So the missing cow was found and now I felt comforted. Sherven after a kind and gentle greeting went back to his agricultural works . At noon , while I was opening my napkin to eat my piece of bread , I saw that 'sherven' 's dog came joyfully toward me taking a basket full of fruits with his teeth , put it in front of me . Sherven was thinking and was worrying about me . By realizing that I was not left absolutely by my own and that I had someone who payed attention to me in my very misery , I felt a sort of joy in the secret garden of my soul . Sherven promised that he would help me , in the middle of all my loneliness , my sorrows and helplessness , suddenly this feeling spread a sweet warmth into my heart . In these moments , under the impact of the miraculous effects of love and friendship ,by looking at everything around me and by running in all sides , I realized that I was very happy .

 

  16

  Almost two hours were spent in stillness , and the sheep were softly and quietly pasturing and I was standing under a big tree watching the limpid and deep water flowing on the bed of a stream . I was thinking that how comes that in this world where nobody cares about the poors and the miserables , there are still few people able to help and to love the weaks and the needy ones without expecting any reward , without any interest or selfishness ...

  I couldn't continue my thoughts because on the other side of the stream I noticed the spread of a thick dust mixed with the bleat of sheep and all of this with the company of a sheepherd . Maybe I was lucky that I would not be alone in that vast pasturage but when the dust lightened I could recognize the sheepherd who stared at me with his eyes full of mockery . I began shuddering , how could I forget his macabre games in the orphanage when he was trying to laying me in the hole and covering me with the soil ? I was astonished and didn't know what to do , staying or fleeing . He was the same 'gorgon' with his usual attitude and look , I wondered how a mean boy like him became a sheepherd . Meanwhile he called me with a tone of mockery in his voice and said :" hey , look at you ! finally I could meet again my little friend after all these years ...you ended in sheepherding too , just like me ! but be aware about your flock because all around here there are lot of wolves and they might attack you and your flock and devour you all !..." He said that and began laughing loudly with his harsh and diabolic tone of voice and continuing his way , he left me stupefied . I was thrilling for some few minutes after his departure . But suddenly my duty 'called' me and my attention has been focused on my flock , the sheep were pasturing with their usual innocence and quietness , then I noticed that the white cow was missing again . In my disappointment I didn't know what to do , going after the missing cow and leaving the flock to its own or staying with them . Indecisive and tired I sat under a tree and was thinking about the fresh punishment which awaited me at night . Hopeless and sad I relied my head on my knees and spent the whole afternoon in distress . Suddenly I felt the muzzle of a dog on my face , awakened I recognized the german shepherd of 'sherven'. The beautiful dog was staring me with his eyes full of affection and kindness. Few moments later 'sherven' appeared , wearing his hunt cloths and his brilliant brown leather boot. Once informed about all my concerns he said :"don't worry , I will accompany you till the villa and will explain to the 'charitable woman' that watching and taking care of a rebellious cow is over of your of your capacity".

  It was twilight that we reached the farm , bringing back the flock to the cowshed . The family members of the 'charitable woman' arrived at the same time at home , coming back from their daily playful distractions . The 'charitable woman' by seeing 'sherven' , welcomed him with lot of care and attention , first because 'sherven' 's family was one of the influential families of that region and then because they knew each other for some long time . That night , based on the talk between them and the discussion about the issues they were exchanged , I learned that it was this same 'sherven' who encouraged the 'charitable woman' to adopt me as her child after explaining to her all my troubles in the orphanage and the story of my life,while she was still interested in charitable works .

  When it has been question about the white cow , apparently once again she returned back by her own to the cowshed , and I felt comforted by learning that the cow was not lost at all . As I said earlier , the strange behaviour of the white cow was her new born calf that has been separated from the mother in the first days of its birth , and the stained cow attracted by her new born calf , each day after running some miles , the distance between the pasturage and the cowshed , upset , she joined her 'baby' to nourishing it . The company of 'sherven' in that night spared me from being beaten and punished , and we avoided the bitterness of the 'charitable woman' . It was decided that till the maturity of the calf , the 'mother and baby' will stay together . So the charge of the stained cow of value has been removed from my shoulder .

