CHAPTER XXXIII.
_DISCOMFITED_.
Within the Post Office as well as in other places, there stood a groupwatching Roderick's departure, and among them, as might be supposed,was Joseph Smiley. It would have been a very unexpected event indeedthat could have transpired in the village without his being there tosee.
'I wuss we may na hae dune the laad some wrang,' sighed Angus Kilgour.'He gangs like's he thocht nae shame, an' gin there cam few to bid him"Gude bi wi' ye," thae few war the first e'y land. See to the youngCaptain, hoo he's crackin' til Eppie an' the bairn 'at a' body saidwas merry-begotten. That looks like 's he didna think sae.'
'Hoot awa!' said Ebenezer, who had become a man of consequence throughthe prominent part he had taken in the minister hunt, and wouldtolerate no gainsaying. 'Hae na we scripter for't, Angus, 'at evil menan' seducers wax warse an' warse? An' think ye, 'at gin a chield wassae far left til himsel as yon puir laad maun hae been, he wad turnround that easy an' own til his fau't? Na, na! The De'il's a hardmaster 'at's aye wantin' mair service. An' as for puir Mester Brown,I'm sure I wuss him nae ill, but juist 'at he may be brocht til owntil his transgressions. He's gangin' the gate o' thae wanderin' staarsfor whum is reserved the blackness o' darkness! I think naething o'yer young Captain comin' to see him awa. He's been danderin' round himilka day sin' he fell out wi' his flock, or sin' they _fand_ him out Isuld say. He's juist a laad o' Belial 'at cares naething for the saulso' hiz puir folk, (dizna he get a' the nails an' the pleughs an' theiron wark for the property doon by at Inverlyon?) an' he wants to pu'down the wa's o' Zion. He's juist like Tobiah the Ammonite 'at fashedNehemiah langsyne, but it's no a tod like him rinnin' on the wa's o'our Jerusalem, 'at's gaun to kick them ower. An' as for the Lairdcomin' wi' his dochter, he's been sair left til himsel', but we a' kenhe's pridefu' an' winna be direcket by puirer folk, an' that's what'smade him sae camstairy. But I'm juist winnerin' 'at Mistress Sangster(an' sic a graand christian as she is!) lets him gang sic daftlikegates!'
Joseph listened to the harangue with respectful attention, lookingapproval but saying nothing. Instinctively he had the wisdom inconduct by which men have become Roman Popes or American Presidents.If he had few friends, he gave no offence, and made no enemies. Thefriends are but broken reeds to lean upon in getting one in, but the_unfriends_ are omnipotent in keeping him out. It was popedom in asmall way that Joseph contemplated, catechist being as great a rise inlife for the Glen Effick beadle as Pope for the Archbishops andPrinces of the Church. The emoluments, as stated by Mr. Geddie, were,of course, altogether inadequate, but then Free Trade principles werejust about that time being established as the economic faith of thenation, and he understood perfectly that even Mr. Geddie, amerchantman in search of goodly pearls, felt disposed to dabble in thelaw of supply and demand, and if he could pick up a catechist at halfprice, would not 'feel justified' in paying him more. Economic pietyis apt to be economical as well, and alas, alas, for the Church andthe world! it is the spurious article for sale that is best able tohaggle with the greedy religiousness that would buy. Saintly holinessis sent at half price to labour in the slums, while sensationalpretence gets the velvet-mounted pulpit, the snug parsonage, and thecomfortable living.
Joseph was not much of a letter writer. He never had had opportunityto practise the craft, or doubtless his pen would have grown as glibas his tongue. If he wrote to Mr. Geddie himself, his letter mightstamp him illiterate, and consequently a half price article; and evenif not, being but an obscure person, he could not hope to influenceconveners, committees, contributors, and the rest of the sacredmachinery in Mr. Geddie's church, whence the money was to come. Hethought therefore to procure intercession. He would petition Mrs.Sangster to write on his behalf, and by and by he would ask Ebenezerto say a word in his favour, after he knew the lady's letter had beensent.
