“Sounds like fun,” said Janine. “How can I help?”
“Well, I thought you could act out one of the parts, and also kind of guide us through the process,” said Derek.
“I don’t know,” said Janine. “I mean, I’m glad to help, but I don’t know that much about legal procedure. I’ve only taken a couple of courses in it.”
“Well, you know more than I do,” Derek assured her. “Me and Claudia know some stuff from watching Citizens’ Court on TV, so between us, we should be okay.”
“Claudia and I,” said Janine.
“Claudia and you what?” said Derek.
“You said ‘me and Claudia,’ ” said Janine. “You should have said ‘Claudia and I.’ ”
“Oh, right.” Derek was smiling. “Whatever you say.” He raised his eyebrows at me, and I gave him a little smile and a shrug. “Okay, let’s get started,” he said. “Todd, I think you should be the judge. Janine and me can be witnesses, and Claudia can be a lawyer.”
Todd picked up the hammer from his Lil’ Carpenter set and started to bang on the TV stand. “All rise, please,” he said.
I giggled. “I guess he’s watched Citizens’ Court, too,” I said.
Janine was just standing there, frowning. “Janine and I,” she said.
“What?” asked Derek.
“Not ‘Janine and me,’ ” she said. “ ‘Janine and I.’ ”
“Oh, right,” said Derek. “Sorry.” He turned to pick up a pad of paper and some pens.
“Janine,” I whispered. “He’s only a little kid. If you correct him every time he makes a grammatical mistake, we’ll never get finished.”
She nodded. “All right. I’ll try to resist the impulse.”
Derek handed me the pad. “Okay, Ms. Lawyer,” he said, grinning. “Let’s get started.”
In case you’re wondering, Kristy’s idea had been to set up this courtroom atmosphere in order to force Janine into telling us her secret. She figured that enough talk about truth and honesty would cause Janine to break. So now it was up to me to get the ball rolling.
“Ms. Kishi and Mr. Masters,” I said. “This court is now in session. You are both extremely important witnesses. Have you been sworn in yet?”
They shook their heads. “Is this really necessary?” asked Janine. “Maybe you should just get started on telling us about the plaintiff and the defendant.”
“No!” said Derek. “We have to do it right, or else it won’t count.”
“Oh, all right,” said Janine.
“Put your hands on this book,” I said, holding out a copy of Charlotte’s Web. Janine and Derek touched the book. “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” I tried to sound very serious, and kind of threatening.
“I do,” said Janine, smiling.
“I do,” said Derek. He sounded subdued all of a sudden, and he looked very nervous.
Todd was sucking on the end of his hammer. “Okay, judge,” I said to him. “We’re ready to start the questioning.”
“I think you’re supposed to call him ‘Your Honor,’ ” said Janine.
“Oh, right,” I said. “Anyway, here goes. First, I want to repeat how important it is for you both to tell the truth. Remember, once you begin to tell lies, it’s hard to stop.” I glared at Derek and Janine. Derek had a funny look on his face. “Once you start to lie,” I continued, “you keep digging yourself in deeper, and the lies begin to ruin your life. Lies are very, very dangerous.” I looked straight at Janine as I said this, hoping to make an impression. But then I heard a strange noise, and I realized Derek was crying.
“I can’t stand it,” he said. “I have to tell somebody the truth. I told a lie and now it’s ruining my life, just like you said.”
“Derek!” I hissed. “What are you doing?” I nodded toward Janine.
“I don’t care,” he sobbed. “I just can’t stand it for another minute. Here’s the truth: I’m not a kissing expert. I haven’t kissed lots of girls. In fact, I’ve never kissed a single girl in my life! And now I have to, and I’m scared.”
I rolled my eyes. Derek wasn’t telling me anything new. The members of the BSC had already figured out how scared he was, and why. Why did he have to pick now to break down? He’d blown our whole plan. Then I saw Janine kneel to hug him, and I felt ashamed of myself. Poor Derek! He’d really been suffering. I gave him a big hug, too, and I could see that on top of everything else, he was upset about ruining the plan. “It’s okay,” I whispered in his ear. “We’ll get her some other way.”
