My heart was in my throat again, my skin cold and clammy in the sweltering heat. ‘Let me out.’ I was going. I could do it. ‘Is there a rope or a metal chain or something of the like?’
Wulfyn heaved a breath. His eyes closed and his mouth firmed. ‘Great Lady. You cannot go out there.’
‘I was no asking permission. Is there something I can use to guide us back once I reach them?’
Staring hard at me then huffing a dark laugh, Patrick dipped a finger into his utility belt. He flicked out a handful of metal balls. He held up one of the thumb-sized spheres rolling around his palm. ‘This is an emergency flare. The Verak designed them for use during solar storms.’ He lifted his other arm. Dangling from his wrist were a pair of clunky bronze goggles with bug-eyed lens. ‘These protect the wearer for a quarter-span before the reflective film burns away.’ I lunged for them. He jerked the equipment out of reach. ‘You mistake me, lass. We have the tools for the job, but that does no mean you’re strong enough to survive it.’
‘I do no have time for this.’ I flailed an arm towards where my males floundered. ‘They’re right there. They’re so close.’ I grabbed for what I needed to bring them home. ‘Give them to me.’
‘What’s the plan, cousin?’ He tossed the metal beads to the floor. They pinged and rolled. ‘Why do you think none of us have moved to help? Do you think you’re the only one who cares? Who think of them as family?’
I loosed a terrified cry as the flares scattered. ‘It’s dangerous. I get it.’ I tried to dodge around his wiry bulk, but he persistently blocked my path. ‘Please!’
Uncle Fergus gathered the spheres. When his hands were full, he stuffed them into his pockets. He picked up the goggles and gave the lenses a spit rub.
I pounded a fist against Patrick’s armoured chest. ‘There’s a chance.’ Wasn’t that all the human spirit needed? I ducked past and dropped to my knees gathering up the leftover spheres my Uncle missed. I fiddled with them to see how they worked. I went to snatch the goggles from Fergus, who eyeballed them as if he’d never seen such a contraption. I was hauled onto my feet. ‘What are you doing? Let me go!’
Fiercely dumped me upright. He shook me until I worried my head would roll right off my neck. ‘The Verak cannot see.’ His sibilant accent was bitingly cold. ‘I come from a planet of three bright suns and even I can not see outside in this storm. The goggles are designed for Verak sight. There is a reason nature made their eyes as they are. You will not save them.’ He released me. ‘You will die with them.’
‘To hell with you then.’ I spun to Venomous. ‘Get ready to open the shield, okay?’ I looked around. ‘I just need some headgear.’
Shaking his head, a jerky gesture of refusal, he put his back to the panel.
‘The controls are right behind you.’ What was the problem? I stared. I realised by his set expression and downturned lips it wasn’t a case of cannot but a choice of will not. I glared. I took an aggressive step but stopped my advance when his four heavily muscled arms flexed, emerald green scales glinting then flashing gold in warning.
My eyes narrowed. Right. I dealt with a warrior alien able to snap me in half. My hand drifted over my blaster.
‘Jesus Christ,’ Patrick snapped. ‘I did no just see that.’
My face reddened. I clenched my hands into fists. ‘Guardian?’
‘I cannot overpower a Rä. The Paladins and I will fight if you command it.’ Wulfyn paused, spoke carefully and let his reluctance seep into his tone. ‘It would be a mistake, and not just because of the treaty you would break should we attack unprovoked.’
‘He’s letting them die. You! All of you. Goddamn you!’
‘It is not his intent. Our intent.’ Wulfyn claimed a hesitant step, expression anguished. ‘You know this.’
‘Sìne.’ The iciness in my cousin’s voice was like nothing I’d heard before.
Panic and anger fused together as a hot ball in the pit of my stomach. I was ashamed. Backing down wasn’t an option. I shuddered. They weren’t going to let me go. Tears welled in my eyes, and I blinked them away. They were supposed to be on my side. They were supposed to help me fight for my Veraks survival. ‘O–Open the f–fucking shield.’ Disbelief coloured my shout. ‘Open it.’