 

 

 

  17

  Being relieved from the responsibility of the stained cow , I forgot my usual desperation and the deprivation from being with the other children and playing games with them seemed bearable . In the vast pasturage I walked freely and was running after the butterflies and the little birds and kept myself busy and distracted by them . Sometimes I encountered 'gorgon' and apparently his behaviour was changed and at least his wickedness didn't find for the moment some ground for showing itself , and this fact lightened my fear and worries at some level .

  Sherven came almost each day visiting me in the field and brought me some fruits , also his german-shepherd was becoming familiar with me and usually it came alone toward me and showing its affection , playing and running after me or jumping and then standing up on his two feet , made me laugh and then taking a corner of my shirt in his teeth played with me , so he was always there to amuse and distracting me . In the evening when 'sherven' came visiting me , I gathered my flock in some place and was ready for returning back it to the farm , 'gorgon' with his big flock appeared too and was moving toward his place , he noticed 'sherven' and recognized him and shaked his hand as a sign of greeting . Seemingly his reaction in front of his old opponent was changed too , because he said respectfully :"lord 'sherven' , I wonder why I 'm so happy to meet you again , indeed we were really immature in the past for being so hostile to each other " , then he began staring 'sherven''s face to see and to test the effect of his words on him . Sherven , surprised by the unexpected change in 'gorgon''s behaviour , replied thoughtfully :"in fact all hostility and conflicts are the result of the ignorance". Then 'gorgon' satisfied by his 'smart' words added : " then you accept me as your friend , if so I'm ready to serve you as possible " , and in company of his flock , he continued his way .

  18

  Obviously I enjoyed some relief at this time , although I was not allowed to play with the other children freely and participating in their joyful games , I was happy that I didn't have to worry about things like in the past , so my distress was lightened

  Sherven came visiting me sometimes in the evening in the cabin of the old servant . One of those nights , he asked the 'charitable woman' the permission of bringing me with him in some distraction park . He was in the company of his little brother who had the same age than me . We went to a very beautiful park which with all its old trees around seemed like a magical place commanded for our joy . Not too far , a very big pool which was rather looking like a lake reflected the lights of the colourful lamps of a luxurious restaurant . In front of the restaurant a place was designated for the orchestra and the people who were dancing and singing . When the orchestra began playing some traditional music , all the young people there were dancing and laughing joyfully . Sherven had an appointment there with his 'fiancee' , so after meeting her , he bought a big pie for me and his brother and then went joining the dancing group with h
is fiancee . At this moment , I felt so enthralled by the melody played by the orchestra and the sound of the joyfull young people who were dancing , that I forgot all my troubles and desperation .

  ......

  Me and 'sherven' 's brother , we were eating our pie . Not too far from us , a very beautiful blonde girl who attracted the attention of everyone was sat on a bench beside of a young man with a very distinctive look and manner , they looked to each other with such a fascination that as if they had found each other after a very long and hard separation and now they were supposed to be together forever and achieve their dreams of happiness . I learned that they were 'fiances' and will marry very soon . It was the first time that I was seeing the beautiful girl , but the young man was not unknown to me . He was one of the person who accompanied the dignitary personality who came visiting our orphanage after that period of desolation . He had finished his studies in medicine and because of the war and the social troublesome he has been appointed to serve and work in the military hospital . He adored his duty as a medical doctor and as a researcher , so now he was ready to think about his marriage and preparing his wedding ceremony . The young doctor was called 'dr.pagra' and I had already heard his name in some assemblies or gatherings . He was well-known for his charitable and humanitarian works . Despite of his young age he had published some articles about the new and effective ways of curing some chronic illnesses , which have been noticed with great consideration and provided for 'dr.pagra' fame and popularity . Also , from the discussion they had I learned that he was working on some projects about organ transplant which was very new and strange on those days .

