Silence.
“Don’t do this,” Selene whispered.
He smiled. “It’s not as dangerous as it sounds. There are always opportunities occurring when one least expects them. That’s what life is all about.”
“I won’t let—” It was no use. He had made his decision, and there was nothing she could do to persuade him to abandon it.
She wanted to shout at him. She should have known he’d concoct a scheme that would shut her out. “This isn’t fair.” Sweet Mary, that protest sounded puny. It was just the sort of whining she had promised herself she would not do.
“Fairness doesn’t enter into it,” Kadar said. “It’s the only plan that will accomplish what we want.”
“It could work.” Vaden frowned thoughtfully. “But you’re depending considerably on luck.”
“Or on brilliance of mind and magnificent execution.” Kadar smiled slyly at Vaden. “I doubt if you consider any of your victories based on good fortune.”
“Certainly not.”
“Well, neither do I.”
“When do you go to Nasim?” Tarik asked.
“Tomorrow.”
The word struck Selene like a blow. Too soon. How could she find a way to keep him from committing this madness with so little time?
“Good,” Vaden said. “I was afraid you’d decide to return to the bridal bower and keep me waiting another fortnight.” He turned to Selene. “His prospects are not so dismal. Let’s get on with it. It would be foolish to attempt to dissuade him.”
“I’ve no intention of trying to dissuade him.” She rose to her feet. “Why should I? As you say, it would be foolish.” She didn’t look at Kadar as she started for the door. “He’s obviously made up his mind.”
“Selene.”
She didn’t stop. She had to get away from them. They were all so cool and reasonable, and panic was tearing through her. She had to gain her composure before she faced Kadar again. She had to think of a plan or an argument that would move him.
That prospect was far from likely.
Then she had to devise a plan of her own to keep him safe.
Tomorrow.
Dear God in heaven, tomorrow.
“She’s upset,” Vaden said. “But she was more reasonable than I thought she’d be.”
“Too reasonable.” Kadar was uneasy. He’d expected more of an argument from Selene. There was no question she had been shaken, and yet there had been no explosion. He had to talk to her.
“You’re cheating her,” Layla said. “She doesn’t appreciate you protecting her out of her vengeance.”
“I couldn’t do anything else.” He met her steady gaze and shrugged. “Very well, I won’t do anything else.”
“Then you have to accept the consequences.” Layla changed the subject. “Tarik and I are going with Vaden. I want to be sure we’re there if Nasim escapes your net with the grail.”
“That’s your privilege.” Kadar glanced at Vaden. “I want no hint of your presence in the area tomorrow when I meet with Nasim.”
“As you like. I’ve no desire for the assassins to know of my part in this any sooner than necessary. I’ll set up camp some distance away and we’ll meet after you leave Nasim.”
Kadar turned to Tarik. “And I’ll want you to bring the grail to the camp tomorrow evening.”
“What if Nasim follows you and attacks in force?”
“I’ll be careful. Nasim and Sinan taught me never to allow myself to be followed and the ways to avoid it. I doubt if Nasim will even attempt it.” His gaze went to the door. “Are we finished here? I need to talk to Selene.”
“It will do little good unless you tell her what she wishes to hear,” Layla said.
“Go.” Vaden’s smile was wicked. “I have a challenge for you. See if you can persuade her to give you pleasure. Considering her mood, that would be a true test of ‘brilliance of mind and magnificent execution.’ ”
He wouldn’t even consider that challenge, Kadar thought as he strode down the hall. He would be content if he could just make Selene understand that the danger was not as intense as she imagined.
And how was he to do that when it was possibly greater?
“Are you angry with me?”
Selene turned away from the window to see Kadar in the doorway. “No,” she said quietly.
She could see the answer disconcerted him. He had obviously come fully expecting to have to pacify her. He didn’t realize that this wasn’t anger, it was about fear and justice. “I suppose that it was natural for you to try to protect me. It’s what you’ve done ever since we first met all those years ago.”
“But it’s true, this is the best way.”
“Not in my eyes.” She met his gaze. “But I can’t convince you to do anything else, can I?”
He shook his head. “Tarik and Layla will be accompanying Vaden. You can go with them.”
“And be safe?”
“Vaden would argue that point.”
“Safe in comparison to what you’re doing.”
“Perhaps.”
“Don’t quibble. You know it is. Do you think I don’t—” She had to stop to steady her voice. “Don’t treat me like a fool, Kadar.”
“All right, it’s dangerous.” He crossed the room to stand before her. “And I want to keep you safe. Is that so terrible?” He reached out and gently touched her cheek. “I’m selfish. I’ve always been closer to the dark than the light, and when I’m with you all the darkness goes away.” The next words were stilted. “You warm me, and I need that warmth. No one else can give it to me but you, and I’m not sure I’d want to survive without it.”
Kadar had never spoken to her like this. His manner was pained, the sentences stiff, not at all like Kadar, whose words usually flowed like warm honey. She wanted to reach out and touch him, hold him, surrender to whatever he wanted to take away his pain. She couldn’t do it. “No, it’s not terrible. I just can’t accept it.”
