Sterling, Nolan, C.J., and even my father had warmed up to one another. My husband seemed a little bit freaked out from all the attention, yet he didn’t make any moves to get away. However, my mom and I had our eyes on the same duo, who didn’t seem happy at all.
I watched Damian play with his food, and he usually loved chicken. Across the table from him, Uncle Cooper stared at the wall, not saying anything. Something was going to have to be done. I had as much patience as anyone in my family, which meant I didn’t have very much at all.
I rose slowly and walked over to Damian. “I think I had too much wine. Take a walk with me?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Should you be drinking when you’re already feeling sick?”
“Probably not. But what’s done is done,” I outright lied to him. The wine had helped settle the discomfort. Still, anything short of I don’t feel well, Damian would have kept him in his seat. Leaving now, when he was clearly in some kind of silent standoff with my uncle, would be a sign of weakness in Damian’s eyes. I had no tolerance for game playing.
My mother leaned across the table and said, loudly enough that I heard her even as Damian and I left the room, “Who wants to tell me why you’re all beaten up?”
I smiled and squeezed Damian’s hand. He needed air and to talk about what being around Cooper was doing to him. I needed him to work this out.
“You don’t seem drunk.” The bunker had the same lighting system all our ships did. Right then, it looked like nighttime, as though the moon shined on us even though we were well below ground.
I kissed his arm. “Have you ever seen me drunk?”
“No, actually.” He shook his head.
“Then how would you know? Maybe this is drunk.”
A touch of a smile crossed his lips. “True.”
“I thought you could use a walk.”
“Ah, so she admits to deception. That’s okay. Yes, I needed one.” He leaned against a storefront. The more time I spent here, the more it resembled Mars Station. Someone had really taken some time building this place into a home.
“Here’s the thing, Diana.” Damian shook his head. “I get why he did it. I never did before. I always resented the fuck out of him, blamed him. But I jumped on Artemis to come for you, and I knew there was a giant chance you were dead. She’s his life. And I have nothing to say to him. He’s my uncle. What am I supposed to do with that? Cooper, the missing prince who left when it got tough. I’d have done the same thing.”
“That was really difficult to live with for a long time.” Cooper’s voice rang out in the empty hallway, making both Damian and I jump. “If it had been up to me, just me taking care of myself, I would have stayed. Except I had Melissa and I had Diana.” He stopped walking when he reached us. “She’s not my daughter, which is good for your sake, Damian, considering you two could not be together otherwise. But she belonged to me the same way she did to the rest of them. You know that, don’t you, girl?”
He waited for my answer, which meant even though I’d been stunned silent by an effusive Cooper, I had to give him one. “I know you all felt responsible for me.”
“Yeah, see? I knew you thought something like that. Nonsense. We all lived and died for you and still would. You’re ours. Different than your brothers and sisters. I couldn’t love Asher more than you just because he’s my flesh and blood. We didn’t know what we were doing with you. Every mistake we ever made was because we were new at it. But know this and know it well, no one has ever been loved more than you, Diana.”
Sometimes there aren’t words to express things enough, and sometimes there are. “I love you, Cooper. All of you. I never felt enough. That’s not true anymore.”
“Glad to hear it. Come with me Damian.”
Damian’s mouth fell open. “I’m good here.”
“She’ll wait for you in her room. Come on, kid. We’ve got things to say.”
My husband dropped my hand. “I guess I’ll be back.”
“Okay. I’ll, ah, wait for you in my room. Wake me if I’m asleep.”
Damian kissed me lightly on the lips. “Count on it.”
Whatever was going to happen between them, I guessed there wasn’t anything for me to do but wait and hear about it. Later. In my room. Where Cooper had told me to go. When was the last time they’d sent me to my room?
Luckily for all of them, I was good at following directions.
CHAPTER TEN
Stars
I really did mean to go to bed. I was still feeling nauseous, and it had been a long couple of days. But when I got closer to my room, I found Asher waiting for me. I smiled.
“You okay?”
Asher was my brother closest in age to me. That still meant there were almost nine years between us. I had saved him by shoving him into a pod and jettisoning him from Artemis before the Sandler Cartel forced me into the black hole.
He nodded and rose from where he squatted near my door. “I was hoping to catch you.”
At almost fifteen, he was tall—actually one inch beyond his father Cooper—and lanky-looking. His voice had lowered, and his cheekbones seemed to have risen. Suddenly, he looked much more like the son of a former prince and less my little brother who got lost in his own head trying to write music.
“You did.”
He’d been traumatized by what had happened when I went missing. Ari had helped him see it had been my choice to save him and blaming himself for circumstances beyond his control was foolish. Ari had helped all of us—and now he suffered, unconscious, with a lifetime of more suffering ahead of him. It seemed everyone who spent too much time around our family ended up, at some point, in a med machine.
Asher looked past my shoulder. “Where are your husbands? Shouldn’t one of them be with you? They’re pretty intense and around you all the time.”
“You’re not wrong. I think the rest of them believe Damian is with me right now. But he actually went to talk with your father.” As least I hoped it was only talk. I took a deep breath. They wouldn’t kill each other, I didn’t think.
