“If you want to stay, stay. Ross and his wife are living in Victoria and Henry’s house. They have plenty of room there. Or you’re welcome to stay with me or Block. I’d need to check with him, obviously. I’m glad to see you. Glad you found each other again. I have a million and one problems. I don’t want reluctant partners.” I couldn’t take care of anyone else.
“We came.” Peter nodded. “We’ll stay. I’m sorry we didn’t come sooner.”
I clasped my hands together. “Just out of curiosity, how did you know to find me here?”
“Logan’s vision showed you in this place. We looked it up.”
I now had so many psychics, and none of them could really do anything. What the hell was the point of any of it? “And the vision that told you that I needed you?”
“You were standing in front of a man. Well, he was both a man and not one. He wore”—his face fell—“a top hat.” Yes, Peter remembered his training as well as I did. “You were crying. Then there was an explosion. There were bird feathers everywhere.”
The thing about Peter’s power that made it different than Logan’s was that Logan saw symbols of things. I didn’t and probably wouldn’t know what any of it meant until I was through the event.
“Thanks.”
“You seem so different, Kendall.” Logan smiled, a sadness to his eyes. “I’d hoped you would still be the same.”
I patted his hand. “Are you the same?”
Were any of us?
***
Shadows danced on the porch of Top Hat’s house. I’d had to force myself to stop thinking of it as Levi’s. I’d wanted to come alone. This seemed like the kind of horrifying act I should do alone. But Block still tailed him, and if he saw me go into the house unescorted, he was bound to get out of the car and come along. I didn’t need his powers. I needed Ross’s, so I’d asked him to join me.
For a second, I could see the baby shadows for what they were—people. Not as powerful as Top Hat, but people just the same. They wanted out of their captivity.
“Why can’t they find the phoenix? If you know where it is?” Ross asked the question I’d pondered many times myself.
“For some reason, if it’s below ground, they can’t see it, can’t sense it.”
He shook his head. “And we’re going to go ahead and get him out of your ex now?”
“That’s right. Well, I’m going to get it out. And you’re going to finish it if I fail. But I won’t. So don’t worry.” I got out of the car and waved to Block across the street, sitting in one Chase’s cars. He jolted when he saw me, and then my phone started dinging
What are you doing?
What I should have done right away. Enough. They can’t find Malcolm. I’m done.
He got out of his car. “Kendall. Are you out of your mind? Don’t do this. Let someone do it for you.”
Block made this whole thing a lot less stealthy. I guessed I didn’t care. My perception of things I gave a shit about had seriously changed. If I couldn’t be secretive in shooting Top Hat, I’d be loud. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones. I’d blame them.
“Who?” I rubbed my stomach. I couldn’t feel the baby move yet. Still, I’d fallen into the habit of holding my stomach whenever I was in a rough patch. I’d done it with all of the kids, a connection between us before they were even born. “You? Got a history of shooting people I don’t know about, Block?”
His mouth fell open, and Ross held up his hands. “Don’t look at me, Block. I’m not shooting anyone.” Ross snorted. “I’m a doctor. I fix people; I don’t shoot them.”
“This isn’t a person, and I’ll do the shooting. Even though I hate guns. I’ve been shot twice. Trust me. If I saw any other way, I’d use it. I’ve got to kill the body to get the shadow out.”
Block hissed his words. “Do you have a gun somewhere?”
I held up my bag. “Yep.”
“Where did you get a gun?”
I walked toward the house. “How do you know I didn’t already have one?”
“Because you didn’t.”
The door swung open. “If you people are going to make so much noise on the street, you might as well come in.” Top Hat, using Levi’s body, spoke from the porch. “I want to show you something anyway, lightbringer. I think you’ll like it.”
I doubted it. But then again, I was about to shoot him in the head. Even as he looked at me through Levi’s eyes. I had become hard. Kindhearted Kendall didn’t live here anymore.
