CHAPTER XXIII.
_MOTHER AND DAUGHTER_.
Sophia looked from behind her window-blind as Mr. Wallowby drove awayto make his visit at Inchbracken.
'A fine looking man!' observed her mother, who stood behind her. 'Thiscold of yours is very disappointing, Sophia, confining you to yourroom. I was in hopes you and he would have become quite intimate bythis time. He seems a very superior person, and would have been animproving companion for you. Your cold appears to be better to-day.Put on your blue silk, and let him find you in the drawing room on hisreturn. You owe to your brother, my dear, that his friend should findthings as comfortable and pleasant here as among our neighbours.'
'Certainly, mamma, if you say so. But I don't think it will signifymuch to Mr. Wallowby. He does not mind me in the least, and I find ituphill work trying to make manners to him. Even Mary Brown, who has somuch to say, thinks him a tiresome man.'
'She did not appear to think so when she was in his company, laughingand singing and carrying on! I was disappointed to see her father'sdaughter manifest so much levity of character. I fear it is a familytrait.'
'Mamma!'
'Yes, Sophia! I mean what I say; young girls should be seen, but notheard. That was the rule in _my_ young days. She took the wholeentertainment of the stranger off your hands, as if she had been inher own house; forward, I thought her, in fact; and I don't think yourbrother Peter thought any the more of her for it.'
'Oh, mamma! it was Peter who made her talk! A girl must answer whenshe is spoken to; and she must laugh too, when people are trying toamuse her, however poor the joke may be. And it was Peter whopersuaded her to sing when she would rather not. I know, for she toldme so!'
'H'm! I fear she is a sly monkey that Mary Brown--for all her artlessways! I wish you had some of her worldly wisdom, added to the highprinciples I have been at such pains to instil into your mind. I amsure you will never be a flirt; but a young woman must be settled inlife unless she is to be an old maid and a failure; and how is aneligible young man to know what treasures of good sense and rightprinciple there may be in her, if she will not open her mouth to him,or hides away in her own room? I call it a waste of preciousopportunity! Remember the fate of the man who hid his talent in anapkin, and be warned in time!'
'But, mamma, you have always told me, and I am sure it is so, thatmarriages are ordained by a higher power, and that the appointed manwill certainly find you out, even if he has to come down the chimneyto reach you.'
'Quite true, my dear, in a sense! but we don't want the sweeps atAuchlippie at this time of year. And there can be no more proper placefor a gentlewoman to meet a young man than her mother's drawing-room;so put on your blue silk and bring your worsted work down stairs assoon as you are ready. I shall send Betsy to your assistance;' and,with a rather scornful shrug, the old lady left the room.
'I believe,' she muttered to herself as she descended the stairs,'that girl's a gowk! It's the Sangster blood in her, I suppose--adull, literal-minded lot!--soft and sober! To think that a daughter ofmine should need to be spoken to, as I have just been speaking to her!We were all more gleg than that on _my_ side of the house. I don'tknow whether to be more ashamed of being mother to sic a daw; or forthe things I have been driven to say to her! They don't sound like thewalk and conversation of a Christian woman! and yet the best of us arebut flesh and blood. We must all eat and drink, wear clothes, live inhouses, and, when we can, ride in coaches, marry and give in marriage,just like the people before the flood, though they were so bad; and wemust strive our best to provide for our families unless we would denythe faith and be worse than infidels. Ah! there is Scripture for it!So glad I remembered that text! It saves one from feeling base andscheming. But one ought not to be driven to put doubtful sentimentsinto words. One should be helped out with them. 'Bear ye one another'sburdens.' That seems an apt quotation and appropriate, if it had onlycome into Sophia's mind! But there's no use looking for that from_her_. She's a glaikit tawpie. Ah me! the trials of a discreet andconscientious mother are not light! I hope I may have strength to bearthem.' And so, with a sigh, she went about her affairs. The texts hadevangelicalized (if not evangelized) the mercenary schemes, and shewas again rehabilitated in her own eyes as a righteous person.