Asher ran a hand through his dark hair. He looked much more a Jackson than an Alexander, and since I was basically a clone of my father’s mother when it came to my appearance, our dark hair color was the only trait Asher and I had in common.
“He’s my cousin.”
I squeezed my brother’s arm. He wasn’t a baby I could wrap in a hug anymore. Right beneath him in age, our blond brother Colin was on the edge of not wanting to be squeezed, too.
“He is. Weird right? The black hole did such strange things to time. Your uncle, Cooper’s brother, is long dead, and Damian is older than me, even though I was born decades before him.”
“Can I steal you for a bit? I mean, can I have a little time to show you something? Will they get upset if you’re not with them?”
I knew who “they” and “them” were. He wanted to know if my guys were going to freak out if I went somewhere with Asher.
“They worry. I think we’re pretty safe here. Honestly, I think Sterling could find me anywhere in this place. So, let’s go. What do you want to show me?”
Asher’s face lighted up. “Awesome.”
We took a long walk through silent halls. It seemed that my comparisons to Mars Station only held as far as what the compound looked like. There was no nightlife to speak of, as far as I could tell. People went to bed early. Everything was quiet.
Asher led me to a small room with a bunch of piping. It looked like it was one of the environmental rooms. Everything was neat and tidy, with a tablet hanging on the wall where people signed in and out from inspecting the place. The whole area screamed, “Cooper”—all of it. He was always in charge of environmental concerns, and he was fastidious as all hell. If this had been Uncle Wes’ area, everything would be everywhere.
My brother pointed to a pipe. “It’s not what it looks like. Take a gander.”
Take a gander. I grinned. There were some things I only heard from my brothe
rs and sisters. Little phrases we all shared, indicating the same people had raised us. I didn’t say “take a gander” to others, but I would probably use the phraseology with Asher as he had with me. Our mother said it all the time.
Why hadn’t I appreciated the small things that came with having these people around all the time? Why hadn’t I known how lucky I was to have them? Well, because I was too busy missing my loves and blaming the universe.
I walked to the pipe he pointed to. “If this thing suddenly shoots dust in my eye, I’m going to get you back.”
Asher grinned, some of the little boy he had been presenting himself in his amusement. “I swear. No dust. No soot. I wouldn’t take you on. I still remember drinking the sour milk as one of your retaliations.”
When I couldn’t talk to others, I’d always had him. He’d been too young and too loving to care what an oddball I was. I placed my head beneath the opening to the pipe, and I gasped. It wasn’t an environmental room at all. It was a spy place. I could see above ground, even as far as the sky above. I rotated around until the stars illuminated above me.
“Uncle CJ do this?” He didn’t always trust the computers. Sometimes he wanted to see things with his own eyes. This was a way for him to do it.
Asher stood to my left. “I assume so. All of this was done before any of us got here. My father dumped me in here last week and told me to get over myself.”
“That doesn’t sound like Uncle Cooper.” I pulled back to look at Asher. “Those were his exact words?”
Asher sighed, his shoulders deflating. “That was the implication.”
“And what is it you were supposed to get over?” They’d always been close, as far as fathers and sons went, although Cooper didn’t always get Asher and the feeling went the same way from Asher to Cooper.
He shook his head. “I hate it here. I want to be doing things. There are people on ships fighting. The Sandlers are fighting their own father. You took out a whole ship of the Sandler Cartel and rescued Ari.”
“I wasn’t exactly the one doing those things. I came along.” Killed someone. “But it was Sterling and Damian more so than yours truly.”
He wasn’t listening. I could see it in his eyes. “I’m not a child, and I’m sick to death of being treated like one. I could be helping. I could be fighting. I could be … doing something other than hiding down here with the children.”
“You’re finishing school, right?”
He threw his hands in the air. “You sound like them.”
“I haven’t said anything yet of any worth, so I’m not sure why you’re getting upset. You want to fight? You can in three years. They can’t make you do anything after you’re eighteen. I hope you’ll reconsider it. There are lots of ways to fight.”
He sucked in a breath before hollering his response. “Just because my father couldn’t kill his sister and C.J. had to do it, doesn’t mean I’m also not going to be able to get the job done.”
“Wow.” I decided I didn’t care if he didn’t take hugs easily anymore. I pulled my little brother into my embrace. “None of us were there. I was on a shuttle with Uncle Nolan, hiding from the fight. We didn’t see what happened. We barely know anything about it. The only people who know what occurred were the people there. Your father is one of the bravest people I’ve ever known.”
He actually shuddered as I held him. “I nearly got you killed. I know that’s not my fault. But I’m so sick of waiting around to grow up, to prove to everyone I am my own man, that I can be counted on and trusted.”
Asher tugged to be released, and I let him. I needed to find exactly the right words. “As for me, I’d hope you wouldn’t be able to kill your sister any more easily than he did.”
My brother snorted and then broke out in a grin, nearly bending over with laughter. That was exactly the response I’d wanted. I remembered being fifteen. It had really, really sucked and would have been so much worse if I hadn’t had Paloma to get me to smile when I wanted to sulk.
