I hear the security door click at the end of the corridor. Jack jumps to his feet and heads out into the corridor to stand by my open cell door.
This is it then. I stand up and pull down my T-shirt. I can feel little prickles of heat break out all over my skin.
I don’t want to die . . .
Governor Giustini stops in the corridor outside my cell. He looks at the cards scattered on the floor and the bed and then at me.
‘Do you have a last request?’ Governor Giustini asks sombrely.
‘Just get it over with.’ My voice trembles over the last couple of words. I’m going to break down.
Oh, please God – if you’re up there, somewhere – don’t let me break down . .
No more words. I can’t risk it.
Don’t show them how terrified you are, Callum. Don’t show them how you want to clutch at them and beg them not to kill you. Don’t show them . . .
‘Put your hands behind your back, Callum,’ Jack says quietly.
I look at him. Strange . . . His eyes are shimmering. I try to comfort him. No words, just the briefest of smiles in gratitude for his pity before I turn around, my hands behind my back as I wait to be handcuffed.
‘D’you want a priest or some kind of spiritual counselling?’ Giustini asks.
I shake my head. I never really believed in it when I was alive, so it would be hypocritical to call for it now.
When I was alive . . .
I’m not dead yet. Not yet. Every second counts. There’s still time. I must have hope. Hope till the very end. Miracles have happened before. My cell door opens wider. Giustini leads the way, with two guards I’ve never seen before on either side of him. Jack walks next to me.
‘You’re doing fine, Cal,’ Jack whispers. ‘Be strong. Not long now.’
They lead me down the long corridor. I’ve never been this way before. Early evening sunlight streams in through the high windows and dances across the floor all around me. It’s so bright I can see the dust motes swirling through the air. Who would’ve thought that dust could look so eerily beautiful. I try to walk as slowly as possible, to drink in every sight and sound. To make each moment last a lifetime.
‘Good luck, Callum . . .’
‘Spit in their eye, Cal . . .’
‘Bye, Cal . . .’
Anonymous calls from the cells on one side of the corridor. I’m tempted to turn and study the faces behind the words but that would take too much time. And that’s the one thing I don’t have any more. I look straight ahead. The door opens at the end of the corridor. More blazing sunshine. Such a perfect day. We step out. I stop abruptly. Faces. A sea of faces, even more than when my father was about to be hanged. Lots of Crosses, come to watch the show. But the sun is before me and dazzling my eyes. I can’t see much. Besides, the scaffolding is in the way. And the noose up there, gently swaying in the evening breeze.
Don’t look at it.
I want to cry.
Please God, don’t let me cry . . .
Please God, don’t let me die . . .
Giustini and his guards move to one side of the scaffold. Jack leads me to the stairs. I climb up them. He follows.
‘Forgive me, Callum,’ Jack whispers.
I turn my head. ‘Don’t be silly, Jack, you haven’t done anything.’
‘Neither have you,’ says Jack.
I pause to smile at him. ‘Thanks for that.’
We’re at the top of the scaffold now. The noose is less than a metre away. And beneath it a closed trapdoor. I turn to look at the governor. He’s standing beside another man, a nought with blond hair wearing a black suit. The nought stands behind a long lever. The lever for the trapdoor.
My life in your hands.
I don’t want to die . . .
There’s still time. There’s still hope.
I look around, scanning the crowd, searching the audience for her. But I can’t see her. If I could just see her one last time . . . Where is she? Is she even here? Sephy. And my child that I’ll never see. Never hold. Never know.
Is she here?
Please, God . . .
‘I’ve got to put your hood on now,’ Jack says softly.
‘I don’t want it on.’ How will I find her with a hood on?
‘I’m afraid you have no choice. Those are the rules,’ Jack apologizes.
He pulls the hood over my head. I try to pull back. I’m not trying to run away. I just want to see her . . . One last time . . . The hood is over my head and hangs down to my shoulders. The world is black as night. Jack pulls my arm to lead me to the rope.
Please God, I don’t want to die . . .
Sephy . . .
Tears run down my face. Now I’m grateful for the hood.
‘I LOVE YOU, CALLUM . . .’
Wait . . .
‘I LOVE YOU, CALLUM. AND OUR CHILD WILL LOVE YOU TOO. I LOVE YOU, CALLUM, I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU . . .’
The noose is being pulled down over my head and around my neck. But I can hear her.
I can hear her. She’s here.
‘I LOVE YOU, CALLUM . . .’
Thank you, God. Thank you.
‘I . . . I LOVE YOU TOO, SEPHY . . .’ Can she hear me? ‘I LOVE YOU, SEPHY. I LOVE YOU, SEPHY.’
Wait . . . Please wait . . . Just a moment longer . . .
‘I LOVE YOU, CALLUM . . .’
‘SEPHY, I LO . . .’
one hundred and seventeen.
Sephy
The trapdoor opens.
‘I LOVE YOU, CALLUM,’ I scream frantically.
He drops like a stone. My words die on my lips.
There’s no sound except the rope creaking and groaning as Callum’s body swings slowly to and fro.
Did he hear me? I don’t know. He must have heard me. Did he say I love you ‘too’? Maybe I just imagined it. I can’t be certain. I don’t know.
Dear God, please let him have heard me. Please.
Please.
If you’re up there.
Somewhere.
BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENTS
At midnight on 14th May at Mercy Community Hospital, to Persephone Hadley and Callum McGregor (deceased), a beautiful daughter, Callie Rose.
Persephone wishes it to be known that her daughter Callie Rose will be taking her father’s name of McGregor.
Malorie Blackman, Noughts & Crosses
(Series: # )
Thank you for reading books on BookFrom.Net Share this book with friends