I was so frustrated by how our plan to trap Janine had failed. And what made things worse was that Janine had no idea the afternoon had been a total waste. She kept saying she was sure Derek had gotten some “wonderful material” for his class, and that she felt sorry for Derek because his lies had gotten him into such a mess. She didn’t seem to realize her lies had gotten her into a mess, too.
By Saturday, when I sat for Derek and Todd again, I was sick of thinking about Janine and her secrets. I just wanted to have a good time playing with the boys, and to forget about solving any mysteries. I’m not saying that I wasn’t still curious about Janine; I just needed a day off. As I walked to the Masterses’, I resolved to spend the day simply having fun.
“Hey, guys,” I said as I reached the Masterses’ driveway. “You look like you’re having a blast.” Todd was riding around on his little bike, which has training wheels, and Derek was practicing moves on his skateboard.
“We are!” said Todd. “Look what I can do!” He zoomed up the driveway, made kind of a shaky turn, and zoomed back down.
“All right, Todd,” I said. “You’re a great bike rider.”
“Check out my moves,” said Derek. He stepped onto the skateboard and rocked it back and forth. “Just like the guys at Muscle Beach, right?”
“Where’s Muscle Beach?”
“Oh, it’s out in California,” said Derek. “It’s this place where all the coolest skaters go to show off their stuff.”
“Neat,” I said. “Hey, you guys go on riding. I’m just going to let your parents know I’m here.” I knocked on the door, and Mrs. Masters answered it.
“Oh, hi, Claudia,” she said. “Thanks for being on time. We’re just about ready to go.” She reached for her car keys. “The boys have been having such a good time with you,” she said. “They really like that detective game you’ve been playing.”
“Oh, right,” I replied. “Well, I have fun with them, too.” I wasn’t about to tell her that playing detective was more than a game. She probably wouldn’t like to know I was encouraging her boys to spy on people. All the more reason, I thought, to give the detective work a rest.
After the Masterses left, I sat outside on the curb and watched the boys ride around for a while longer. Soon, though, they wanted to do something else.
“Let’s go see what Janine is doing,” said Derek. “I bet we can crack that case if we follow her today.”
“Yeah! Let’s play spy,” cried Todd. “I promise to be really quiet.”
“Sorry, guys,” I said. “I think we better leave Janine alone for a few days.”
“I’m really sorry I messed up our plan,” said Derek. “I can’t believe I did that.”
“Oh, Derek, that’s all right,” I replied. “I think you were under a lot of pressure about that kissing stuff. I just hope you feel better now that you’ve told the truth.”
“Oh, I do!” he said, smiling. “I really do.” Then his face clouded over. “But only you and Janine and Todd know the truth. I still have to figure out what to do about my friends.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll do the right thing when the time comes,” I said. “Now, how about a game? Let’s see,” I said, thinking. Sometimes it’s hard to come up with games that will work for kids who are different ages. “I know!” I said, after a moment. “How about Animals?”
“Animals?” asked Todd. “How do you play that?”
??
?Well, I first pick an animal and pretend I am that animal. You two have to guess what I am. Whoever guesses first gets to be the next one to act out an animal.”
“Cool,” said Derek. He sat down on his skateboard, and Todd sat next to him.
“Okay,” I said, thinking quickly. “Here goes!” I started to lope around, bent over, with my hands hanging down low. Once in a while I’d stop and scratch myself. I made little grunting noises, too.
“A gorilla!” yelled Todd.
I straightened up. “That’s right,” I said. “Your turn.”
Todd thought for a second, and then started to run around the yard, barking like a maniac.
“Dog!” yelled Derek. Todd nodded, but he kept running and barking for a few minutes, enjoying being a dog. When he was done, Derek stretched his neck out as far as it could go. He made ears by holding his right hand behind his head. He looked kind of graceful, if you can imagine that.
