Chapter Nine
Sierra gazed at the ocean and was certain she had never seen such vibrant colors all in one place. The azure blue of the sky and the turquoise of the ocean blended with perfect harmony. To her right was an outcropping of petrified black lava rock that had raced to the sea eons ago and instantly cooled to form a jagged peninsula that closed off that side of the beach. Over the obsidian rocks tumbled a trailing vine the color of an exotic, green-chested Brazilian bird.
Still balancing baby Ben on her lap, Sierra held him as he kicked his bare feet in the lumpy, soft white sand. She hoped the sand wouldn’t harm her nice dress. Mariana had given her two hand-me-down dresses, insisting she would need one for the rehearsal and a different one for the wedding. This was the nicer of the two, and already Sierra regretted that she hadn’t saved it for the wedding and worn the black-and-yellow dress tonight.
Ben leaned way over and tried to pick up a fistful of sand.
“Where’s your green truck? Here, play with this.” Sierra delivered the favorite toy at just the right moment. She thought the way he made a vibrating sound with his mouth whenever he held the truck was adorable. He was such a good little guy. She was smitten with him, which helped her to overlook the scattering of sand now embedded in the beautiful blue-green dress.
She looked up to see Tawni and Jeremy strolling hand-in-hand through the sand. She felt a momentary boost of satisfaction, knowing that by watching Ben she was providing the two of them a chance to be alone and enjoy each other in this gorgeous place. The sky was fading to a soft apricot shade now that the sun had slipped behind the ruffle of clouds lining the top of the island that was across the sea. This was an evening made for couples to stroll barefoot in the sand.
Tawni and Jeremy waved and came toward Sierra. Her sister was only a few feet away when she said, “What is my son wearing?”
“It’s a T-shirt. He was so hot from the sunburn I was trying to keep him cool as long as possible.”
“Where’s his sailor suit?”
“It’s right here in the diaper bag. I thought it would be better to wait and not get him all dressed up until he needed to look dashing.”
Jeremy leaned down and lifted Ben. “How are you, buddy? Were you a good boy for your aunt Sierra?”
“He’s been a very good boy, haven’t you, Ben?”
Tawni looked toward the grassy area. “I think we’re supposed to be over there where the tables are set up. Let’s go ahead and dress Ben now.”
The trio went to work. Sierra pulled the sailor suit out of the diaper bag, and Jeremy knelt beside Ben. He pulled the T-shirt over his son’s head while the clever little waif tried to toddle off to the water wearing only his diaper.
“Oh, no you don’t. Come here.” Sierra captured him and planted a kiss on his sandy belly. As she spit out particles of sand, Ben fought a good fight and wailed a piercing wail. Not even the green truck pacified him this time.
In the end, he was dressed as cute as could be and still exercising his lungs to their full capacity. Jeremy took the properly adorned sailor boy down toward the water in an effort to divert his attention. Tawni gathered up Ben’s toys and shook off the sand before returning them to the diaper bag.
A woman’s voice called to Tawni from the grass area. Sierra looked up at the young woman who was waving, and Sierra’s jaw went slack. The woman was wearing the same blue dress Sierra had on.
“Is that Paul’s fiancée?”
Tawni looked up and waved. “Yes, that’s Kinsey.”
Sierra looked at her sister as if she didn’t believe her. “Kinsey Mackenzie?”
“Yes. Didn’t I tell you that was her name?”
“No.” Sierra wondered what other details her sister hadn’t mentioned in her e-mails about the wedding.
“Don’t run off yet. She’s heading this way with her mom. You need to meet her.”
“I will as soon as I change.”
“Why are you going to change?”
“Tawni, we’re wearing the same dress.”
Her sister looked at Kinsey and then back at Sierra. “You are. I didn’t even notice. Do you want to borrow something of mine to wear?”
Before Sierra could manage to make her exit, Kinsey had approached with a wide, engaging smile. “You must be Sierra. Tawni told me you were coming. I’m Kinsey. This is my mom, Joan.”
