Chapter 7
Then came the happiest day of my life. Aman was awarded a scholarship in his college to go and complete his masters in USA. This certainly was the happiest moment of my life. My efforts had finally succeeded, and my son at the age of eighteen would go abroad for higher studies. I immediately called up mum to give her the good news. The excitement spoke in my tone, “Mum can you believe it; Aman has topped in college and will get a good scholarship for higher studies abroad.”
There was a long silent pause on the other end. Then mum congratulated me in a very dull tone and said, “Asha dear, it’s certainly good news, but how can you even think of letting him go. What about you? How do you even dream of living alone without him? He has been like your shadow, and the two of you can’t be separated.”
I was literally aghast at this remark and added, “Mum I was waiting for him to achieve something in life, and this is his first success, and certainly I will not put any hindrance in his future goals.” Then I added in a subdued tone, “Mum I have got used to a lonely life, so let him go and build a bright future for himself, please don’t push me into selfishness.”
“How did you think that I will be so selfish and leave you alone in solitude and go in search of a bright future for myself?” I swirled around to see Aman standing at the door step. I was completely oblivious about his entry into the house. I just ran to hug him, gave him a congratulatory kiss and said, “You just can’t imagine how happy I am on your achievement.”
“I know mum, who else but you will be happy for this, but I can always stay back in India and study, so just forget about my leaving you alone and going abroad for higher education.” I kept my index finger on his lips and pursed them tight saying, “These are lifetime opportunities which knock on your door once only, so grab them and don’t let them go. I am busy in my work, so where is the time to feel lonely.”
He held my hand tight, led me to the sofa and sat down beside me. “Mum I have been watching you from the time I grew up into adolescence. I have felt the depth of your loneliness, you have lived all these fourteen years only for me, I tried my very best to grow up to your expectations, making all efforts not to hurt you even a nano bit.”
Then he became very serious in his talk and said, “I was waiting for an opportunity to discuss with you, something concerning just your life and not mine. Mum if you decide to remarry, I may be in a position to leave you and pursue my studies.” I snapped him, “Aman, you are still a child and these matters are not to be discussed by children. You are ignorant about everything.”
“No mum, I’m not as childish as you think me to be. I have been told everything by Raj uncle. I even know the reason for your apathy for marriage. But believe me all men are not alike. There is someone who has been watching you, your nature, your character and your aloofness for the past fourteen years. He has been decent enough, not to talk with on this subject. These are the people who don’t have to boast of their character.” Then he smiled and hugging me said, “He even knows those two persons who had a crush on you in your office, and how you maintained your aloofness and just ignored them.”
I stared at him and articulated, “ Aman, you have grown so big and I didn’t even notice it. Son, I have closed this chapter and it’s a no in capital letters.” I was surprised by the maturity and seriousness of his talks, and intervened, “by the way whom are you talking about?”
“ Your boss, Mr.Sumit. I am sure you know that he is a distant relative of Mona aunty. He is a widower. He lost his wife in a road accident just two years after their marriage. They were madly in love with each other. Her death came as a big shock for him. He too had decided never to marry again. Years passed and all the pressure from his parents failed to make him agree for remarriage. Mum in the recent past Mona’s mum has convinced him, and he has admitted his inclination to your sober and strong character, I think you should give a serious thought to this matter.” Then he added, “Grandma is coming tomorrow and we will discuss it with them.”
It was a sleepless night for me. The curtain which I had drawn years ago over my past seemed to draw open. The past which I had erased out of my memory book seemed to open page by page. The memories of the past seeped into my thoughts threatening my composure. I vividly remembered mama calling me on Aman’s birthday, to wish him then gradually these gaps became longer. I thought she might have become busy in her smaller grandchildren, and forgotten Aman, and not very keen to find further details. After his initial request for a legal divorce, which I had refused, Rohit had vanished and it was a gone and forgotten case.
I could not even dream of starting a new chapter of moving divorce issue after a lapse of fourteen years. I felt very dull and sultry the next morning, but there was so much work to be done. Aman’s friends were coming for lunch. My parents, Mona‘s family were coming too. So I quickly set to work. Mum called me, “Asha I am bringing packed lunch for twenty five people, so don’t get panicky. There is a special guest coming with us so just relax.” Before I could ask about the guest she had disconnected the phone. I thought it must be some family friend.
Mum and dad reached it noon. Their greetings for Aman lasted for quite some time, and then all other guests poured in one after another. To my surprise, Mona her mum and children came along with Sumit. Aunty introduced him to me as, “Meet my nephew Sumit,” He smiled softly, and said, “We are working in the same office, Aunty. It was Aman who pressurized me to join in the celebration.”
I fumbled for words, never before had I felt so embarrassed. “Welcome, sir. ”I greeted him softly. Then we all settled down, chatting away in their group.
“So Aman, when are you planning to go to US?”Was Sumit’s query. “No, uncle, I am thinking of continuing my education in India only due to some personal reasons ”Was the cool reply from Aman? All stared at him in surprise.
It was an involuntary remark which spurted out from me, “No way he is surely going in two months’ time,” Mum stared at me and said, “how fair will it be to leave you alone and go out for studies? We will discuss it after lunch.”After a great sumptuous lunch, desert and coffee, everyone left, except my parents.
Then dad took out an envelope from his coat and handed over to Aman, “get the papers signed and send them back to me. I’ll take care of the rest of it.” They must be his visa papers I thought and got to cleaning up the table.
When all had left, Aman and I were relaxing after a hectic day and I enquired, “what were those papers that dad gave you?”
He brought the envelope and handed it to me saying, “You have to sign them and I’ll send them back to grandpa.” I opened the envelope, with eyes wide open, I stared at him and banged the papers on the table, in an irritable gesture and said, “Why do you people want to invite trouble for me?”
Aman said in a very cool tone, “Mum, I am eighteen now, so he can’t keep that clause also before you, regarding my custody, So please take a sensible step and get done with it as soon as possible.”
We were still in the middle of the talk when his phone rang and showed an unknown number. I heard him say “yes, who’s this?”
The voice on the speaker was clearly audible, “Hey! Son, congrats, saw your name with photo in the newspaper. You’ve done an excellent
job.”
Aman's voice was cool but puzzled, raising a brow he replied, “Do I know you? Thanks anyway.” And disconnected the phone. He may not have known the person but I knew it was his father. My face became blanched, beads of sparkling sweat appeared on my forehead, hands became cold and clammy, and I could hear my heart thumping. My head was pounding; I did not take even a Nano second to recognize that voice which I had heard after ages. I just kept quiet showing to be ignorant, about the familiar voice.
My life which was peaceful for all these years suddenly became turbulent, and restless. All my healed wounds became painful and my dry eyes brimmed again, all my efforts to control their overflow failed, and tears rolled down my cheeks. I was standing on a bifurcated road, not able to decide which route to pursue. It made feel as if I was on a cliff and would fall off at any moment.
One of the roads was illuminated taking me to a new start of my life and my son to a bright future in the west. The other road was more rugged, lengthy and dark with no end. My intention of not granting a divorce was that I would never marry because of my son. Now my son himself is persuading me for remarriage because he does not want to see me lonely anymore.