  This encounter and the discussion exchanged between those two young people that night ,left an impact on me that I could never forget it not because that was interesting in itself but because of the bends of the destiny and because of what happened to them later .

  I could see the moonlight in between the trees of that park and the sound of a soft music were so enthralling for my soul that I forgot completely my misery and loneliness and all the troubles of my sheepherding...

 

  19

  Days, weeks and months were spending and I was still busy with my sheepherding work and I did it as good as possible . Now I was seven and I could understand everything perfectly . People were always talking about social unrest and the chaotic circumstances caused by a civil war . I knew actually that I was born in between of a worldwide war and I grew up in a desolated surrounding where we only heard about conflicts, armed attacks , unrest and troubles . Even our countryside location was not spared and we always heard the awesome and terrifying sound of cannons and the successive burst of bombs which shaken the house and all of us . Also our little town has became the prey of the flames and was burning in fire because of the hostiles armed groups in conflict . The city was governed sometimes by this and another times by that rival forces .

  I remember very well all these hostilities and conflicts but what I couldn't understand was the reason of that , the reason for destroying or burning all fields and farms or the buildings in the cities and killing each other . Meanwhile what seemed to me even more horrible than this sort of open war , was all the personal and private settlement of accounts which was current in that time , in this sort of conflicts , no bomb and no cannon were used , but silently it caused the ruin and destruction of lot of families and population ; for unknown reason , we heard the disappearance or death of some landlords or ordinary people , the burning of some farms and fields , the immergence of lot of lands under the water of the streams or rivers which have been deviated toward these lands , the beautiful gardens became suddenly a desolated ruin , the girls and women were raped , the money and the properties were stolen , slandering each other was usual and all these private and personal hatred , resentments and grudges were much more devastating than the fire of the cannons and the bombs .

 

  If the wars between nations had some 'credible' reasons for protecting the territorial integrity and the security of the country or as a defensive reaction , there were also another sort of 'silent' hostilities and hatred between the people and the personal settlement of accounts which have impressed me deeply , because for this sort of crimes I couldn't have any logical explanation apart deducing that the selfishness , jealousy and insanity inserted in human nature were the cause of these deadly consequences . I was witness of the human insanity very closely and my personal experience is the tale of the cruelty which has been inflicted to me and hurt me forever as a victim.

 