They exchanged hellos, and Kinsey reached over to hold onto Sierra’s forearms in a warm gesture usually reserved for close friends. Looking Sierra in the eye, she said, “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Paul’s mom told me about how you prayed faithfully for him when he was going through a really rough stretch in his life a few years ago. His mother and I both believe your prayers for him made all the difference in his life. For a long time I’ve wanted to meet you and thank you for praying for my future husband.”
Kinsey’s words hit Sierra in an odd way. She had friends who had prayed for their own future husbands. One friend, Christy, even wrote letters to her future husband. This was a twist. Sierra had prayed her little heart out for someone else’s future husband. She didn’t know how she felt about that. She also didn’t know what to say.
“So thank you.” Kinsey gave Sierra’s arms a squeeze and pulled back. As she gave Sierra a more thorough looking-over, her lips formed a silent “Oh.” Apparently Kinsey had just noticed their matching dresses.
“I know. Crazy, huh? I’m going back to the room right now to change,” Sierra said.
“I think it looks better on you,” Kinsey said. “Maybe I should go change.”
Kinsey’s mom and Tawni offered the appropriate sort of twitter of laughter at the bride-to-be’s suggestion, making it clear that the bride should have first dibs on everything. Especially wardrobe selection.
“No, I’m going to change,” Sierra said decisively. “I’ll be back in ten minutes.”
Kinsey’s mother’s face went flat. She quickly looked at Kinsey and then at Tawni with a hint of panic in her eyes. The unspoken SOS that went around that Bermuda triangle was clear. Sierra wasn’t on the guest list for the evening events. She had assumed she was, based on the information Tawni had given her in an e-mail saying that Sierra should be at the hotel in time for the rehearsal dinner.
“You know what?” Sierra said, quickly trying to save face. “I’m so tired, with the jet lag and everything, I was thinking of just excusing myself and seeing all of you at the wedding tomorrow.”
Kinsey looked at her mom with an uncomfortable expression. “You know, with Dad not being able to come to dinner, we could… ”
“No, I…” Sierra held up her hand before Kinsey tried to slide Sierra into her father’s place at the rehearsal dinner. “I really need to go back to the room. My stomach is a little upset.”
That statement was true. Sierra did have an upset stomach. Not because of the awkward moments she had experienced in meeting Kinsey but because of the inevitable moment she wasn’t ready for. She wasn’t ready to see Paul. Not yet.
Sierra picked up her sandals, feeling like an odd variation of Cinderella who was about to flee from the festivities.
She had begun to walk away when Kinsey’s mother said, “Sierra, one quick question.” She had her planning folder out and was running her finger down a list. “What is your last name, dear?”
“Jensen.”
Without looking up, Joan pulled out a pen to make a note. Obviously the name “Sierra Jensen” was missing from the wedding guest list.
Feeling at a loss as to what to do next, Sierra offered one final attempt to close off this encounter with something positive. She turned to Kinsey. “Congratulations, by the way, in case I don’t have a chance to tell you tomorrow. I’m really happy for you and Paul.”
“Thank you, Sierra. That means a lot.” In a lowered voice Kinsey added, “And honestly? The dress really does look better on you.”
Chapter Ten
“She’s pregnant?” Jordan leaned against the side of the g
azebo and switched his phone to the other ear, repeating the question as if he hadn’t heard Derek correctly. “Mindy is pregnant?”
“Yes. Believe me, it’s a surprise to both of us. She started hemorrhaging, and they ran a simple test. That’s how we found out.”
“Is the baby okay? And Mindy, is she okay?” Jordan asked.
“They let us know that she could easily miscarry.” Derek’s voice was low and tight with tension.
“Oh, man. I’m so sorry, Derek. So sorry for you guys.”
“Mindy’s sleeping right now. She seems okay, from what all the tests showed. No concussion, which is a miracle. I’m going to go find something to eat. This has really come at us hard and fast.”
“Is there anything I can do?” Jordan realized how pointless such a question was, but he had to ask.
“No, you’re where you’re supposed to be. Just pray for us, will you? I’ll keep you updated.”