‘I open the barrier and we are unprotected.’ Venomous sounded pained. ‘It’s not a slow dissipation. It will be gone until reactivated, and should a heat wave crest upon us at that moment we would burn. We would lose our shelter. There is no where for us to go. We would die. My beloved mate and my son would perish.’ He lowered his head. ‘I beg forgiveness, friend of my Rä’Na. The danger outweighs the gain.’
‘Outweighs the gain?’ My chest collapsed on itself. I sucked in a series of gasps as I flushed a horrible red. ‘Maybe for you.’ I choked on my fear and on my fury. ‘Not for me, you selfish prick.’
Logically what he said made sense, but there was nothing logical about love.
If there was I would never have taken a chance on Éorik and Beowyn. I wouldn’t have seen how sweet life could be when you were loved with a passion beyond reason. I would have remained ignorant of the wonder of my partners respecting me, trusting me with what they deemed precious and admiring how I raised my child. I would have missed the chance to watch them feel appreciative of the knowledge I’d be mother to their children one day.
I hadn’t had a day with them knowing the truth of how I felt, eagerly awaiting a long life together, love and laughter stretched before us.
Not one single day.
‘Open it,’ I screeched. ‘Open it. O–.’
‘A tantrum will no change the reality of what you’re asking.’ Patrick clamped a hand on my cheeks and yanked my head around to face his. ‘Fergie.’ He nodded at my flinch. ‘She is what you’re risking. Your clan. Lumen’s family – her newborn bairn! Wulfyn. Anja. The orphans you raised hell to protect. The hundreds of people who fled here for safety. Opening the barrier risks them all.’
‘You’re saying to….’ Leave them out there? My mind recoiled from the notion. ‘We can no just watch them die. They would never do that to us.’
‘They’d never endanger so many to save their own skin.’
My mouth opened then closed.
Horrified, I pressed a hand to it and shook my head.
The room fell into ugly silence.
Fiercely paced, his thumping tread echoing, brille fixed on the floor. His gaze darted to me, but he couldn’t hide his despair. He gravitated towards his nest-mate who watched me with pity.
I hugged my middle, cold to my marrow. If I lost them after letting myself love them I’d never be pieced together again. ‘They’re right there.’ My voice was small and broken. Éorik was hurt. Who knew what they’d put themselves through to get back to me. I was supposed to abandon them? Give up? I’d rather die. ‘Please? Oh, please do no do this. I’ll do it myself.’ I didn’t even know who I was begging. My gaze was on my feet. I couldn’t look outside and see the males I loved fumbling blindly as they fought to reach me. ‘Just turn your backs. I take all responsibility.’
Patrick reached for me. ‘Sìne, little love, we can no–.’
‘I will go.’ The declaration shattered the mounting tension. Venomous drew himself up, grim. ‘I am the fastest. The strongest.’ He glanced out the barrier, mouth thinning. ‘But we must do this now.’ He turned his head. ‘Fiercely?’
The Rä male had stopped and stared at Venomous in shock but now charged to his side, ready to help.
I exhaled as knee-trembling relief bolted through me.
‘Are you sure, Venom?’ Patrick clapped him on the shoulder.
‘My Lumen would want me to help.’ His tongue flickered. ‘And I owe ThunderClaw a debt. This pays it.’
Thinking about Lumen made me want to puke. When she heard how I’d behaved she’d never speak to me again.
I looked away from the warrior preparing to risk his life. My stomach knotted. Was I so far gone to put my needs above all others?
I’d do that to people I thought of as friends? Had come to love as family? Could I look Lumen in the eye if the worst happened and her mate died trying to save mine?
How could I not ask this of them? I needed my males back.
Didn’t I deserve to be happy too?
I pressed my fists to my ears. ‘Hel Bihter is unmated. He’s fast and he’s–.’
‘Gone to ground.’ Patrick looked disgusted. ‘We can no find him because he does no want to be found.’
‘Horde,’ Fiercely said with a nasty twist to his lips, ‘do not help unless it benefits them.’
The force field winked out.
Scorching, roaring, a blast of heat and noise slammed into me, lifting me off my feet, and my scream was lost in the mayhem of bodies falling and the building shaking. Then the deafening noise and skin-blistering was gone, leaving behind a sweating, gibbering, trembling huddle of confusion.