Chapter Seven
Levi’s house had been trashed. Top Hat must have given up the pretense of caring to pretend he was my ex-husband. Everything was thrown everywhere. Next to me, Ross stilled. I hadn’t considered this was his first time encountering the big-time shadow since rejoining the fight. Some of my attitude from earlier fled. I’d been terrified to watch Top Hat attack Levi in the restaurant. I wasn’t going to blame Ross for his fear.
“Stay here if you want.” I patted his arm. “I got this. I appreciate the company.”
Ross’s eyes flared. “I’m not leaving you with that thing. Walking around like he has any right to be in that body.”
“She’s not alone.” Block moved past me. “She never is. If only she would hold onto that idea, she’d be a happier person.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Can we psychoanalyze me later? If I want a rundown on my issues, I’ll call your girlfriend.”
We all followed Top Hat together, and he led us into the living room. Like the front of the house, everything had been tossed all over the place. Chairs were overturned; Levi’s guitar had a hole in the side of it, like Top Hat had smashed it on something; and the pictures were off the walls.
Ross cleared his throat. “Wild party?”
“I had to make a point clear to someone. I’m glad you’re here, Kendall, and you brought friends. The pale one with no fighting abilities and another Warrior. If I didn’t know Malcolm was missing, I’d think you had a harem going on.”
I hoped Block and Ross were smart enough not to mention their women. Fortunately, they both remained silent at the jab. Top Hat smiled, an evil grin that looked wrong on Levi’s face. “You’ve come here to kill me. Or kill this body. I’m going to let you.”
“Is that so? Suicide becoming a shadow thing?” I didn’t want to banter with him. I wasn’t good at this. What I was about to do would constitute the hardest thing I’d ever undertaken. I couldn’t be snippy. I couldn’t be cute. I didn’t want to put my hand on my hip and send him off to eternity with a laugh. I wanted him dead. I wanted him out of Levi’s body.
He pulled something out of his pocket. I didn’t initially recognize what I looked at except that it was a computer part of some kind. Levi always had pieces of various computers around the house. Hardware he would eventually stick in a box that stayed in his home office. I think he thought that someday he might either repair or build one with the kids. He didn’t hoard in any other part of his life. We’d actually had this really strange little routine when it came to the pieces. He’d bring them home, leave them on the counter. For a couple of weeks, I would ignore their presence wherever he’d set them down. Then, after a while, I’d stick them in the box where they would then stay. Forever. Presumably, he still had the box. It was one of the first things he’d grabbed when he stormed out of the house and left me.
His goldfish. His golf clubs. A picture of all of us from the beach. An orange teapot that belonged to his mother. And the box of spare computer parts.
Funny how memories sneaked up on me at weird times. Levi hadn’t even taken any clothes with him. I remember thinking how strange that was at the time. In fact, in the midst of my terror for the future, I’d laughed my head off. He could make tea but not change pants.
This wasn’t Levi. This was the monster in his body.
“That’s a computer part. Of some kind.”
He nodded. “Levi really married a brain trust, didn’t he? Yes, this is a computer part. It is our version of a semiconducto
r. Just what we need to transition into the last part of our plan. Every shadow who needs one, has one.”
Block rocked forward on his feet. He stayed quiet. Out of all of us in the room, he probably had the best idea of what the hell Top Hat was talking about. “Why do you need a semiconductor? Aren’t you all powerful? Can’t you create your own energy?”
“You’ll see.” He held up his hands. “So shoot me. My part in this body is done. Kill the host. I’ll move on. You won’t even be able to send Block to trail me. I’ll find Malcolm and be done with you all. Levi was very useful designing this. He’s so smart, and once we reached a certain level of pain with him, he sang like an opera singer, telling us everything we needed to know to make what we needed. When I took over your husband, it was the best decision I’ve ever made. We’re done now. Kill me.”
“Okay. Sounds like a plan.” I pulled the gun out of the bag. “You like guns, don’t you Top Hat? You sent a minion to shoot me.”
He grinned. “Keep in mind who will be feeling the pain. It won’t be me.”