“I will be praying. And if you guys need me there or whatever, just let me know. I’ll come back.”
“No, don’t start getting all heroic on me. You stay there and do what you need to do. I’ll let you know how things are going here. We’ll just take this as it comes.”
“Okay. Well, call me anytime, all right? Sorry I couldn’t grab your calls earlier today.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll text you if I can’t reach you. I just didn’t want to text about the baby.”
“I understand.”
“Thanks, Jordo. I’ll talk to you later.”
Jordan stood beside the fairytale–like gazebo surrounded by striking, tall red ginger plants and rich green ferns. He looked out at a picture-perfect peach- and rose-colored sunset, but all he could do was blink and swallow the lump that had grown in his throat. He couldn’t imagine what Derek and Mindy must be going through. Here he was, in paradise, and their lives had gone into a dark place.
He prayed fervently for their child’s life, for Mindy’s healing, and for Derek as he tried to hold it all together. Even though Jordan couldn’t do anything, he still wished it were possible for him to drive to the hospital right now, be with them through the night, and then come back to shoot the wedding in the morning.
Jordan remembered that he was supposed to be taking pictures now at the rehearsal dinner. He drew back his shoulders and filled his lungs with the salty air. Trying to clear his thoughts so he could focus on the work ahead of him, he headed toward where the group was gathering. In the soft twilight shades, the area prepared for the lawn party looked enchanting. Flickering tiki torches surrounded the clutch of people while the evening breeze ruffled the white tablecloths’ draped edges like a flock of roosting doves. The mellow sounds floating from a musician playing a slack key guitar stretched out beyond the circle of tables and drew longing gazes from visitors passing by.
Thoughts about Derek, Mindy, and their unborn child followed Jordan down from the gazebo. All this beauty fell flat on his spirit. Moments like this were meant to be shared. Life was meant to be shared. He suddenly felt like he was very much the outsider at this event, alone, and not connected to anyone. He was simply commissioned to capture the magical moment for others.
Jordan told himself that he couldn’t do anything for Derek and Mindy, but right now he could do this. He could capture a beautiful moment for someone else. That reminder was enough of a shake to bring him back to the moment and set to work.
Sierra opened her eyes in the darkened hotel room. She was alone in her queen-sized bed. Last night she had fallen asleep with her arm around Ben and vaguely remembered Tawni and Jeremy returning to the room, taking Ben, and wedging him in between them in their bed. After that Sierra knew she had fallen into a deep sleep, relieved not to be dozing with the subliminal awareness that she mustn’t let Ben roll onto the floor.
The digital clock on the nightstand said it was 5:44. Outside their closed sliding glass doors the first streaks of morning were lightening the sky. Sierra rolled over and thought of how her appreciation for mothers everywhere had elevated.
Last night Jeremy had brought Ben back to the hotel room only half an hour after Sierra had returned and changed out of the blue dress into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. He said Ben wouldn’t calm down enough to sit with them at the rehearsal dinner, so Jeremy was going to try to get him to eat something in the room and then see if he could take Ben back.
“Jeremy, let me take care of him,” Sierra offered over Ben’s continuing tantrum. She was pretty sure all he needed was to get out of the itchy sailor suit and be allowed to romp around in his diaper while his sunburn calmed down.
“No, I can’t ask you to do that. You’ve done enough already, Sierra.”
“Jeremy, this is your brother’s rehearsal dinner. You need to be there. Go. Seriously, I’ll take care of Ben.”
Sierra’s prediction was right. Once she had Ben stripped down to his diaper, she sprayed his back with the sunburn soother, and he was a different boy. She ordered room service, found some soft Hawaiian music on the clock radio, and the rest of the night was a breeze.
That was, until Sierra tried to get Ben to go to sleep. His fascination with Sierra had worn off after she changed his diaper for the fourth time that day. He kicked, squirmed, and found great delight in trying to run away from her.
How her mother had managed to raise Sierra and her five siblings without experiencing a nervous breakdown was beyond Sierra. She had a feeling that the nicest thing she could do for Jeremy and Tawni was offer to be on baby Ben duty for the next twenty-four hours so they could be free to fulfill their roles at the wedding.
