Page 2 of Love Thy Roommate


  “Hey, that’s not true,” she replied with a laugh, tossing a small teddy bear at him, which he caught and set on her desk. “I’m five feet tall, thank you very much! And a lot more than three inches across.”

  “That’s very true,” Fink agreed, darting back into the room as Libby yelled at him from the bathroom down the hall. “Seriously, your girls have grown exponentially since we were in youth group together. But that was at least five years ago, so I guess it’s to be expected.”

  “Fink!” Jake and Damian both yelled, as Damian smacked him on the back of the head.

  Miriam shook her head. “Don’t even worry about it, you guys – I’ve spent enough time with him growing up; I’m used to it. Talking about my breasts? It’s far from the worst he can do.”

  “How long have you guys known each other, anyway?” Jake asked, curious.

  “Oh, god – since I was born, probably,” she answered, with a confirming nod from Fink. She moved to the closet to hang up the rest of her clothes. “His sister, Shoshanna, is my age – we all went through Hebrew school and youth group together. Fink was forever trying to make out with all of her single friends until he left for college. ”

  “Shoshanna did the same thing with all of my friends,” Fink pointed out defensively. “She still does, in fact! Every man to live in this house – myself excluded, for obvious reasons – has been attacked at least once.”

  Jake and Damian shuddered at the memories.

  “Yeah, she’s definitely an…interesting girl. We haven’t talked or hung out much since she moved down to Austin to go to UT. She’s so into her sorority and partying – we don’t have much in common anymore.” Miriam’s eyes held a trace of sadness for a brief moment as she shut the closet door. “Oh, well. Times change, I guess. Hey, Fink, remember that summer you decided you wanted to start going by ‘Fink?’ Shoshanna refused to accept it and kept calling you by your first name anyway.”

  “Oh, I remember, alright,” he replied darkly. “She still won’t call me ‘Fink.’ It’s my name, people! It’s been almost a decade!”

  Libby had come back in and was helping Miriam with her bedding. “And what’s your real first name?” she asked, finally giving him the attention he had craved all morning.

  “Donald,” Jake and Damian supplied in unison.

  “He got a lot of Donald Duck jokes until they moved the summer before high school,” Miriam added, a touch of pity coloring her voice. “There was a lot of quacking.”

  “Can we change the subject, please?” Fink requested over the group’s laughter, annoyed. “Let a man keep his dignity, geez.” He nodded toward the bed. “Miriam, you haven’t explained why your bed is so unnecessarily large. We all just have full-size mattresses, and we’re a lot bigger than you.”

  She shrugged. “I had a full at City Parc, and my ex would stay over a lot and take up half the bed. I hated it, and so when I picked out my bed yesterday, I decided to upgrade.”

  “Ugh, Josh,” Libby snarled, surprising the guys with her intensity. “I’m so glad he’s out of your life. What a waste of oxygen!”

  “Wow, that’s…that’s a lot of anger, there,” Damian commented, backing away from Libby to a spot on the floor next to the bed.

  “Anyone who cheats on my best friend would have to be the scum of the earth,” she scowled. “Josh is a horrible person.”

  “Story time!” Fink cried as he flopped onto Miriam’s freshly-made bed, nearly knocking her off of it in the process. “Let’s hear all about it so we can hate him, too.”

  “Guys, it’s really not a big deal,” Miriam protested. “We don’t need to go into it. And Fink, I’m sure your mother has told you at least some of it already.”

  “I’ve got this,” Libby assured her, patting her shoulder before turning to the guys. “Josh was a year ahead of Miriam in high school. He convinced her to go out with him at the beginning of her junior year – even though they had nothing in common except that they were both taking a computer class and they went to the same temple—”

  “Josh Weintraub?” Fink interrupted. “I remember him from youth group! He was a year behind me. Such a douche.”