With this view he set out for Auchlippie, whither he had gone lessfrequently of late, fearing to compromise himself with Jean Macaulay.
As already said, Jean's expectations made her unquestionably 'a catch'for the beadle, but Joseph found she might prove a millstone about theneck of a catechist. For Joseph was far-seeing. Such imaginativefaculty as had been vouchsafed him was circumscribed within the hopesor possible achievements of Joseph Smiley, but within these bounds attimes they soared! Once a catechist he might find favour in zealousand wealthy eyes, and he might be enabled to attend the Divinity Hall,whence he would issue a full-fledged minister. Favouring circumstancesmight work out so much for a bachelor, but who would undertake a manalready weighted with a wife and family? Vulgar too! and unfit toassociate with the upper classes as minister's wife! If, however, heshould fail to secure any such enthusiastic person, and he knew theywere rare, Jean would not be so far amiss as spouse to a catechist forlife. The _placens uxor_ he could appreciate when more substantialconsiderations did not stand in the way, and her tocher would be 'ahelp,' and enable him, if still subordinate to the Established clergyand those of the Free Church, to hold his own with 'Seceder bodies'(there were no U.P.'s in those days), 'Baptists, Methodists, and siclike.' At that time there was no word of voluntary principles in theFree Church, and it required a good many years 'in opposition,' aspoliticians would say, before it even was suggested to drop thetwenty-third chapter of the Confession of Faith, and along with it theold feeling of superiority to the dissenting communions.
When Joseph reached Auchlippie, he was considerably taken aback byJean's extreme coolness. He had been considering as he fared along,the exact degree of friendliness it would be prudent to show to Jean.He must be kind but not quite fond, friendly but not intimate, withjust a suggestion of the superiority which he hoped was hovering overhim and he trusted might alight. Distinctly then, he felt taken abackby Jean's reception.
'Ye want to see the mistress? Gang intil the laundry than, an' set yedoon, an' whan I'm through here I'll gang ben an' speer gin ye can seeher.'
'But I cud help ye to shell the peas, Jean.'
'Wha's seekin' yer help? Tak yer guttery shune out ower the cleankitchen, an' gang intil the laundry or I'se prin the dish-clout tilyer tail! Think ye I haena gowks eneugh e'y stable-yard to shell mypeas gin I wanted their help? Awa' wi' ye!'
Nothing like a little cool repulsion to draw on the young men whenthey begin to hang back. The cherries a little out of reach are alwaysredder than those which hang ready to the hand. Looking at the buxomlass and the saucy twinkle in her merry black eye, Joseph's foreseeingcircumspection began insensibly to abate, or rather he forgot allabout it.
'What ails ye, Jean, woman?' he poured out in his most insinuatingtones, and his queer little eyes looked plaintive or nearly so. 'An'me juist hungerin' for a glint o' yer bonny eyen!'
'Get out my gate, ye blatherin' skate!' with a jaunty toss of herhead. It is pleasant to be appreciated, is it not? No matter by whom.But she had no thought of relenting yet awhile. 'It's like's ye cudnabide awa frae me, ye leein' twa-faced body! It'll be four weeks comeThursday sin' I hae seen a sicht o' ye, an' I hae dune brawly wantin'ye. Gae back to them ye saw last an' bide there. It's no Jean Macaulay'at's wantin' ye. An' gang out ower the clean kitchen! See til thejaups o' glaar, about yer guttery trotters! Gang out ower, I'm sayin'!or I'se lay the taings about yer cantle.'
'Whisht, woman! an' I'se tell ye a' about it,' said Joseph, sidelingnearer. Then throwing the right arm round her waist, he drew up theleft to protect his face from nails or accidents, and attempted tosteal a salute.
Jean screamed and sprang aside, catching hold of a broomstick, and herface aflame with crimson wrath, ordered him out of the kitchen. Atthat moment an inner door opened and Mrs. Sangster stood on thethreshold surveying the scene.
