“All right.”
He put the phone down and turned to see Avery and the three vampires all on their feet.
“What do you need from us?” Cosmo asked immediately.
“You hunt Katrina,” Lucien ordered, Cosmo’s face went hard but he nodded.
Lucien looked to Stephanie. “You bring me Marcello.”
Stephanie smiled a humorless smile before she nodded.
Lucien looked to Gregor. “There was another vampire there. I want to know who he was.”
Gregor simply nodded.
Lucien looked to Avery. “Gregor finds out, he tells you. You send Rafe.”
Avery tipped up his chin.
“They’re expecting you,” Lucien warned all of them.
“We heard,” Cosmo replied.
Lucien nodded and looked at Avery. “I’ll need you to follow me. Guard Edwina.”
Avery lifted his chin.
“Lucien moved to the door.
“Are you hunting your father?” Stephanie asked his back.
“No, he can wait,” he turned, hand on the doorknob and looked at Stephanie, “I’m hunting Leah.”
He heard her indrawn breath but he walked out the door.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The Vow
My eyes on the television set, I pulled the two scrunched pillows I was holding deeper into my body. I was curled tight around them, my neck bent, my cheek resting on the rough material.
The TV wasn’t set to loud. This was because I wanted to hear what was happening outside. Not that I could get away if Lucien caught up with me. I just wanted the half a second I’d have to prepare myself to die.
But my mind wasn’t on the TV.
My mind, as it had been for days, was on everything.
Would I be able to sleep that night, alone in a bed in a hotel room after spending weeks sleeping every night curled into a vampire?
Where would I go tomorrow? North, south, east, west? Canada? Mexico?
Should I take the chance to phone my family? I’d left nine days ago and it was likely they’d been informed I’d escaped and they were probably worried about me. Not to mention, it would be my last chance to speak to them if Lucien was enraged when he caught up with me, went the way of the vampire and took my life. I clearly didn’t know him (at all) but what I now knew of him, I convinced myself he would go the way of the vamp.
And lastly, wondering how much time I had and if I should just stop moving, let him catch me and be done with it.
I was ready to die and this was messing with my head too. It was sick and crazy but I was tired, hungry, heartbroken, on the run and I knew to my soul my future was fucked. I’d fallen hard for a vampire who’d spent months playing me against me. And I was just so done with it.
But weirdly, considering what Lucien had done to me, I had to admit that a lot of my headspace was taken up with worry about things his father had said. Things that meant Lucien was in danger in a variety of ways. I shouldn’t care, I knew it.
But I did.
I was totally messed up.
And then there was the incessant beating myself up. Asking myself why I was so stupid. Asking myself when would I learn.
I tried to cut myself some slack. He was Lucien and there weren’t a lot of men like him (in fact, none). He’d worked hard at it, vowed to break me. And a vampire vow was a bond. So, obviously, he pulled out all the stops to succeed.
But I couldn’t cut myself any slack. My decisions were my own. My capitulation was on me. My flight and the consequences of it were mine to bear. I knew it would hurt my family which made it harder for me not to call them. But I told myself, if what Etienne said was true, it might be time for the Buchanan women to get out of the concubine business.
I stared unseeing at the TV. This was the ninth hotel room I’d been in. I splurged this time. I’d stayed in crappy places off the beaten track the last eight nights. But I was tired. I’d had little sleep. This place wasn’t great and it certainly wasn’t the luxury I’d grown accustomed to. It was old but at least it was clean. I needed clean. I needed sleep.
Hunger pains gnawed at my gut but I knew I couldn’t eat. I’d tried. The thought of it made me nauseous and the one time I tried to eat something it made me flat out sick. So I stopped trying.
I just drove wherever my hands on the steering wheel took me. I drank loads of coffee to stay awake. Then I found a place to settle in and pray for sleep.
But sleep eluded me.
I was so damned tired. I’d never been that tired. That hungry.
I’d never been that heartbroken.
I missed him. I missed my vampire who would never be mine. I missed him every second of every day I was away from him.
And I hated myself for it.
I felt the tears gather in my eyes and I blinked them away, trying to concentrate on the TV screen.
This didn’t work. I knew it but I didn’t give up. Every night, the tears came and no matter how I’d struggle to beat them, they’d always silently fall.
If this was a romance novel and he wasn’t Lucien, I could believe we were lifemates. My tears and heartbreak weren’t about knowing I was on the run from the man I loved who would find me and kill me. They were about losing the man I loved (see? Messed up!). I’d never felt this way when a relationship ended with one of my other boyfriends. I didn’t even know you could feel this badly. I didn’t know this kind of pain existed.
I wished I still didn’t know.
I was cold. I was wearing a pale pink cotton nightgown that fell to my knees and had a wide v-neck and short sleeves. I’d stopped and bought a few and some underwear so I could throw away the stuff Lucien gave me. To try to warm up, I curled my knees tighter to my chest. I was too exhausted even to move to get under the covers.
The tears slid out the sides of my eyes making the TV screen blurry and I sighed.
I wondered, if I actually managed to get to sleep, if I’d have the nightmare. I hadn’t thought of that when I took off and each night this thought also served to keep me awake. But in the snatches of broken sleep I was able to get, it didn’t come.