  As I said earlier I was still occupied by my work of sheeperding and time to time I encountered 'gorgon' who was sheepherding too , while pasturing his flock , he behaved quite politely with me , so as a child I began trusting him and forgetting his previous wickedness . Each time he shared his rye bread with me and after getting some milk from a goat , we soaked our bread into the milk and ate it with great appetit . Because of the shortage of food in that period of civil war , this milk and bread was a sort of luxuriant meal for me . One afternoon , at our sheeperding sheet , 'gorgon' beside of the milk and bread , offered to me a small packet of dried grappes . I ate all of this with delight and 'gorgon' was playing his flute with a sort of nonchalence , meanwhile I felt thirsty , taking my little vessel I intended going to some spring in the surrounding . Gorgon told me that there was a stream around that he will show me the way , so he proposed me to follow him . I noticed a change in his look and I began suspecting his intention , but although I was scaring , I didn't dare to disobey because I was fearing his anger and his violent reaction , so I followed him . After traversing some cliffs ,trampling stones and soil and descending the hill , we arrived to a limpid stream which was flowing peacefully , all around the stream the leaves of the old trees were shaken by a soft breeze . Gorgon's look became more and more wild and it reminded me his previous cruelty and wickedness , in between of my hesitation and fears , the german-shepherd of 'sherven' reached me and began barking . In a wink , 'gorgon' lifted me with his harsh hands and put me down near the stream which was two meters below the land , 'sherven''s dog followed me too , I was so thirsty that I start drinking stream s water just like the thirsty animals and then I raised my head up from the water for some breath and I noticed that 'gorgon' looked like a criminal who is enjoying the weakness and the helplessness of his victim . Paralyzed I was fixed at my place and I just realized that I was lost , he took me in his hands and wanted to estrangulating me , in a second I gathered all my forces and screamed with such a voice that a seven years kid is able to produce , this reaction surprised 'gorgon' , so he took a knife and put it on my throat and full of anger he whispered at my ear :"if you scream , I will cut your head". By seeing the bright knife and by hearing this 'silent' threat , I was about to lose consciousness and falling away because of the shock of this terror , suddenly 'sherven' s dog roaring jumped at 'gorgon's shoulder and attacked him many times , then tried to keep 'gorgon's foot in its teeth and pull him back , but 'gorgon' in his fury shot the dog with his foot and threw it back . This time the dog attacked 'gorgon' s neck with his teeth , 'gorgon' out of himself left me and took his sheepherding stick and beat the dog so strongly on its head that the poor animal fell away in a pityful complaining voice and tried to reach the top of the hill , meanwhile I took the time to moving up toward the top of the hill , but before reaching it ,'gorgon' in his ardent craziness reached me and kept my foot and pulled me so harshly and so cruelly down of the hill that my face , hand and arm were injured by the harsh contact with all the sands and stones of the hill and the blood began flowing from all these parts of my body . My state of mind and my situation on that moment was too pathetic . My heart was beating like a head cut chicken and was about to getting out of my throat , 'gorgon' took my neck in his hands and was pushing it in his fury and I was moving vainly hands and feet and wa
s waiting to be slain by his knife and being slaughtered like a defenseless animal . Suddenly I heard the sound of the fall of a heavy thing . In a wink I noticed the boots of 'sherven' who was standing there like an angry lion . Gorgon , just like an upset and coward wolf left me behind and was preparing himself for a bloody and deadly battle . Sherven's face was red out of anger and resentment and while thrilling he shouted :" you again ! mean bastard !" and before finishing his cuss attacked 'gorgon' on his face , 'gorgon' with his knife in hand and in a defensive posture , threated 'sherven' that he will kill him and rushed on him , but 'sherven' with address and a clever move avoided that rushing and skillfully took 'gorgon''s fist and twisted it so strongly that the knife fell away on the ground . Sherven threw away the knife as far as possible and it seemed that he didn't want to harm a defeated opponent , so he stood up and moved a step back and was ready to continue the fight , the dog was upset and barking non-stop and attacking 'gorgon' , 'sherven' shouting runned away the dog , meanwhile 'gorgon' taking quickly his sheepherding stick in his hands and raising it above his head with a furious gesture struck with all the strenght of his hands on 'sherven''s neck . For few seconds , 'sherven' remained immobile and dizzy , but very soon he came back to the reality and took the stick still in his opponent hands , twisted it and threw it in the stream , meanwhile 'gorgon' hit 'sherven' s face with two or three punches , 'sherven' a bit dizzy didn't move too much but the two opponents were still fighting , in a second , 'sherven' empowered by a sudden anger pushed away 'gorgon' and then skillfully struck 'gorgon''s chin , this time 'gorgon' fell away , defeated , he remained powerless on the ground . Meanwhile , some cheerings were heard from the top of the hill and then we noticed few people who admired 'sherven''s courage and bravery by clapping in their hands . One of them was 'sherven''s father who cheered up his son . At this time , some people tried to awaking 'gorgon' from his apathy by pooring water on his face and then helped him to standing up , this one, humiliated and pathetic moved away and disappeared from our sight . Sherven , looking at me , by a sign , made me understand that I should gather my flock and leaving that place as soon as possible . One of the witnesses there, cheered 'sherven' in his turn and thanked him for having got rid that region from a wicked creature like 'gorgon' and added that no one was in safety because of all his wickedness .