He became still. “You said you weren’t angry.”
She smiled. “Why should I be angry? Do you expect me to reject you? I’ve committed that foolishness before and I won’t repeat it. I’m selfish, too, and I have no intention of losing you. We just cannot agree.” She kissed him lightly on the mouth. “But there are things on which we do agree. We should enjoy them in the time we have left. What time do you leave tomorrow to go to Nasim?”
“In the afternoon.” He stared at her warily. “Why?”
“Then we have time to walk in the garden, sup, talk.” She smiled teasingly. “And enjoy the simple things of life.” He was relaxing. That was good. She wanted no tension this night. “And I promise I’ll not try to dissuade you from going tomorrow.” She stepped back. “I know better than to waste my time. Now go and bathe and return to me within two hours. I’ll do the same and order a meal brought to us.”
He smiled. “If that’s what you wish.”
She smiled back at him. “That is exactly what I wish—for now.”
THE MOONLIGHT GLITTERED on the waters of the reflecting pool and the breeze ruffling the surface seemed to give movement to the statues surrounding it.
“I don’t like those statues,” Selene said. “They’re too cold.” She stepped forward so that her face was mirrored in the water. “But I look cold too. Isn’t that strange?”
“Yes. No one is less cold.” His grasp steadied her. “But that may change if you topple into the water.”
She chuckled. “Would you jump in and save me?”
“Always.”
“Well, I doubt I’d need rescuing. The pool is scarce five feet deep.”
“Men in armor have been known to drown in a few feet of water.”
“And serves them right for making war.”
“You’re making war on Nasim.”
Her smile faded. “That’s different.”
“And that’s what every antagonist says about his war.”
She made a face. “I don’t want to talk about war
s tonight.”
“Or Nasim.”
“Or Nasim.” She moved away from him and sat down on the bench beside the pool. “So talk about something else.”
“You’re being entirely too serene. You’re not planning on going over the wall again?” Kadar asked.
She shook her head. “I don’t think Vaden could be fooled as was that guard at Sienbara, and I’m sure you’ll warn him to watch me.”
He sat down beside her and took her hand. “Of course. But Layla has already given him ample warning. She’s learned your temperament very well in such a short time.”
“We think a good deal alike. I thought she’d fight harder to keep us from using the grail.”
“It was Tarik’s decision. Since I had a weapon to use, I bent all my efforts on him.”
“What weapon?”
“Guilt.”
She frowned, puzzled. “It’s Nasim who was guilty, not Tarik. I wouldn’t think Tarik would feel any blame.”
“Tarik evidently is a man with a conscience.”
“That would still not be—” She studied his face. “You’re not telling me something.”
“Not because I’m trying to keep secrets from you, it’s just not the time. I have to make a decision first.”
“Is it about the grail?”
He nodded.
“You agreed to protect it for Tarik? Is that why he’s letting us use it? You should never have—”
“I promised him only that I’d protect it from Nasim while it was in my possession.” He lifted her hand and kissed the palm. “Don’t you think it’s time we went inside?”
She stared at him in wonder. “I think you’re beginning to believe Tarik. How can you? It’s impossible.”
“Sometimes one is forced to consider the possibility of the impossible.” He smiled. “But that shouldn’t trouble you. You’ve already told me that the goal Tarik and Layla worked so hard to accomplish is of no interest to you.”
She shivered. “It would be too lonely and strange.”
“Perhaps not so lonely. We could make it—” He drew a deep breath and his hand tightened with bruising force. “My God, it’s a temptation to try to persuade you. I could do it. I know I could do it.”
“You’re hurting me.” And frightening her. “Persuade me?”
His eyes glittered as they held her own. “You say you trust me now. Don’t trust me in this. It’s too important to me.”
“What are you talking about?” Her eyes widened. “Tarik promised you something. Don’t believe him. It’s madness. This Eshe is a dream.”
“What if it isn’t?”
“Then it could be a nightmare. Promise me you won’t let Tarik talk you into trying to create this Eshe from the directions on the grail.”
He was silent a moment. “I promise.”
Her relief was tempered by a nagging unease. She could still sense that tension just below the surface.
“And will you promise me that you’ll try to forget the nightmare and consider the dream? Because it could be such a—” He muttered an oath and jumped to his feet. “Come, let’s go back to the house. We’ve had enough talk. I can’t seem to stop myself from trying to—”
He was striding through the garden away from her, she realized in bewilderment.
She caught up with him as they reached the house. “I think I would rather talk of Nasim,” she said breathlessly. “He doesn’t arouse such a furor in you.”
“We will talk of neither.” In the short time it had taken to reach the house, Kadar had changed again. His smile was seductive as he took her hand. “We won’t talk at all. I’ve saved something very special to demonstrate for you from my years in the house of pleasure. I think tonight is just the time to show you.”
“That was very wicked.” Her breath was coming in short pants as she rolled over on her back. “I’m not sure that you should—”
“Did you enjoy it?” He kissed her shoulder. “Then I should have done it. Rest, and then I’ll show you another way.”