  Libby nodded. “Yeah, that’s him. Anyway, so after he graduated, Josh decided they should see other people, which really just meant he wanted to have a lot of meaningless sex with college girls. So we graduate and come out here, move into the dorm, and he finds her and decides he wants her back. And she’s a sweet, wonderful, understanding girl, so she gives him another chance. But he spends two years being a complete tool – moreso than in high school, even – always canceling dates but then showing up at our room at two in the morning asking to sleep over.” She paused for breath. “Then last summer, we moved out of Bruce because I wanted to be closer to my job in Dallas, and Josh already had a roommate lined up for her at City Parc, where he lived with a group of guys – this artsy girl, Mei.” Her expression grew angrier just as she spat out the girl’s name, and the guys were transfixed. “The whole year, we thought it was weird that Mei never went out on dates or brought guys home even though she dressed like a total skank. But two weeks ago, when the semester ended—”

  “Libby,” Miriam groaned, obviously not looking forward to the end of the story.

  “—we walked in on them on the last day of finals. They were in the living room and didn’t even notice us come in!” Libby finished.

  “Wow,” Fink breathed; he loved a good dramatic story. “So they were having sex right there in your living room?”

  Miriam looked pained, like it hurt her just to think about it.

  “She was on her knees in front of him,” Libby answered for her, disgusted. “They’d been going at it behind her back for three years and finally managed to get caught – we came back to the apartment on a whim, without any warning, and we caught them in the act.”

  “That’s terrible,” Jake murmured, watching Miriam’s troubled expression, as Damian shook his head.

  “You know,” Fink said thoughtfully, “I think I remember my dad telling me that the Weintraubs weren’t all that welcome at temple events anymore. Word must have gotten around.”

  “Yeah, that was my mom,” Miriam nodded morosely, the story clearly having taken its toll on her. “She’s kind of a gossip, you know, and she was never a huge fan of Josh’s parents to begin with – she always thought they had pushed him to pursue me because my family has more money than they do. She got the whole Sisterhood to act like Janice – his mom – doesn’t even exist, and my dad told Josh’s dad that he no longer has a voice in the Men’s Club. His parents probably aren’t too pleased with him right now.”

  “Sounds like he’s getting what he deserves, then,” Jake offered. Miriam gave him a weak smile in return.

  They heard the front door open and voices call up the stairs. Jake jumped up, his posture ramrod-straight, causing Fink to laugh at him.

  “Seriously, when are you going to get over your fear of my dad?” he teased Jake, leading everyone into the hallway towards the stairs.

  “It’s not fear,” Jake defended himself as they descended the staircase. “It’s just…healthy respect.”

  Having overheard, Ben Finkelstein clapped Jake on the back when he made it to the bottom of the stairs, making him flinch. “That’s why you’re my favorite, Jake.”

  “Thank-you-sir,” Jake mumbled quickly, his face red.

  “Did you enjoy the movie, Mom?” Miriam asked, pasting a smile back on her face. If any of the parents noticed it was fake, they didn’t let on.

  “Oh, it was really nice,” Barbara Silver answered. “Very artsy, but I like that. And long! When we saw the time, we came back to take you kids out to lunch before we head back. So, any requests?”

  “Ooh, Aunt Barb, can we go to Hannah’s?” Libby asked hopefully. “I can get something light there and then we can go to Beth Marie’s after for ice cream. I have a shoot next week so today’s my last day for carbs until after it’s over.”

  “S
ure, Libby!” Miriam’s mother replied indulgently. It was easy to see where Miriam got her trademark cheerfulness from – she had even perked up some at the mention of ice cream. “Does that sound good to everyone else?”

  Jake had never actually been to Hannah’s-on-the-Square, but he knew it wasn’t cheap. He exchanged an uneasy look with Damian – they both worked hard for every penny they earned.

  “Our treat,” Miriam’s dad clarified.

  “Sounds great!” the guys chorused, relief etched on Jake’s and Damian’s faces, and they all set off to the cars out front.