“Levi.” I spoke to him. He had to be somewhere where he could hear me. “You’ll never know how sorry I am this happened to you.”
Top Hat rolled his eyes. “How dramatic. I thought you were here to kill me.”
“I’ve wracked my brain night after night to figure out how to save you. I’ve come up with nothing. At this point, I have to give you what you would have long ago given to me—a release from this hell you’re existing in. We promised each other once that we wouldn’t let the other one live hooked up to machines. We even made living wills to see to it. I won’t allow this to continue any further. I’m sorry I allowed it to go on as long as I have. I was a coward, please forgive me.”
Block put a steadying hand on my back. He was right. I wasn’t alone, and while I appreciated the company, certain actions were always ones we took singularly, even if we stood in a crowd.
“The kids will be fine. I’ll see to it. I can promise you. With the last breath in my body, I will take care of those babies, keep them safe. You were always too good for me, and”—I raised my gun—“I loved you.”
“Wait.” Ross’s voice sounded funny and stilled my hand on the trigger. I’d bought the terrifying weapon—having been shot twice, I couldn’t even believe I held one in my hand—at a pawn shop. Three lessons later, I was a pretty good shot.
“There is another way. He has no choice but to leave this body. It can’t hold him anymore. People like us, the talented, we can hold him and the others permanently. Not true for a non-talent. It’s why he needs the phoenix. For permanency. We can hold them. Levi can’t hold him anymore. Don’t make this easy on Top Hat. It’ll hurt him having to get out of Levi himself.”
I lowered my gun. Next to me, Ross shuddered. Visions hurt. I’d never seen anyone give such a clear rundown before, either. I didn’t have to shoot Levi. Top Hat was going to leave him anyway.
The door opened and slammed behind me. I jumped and everyone, even Top Hat, turned to see who was there. Logan was out of breath. He reached toward me. “Don’t kill him.”
“You’re the second psychic to tell me.” Of course, it didn’t stop my problem. Levi was still going to die the second the shadow left. Why were they all getting this same report? Who sent the psychic visions anyway?
Logan rushed to my side. “Take me along next time, and I won’t be late. And, yeah, we’ve decided to stay. Tell me to leave again, and I’ll kick your ass. Girl or no girl.” I doubted Logan would ever lay a hand on me. His point, however, was made. “Oh shit. Is that Top Hat?”
“Yep,” Block answered for me.
Top Hat snarled. “Damn it. Leave it to all of you to make it so hard. Tell the old ones they can deliver their own messages. They don’t have to send them through humans. If—ah, what does he call himself now?—Michael wants to talk to me, I’m always available to listen. I’ll even send his messages up the chain.” Top Hat raised his arms and, with a shout, expelled himself from Levi’s body. I could have stared transfixed at the sight of utter blackness bursting into the air around us like tar filling the space. But all I could see was Levi.
For one brief second, his eyes met mine and they were his. In his gaze I could see all the things we still had yet to say. The apologies, the love, the decisions, the laughter, the pain, the memories we would now not have. I cried out, rushing toward him, but by the time I got to him, his eyes had rolled to the back of his head. He’d quit breathing.
That’s right. All of the people who were possessed by shadows seemed to have heart attacks. That’s how their families thought they’d died.
I thought I was I ready … I wasn’t.
I fell to my knees next to him, but I didn’t get to stay there. Ross shoved me away. He started preforming CPR. He pressed down on Levi’s chest, pumping his heart. Again and again. “Call 911. Kendall. Now.”
His words zapped me into action. I grabbed my phone and tried to explain to the woman on the phone that my ex-husband had a heart attack. I wasn’t sure what Block was doing until he grabbed the gun in my hand. Did I still hold it?
He took the bag and made a run out the front door. I’d have to thank him later for thinking on his feet.
No one had survived a shadow attack before, not after having his or her body taken. Determination crossed his brow. He was an ER doctor. I supposed if anyone could perform a miracle in this matter, it would be him.