That’s when I realized that Derek really is a good actor. He’s not just pretending to be Waldo on the show. This may sound corny, but the fact is that Derek has a special gift for actually becoming something or somebody else. He’d chosen a hard animal to act out, but it only took seconds for me — and Todd — to realize what he was. I let Todd be the one to guess first.
“Giraffe!” cried Todd.
“That was great, Derek,” I said.
Derek blushed. “Thanks,” he said. “I like this game. I guess I miss acting sometimes.”
We played a few more rounds, and then, just as Todd was being a very convincing penguin, I heard voices behind me. I turned around and saw all four Pike boys — and Vanessa — walking up the driveway.
“Hi!” called Nicky. “What are you guys doing?”
“Hi, Nicky,” I said. I turned to Derek. “Didn’t you and Stacey have a little talk about inviting kids over without checking with the baby-sitter first?” I asked.
“I didn’t invite them!” cried Derek. He looked a little nervous, and I could guess why.
“We’re here for a demonstration,” said Byron.
“Yeah,” said Adam. “A demonstration from an expert.”
“Right,” added Jordan. “An expert demonstration.” The triplets folded their arms across their chests.
“Of kissing!” added Nicky, as if it were necessary. “And Vanessa’s all ready to be kissed!”
I looked at Derek. He looked as if he’d rather be just about anywhere but his own driveway. “I think I hear the phone ringing,” he said, desperately. He began to edge toward the front door.
“No way,” said Byron, blocking his path. “We’re tired of waiting. We want to see how you do it.”
I had the feeling the Pike boys were testing Derek, as if they knew, somehow, that he’d been making up all those stories about what a great kisser he was. I stepped closer to the kids. “Okay, guys,” I began. “Let’s —”
“Wait a minute,” said Derek. He took a deep breath. “There’s something I have to say.” He paused and looked at me.
I nodded at him, telling him to go on.
“I’ve never kissed a girl in my life,” said Derek. He let out a big breath and looked around at the Pikes. “I’m no expert. I don’t know anything at all about kissing. And I’m really, really scared about having to kiss somebody on the show.” He hung his head, waiting for the teasing to start.
I held my breath.
Byron stepped forward. “Hey,” he said, slapping Derek on the back. “We knew it all along!”
“Y — you did?” asked Derek.
“Well, maybe not all along,” said Adam.
“But we were starting to wonder,” said Jordan.
“Does this mean I get to go home?” asked Vanessa. She looked extremely relieved. “See you later!” She ran down the driveway.
“Hey!” yelled Byron. “You owe us money!”
“Yeah,” shouted Adam. “You don’t get to keep it if you didn’t kiss him!”
Vanessa just kept on running.
“We put together all the money we had,” Jordan told Derek. “We gave her two dollars and thirteen cents, just to kiss you.”
Nicky looked disgusted. “Now we have to figure out how to get it back,” he said.
“I bet we can come up with an idea,” replied Derek. “Let’s see …” He frowned, as if he were thinking hard.
“Come on, Todd,” I said. “Let’s you and I play Animals by ourselves.” I figured we should let the boys be alone for a while. They could talk “boy talk” and patch up their friendship.
Todd and I left Derek and the Pike boys alone for the rest of the morning, and by lunchtime they seemed to have forgotten the Kissing Expert episode. Nicky and the triplets went home looking happy; they had figured out a foolproof plan for getting their money back from Vanessa.
“They’re going to find some really ugly baby pictures of her,” explained Derek as I made the boys tuna fish sandwiches. “And they’ll threaten to bring them to school and show them to everybody unless she gives the money back.”
“That should work,” I said, smiling. “So, is everything okay now?” I asked.
“Yup,” said Derek. “I really learned a good lesson. You know, I think sometimes I lie when I feel nervous or upset about things. Remember when I first came back to school and I made up that story about a mean kid?”
I nodded.