Venomous had remained standing, barely, and now charged for the console.
Lurching onto his feet, Patrick rushed to the barrier and slammed a fist into it. Energy arced in slashes of white light. ‘Da!’
Wiry and white haired, a wrinkled wisp of a man plodded the charred, smoking concourse towards the melting hell beyond, goggles in place, dropping glowing balls of light from his pockets.
Patrick held out a hand. His voice broke. ‘No one follows. It’s too dangerous and it makes no sense to demean his sacrifice. We already have to open the shield again to let them in.’
Venomous’ hissing-snarl of defeat was a guttural, unearthly thing, furious and anguished. ‘How did he know how to work the controls?’
Patricks mouth twisted. ‘Crazy and old does no mean stupid. He always was a canny bastard.’ He knelt, fingertips to the floor. ‘Go on then, old man.’ A tear ran into his stubble. ‘Go.’
I clamped both hands over my mouth and moaned to my knees.
I am nineteen and pushing. My vagina is exploding. I think I’m dying. Or I’m shitting something the size of an eighteen wheeler.
Uncle Fergus sits in the corner masticating pudding.
All I can think is how does one chew pudding?
A nurse in purple scrubs with buck teeth is telling me to pull myself together.
‘I can’t,’ I cry. ‘It’s been hours. I’m tired.’
‘Sugarcane is sweetest at its joint,’ Fergus barks. Pink blubber dribbles down his chin whiskers. ‘Roaring lions kill no game.’ He grins, watery green eyes sparkling.
‘Why will you no talk to me?’ I glare at him. Sweat drips in my eyes. It stings. ‘Tell me it’s going to be alright.’
‘Ye call the forest that shelters ye a jungle.’
I slam my head back into the pillow. I stare at the lights above. I need him to hold me, to support me, to see me through this moment, but he can’t. He’s not with us anymore. His mind is gone. I don’t understand why he insisted on coming in the ambulance when he barely recognised me anymore.
A cold, papery hand touches my forehead and chapped, dry lips kiss my cheek. ‘Push, little love. Ye can no give up. I raised ye better.’
I start hard. I stare at the eyes that seem bright and focused. ‘Uncle Fergie?’
‘Push.’
I screamed, ‘Uncle Fergus,’ from so deep inside my vocal cords strained in a bright burst of pain.
Fergus’s bow-legged gait carried him to the apex of the curved bridge.
Fiery whips cracked above, but he was blessedly unscathed.
Gnarled hands pressed against the metal railing, catching his breath, but he snatched them back and into his middle.
His shoulders squared and he plodded on.
‘Oh, God, please.’ I shifted from foot to foot, squeezing my arms around myself so hard I’d have bruises.
The flares were brilliant points of blue light against the reddish hue melting over everything.
As designed, they drew the Veraks attention and they spotted Fergus as a fierce gust of air knocked him off his feet. He fell into a puddle of liquid that splashed against his face. He flailed, head thrown back and mouth open in a scream we couldn’t hear, scrabbling and rolling until he was clear of it. He lay supine then curled up on his side.
‘Ach, fuck.’ Patrick dropped his head and beat a fist against the floor.
I flinched at the sight of my Uncle.
That could of been me.
My legs lost strength. I teetered back then plopped down onto my ass, still holding my middle, keeping everything churning inside from falling out.
Moving with renewed purpose, Beowyn and Éorik reached Fergus at the foot of the bridge and knelt over his body. Their rapid movements and jerky postures betrayed their argument.
With a curt slash of the hand, Beowyn grabbed the old man off the ground and slung him over his broad shoulder. They moved quickly over the bridge, easily following the stippled trail Fergus left behind.
‘Get ready.’ Venomous’ hand hovered over the controls. Glancing over his shoulder, his eyes took on a deeper depth. ‘Nest-mate. A healer and….’
‘Should the barrier fall I will do whatever I can to save our female. Keep your mind on the task at hand.’ After sharing a fleeting look of understanding with his primary nest-mate, Fiercely left the room at a lope, sharp features pinched.
The Verak made their way sown the concourse at speed. They seemed relatively unharmed, which made the horrific injury to Fergus worse.
