If only he had the courage to claim it.
Sighing, Edward’s gaze drifted down to the small craving knife Meagan had left for him. If their roles had been reversed, he would never have had the strength to allow her to make her own decision. He would have tied her to the bed to keep her from leaving, from hurting herself.
“She truly loves me,” he whispered, hearing the same awe in his voice that he felt in his heart. Once again, he looked down at his leg, useless and awkward, and suddenly, he understood that she did not care. Did not mind.
His wife still loved him.
Turning away from the table and the knife upon it, Edward walked toward the door, his hand resting on the handle as he hesitated, old doubts stilling his movements.
Still, as the sun streamed in through the window, bathing the interior of the cottage in a warm glow, Edward could not remain where he was. Meagan was right. If he wanted to leave, he might as well end his life here and now.
But he could not.
More than that.
He did not want to.
There was too much to live for.
As the last of his shackles fell from him, Edward pulled open the door and stepped outside into a new day. In the distance, up on a small slope, he caught sight of his wife as she stood in the strong wind, her hair and skirts blown about, making her look so…alive.
Selfish or not, he could not give her up.
She was his…as he was hers.
The way it had always been.
In that moment, a blood-curdling scream broke the peaceful scene, and Edward was flung back through time, his mind dragging him to the terror and panic of the battlefield. Instantly, his body tensed, and he ducked low, his leg stretched out beside him, his cane lying useless by his side.
“Mummy! Help!”
Erin?
As his head jerked up, Edward caught sight of his wife running like a madwoman down the small slope toward a cluster of trees. Even from a distance, he could see the terror on her face, and his heart twisted in agony.
For a moment, Edward remained frozen to the spot before an old fire ignited within, and he pushed himself back onto his feet. Letting his gaze fly over the scene before him, he spotted his daughter, −his little girl, −high up in Matthew’s new tree, her little hands wrapped around a branch, her feet dangling in the air.
Edward almost doubled over at the sight, fear surging through his body.
Then a single thought entered his mind, and everything else ceased to matter.
I cannot lose her!
Chapter Thirteen − To Fall & Rise
Despite the warmth of the sun on her back, Meagan’s limbs were ice-cold as she raced down the small slope between her new cottage and the manor house, her gaze fixed on the tall fir tree in the distance.
Too far! Her mind screamed, as her eyes held on to the small girl dangling in the air. It’s too far! Ye’ll never make it!
Fear gripped Meagan’s heart at the realisation. Even from a distance, she could see Erin fight to keep her grip upon the branch, her small face distorted with effort and terror. She would not be able to hold on much longer.
Then something moved near the tree, and Meagan could not help but feel proud as she saw her son climb the tree after his sister, his long arms and legs pushing him upward with precision and care. He had truly grown up!
Still, would he be able to pull her up? Would she not drag them both down?
Meagan’s stomach lurched at the thought, and she doubled her efforts, her feet flying over the ground as fast as her legs could take her.
“Erin!”
Her husband’s voice cut through the haze of Meagan’s terror, and her head jerked around.
After being on her own for the past three years, Meagan had completely forgotten Edward’s return, his presence in their lives once more. But would he stay?
Staring at him as he stood just outside the cottage, his gaze wide open in horror as he stared at their daughter, Meagan willed him to move. Closer to the tree and their children by at least half, Edward still stood a chance to reach them in time. But could he? What about his leg? His cane? Could he even−?
The moment her husband flung himself forward, running awkwardly with his left leg held sideways toward the cluster of trees, his cane forgotten on the ground, Meagan felt tears come to her eyes.
“Hold on, Erin!” he yelled, pushing himself to run faster. “I’m coming!”
Meagan’s heart rejoiced at seeing him like this as it proved once and for all−despite his objections−that he was still the man she had married long ago. He was still the man he had always been. He might have made a mistake, taken a wrong turn; however, few people could claim to be free of error. What mattered was that he had found his way back and that he loved her…them.
When Edward finally reached the tree, Meagan breathed a sigh of relief. Still, she kept running, her gaze fixed on her husband as he started up the tall fir tree, doing his best to accommodate his stiff leg. Here and there, he slipped or could not swing his left leg over a branch to pull himself up as it would not curl around the branch to hold him. However, he kept going.
Up and up, he went.
And Meagan knew that today was truly a new beginning.
If only they could save their daughter.
***
With terror in his heart, Edward made his way up the tree, sweat streaming down his face as the rough bark cut into his hands. Still, all he could do was stare at the little girl−his little girl!−dangling with her feet in the air, her eyes wide with the same terror he felt pulsing in his own veins.
What if she fell? What if he lost her? Was there a fate worse than losing one’s child?
Gritting his teeth, Edward pushed on, ignoring the doubts that ate at his heart. He might not be the man he once had been, but he was Erin’s father. It was his duty to save her. To protect her. To keep her safe.
For the rest of her life.
And it would not end today. Not today!
As Edward willed his body to obey his commands, a distant part of him realised how foolish he had acted, how foolish his reasoning had been. How could he have ever considered leaving his family again? How could he have been so blind?