I knew what this meant. We’d been connected even if it was in a fucked up way.
Now we were not.
Who would have thought I’d ever want that dream back?
It stunk but I did. I wanted any connection to him. Even a connection that might bizarrely kill me.
Jeez, I was messed up. Totally.
I sighed again, the tears slowed and my eyelids started to feel heavy.
Yes. Sleep, please. I needed sleep.
The tears stopped and my eyelids drooped.
Yes, sleep.
I blinked slowly then closed my eyes.
Then, thankfully, nothing.
* * * * *
I woke and instantly knew he was there because I could feel his fingers wrapped around my ankle.
Knowing I wouldn’t succeed but doing it anyway, I tensed for flight.
Then I felt my ankle jerked. Suddenly, my body was on its back and the weight of Lucien was on top of me. He had his long fingers around my jaw, his palm warm against my throat.
I’d fallen asleep with the lights on. I could see him right there, his face an inch away, his eyes filled with heat.
Hungry.
I felt my heart hammering in my chest, fear burning through me, my fingers and legs tingling.
“Leah,” he whispered, my name coarse on his lips.
I didn’t speak. I waited for whatever would befall me. It sucked but I was ready.
Nine days. It took him nine days to find me. I was surprised and impressed. Not impressed in a good way but still that was pretty unbelievable.
“I haven’t fed in nine days, sweetling,” he murmured.
Sweetling.
Still persisting in this charade when we both knew it was way over.
God, I hated him.
But this surprised me. I vaguely wondered why he hadn’t fed. Then again, if h
e was going to drain me dry, he’d need to be super hungry.
“Sweetheart, I need to feed,” he whispered.
I swallowed, my throat moving against his palm, my mind hazy with exhaustion, wondering why it seemed he was asking for permission to kill me.
Maybe it was some crazy vampire tradition.
I did the only thing I could do. And anyway, I might as well get it over with.
I turned my head to the side, exposing my neck, his hand moving with me.
I just hoped he anesthetized me. I didn’t want to die but I really didn’t want to experience that agonizing pain before doing it.
I sensed his head dip but I definitely felt his tongue move up my neck.
I licked my lips. That felt good and I was pleased he didn’t intend to hurt me unduly before he killed me. But as good as it felt (and it felt great, as always, which also sucked) I wouldn’t allow myself to react.
Then his tongue moved down.
I felt the numbness then I felt him feeding.
My eyes closed slowly and I finally found it fortunate I was so tired. I didn’t have the energy or strength to react no matter how good it felt.
His hand moved. His thumb tenderly gliding over my lips, his fingers drifting over my cheek, down my jaw, down to wrap around the side of my neck and pull me up as he deepened the suction.
God, I used to love it when he did that. And even right then, as exhausted as I was, I felt a faint tingle in my nipples and between my legs.
His thumb moved, stroking my throat and that, I thought, was so Lucien. Even while killing me, he was playing the game, pretending gentleness, giving me something beautiful.
My eyes opened slowly and just as slowly closed again. God, I was so exhausted. I wasn’t going to fight no matter how futile it would be. I had nothing left in me. I wasn’t even going to stay awake through my death.
This, I decided, was probably good.
Lucien’s weight, his heat, his feeding, his big, warm hand at my neck, his thumb stroking soothingly, his other arm wrapped around me tight, my eyelids fluttered one last time.
So he’d give me a beautiful death.
That was Lucien too.
I let go, allowed the glory of his feeding to overwhelm me then I drifted into oblivion.
* * * * *
“It may take a few days. I need to see to Leah.”
As I swam toward consciousness, I heard Lucien’s deep voice saying these words quietly.
Then I heard, “I don’t know. What I do know is she hasn’t been seeing to herself. Nine days and she’s lost an alarming amount of weight. Her color is not good, there are shadows under her eyes and she fell asleep during a feeding.” There was a pause and then, “Yes, Teffie, during.”
I struggled against the weight of the fatigue that still held me in its grip. This was aided by the fact I was held snug and tight to Lucien’s side, part of my body on top of his, my cheek resting on his chest. Lucien kept talking.
“I’ll be moving her to a decent hotel, feeding her, getting her rest. Then we’ll be talking. I don’t want to start the journey home until I’m satisfied she’s fit for it. So hold them. I’ll deal with them when I return.” Another pause then, “If you wish. Play with them all you like.”
What was he talking about?
And more importantly, why was I alive and being held snug and tight to Lucien?
My eyes opened then I blinked.
Lucien’s arm around my back shifted, his hand drifting up my spine, his fingers tangling in my hair.
“She’s awake, Teffie. I’ll phone you later when I know more.”
His fingers moved, twisting a lock and my heart skipped a beat.
“Right. We’ll speak soon.”
Then I heard a beep and I knew he was done.
I had a second to process this before Lucien shifted. He ended settled on his side, his other arm going around me, pulling me up so my head was not on his chest but on the pillow and I was eye-to-eye with him.
God, his eyes were beautiful. Nine days and I thought I remembered everything but I forgot just how beautiful his eyes were.