Sophia stood brushing out her hair and musing on her mother'sprecepts, as a dutiful daughter should. She had never before heardmarrying discussed in this bare, hard fashion. Was she a Circassianslave at Constantinople, to be tricked out and submitted to theinspection of the rich man in this fashion? Once before, some fewwords had been said to her in a more guarded way, but, as she nowperceived in the same spirit, when the coming of her brother and hisfriend had been first spoken of; but at that time they had been lessheeded, or she had understood them less, and they had not then shockedher. Love and marriage were subjects which up to that time had onlybeen mentioned in her hearing as something vague, mysterious and holy,which it did not become her to pry into. As for personal loveexperiences, she had none; and the subject of maidenly fancies hadgenerally been referred to by her hard and practical mother with scornand derision.
Roderick's letter to her had therefore fallen on her unprepared mindas a revelation. All the two previous days her thoughts had beenrepeating over and over his earnest words. How deeply he must havefelt before he could so have expressed his anxiety! And she? Whatanswer should she make? All the long years of their intercourse passedthrough her memory, and incidents disregarded at the time andforgotten, came back now to her recollection with a new meaning and anew force. Their long talks, in which he had spoken so much and she solittle, began now to take a new aspect in her mind. She must have beenencouraging him though she did not know it; and what was more, if shehad to enact those scenes over again, with the new enlightenment inher eyes, she felt that she would encourage him none the less, butrather the more. To have excited such emotion in one so clever andgood, was an achievement of which she felt proud, in a wondering andenquiring way, for she could not imagine how she had done it; but thethought of his love for her grew more and more sweet and engrossing,and she began to suspect that down deep somewhere in her nature whereshe had never looked or known of before, she was fond of him inreturn.
And yet, she had not answered the letter. What would he think of her?Since her mother had called her unmaidenly, she had not ventured toreturn to the subject in case of another explosion. But now that shehad in cold blood set a matrimonial scheme before her, anddeliberately incited her to endeavour to win the regard of a man forwhom she felt no attraction whatever, simply because he was rich, shefelt strong enough to broach the question again. Whatever her mothersaid she would answer his letter somehow, and more than that, shouldher mother propose another suitor, she would have nothing to say tohim till she had come to an understanding with Roderick.
Having donned the blue silk, Sophia descended to the drawing-room,work-basket in hand. The room was empty, which was disappointing, asshe had strung herself up to concert pitch She settled herself to workand waited. The monotonous motion of the needle and thread had acalming influence on her nerves; but as they grew less tense she beganto feel less confidence in her own courage, and to wish her meditatedconversation well over. Visitors came in, which afforded her a furtherrespite, and in her disturbed state supplied a vent for some of hersuppressed energy. She had never before, perhaps, shown so muchanimation and vivacity in general conversation. It surprised hermother and quite rehabilitated her in the good opinion of that carefulparent, who congratulated her on having so well held her part, andhoped it was the beginning of a new chapter in her life, and that shewas about to assume with due _eclat_ the part of daughter in soprominent a household of the Free Church.
'It's a duty to the cause, my dear! Remember how the daughters ofIsrael sewed curtains of scarlet and needlework for the ark in thewilderness. By all means let us show that we are in no respect behindthe heathen in the graces of life! and let us show forth the beaut
y ofholiness among the uncircumcised residuaries!'
It was not altogether plain to Sophia how holiness arrayed in bluesilk was to advance the cause, but she let it pass. Her lady motherwas in tolerably good humour, and that was a point in her favour. Sheconsulted her about the shading of a rose in the worsted work, tobreak the current of her thoughts, and then, like the bather about toplunge into an unkindly sea, with firm-set teeth, and fingers clenchedbeneath her embroidery, she made the leap. After a preliminary coughto steady the tremor in her voice--
'Have you got that letter of mine, mamma? I think I must answer itto-day.'