That meant that if Sierra was going to have any time to herself today, it had to be now. Stealthily she pulled her new bathing suit out of her suitcase along with a wraparound sarong. Changing quickly and quietly in the bathroom, she left a note saying she had gone swimming and would be back before eight o’clock.
Then, grabbing her flip-flops and closing the door with extra care, Sierra made her way down to the beach where the new day was beginning to show its shining face. Her bare feet hit the cool sand, and she lifted her chin to feel the fresh breath of the trade winds scrambling her unbrushed hair. She wasn’t the only early bird out on the beach. Her original thought had been to take a walk along the shore and then swim in the spacious hotel pool. As soon as her feet slid into the water at the shoreline, she knew the ocean was the spacious pool she wanted to swim in that morning.
Sierra slowly walked into the calm morning swell and lowered herself into the cool saltwater, feeling her skin tingle. The gentle plunge woke up all her senses. With long strokes she swam as if she were heading for the island positioned across the wide blue expanse. Once she was far enough past where the small waves were breaking, she swam parallel to the shore.
Behind the hotel, farther inland, the green slopes of the huge island volcano blushed with the new day’s golden glow. As Sierra swam, she watched the sun rise from behind the volcano, accompanied by a fleet of thin clouds the shade of pink rose petals. It was going to be a beautiful day for a wedding.
She continued to float and paddle about, watching the shore as a few more eager vacationers came down to the nearly vacant beach. One of them, a dark-haired guy, caught her attention. He was tall but not too tall. His build was solid but not too muscular. She liked the way his hair seemed to be styling itself in the breeze, sticking straight up in the front.
As Sierra watched with her chin just above the water’s edge, the guy pulled off his shirt, tossed it on the sand not far from Sierra’s clothes, and walked straight toward the water. Without hesitation he strode into the ocean and dove into the curling wave that met him head-on. He came up on the other side of the foamy wave with a shake of his head that scattered the salty droplets. Then, to Sierra’s surprise, he let out a whoop that could only be a cry of delight.
From her viewpoint, it didn’t appear that he had noticed her bobbing along about twenty yards from him. His shout to the new day seemed to come from a spon
taneous heart, and the expression made Sierra smile. She wanted to relax and enjoy that same sort of lighthearted interaction with this spectacular place, and more importantly with the One who had created all this beauty.
The guy swam parallel to the shore in the opposite direction from where Sierra was treading water. He made purposeful strokes all the way to the outcropping of dark volcanic rocks.
Sierra felt a little shiver. She wanted to swim after him, as silly as that sounded. She wanted to ride in the wake of his energizing motions and feel her spirit lighten the way it had when he had let out his joyful holler. Sierra knew Mariana would tease her if she ever told her what she was feeling right now. First, because Sierra was the eternal optimist, according to Mariana, the one who brought sunshine and cheer to every situation. Second, Mariana would laugh because Sierra never chased guys the way Mariana did. If anything, Sierra was known to go in the opposite direction whenever a guy in Brazil showed her special attention.
But everything inside Sierra at this moment was urging her to swim as fast as she could to catch up to the joy-bringer who had brought a smile to her face.
Giving in to the impulse, Sierra swam toward the rocks. She kicked like crazy and scooped fistfuls of water as her arms carried her forward. She had no idea what she would say if she caught up with him. If she could turn invisible, she would. All she wanted was to share this moment with someone else.
That’s when it hit her how alone she felt.
Even in Brazil with Mariana and all the supportive people from the mission, she was on her own, disconnected from home, family, and all that had been familiar while she was growing up. Being back in the US made her realize how cut off she had been. It also struck her that, even though she was reconnected with part of her family for the wedding, she was still the odd-numbered adult. Of course Aunt Sierra would watch Ben. She was single. She had no one to sit with at the wedding or the reception. What was it that Mark had written in his e-mail about why she was so well suited for this new position? It was her single status. She was easy to move around because there was only one of her.