'Jean Macaulay! what is the meaning of this? Do you take my kitchenfor a country tavern, to go touzelling with strange men in it in thatunseemly way? When I engaged you I said distinctly that no followerswere allowed.'
'There's nae touzellin' here, mem; an' what's mai
r, I winna hae 'tsaid o' me by ony body, sae ye can suit yersel' wi' anither lass 'attaks less tent o' her gude name nor I do! The man's nae follower o'mine; it was yersel' he came speerin' for, sae I cudna tak on mysel'to pet him out, an' syne the impident rascal he grippet me about thewaist, an' I skirled, an' ye see the lave o't.'
'It's Joseph Smiley, the minister's man! I declare. What do you want?You may well be ashamed, and hang your head! What will the sessionsay? You, that ought to be an example of sober and godly deportment,to be raising a riot in a gentleman's kitchen!'
Joseph was abashed. All his bright schemes seemed to dissipatethemselves before his eyes, like a morning mist, and he could onlywish himself away. He coughed behind his hand, and stood balancinghimself first on one foot, then on the other.
'I'm sair dumfoondered, mem!' he said at last. 'An' I'm thinkin' Ijuist canna be very weel. My head gaed clean soomin' ey noo, an' Icudna keep my feet, an' sae I out wi' my arm to catch something, an'it was her I grippet, puir lass. An' Jean, it's like she thocht itwasna mo-odest, an' sae she gae the bit skirl. But there was nae wrangintil't ava, mem, as ye may weel ken. Wad it be likely noo, mem, e'engin I was ane o' the licht mindet kind, as a' the folk in KilrundleFree Kirk kens weel I'm no', for me to be comin' intil the kitchen o'the first leddy e'y laand, an' carryin' on wi' rigs, an' daffin', an'touzellin's? Weel I wat, mem, ye'll own I hae mair sense nor that.'
Joseph's demeanor was so deeply humble, and his way of putting thecase so respectfully argumentative that Mrs. Sangster was considerablymollified, but consistency required some continuance of rigour.
'I fear, Joseph Smiley, you must have been drinking this morning. Thatwould explain the giddiness you describe, as well as your trying tosteady yourself against Jean Macaulay, which was not like the conductof a sober man. And, after all, from what you say, Jean's conductseems to have been perfectly proper. So, Jean, I will not considerthat you have given me notice to suit myself with a new maid until yousay it again!'
'There's naething but a wheen parritch gane down my craig this day,mem, an' I'm wae 'at ye suld think sae ill o' me,' said Joseph,feeling his way back into the usual sanctimonious groove. 'I'm no'weel, mem, an' I'm juist fear'd I'm no' lang for this world, an'that's what's brocht me here this day. I cam seekin' a word o' ye,mem!'
'Then follow me, Joseph.'
Joseph followed, and laid before Mrs. Sangster the statement of hishopes and desires. 'I'm no' lang for this warld, mem, an' gin I cud dosome gude first I wad be mair contented like, but they wad need todouble the steepend, mem. I cudna gang for less.'
'If you are going to die so soon, Joseph, I should think the temporalreward would be of little consequence to you.'
'Ou ay, mem! But ye ken the labourer is worthy of his hire.'
'I should doubt your ability for the work, Joseph; and at any rate youmust wait till your giddiness is cured. A giddy catechist, to judgefrom the scene in my kitchen to-day, might give rise to seriousscandals! I know a person who will exactly suit Mr. Geddie, if thesalary can be made sufficient; and I am much obliged to you, Joseph,for having brought me the information. You may rest assured too,Joseph, that if you will but do your duty with all your might, in thecircumstances in which Providence has placed you, you are making thevery best preparation for the great change which, sooner or later,will overtake us all.' And with this moral sentiment still ringing inhis ears, Joseph found himself dismissed and on the gravel in front ofthe house, not only a disappointed, but an utterly discomfited man. Heretraced his steps to the village, and went back to his joiner-workthinking how little good had come to him out of his idle morning.