'What letter?' demanded the old lady with a start.
'That letter from Rod--Mr. Brown.'
'I thought we had said all that need be spoken on that subjectalready.'
'You said I was unmaidenly,' replied Sophia, aghast at her owntemerity; but even the sheep when it is cornered will turn its hornsto the collie.
'And was that not enough for any right thinking young woman?' retortedthe mother, showing a pink spot on either cheek--the red lamps ofdanger.
'I am not thinking of myself, mamma! Mr. Brown has written me a kindand a very urgent letter, and I think I owe him an answer of somekind, when he shows so deep an interest in me. You said yourself thismorning that a girl will be an old maid and a failure if she is notmarried. I suppose you don't want me to propose to the men myself? andif a gentleman proposes to me, surely I owe him a civil answer.'
'The lassie's in a creel!' cried Mrs. Sangster, jumping up. She had atingling in her finger tips, which not so many months before, wouldhave relieved itself in an assault on her daughter's ears; but theblue silk, the tall womanly figure, or an unwonted determination inthe girl's face, restrained her, and she sat down again.
'I am astounded, Sophia, to hear you use such language! When I was agirl I think I would have died, before I could have brought myself tosay as much. Have you been reading novels? or what has come over you?'
Sophia sat speechless, eyeing the danger signals on her mother'scheeks, with considerable alarm; but that did not appear. Well for usit often is, that the sluggish frame is a mask and veil, but slowlyresponding to the inner working of our minds, or the tide of battlewould oftener be turned in its course. She said nothing, which was thevery best reply she could have made.
'Here have we got a most desirable match in the very house withyou--one only requiring the most ordinary assiduity on the partof any handsome and well brought-up young woman, to secure theprize. Nature has done its part for you, and I, though you think solittle of your mother's love, have done mine; and yet you send yourthoughts wool-gathering far and wide to take up with a penniless,ill-principled, disreputable licentiate! Not even ordained! Nor everlikely to be, if a's true that's suspected. For shame, woman! An' showmair sense!'
'Mamma! I am nothing to the gentleman you allude to! He would rathersit in Peter's room and smoke tobacco, than trouble with me. And Icare just as little for him.'
'Ay! There it is! You're that indolent you canna be fashed to makeyourself commonly agreeable to your brother's friend! Do you takeyourself for another 'Leddy Jean' in the ballad, that all the lordsand great men in the country are to come bowin' and fraislin' for aglint o' _your_ e'e? You are vastly mistaken if you do! The young menof fortune now-a-days know their own weight too well for any suchnonsense. A girl will have to make herself agreeable before she needexpect attention even, not to speak of a proposal.'
'But I don't want a proposal! and I don't want _him!_ Am I for sale,that I am to be trotted out and shown off to him, as Jock Speirs doeswith papa's colts, when the horse-couper comes round?'
'Sophia Sangster! To think I should live to see the day when my ownchild would taunt me with being a match-making mother! Is that theoutcome of all my self-denying care and love? But you'll change yourmind yet, my lady, or I'm mistaken. When your poor mother is laid inthe kirk-yard, and yourself are a middle-aged spinster living inlodgings, up a stair, in some country town, spending your time cuttingup flannel to make petticoats for beggar wives, and no diversion thelive long week but the Dorcas meetings on Friday evenings, then you'llremember your poor mother's assiduous endeavours to settle you inlife, and you'll see your headstrong folly when it's too late!'
Mrs. Sangster seldom attempted to wield the limner's art, and that wasthe reason why her present effort was so effective on her ownsensibilities. She buried her face in her handkerchief and gulped.
'Mamma! what is the good of talking nonsense like this? There is nopresent fear of my being an old maid; Mr. Brown has asked me to marryhim, and that is what I want to talk about,--not about suppositionsthat can never come to anything.'
'And what would you wish to say, then, in your great wisdom?'