Again, Erin’s scream pierced the stillness of the day, and Edward’s heart froze as his head jerked up, half-expecting to see her falling, picturing her broken body lying on the ground.
Bile rose in his throat, but Edward ignored it, focusing on the relief he felt when he found her little hands still curled around the branch.
“Hold on, Erin!” Matthew called, sitting on a branch beside the one carrying Erin’s weight. Occasionally, he would lean over, reaching for his sister’s arm, but the look on his face told Edward that he doubted he would be able to pull her up. If she released her grip and held on to him, they would both fall. “Father’s coming for ye! He’s almost there! He will save ye!”
As his son’s voice echoed in his head, Edward could not believe the unadulterated trust and conviction he heard. After everything that had happened, after he had left his family and been absent for three years−almost all their lives−his son still believed in him.
More than ever before, Edward knew he could not disappoint his children. They depended on him because he was their father, and he would not fail them.
Cursing his leg, Edward pulled himself up yet another branch when Erin’s little voice, full of panic, called out to him. The sound pierced his heart, and he realised how much he had missed them.
How much he had missed being a father.
Being their father.
Holding on to a thick branch, Edward swung his stiff leg forward until the hollow between heel and leg came to rest on the next higher branch. Then he pushed himself upward, his leg sliding over the branch more and more until he was able to right himself. Panting under his breath, he lifted his head and found his daughter just above him. If he stood, he might be able to reach her.
Slowly, Edward began pushing h
imself to his feet before he stopped and quickly removed his boots, throwing them to the ground. With his bare feet, it was easier by far to keep his balance, and holding on to the trunk with one hand, he stood up, bending himself left and right around smaller branches barring his way.
Then he lifted his head…and her little toes touched his nose.
Startled for a moment, Edward reached out…just as Erin’s fingers slipped from the branch.
A shriek escaped her lips as she plummeted down, smaller branches scratching her arms and legs as well as her cheeks, and she pinched her eyes shut.
Feeling rather than seeing her fall, Edward acted on instinct.
As his body detected the light weight sliding past him, his arms shot out, releasing their secure hold, and reflexively grasped for the small child. Swaying on his feet, Edward felt his toes curl around the branch to maintain his balance as his arms tightened on his little daughter hanging awkwardly in his arms. Her hands curled into his shirt, pinching his skin, and she held on, burying her face against his shoulder.
Shifting his weight to rest against the trunk, Edward closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, his arms holding his precious daughter.
Safe.
She was safe.
For a long moment, Edward simply stood there, hearing her sob, feeling her little heart beat against his chest, and cherished the moment.
She was alive.
“Father, ye did it!” Matthew cheered, swinging himself easily from branch to branch and coming to sit on one near his father and sister. “I thought she’d fall, but ye caught her!”
Smiling at his son, Edward nodded, unable to find words…any words. Too overwhelmed, all he could do was smile with relief, and joy, and utter delight.
“Are ye all right?”
Startled, Edward jerked his head to the side and glanced down, finding his wife halfway up the tree as she made her way toward them, relief clear on her face. Before long, she settled on a nearby branch, her hand reaching out to squeeze his.
Swallowing, Edward nodded. “We’re fine,” he whispered, unable to look anywhere else but into her dark blue eyes…so full of life and promise.
Lifting her little head, Erin glanced up at him, a shy smile playing on her lips. Then she turned and craned her neck. “Mummy?”
“I’m here, sweetheart,” Meagan said, holding out her arms to receive her daughter.
Reluctantly, Edward released her, knowing that he could not claim an equal place in Erin’s heart as Meagan. At least not yet.
He would have to earn her trust and her love and prove to her every day that he was here…and that he would not leave.
“Mother, did ye see that?” Matthew asked eagerly, exuberance bubbling under his skin. “Father truly is a hero, is he not?”
Taken aback by his son’s words, Edward stared at his wife, who nodded her head, a mischievous smile slowly curling up the corners of her lips as she held his gaze. “I’ve always known him to be,” she said then, her eyes fixed on Edward. “Only for a moment he was the one to forget.” She drew in a deep breath, all tension falling from her. “But I think he is startin’ to remember.”
Sighing, Edward nodded. “I am,” he whispered, not wanting his children to know that he had ever thought about leaving them. “Thank ye for remindin’ me.”
“Ye’re welcome,” Meagan said, reaching out and squeezing his hand. “And don’t ye ever forget again.”
Edward shook his head. “I’d be a fool to do so.”
For a long while, they sat up in the tree, the promise of a new beginning hanging in the fresh morning air and simply enjoyed the moment.
A simple moment.
And yet, life-altering.
Then, down below by the base of the tree, someone cleared his throat, and they all looked down.
Barely able to hide a grin, Derek stood there, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “What are you all doing sitting in the tree?”
Meagan laughed, “Enjoying the view.”
Chuckling, Derek shook his head, “You might want to come down to breakfast before Kara’s finished it all. Remember, she’s eating for two…at least.”
Matthew giggled, and even Erin seemed inclined to ignore the turbulent events of that morning and head inside to fill her belly.
