prompt loud reply by my dad standing behind her came with great pride, “Asha, Asha and Asha of course.”
When I swirled around both hugged me together transmitting a wave of love and affection never experienced before. Then dad said, “Hurry Sweety, they are all waiting for you.” Finally both escorted me to the hall where the entire ceremony was to be held. My little brother Raj followed us holding my long dangling veil and found for himself the important position of the bride’s companion.
All eyebrows were raised to capture a glimpse of the bride. My head down, lashes drooping, taking dainty steps to the stage where Rohit was eagerly waiting for me. He moved a few steps down and extended his hand to escort me up to the stage. My parents let go, and handed me over to, him. With a warm grip of his hand, I felt more confident and secure. I sat on the cushioned sofa next to him.
After this started the lengthy process of all the rituals. Jai mal the initial performance in which there was exchange of thick floral garlands. Our parents sat by our side to perform all the rituals around the holy fire which is considered a witness to the vows we were to make to each other. All mantras were chanted in Sanskrit and then translated in simple Hindi so that we could grasp the meaning clearly and make it a virtue for the entire life. WE took all the vows together and promised to abide by them at every step of life.
The priest emphasized that the basis of a happy and fulfilling married life is a sense of unity intimacy and love between the husband and wife, not only physically and mentally but morally also. It is not for self-indulgence but should be considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. It is an opportunity for two life partners to become soul mates.
Then the priest asked me and Rohit to repeat loudly all the vows after him. “We shall be two bodies and one mind. We shall share all our happiness and grief together. I am yours and cannot live without you hereafter. Shall stay together till death shall part us.”
The seven steps that we moved together around the sacred fire were all promises made by the groom to bless his wife with food, strength, piety, health, wealth, comfort and progeny. Finally Rohit pronounced the last vow in a loud clear voice, “You are now my dearest friend and I pledge my unfailing loyalty to you. May you gain worldly and spiritual wealth and all auspiciousness in your life?”
In an extremely explicit manner all the rituals were completed and congrats conveyed from both the families. The aroma was attracting all the guests to the sumptuous dinner waiting. Every ones mouth was watering and rushed the dining hall.
Finally came the moment of separation from my beloved ones. Mum was putting all efforts to hold back her flood of tears when she hugged me good bye. “Darling, we will miss you a lot; you just look forward to your new life. Our blessings are with you, love and respect everyone and get lots of love in return.” Then holding Reena’s hand she said, “I am handing over the most precious part of me to you, I know you will fully replace me and she will not miss her mother at all.” Reena held her hand tight in a positive assurance.
On the back seat of our Mercedes I sat with Rohit, my gaze fixed on my parents and my little brother who had clung to me hard and said, “no, don’t leave me alone, who’s going to play with me, make me complete my homework and scold me if I am late for school.”
As the car moved out of the wrought iron front gate of our mansion, I gave a last glance to my sweet home. I was born and brought up here, my room full of my childhood doll houses and Barbie dolls and all my musical instruments was abandoned by me in a fraction of a second. Tears rolling down my cheeks washed away most of my eye makeup. Rohit wrapped his arm around my neck, drew me closer to him softly whispering in my ear, “My love will wash away all the memories of the past.”
After hugging me hard mum had handed to me a sealed envelope and said, “This is a special gift from me. Open it on your way to the airport.”
“Why a separate gift from you, mum, after giving me so much?” I had queried. She just put the envelope in my purse and smiled. I wondered what was so special in that envelope, so I opened it to satisfy myself. It contained air tickets to Switzerland, my passport and our hotel stay papers. A paper with mums writing read, “Have a wonderful honeymoon trip.” Love mum. I was so emotionally touched by mum’s gesture and felt a bit excited at the thought of a trip to Switzerland.
Throughout the two hour air journey from Mumbai to Lucknow, I recapitulated my past in my mother’s tender care, and dozed off to be awakened by the pressure changes in my ears at the time of descend. I still remember how I used to howl at the descend of the flight when I was little child. Gradually it had waned off.