'I would simply say that I am not engaged to anybody, and that I amtoo much startled by his letter to be able to say more; but he canspeak to papa about it.'
'But I will not allow you to have any correspondence with that youngman!--a bringer of open reproach upon the truth he professes! All whohave dealings with him will be brought to confusion yet, I am certain!Touch not, taste not, handle not!'
'I only want to write him a letter!' responded Sophia, a littlepertly; but the effort of self-restraint had lasted a good while, andshe was approaching that state in which one must either laugh or cry.'And what do you know against him?' she added.
'There are rumours in circulation,--and well founded rumours, too, Iam sorry to say,--which preclude decent people from having anydealings with him whatever.'
'But what are they about? Considering the subject of his letter, Iought to know--surely!'
'I hope you will never know what they are about. They are too shockingto be spoken about altogether.'
'And do you believe them?'
'I cannot help myself! The evidence is too convincing.'
'Does papa believe them?'
'I don't know that he does--exactly--just yet. He is so prejudiced infavour of that young man. But he will be compelled to believe beforelong.'
'Does papa know of his letter to me?'
'How should he know? Do you think I would bring myself to speak ofwhat I consider a gross insult to the family? But have done! Herecomes Mr. Wallowby. The dinner was to be kept back on account of hisabsence. Go and bid them have it on the table in three quarters of anhour. But remember, Sophia, I command you in the most solemn mannernot to write to that other man. And think no more of it.'
The guest's return cut short further discussion; and probably it wasbest so. Mrs. Sangster had had the last word, which she would haveinsisted on having in any case; and Sophia, if slow, was well known inthe family to be obstinate--one on whose mind, if an idea could onceinscribe itself, it remained for ever, written in ink indelible; andunder the new awakening that was at work within her, she was littlelikely to have been moved by any thing that would have been said. Hermind was made up. Roderick should certainly hear from her, on that shewas resolved; but the lifelong habit of obedience in which she hadbeen reared, prevented her direct contravention of her mother'scommand. She would not write a letter, but she must get at him in someother way.
She would have liked to talk it all over with her father, as being aperson of incomparable wisdom, and one better inclined to Mr. Brown,as she had just gathered, than her mother; but her father if verywise, was also very far off--a Merovingian king, in affairs of thehousehold or of his daughter, which he was content to leave under theabsolute and undisputed control of his wife--the mayor of the palace.She had been used every day to see him preside at table, and readprayers morning and evening, but she had never had much personalintercourse or conversation with him; and to go to him and say that ayoung man had asked her to marry him, was beyond her strength. Shegrew pale at the bare thought of it.
The next day was taken up with other cares--a dinner party at home,and on Wednesday came leave-taking, as her brother and Mr. Wallowbywere returning to the South. In the afternoon, however, stillness hadfallen upon the house. Her fathe
r was away, having accompanied hisguests to the county town where they were to catch the mail. All thestir and bustle of the past two weeks was over, and her motherdeclaring she had a headache, had retired to her room. Sophia sat downto her worsted work, and as with busy fingers she wove the many-huedthreads into her web, her own thoughts seemed to disentanglethemselves out of the confused wisp in which they had lain, she beganto perceive what it really was that she wanted, and to make up hermind what she would do. Roderick's letter somehow kept repeatingitself over and over again through her mind, but she made no attemptto stifle it, nor did she grow weary of the phrases so oftenrehearsed; on the contrary the colour deepened in her cheek, and alight dawned in her eye, clearer, warmer, more human, than thoseorgans with all their gazelle-like beauty--their suggestion of theox-eyed Here--had ever revealed before. 'Yes! Roderick should have hisanswer--in part at least--for, after all she felt herself, as one ofGod's free creatures, entitled to exercise the resources of herhunter's skill. Before she yielded to his yoke, as Tibbie Tirpie wouldhave said, she meant to have more courting. And Mary--she could seeand speak to _her_ without challenge and without reproach--_she_should be her messenger.