Slowly, they made their way down the tree, each taking turns to climb down a little and handing Erin to the other. Naturally, Matthew was the first to get his feet back on the ground and waited rather impatiently for the rest of his family. “Collin will be dyin’ to hear what happened!” he beamed, grabbing Erin’s little hand and pulling her onward to the manor house, following in Derek’s wake.
Reaching for Meagan’s hand, Edward pulled her back, his gaze finding hers. “I knew even before…,” he glanced up the tree, “…that I could not leave. I think I’ve known the moment I laid eyes on ye again.”
“Ye hid it well,” Meagan said, smiling. Still, Edward could see the strain of the past day on her face. Had it only been one day? It seemed like a lifetime had passed since he had first set foot in Huntington House.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, cursing himself for putting her through such heartache. “I shall never leave ye again. Not for a single moment.”
Laughing, Meagan stepped into his embrace. “We shall see,” she teased, her blue eyes lit up with mischief. “On occasion, I can be quite tiresome.”
Edward grinned as an echo of his old life flashed before his eyes. “Is that a threat?”
His wife shrugged. “A challenge, maybe. Will ye accept it? Or walk away?”
Kissing her fiercely, Edward then stood back, looking down into her beautiful face. “I will stay for as long as ye want me.”
A grin came to her lips. “Would forever suit ye, dear husband?”
Smiling, Edward nodded. “Very much so, dear wife.”
Epilogue
Late Autumn 1807
After almost a year of hard work, Huntington House and its surrounding cottages and farms shone in new splendour. It was a beautiful sight to behold, and Meagan could barely tear her eyes from the festive celebration held in the gardens.
Although of various social standing, people mingled freely, their smiling faces proof that love and friendship knew no bounds.
Over in the shade by the small cluster of trees that still marked the new beginning of their little family, Meagan spotted a group of tenant wives, their new babies on their arms, chatting animatedly with Derek’s sister Kara as well as friends of his and his wife’s. Beth Turner, Lady Elton, as well as Elsbeth Lancaster, Lady Elmridge, both new mothers themselves, had arrived with their husbands a few days before. It was a truly happy occasion where family and friends met and mingled…no matter their station.
Catching Kara’s eye, Meagan smiled at her, watching as the young woman handed a piece of fruit to her little daughter. Barely a year old, little Claire was already walking like one born to it, considering crawling beneath her. No matter how often she fell, she would always push herself back up onto her chubby little legs and continue.
Catching a glimpse of her own children, Meagan turned toward them, watching them as they chased each other around the tables filled with Bessy’s delicious food. Unable to chide them for their rambunctious behaviour, she smiled, brushing a hand over her flat stomach, wondering how best to share the happy news with her husband.
As though her thoughts had called him, Edward appeared beside her, gently pulling her hand into his while his other rested on his cane, his eyes aglow with happiness. “’Tis a beautiful day, isn’t it?”
Although Edward often walked with a cane, he knew he no longer needed it to keep his balance. Ever since that day when he had rushed to save his daughter, he had come to realise how capable he still was. Although he had to adapt, there was nothing he could not do. To this day, he thought it a challenge to reclaim every single part of his life, finding new ways of doing old things. He rode and worked around the house as always. He still danced with her
. And he climbed trees with his son and daughter.
Nothing could stop him.
His injured leg was a part of him, but Edward refused to let it keep him from life any longer.
Meagan had never seen him so alive. “A most beautiful day indeed.”
He chuckled, glancing around. “It seems wherever ye look, babies are born. Has it always been like this? Or am I not very observant?”
Laughing, Meagan shrugged. “Babies have always been born. Only over the past year, we’ve all become…a family, sharing in each other’s happiness. ‘Tis different now.” Watching her husband, Meagan noticed his eyes darkening. “Are ye all right?”
Sighing, he shook his head before looking at Erin running after Matthew and Collin. “On some days more than others, I feel the loss of not having been here when she grew up. One moment she was a baby, and the next, she’s a little girl.” Inhaling deeply, he smiled. “An amazing little girl.”
“That she is,” Meagan agreed, reaching for both her husband’s hands. Then she stepped to the side toward a laurel bush, pulling him with her.
A bit of a frown came to his face as his gaze turned to her expectantly. “Is somethin’ wrong?”
“Not at all.” Swallowing, Meagan looked up at him, feeling her heart hammering in her chest with a new lightness. “I know there’s nothin’ I can do to change the past, to give ye back the years ye’ve lost, but I can give ye a new chance to watch your child grow from a baby into a little person.”
For a moment, his brows creased further before his eyes opened wide with understanding. “Are ye…? Do ye mean to say…?” His gaze dropped to her flat stomach before returning to meet her gaze.
Meagan nodded, suddenly too overcome to speak.
For a moment, time seemed to stand still before Edward allowed his cane to clatter to the ground, swept her into his arms and spun her around in a circle, laughing with such delight that Meagan’s heart felt it would burst with joy.
As everyone around them clapped and laughed, sharing in their happiness, Meagan knew that life was perfect. It had not been easy, but it had been well worth it.