“Well, that was just because I was nervous. But you know what? It didn’t do any good to lie. Not that time, and not this time. I’m never going to lie again, I swear.” Derek looked very, very serious.
“Boy, you really have learned a lesson,” I said. “I’m proud of you. It must have been hard to tell the truth today, but you did it.” I knelt down and gave Derek a hug.
“You helped me,” he said. “You and Janine.”
“Janine?” I repeated. I couldn’t believe my ears. Janine was the biggest liar in Stoneybrook these days. How could she teach Derek about telling the truth?
“Sure,” said Derek. “She was so nice to me the other day. You know, when I began to cry during our pretend courtroom?”
“That’s true,” I admitted. I remembered the way Janine had hugged Derek.
“She made me feel like it was good to tell the truth. That’s why I was brave enough to do it today.” He smiled. “And it worked out really, really well. I can’t believe how I lucked out. I thought the guys were going to be mad at me, but instead now they feel sorry for me because I have to kiss a girl!”
“Well, I suppose Janine does know that telling the truth is a good idea,” I said. And then I remembered something I learned in school last week. I learned about this thing called irony. Irony’s kind of like when something happens that is the opposite of what you would expect. I’m certainly not explaining this well, but take it from me, it was very ironic that Janine would be the one to teach Derek about the benefits of telling the truth!
“You and Janine are the greatest,” said Derek, interrupting my train of thought. “Will you tell her I said thanks?” Then he jumped up from the kitchen table. “Never mind, I’m going to do it myself, right this minute.” He ran to the phone before I could stop him.
“Hey, Todd,” I said. “Why don’t you get your bulldozer and we’ll go outside.”
A few minutes later Todd was pushing his Tonka bulldozer around in a pile of dirt near the driveway. Luckily, he’s the kind of kid who enjoys playing by himself, because lately he hasn’t been getting much attention. I’d been too busy with Derek and his kissing problems and Janine and her secret. Todd just tags along. But he seems happy, so I decided I shouldn’t worry.
“I’m making an airport,” he explained. “So me and Derek can land our jet planes here.” He made some bulldozer noises.
“Cool,” I said, as Derek ran outside. “Hey, did you talk to Janine?” I asked.
“No, the line was busy,” he said. “I tried three times!”
“That’s funny,” I said. “I’m the only one at our house who stays on the ph
one that long. Maybe you called the wrong number. What number were you dialing?”
Derek rattled off a number, and my mouth dropped open.
“That’s my line!” I said. “That one shouldn’t be busy. Nobody uses that phone but me and the members of the BSC.”
“Well, somebody is using it right now,” said Derek. “I’m sure that’s the number I called.”
“This is weird,” I said. “Who —” Suddenly I realized who was using the phone. “Janine. It must be Janine!” I shook my head. What was she doing using my phone without permission? It made me mad — and very curious. I just had to find out who she was talking to. But then I remembered my resolution to forget about Janine while I was sitting for Derek and Todd. I could talk to her when I got home.
“Should we put a tap on the line?” asked Derek. He was standing next to me, looking as curious as I felt.
“No,” I said, smiling. “This is my sister we’re talking about, not a criminal, remember? Hey!” I cried, changing the subject. “Check out Masters International Airport over here!” I led Derek to where Todd was playing. “Look at this runway,” I said. “This is going to be great.”
That was all it took to distract Derek. After all, he’s a kid first, even if he is also a TV star and a great detective. He knelt down in the dirt with Todd and spent the rest of the afternoon playing with his little brother.
It wasn’t so easy to distract myself. As I watched the boys play, all I could think about was The Mystery of Janine. What was she up to? Why was she lying to my parents? Who was that guy she had met? And why was she tying up my phone? Maybe it was time to confront her after all. I was going to tell her everything I knew, and I wasn’t going to let her put me off or ignore my questions. I was going to get some answers.
* * *
I was all psyched up by the time I arrived home that afternoon. I ran right upstairs and knocked on Janine’s closed door. “Yes?” she called.
“It’s me, Claud,” I said.