“You slept deep, sweetling. How do you feel?” he asked gently, his fingers still playing in my hair, his other arm holding me close to his heat.
“Uh… what’s going on?” I whispered cautiously.
“You’re about to tell me how you feel,” he replied.
“Well… uh…” I trailed off.
He hadn’t killed me. In fact, looking at him, he didn’t look angry at all. He looked like Lucien except better. Way better. His eyes filled with concern and a warmth so deep I’d never seen anything like it. His face was soft. His voice was gentle and quiet.
Was this part of the taming? Your prey figured it out, took off and you got to go after her and do it all over again?
Oh God, I hoped that wasn’t it. Like, I really, really hoped that wasn’t it. Seriously, I preferred it if he’d kill me.
“When’s the last time you ate?” Lucien asked when I trailed off and didn’t start again.
“You mean, ate and kept something down?” I asked back and watched his eyes flash and his mouth go hard.
Oh boy.
“Yes, the last time you ate and kept it down,” he replied, his voice now tight but somehow not menacing.
“Well, the night before…” Oh shit. I didn’t want to go where I had to go. Well, I had to say it because I knew he wouldn’t let it go. “The night before I took off.”
“Ten days,” he murmured, surprising me when he looked thoughtful, not angry at my mention of my escape, his arms going tight, his eyes moving over my face then they locked on mine. “That was foolish, my pet.”
Okay. Now. Seriously.
What was happening?
“We need to get you food,” he declared. “Do you have the strength to go with me to a restaurant or do you wish for me to go and bring something back? If the latter, tell me what you’d like. And I’ll warn you, you’ve slept twelve straight hours, not counting however long you were asleep before I found you. It’s not morning. It’s one in the afternoon.”
Learning this, I felt my eyes go wide as my lips parted. Then I felt my stomach flutter when he took in this look, his face again went soft and his fingers stopped playing in my hair and fisted gently in it.
Still, he’d just asked me what I wished and inferred he’d go off and do as I asked.
Was this a new tactic?
“Uh…” I mumbled, not alert enough to process this, defend myself, figure out what was happening. Not alert enough for anything.
He rolled me so I was on my back, he was looming over me but his torso was deep in mine and his face was super close.
“Leah, my love, we cannot delay in getting you fed and rested. We need to get back home. There is much we need to discuss but more, there is much that needs to be done. Teffie and Cosmo have captured Katrina and Marcello. The Council has sanctioned their torture and burning and I need to get back and see to that. So now I need to find you food, feed you, get you in a decent bed with sheets that don’t feel like cardboard, you need to rest, we need to talk then we need to go home.”
Okay, there was a lot there.
First, he’d called me his “love”. He’d never done that. Never, ever, ever.
Second, The Council sanctioned torture and burning?
Third, Lucien was going to “see to that”?
“What’s going on?” I repeated.
“Leah –”
“Lucien,” I cut him off. “What is going on?”
“We’ll talk about it later, after you’ve eaten, you have some of your strength back and we’ve moved to a different hotel.”
“We’ll talk about it now.”
“Later, Leah.”
“Now, Lucien!” I snapped, still fatigued, definitely, but not so fatigued I was going to fall for his games. Not again. And he needed to know that. “I want to know what’s going on, now, not later. I don’t want to die ‘at home’
as you put it. I don’t understand why you’re delaying it. I don’t get why you’re still playing me. Just do it. Drain me and get on with your life.”
His brows shot up. “Drain you?”
“Yes,” I hissed. “I knew when I left that you’d hunt me and I knew leaving you gave you the right to feed until I was dead. So what are you waiting for?”
His brows knitted, his eyes narrowed but contradictory to the ominous look stamped on his features, his hand left my hair to frame the side of my face.
And furthering his contradictions, his voice was soft and sweet when he replied, “I’m annoyed with you for making the very unwise decision to attempt to escape me considering the danger you knew was inherent being away from me when you might dream. Not to mention, you and Edwina had been attacked by vampires who stated vile intentions so you also knew the dangers were not singular but many. Nevertheless, it would be reckless of me to punish you for carrying through this rash decision by killing you, my pet, considering that would significantly fuck with my plans for spending eternity with you.”
I stopped breathing.
Yes, stopped breathing.
Entirely.
So it came out in a gust of air when I forced a, “What?”
Lucien smiled and he used his whole face to do it. I’d never seen him smile that openly and the effect was staggering.
Then he dipped his face closer to mine and whispered, “I plan to spend eternity with you.”
I stared.
Then I whispered back, “You do?”
He nodded. “I do.”
“I… I…”
Oh my God!
Was he serious? Or was this another game?
“How? Why? When did you…? But you can’t,” I stammered.
“I can,” he replied.
“But, it’s against the rules,” I reminded him.
“The rules have changed,” he informed me.
Oh boy. Here we go again. Lucien doing whatever he wanted to do and fuck the consequences.
“Lucien –”
Then he wasn’t lying on top of me and I wasn’t on my back.
He was on his ass in the bed and I was straddling him. One of his arms was tight around my back holding my body close to his. His other hand had sifted in my hair, cupping the back of my head and holding my face super close to his.