  Chapter Three

  “Miriam, your parents are awesome,” Damian announced happily as the five of them filled out a booth at Mack’s, a bar on the Square, that night. “They took us to lunch at that fancy restaurant, bought us all ice cream, and took us grocery shopping!” He gave Miriam an excited look. “Do you think they’d consider adopting me? I don’t think my granny would mind.”

  “You can certainly try,” Miriam responded distractedly, looking over the menu. “I’ve never been here before. I thought you had to be twenty-one to come here at night.”

  Jake shook his head. “Most people don’t know about the loophole – if you’re under twenty-one, you have to get here before nine. That’s when they start carding at the door. You can’t drink though – the servers and bartenders will still check your ID.”

  “Jake knows these things; he’s the owner’s right-hand man,” Fink informed the girls as he placed his menu back on the table.

  “Oh, you work here?” Miriam asked Jake, having recovered her good mood from that morning. She looked around the room, smiling. “I like it.”

  “Good,” Jake grinned back without even realizing he’d done it, before quickly returning to his usual grumpy demeanor. “Man, I sure don’t miss working nights and weekends. Those were three very unpleasant years.”

  “How long have you worked here?” Libby inquired, ignoring Fink, who was leering at her across the table next to Jake.

  “Five years – ever since I started here as a freshman. I fell in love with this place on my first day of school – I had all morning classes, and I had been wandering around the Square all afternoon by myself before I walked in here, kind of by accident, since it’s off the beaten path a little. The place was totally empty, save for one or two regulars, and Charlie – the owner, Charlie Mack – offered me a coffee and asked me to sit with him right over there.” He pointed to a booth at the back, close to the bar. “I didn’t have anywhere else to be – no job yet, I’d been looking for one for a week – so I just sat with him, drinking coffee, for two hours, talking about random crap. I’m getting ready to head back to the dorm – West Hall – to meet these guys for dinner, and he asks me if I’ve found a job already. So I told him no, but that I was looking for one, and he said, ‘You can start tomorrow. Six. Don’t be late.’” He waved in the direction of the bar, catching the attention of an old man pouring a shot. “I started out working a few nights a week, Thursday through Sunday – did that for three years – before the old manager, Roy, quit and Charlie gave me his job. So now I work ten to six during the week – nine to five on class days – with the weekends off. It’s pretty nice working here, actually – I can wear my own clothes instead of a uniform, I’m included in a lot of the big decisions—”

  “And you and your roommates can eat and drink for free!” the old man from the bar interrupted him pleasantly, having approached their booth. “Evening, boys – who are your beautiful companions tonight?” He extended a hand first to Miriam, then to Libby. “Charlie Mack, at your service.”

  “Charlie, this is Miriam, our new roommate, and her friend Libby,” Jake introduced the girls. “Miriam moved in today and we wanted to show her a piece of Denton she hadn’t seen yet.”

  Miriam beamed up at Charlie. “I love your bar, sir. It feels so homey.”

  Charlie grinned right back. “Well, I’m glad to hear you feel that way! That’s what we strive for here. Jake’s done an excellent job helping me make this place what it is today. He’s the closest thing to a son I’ve got – don’t know what I’d do without him here. Graduation will be hell on me!”

  “We don’t need to worry about that yet,” Jake reminded him. “I’ve still got at least a couple of years left, so I’m not going anywhere for awhile.”

  Charlie waved a server over. “You kids have a good night – I’ll be in the back working on some paperwork. Your second-in-command over there should be able to keep an eye on things.” He jerked his head in the direction of the bar, where a redhead in his early twenties was helping out the bartender. “Miriam, it was a pleasure to meet you – and I have to say, you’re much nicer to look at than their last roommate! Let Nick know if you need anything – Shelly’s got your table, but she’s still new.” He walked off and was replaced by a girl who looked to be around Miriam’s age with a platinum blonde braid that reached down to her hips.