Their forms grew larger and larger until I could make out distinct features.
Light-headed, my hands tingled, and my breaths came as squeaky pants.
‘Brace.’ Venomous lifted the force field a moment before they barrelled into it. He re-engaged it in time to block a fierce twist of searing wind, but even those few seconds it took to protect the palace seemed a lifetime.
We’d experienced it minutes ago yet the noise was frightening. The raging inferno pushing inside inspired the same levels of primal terror, especially knowing if the barrier was damaged we’d have nowhere to hide from it.
Already on my ass, I was pushed over the tiles by the force of the wind, head down, my cries lost along with everyone else’s. It seemed like hovering over a bubbling pool of lava in a volcano a split second before eruption.
For a moment nobody moved.
Stunned, speechless.
Mouth parted as he panted, tawny fur ruffled and matted with grit, Beowyn shifted the dead weight on his shoulder into his arms, cradling it like a baby. He carefully lay Fergus on his unburnt side, muttering soothing nonsense.
Éorik peeled off Beowyn’s other side. He collapsed onto his knees then onto his back. He moaned, sweat pouring off his face. A grimace warped his expression into something feral, sharp and long canine teeth bared, hands clutching at his cocked knee.
I crawled on my hands and knees then staggered up.
I didn’t know who to go to first.
Patrick skidded along on his knees to get to his Da.
Éorik didn’t look like he wanted to be touched.
Sobbing, I flung myself at Beowyn.
He caught me. He let me wrap my legs around this waist, lock my ankles at the small of his back and shriek and wail in his poor abused ears. His eyes blazed black and silver in his sharp alien face, and as he held me, I buried my face in his disgustingly dirty chest and cried like my heart was breaking. I struggled to get closer, as close as possible, nails scratching at his back, wanting to disappear into his skin.
He crushed me to him and exhaled for so long I worried he’d pass out.
‘I love you.’ My nose was running, my eyes watering. My gaze was on his face then over his shoulder to check on Éorik, then back on Beowyn as I buried my face in his throat. ‘I love you, I love you. You are not allowed to do this ever again. My heart can no take it.’
He chuckled, nuzzling my wet face.
I scrambled off him and tugged on his hand, wanting to squeeze Éorik to death next but not ready for Beowyn to be out of reach. I jerked to a halt when I saw Pa
trick huddled over Uncle Fergus.
Crispy skin rose from wrinkled flesh in black flakes. The cracked edges revealed blistered pink lesions across his hips, chest and arm. His left leg was savaged. White bone shone through layers of melted skin and bubbling flesh.
He smelt like cooking pig.
I gagged, pressing the back of my hand to my lips. Bile flooded my mouth and the sour smell made me sicker.
Another glance at the pink and red mush that was his body, I lost it.
I staggered away to heave onto the pretty mosaic tiles laid out beneath me.
A team of medical personnel rushed from the inner sanctuary towards their Great Alpha. Once they saw Fergus on the ground, they recoiled, horrified to see an elder in such a state.
The lead physician overcame his shock and barked orders his assistants tripped over themselves to complete.
Uncle Fergus was transferred onto a hovering gurney, wrapped in cooling gel blankets and rushed to the infirmary for healing–Patrick at his side.
Hand pressed to my chest, I gratefully accepted the water canister Wulfyn pressed on me to wash the sour taste from my mouth.
I offered it to Beowyn.
Head tipped back, he gulped half of it down, rivulets dripping into his beard as his mouth overflowed.
He knelt to offer the rest to Éorik.
The Commander turned his face away, groaning when another team of medical staff swarmed him.
I stared at Éorik, not sure what I was looking at. ‘Your foot.’ I blinked, flabbergasted. ‘It’s gone.’
Looking at it then up at Beowyn and me, a tinge of unease crept into his expression. ‘Am I as hideous as I think I am?’ He managed a faint smile.
The worry in his tone snapped me out of it. I crouched and cupped his battered face to press a kiss to his cracking lips. He grunted and lifted a hand to hold the back of my head.
A large palm settled on my back, applying gentle pressure.
I moved aside for Beowyn to deliver his own kiss, smiling when he broke the tangle of tongues to knock his black horn against Éorik’s ivory one.