She had never dreamed of the intensity and sensual skill Kadar had demonstrated tonight. He was always a master, but tonight he had been spellbinding, driven. Her body was tingling, alive, and still wanting more.
“I’m dizzy. I feel as I did in the tower . . . hashish.”
“Pleasure can be as strong as hashish and as addictive.” He kissed her breast. “Your body can become so accustomed to it that you can’t do without it. I can make you want me like that. Your body will crave mine so much that you—”
“What’s wrong?”
He jerkily moved off her. “Nothing.” He lay down beside her and turned his back. “Go to sleep.”
Go to sleep when he had turned from sorcery to remoteness in the space of a heartbeat? “I will not.” Her hand grasped his and she turned him on his back. “What’s wrong?”
He drew her down and buried her head in his shoulder. “What’s wrong is that you can’t trust me even in this,” he whispered. “I didn’t even know I intended to do this to you. I was tempted, I reached out, and—”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I enjoyed it. It was a trifle unusual, but I liked—”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“Oh, you think you can make a slave of me with your wicked ways?” She bit his shoulder. “You flatter yourself.”
“Do I?”
“And why should you want to? A slave would not suit you at all.”
“You suit me. And I find I’d want you any way I could get you.”
“But you have me already.”
“Do I?”
“If you don’t get yourself killed by Nasim.” She raised her head and smiled teasingly down at him. “And if you don’t deny me pleasure because you’re so vain as to think you have some sort of magical coupling powers.”
“Not magic, skill.” He smiled. “And I’m tempted to show you that it’s not vanity. You’ve seriously damaged my self-love.”
That almost desperate intensity was gone, she realized with relief. She cuddled closer and nestled her head in the hollow of his shoulder. “Later. I need to gather my strength. Besides, I like this too. Don’t you?”
His hand gently stroked the hair at her temple. “Oh, yes. I like everything I do with you, my love.”
He was asleep.
She wished she could join him in slumber, Selene thought, as she stared into the darkness. She didn’t want to lie here, thinking.
If she had imagined she would lie awake this night, she would have thought the cause would lay at Nasim’s feet. Surely Kadar’s meeting with Nasim should be more worrisome to her than his strange behavior tonight.
Eshe.
Impossible.
Yet Tarik and Layla were intelligent, reasonable people, and they believed it possible. Kadar was not a man to plunge foolishly to any conclusion, but he was beginning to believe it too.
And she could see how Kadar would be lured by the prospects it presented. It was his nature to question and explore.
What if he decided that he could not resist that ultimate challenge?
But he had promised her he’d not take that challenge.
But did she have the right to ask that promise?
Of course she did. She loved him. Dabbling in the unknown could be dangerous. She had to protect him from that risk.
He was not afraid of risk. But she was afraid for him.
Or was she afraid for herself? When Tarik had spoken of her not being ready, he had been talking about Eshe. He had seen what she knew to be true: She wasn’t ready to face the possibility of losing what she had to gain an uncertain future. She had grown up with uncertainty. Now she wanted everything secure and predictable.
Secure? Nothing could be less secure than their immediate future, and that danger was by her will and was her responsibility.
“You’re frowning.” Kadar’s eyes were open, but his voice was thick with drowsiness. “Stop worrying about Nasim and go to sleep.”
“I wi
ll.”
“It will be all right. Nothing will happen to me.”
“I know.” Because she had already made the decision that there was no chance of anything happening to Kadar. She closed her eyes. “Go back to sleep. You need to garner your strength. I intend to wake you in a few hours and have you pleasure me.”
“I’m not that sleepy now.”
“But I deserve better.”
He chuckled and brushed his lips across her cheek. “As you command.”
Not when it came to a choice of her will or protecting her from Nasim.
Well, that was one challenge she was ready to meet. No mysterious Eshe, no groping into the future, just a duty to be done, a debt to be paid.
A life to be taken.
“Why should I believe you?” Nasim’s gaze narrowed on Kadar’s face. “It would be no small thing to steal the grail from Tarik. What if it’s a lie? It could be a trap.”
“Why would I want to trap you? I want gold, not blood.” He glanced at Balkir hovering by the tent entrance and smiled maliciously. “Well, some blood. I want him. That wound in my chest still pains me at times.”
Balkir stiffened, his gaze flying to Nasim’s face.
Nasim didn’t look at him. “I don’t have to give you anything. If you’ve truly stolen the grail, I could torture you until you tell me what I need to know.”
Kadar chuckled. “But you won’t. It would take too much time. You’re the one who taught me to withstand torture. Who knows? I might even die before I told you where I hid it. Wouldn’t that be inconvenient?”
Nasim was silent. “How much gold?”
“I want the golden coffer that holds the grail and enough sacks of gold to fill it.” His glance went to Balkir. “Perhaps not quite fill it. There should still be room for Balkir’s head.”
Balkir’s face flushed with anger. “The master would not consent to such a bargain.”
“No?” Kadar’s gaze returned to Nasim and he said softly, “I really do want him, Nasim.”
Nasim made an impatient gesture. “You know that’s not possible. What else?”
“The Dark Star to take me back to Montdhu and your promise that Montdhu will continue to exist.”