“All right, fair enough.” His face got serious. “Can I come with you when you leave?”
“When am I leaving?” Damian had taught me to deflect with the best of them. I couldn’t take my brother anywhere without our mom’s and his father’s permission. “I just got here.”
“We both know you won’t be here long. You’ll be back in the fight, helping in the effort, and I’ll be here studying quantum physics. When am I ever going to use quantum physics?”
I put my arm around him and led him from the room back into the hallway. “We never do know when the things we learn in school will suddenly be useful. Are you working on your music?”
“I can’t hear it right now. Like the notes have stopped speaking to me.”
Poor Asher. I kissed his cheek. “Being fifteen is tough.”
I meant to go back to my room, but when I brought Asher back to his, I ended up staying to watch movies Colin had been making on his tablet. At some point, I conked out right there on the couch with my brothers and sisters lying around me. If anyone had moved at all to the left or right, we would have all toppled to the ground.
A hand on my shoulder roused me some time later. Damian stood over us, an amused look on his face. I rubbed my eyes. I’d promised to be in the room waiting for him, and I’d completely screwed up.
Somehow, without disturbing the others, I managed to get off the couch and over to Damian. The nursery shared a separate hallway with my mother’s room. The kids could get to her or she to them if need be. Everything was quiet.
I took Damian’s hand and let him lead me back into the main housing hallway outside the rooms.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Sorry.”
“Had a little panic when you weren’t where I thought you’d be. It’s three in the morning. I quietly searched the other guys’ rooms. Woke Sterling, not on purpose but because there is no coming into his sleeping quarters without rousing him. He found you. Then he shooed me out and rolled over like the whole thing didn’t happen.”
I breathed in Damian. “I didn’t mean to not be in my bed. I got distracted.”
“It’s a good thing.” He scooped me into his arms. “You need your family around, and I need you. So we’re all good.”
“You are my family.” I kissed his chin, and he sighed.
We made it back to our housing section and my room in good time. Everything was quiet; only the buzzing of the air filtration systems reached my ears.
Damian laid me on the bed, coming over me gently. I loved the feel of his weight on top of me. His mouth met my own. I needed to ask him how things had gone with Cooper, but it would wait. My body buzzed, ready for him.
He wasn’t in a hurry, but I was. His lips were firm against mine. I stopped chasing him and tried to make him follow my lead. I wanted faster, harder. I wanted him.
Damian smoothed my bangs off my face. “Are you tired, Diana?”
“No, feeling kind of energized right now. Why?” I kissed his chin. He was so lovely. Damian would hate the description, so I’d never tell him, but he really was a beautiful, beautiful man.
“You seem like you’re in a hurry. I thought maybe you were tired.”
“Maybe I waited for you all night and now I don’t want to anymore.” I wrapped my legs around his waist, hooking my feet together to squeeze him tight. He sighed against my mouth.
“I love you. Love you. Love you. Please.” That please …
I didn’t try to set Damian’s pace but let him make love to me as he wanted. He asked for so little, but that didn’t mean he didn’t need tremendously. His hands shook when he undressed me. Somehow with Damian, it was always like the first time. He never seemed like he’d seen me naked before or as though I was something he was used to.
Damian loved me with his eyes before he ever did it in any other way.
I soaked in his adoration and let it warm me from all the years I’d been alone and confused.
When we were finally both naked, I wrapp
ed my arms around his neck to kiss him thoroughly. His body twitched above mine, and I felt his length grow against my stomach. He moaned, and I bathed in the sound. He wanted me, and there was something so intense in the way he longed for me that every breath he took during lovemaking felt like a promise of eternity.
Damian pushed inside of me. My muscles stretched to accommodate him, and I closed my eyes. Some moments could only be felt, not seen. Damian ran a soft finger down the side of my face. “Give me those eyes, Diana.”
I opened my lids. “I was reveling for a second.”
“I need your gaze; I can see your soul in your dark depths. Please.”
He pressed his forehead down on mine. This was Damian. It was all or nothing. I’d always give him all. He was my Damian.
His movements started out slowly, his body pressing and pulling from mine until he shuddered. I knew that meant he was close. He’d held back as long as he could. I loved watching him. Nothing gave me more pleasure than seeing Damian lose control. He shattered me with his heat.
“You need to come, Diana.” He squeezed my breast tightly. “I need to see you come.”
I wasn’t close yet, and I didn’t really care. This was pleasure for me, simply being this close to him. If I told him that, he’d feel like he’d failed me.
“Damian, I—”
“Sshh,” he interrupted me. “Just feel. Get out of your head. Let me love you.”
He pressed between us. I did usually need some clitoris play to come, and he knew that about me. We were always learning each other, but there were things Damian did masterfully when he played with my body.
He swirled his finger over my clit while his cock drove pleasure home. I cried out. I hadn’t been close, but boy, could he get me there fast.
“That’s my girl.” I loved the warmth in his voice. “You’re so beautiful when you come.”
That was all I needed. I shattered around him, and he cried out, his neck straining while my own orgasm called his. Damian cried out my name, over and over. There had never been a more precious moment.