  “Hey, guys,” she greeted them. “What’ll it be tonight?”

  “Beer,” the three men answered in unison.

  Shelly giggled, flipping her long braid behind her back as she glanced shyly at Damian. “I think we’ve got that new microbrew in from Gainesville,” she suggested.

  Jake nodded. “Yeah, that came in yesterday right before I left. We’ll try that.”

  Libby glanced over the menu again. “I’ll have a martini, not too dry. And not too strong, either; I have to drive home later.”

  Shelly looked expectantly at Miriam, who was still looking over the menu. “Oh, you have cream soda! This is the first restaurant I’ve been to that has it!” she exclaimed. “I’ll have that. And a cheeseburger and fries, with ranch.”

  “Five of those, I think,” Fink amended, checking for agreement around the table.

  “No, just four,” Libby corrected him. “I had ice cream after lunch; I’m done for the day.”

  “Libby’s a model,” Miriam explained after Shelly had gone to put in the order.

  Fink’s eyes widened, as did his grin. “That sounds fascinating. Tell me more.”

  Libby rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I model. It pays the bills until I start my own fashion line after graduation.”

  “Is this something you started doing recently?” Damian inquired, sharing Fink’s interest, while Jake really couldn’t care less.

  “Oh, no,” Libby answered, “I’ve been modeling since I was a kid. That’s how Miriam and I met – we both modeled for the same agency.”

  All three of the guys swiveled their gaze to Miriam. “You were a model?” Fink asked, aghast. “I can’t believe I never knew that! And you’re so…little.”

  Miriam’s face was pink – it hadn’t taken long, for Jake at least, to figure out that Miriam didn’t enjoy being the center of attention. “Well, you know,” she mumbled. “Child models are supposed to be small. I quit the business before I started middle school – I had already hit puberty and there wasn’t much call for child models that were already out of training bras. I didn’t really like it that much, anyway; it was just something my parents were into. It did help me meet my best friend, though.” She smiled at Libby.

  “Okay, so!” Fink clapped his hands together, forcing the attention back to himself – just as he liked it. “I’ve been thinking, and I’ve come to the conclusion that we should help Miriam find a rebound.”

  “Oh, I don’t think I’m ready for another relationship,” she protested.

  “Who’s talking about a relationship?” Fink shrugged. “I’m talking about a one-night stand – something to get you back in the game!”

  Miriam blanched. “I’m definitely not ready for that,” she shook her head emphatically.

  “Oh, come on!” Fink tried to persuade her. “Get back on the horse! You know, sexually.” Shelly quietly passed around their food, trying not to interrupt the conversation.

  “You did say you wanted to try new things,” Libby unexpectedly pointed out, stealing a few of Miriam’s frie
s. “You’ve never had a one-night stand before – you’ve never even been with anyone but Josh – so why not try something new?”

  “You see?” Fink continued happily. “The most beautiful woman in the room agrees with me. And if you’ve never had a one-night stand, now is the perfect time! One-night stands are a rite of passage in college. Just ask Damian; he’s got a substantial record of them.”

  Damian nodded in agreement. Jake, however, noticing Miriam’s level of discomfort, told her, “You don’t need to have a one-night stand – you shouldn’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Just listen to some angry chick rock and make a Josh voo-doo doll or something like that, and you’ll be fine.”

  She gave him a grateful smile. “You sure you won’t mind the noise? I’d be singing along pretty loudly while I make that voo-doo doll.”

  Jake smiled back. “Just stick to the Jagged Little Pill album – I love me some Alanis Morissette.”

  Miriam laughed. “Well, then ‘You Oughta Know’ that it’s ‘Ironic’ how—”

  “Ugh, that’s enough of that,” Damian interrupted, pushing his empty plate away. “Now if you’ll all excuse me, I have no problem with one-night stands, and our hot blonde waitress is a prime candidate, so I’ll be over by the bar for a little bit.”

 
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