***
I sat in the most uncomfortable chair imaginable and tried not to rock back and forth. I hated hospitals. Unless someone had a baby, I didn’t want to find myself in one. I touched my stomach. I would be having another baby. If I was lucky and we all lived that long.
“How is he?” Victoria sat down next to her, Henry on the other side.
I blinked. “How are you two here?”
“Doubletime. Block called. Your father is coming in the van with the kids. We’re all coming home. This is ridiculous. We can figure out how to keep safe here.”
I hugged her against me and then grabbed Henry. They were right. The separation wasn’t working. I needed them and my kids.
She’d asked me a question. “He’s not awake. We don’t know how he’ll be when he is. Or if he’ll wake up at all. He’s not responding the way a usual heart attack patient would.”
Henry lowered his voice. “Because he didn’t have a typical heart attack.”
“They’re running a blood panel. Doing tests. I don’t know what they’ll find. I’ve never known anyone who got this far. Maybe we’re prolonging the inevitable. What did you tell the kids?”
Victoria squeezed my hands. “Nothing about Levi. Just that we needed to go home. Kendall, your mom has really taken a downturn too. I’m sorry. I don’t know if I should hold off on this or not, but they’re going to be here tomorrow. I don’t want this to be a shock.”
I rubbed my eyes. When I’d visited them at the beach, she hadn’t spoken much, just stared off into space. I’d been so worked up about the kids, Levi, and Malcolm I couldn’t handle what was happening with her.
Ross came over and squatted in front of us. “Henry. Victoria. Good to see you.” They returned the sentiment. Logan, Peter, and Ross hadn’t been back in the full fold yet. Not that we’d ever be truly secured unless we had Malcolm, Chase and Troy with us. I couldn’t help but think how much Malcolm would have loved this. He’d been our leader, the one who set our purposes and communicated with the Others on our behalf.
He and Ross used to throw a football for hours. Logan made him laugh, and Peter gave him a hard time about things in a way that made him grin instead of yell.
“I’ve checked on Levi. There’s no change. You can go home. They’ll call you if he wakes up or gets worse.”
I squeezed his fingers. “Ross, if he lives, it’s thanks to you. I gave up. The second he hit the floor, I assumed it was over. I never would have tried.”
“We all have a purpose. Don’t forget yours.” He squeezed my knee.
“I’m going home. Victoria, we can get out of your house quickly if you want us to.”
She rose. “No, in fact, that’s what I have to talk to you guys about. We did really well at the beach, kept everyone safe. We know how to do that now. We want everyone to come live with us. It’ll be tight, but that’s how we can manage until we can expand the distance we can protect.”
“I’ll get my stuff.”
If Levi lived, I might be able to believe again.
***
“Kendall.” Block shook me awake. “Your phone has been buzzing like crazy. Sorry to disturb; I thought it may be the hospital.”
I lay flat on my stomach in one of Victoria’s bedrooms. Raising my head, it took me a second for my tired brain to realize I could understand anything Block said. Did I comprehend words? Maybe, sorta.
I grabbed my phone and patted him on the arm to say thank you. If I moved too much my body might decide it was morning, and I didn’t think it was, and then I’d have to start throwing up again. Thank you, morning sickness that sometimes lasted all day.
My eyes were blurry, but I read the message from Ross telling me to get down to the hospital. Levi was awake. I rushed out of bed, nearly colliding with Block, who hadn’t moved, and stumbled into the bathroom where I promptly lost the contents of my stomach. Again. This poor baby. With his or her sister and brothers, I had eaten all organic everything and never looked at any white sugar. Last night, I think I had combos from the vending machine at the hospital for dinner.
They were less pleasant the second time around.
I’d never changed out of my clothes, so when I managed to get out of the bathroom, I headed down the stairs. Block waited by the doorway. “I’ll drive you.”
“I’m okay.”
“I’m still driving you.” He motioned toward the car. “Get in. If I leave you alone, you might get some idea to go wielding a weapon and shooting someone.”