She nuzzled her face in his neck, such soft, sweet-tasting skin. “I did not know you. Oh, Raine, are you really, truly very weak?”
Raine’s laugh rumbled through her body as he pulled her away from him, tossed her in the air. “Got your first taste of love and can’t stop, is that it?”
“It is like music,” she said dreamily, “the very best music.”
“I’m sure I should take that as a compliment,” he said, beginning to unbutton her doublet.
For a moment it flashed across Alyx’s mind that he wouldn’t like her flat-chested body now when no fever blurred his senses. “Raine,” she said, her hand on his. “I look like a boy.”
It took a while before he understood her words. “You drive me to distraction with those legs of yours, and now you say you look like a boy? I have done everything in my power to make a man out of you and failed. But I have made a woman out of you.”
With her breath held, Alyx allowed him to undress her, and when he looked at her slight body with hot, wanting eyes, she forgot any feelings of being unworthy.
With a laugh, she tore at his clothes, pulling whatever she could reach away from his skin.
Raine lowered her to the ground, kept his hands on her bare back while she had her way with him. Never had he encountered such enthusiasm.
“I do not hurt you?” he murmured as he held her small body.
“Only a little and only in the right places. Oh, Raine, I thought you would never recover from your fever.” With that she jumped atop him, and after a look of astonishment, he put his hands on her slim hips.
“Sing for me, my little songbird,” he whispered as he lifted her and lowered her onto his shaft.
Alyx’s gasp was indeed musical, and it took her only minutes to catch the rhythm of Raine’s movement as his big hands traveled upward to her breasts, warming her, exciting her. His hands traveled all over her body, halting just briefly at the gold Lyon belt, then down to her thighs that worked as she raised and lowered herself.
Raine’s fingertips explored, caressed, until his urgency increased and his hands dug into her hips, holding her, manipulating her as he desired. With one violent upward thrust, he spent himself as Alyx shivered, shuddered and fell forward onto him.
“How could so much woman have disguised herself as a boy?” he murmured, his hands tangled in her hair, kissing her temple. “No wonder you threatened to drive me insane.”
“Oh?” she asked, trying to hide her interest in his answer. “When was that? I would never have guessed you knew I was alive except as someone to fetch for you.”
“Perhaps when you bent over or tossed a leg before my face or other such unmanly things.”
“Toss—! I did no such thing. And what about you? Having me climb on your back, to straddle you! Is that how you treat all boys?”
He laughed at her. “Boys would have been interested in my strength. Are you cold?”
She snuggled on top of him, her body touching only his. “No.”
“Alyx!” His head came up. “How old are you?” There was fear in his face.
She gave him a haughty look. “I am twenty, and if you hope I will grow—”
Chuckling, he pushed her head back down. “God has given you the gift of music, what more could you want? I was afraid you were a child. You don’t look more than twelve.”
“Do you like my music?” she asked innocently, making her voice soft and seductive.
“You’ll get no more compliments from me. It seems you’ve had too many already. Who has trained you?”
Briefly she told him of the priest and the monk.
“So that is how you come to be a virgin at twenty and Pagnell—Hush,” he said when she started to speak. “He is a coward, and he will not harm you while you are near me.”
“Oh, Raine! I knew you’d say that. I knew it! There are many advantages to being a nobleman. Now you can go to the king and beg his forgiveness, then you and I will go to your home. I will sing for you and play for you and we will be so very happy.”
Raine, in one motion, pushed her off him and began to dress. “Beg the king’s forgiveness,” he said under his breath. “And what have I done to be forgiven? Do you forget that two of my family are being held prisoner? Do you forget why I am here? And what of those in that camp? One moment you preach about the Enclosure Acts and the next you demand the farmers leave this new home they have found.”
“Raine,” she pleaded, holding her shirt to her neck, “I didn’t mean—Surely if King Henry heard your side of the story he’d help you. This man Chatworth should not be allowed to hold your family.”
“Henry!” he snarled. “You talk of him as if he were a god. He is a greedy man. Do you know why he’s outlawed me? For my lands! He wants to take all the power from the nobles and keep it for himself. Of course, your class wants him to do this since he does good things for you, but what happens when a bad king has the power? With the nobles, at least, a bad one controls only a small area. What if Pagnell were king? Would you wish to follow a man like him?”
Hastily she pulled on her shirt. She’d never seen Raine so angry. “I wasn’t talking about all of England,” she soothed. “I meant us. Surely you could do more good for your family if you were with them.”
“And for that you wish me to go on bended knee to the king?” he whispered. “Is that what you want? You wish to see me groveling, forsaking my vows of honor?”
“Honor!” she said loudly. “What has honor to do with this? You were wrong to use the king’s men.”
For a moment she was sure he was going to strike her, but he took a step backward, away from her, his eyes blazing. “Honor is all to me,” he whispered before turning back to the camp.
As quickly as she could, she dressed and ran after him.
Standing before Raine’s tent was one of his brother’s men, a message in his hand. She was glad to see the man. Perhaps some good news from home would make Raine forget his anger.
Hurrying forward, she took the message and without a glance from Raine, slipped inside the tent. Smiling, she opened the message, and the next moment, her shoulders fell.
“What is it?” Raine growled. “Is someone ill?”
There were tears in Alyx’s eyes when she looked up at Raine. As they locked gazes, his eyes hardened.
“What is it?” he demanded of her.
“Your . . . sister Mary is . . . dead,” she whispered.
Raine’s face betrayed no emotion except for a bit of white appearing at the corners of his mouth. “And Bronwyn?”
“Escaped from Roger Chat worth, but she has not been found yet. Your brothers are looking for her.”
“Is there more?”
“No. Nothing. Raine—” she began.
He brushed her aside. “Go! Leave me to myself.”
Alyx started to obey him, but as she looked back and saw his rigid back, she knew she couldn’t leave him. “Sit!” she commanded, and when he turned to her his eyes were like black coals from hell.
“Sit,” she said, quieter, “and we will talk.”
“Leave me!” he growled, but he sat on a stool and dropped his head into his hands.
Immediately, Alyx sat at his feet, not touching him. “What was she like?” she whispered. “Was Mary short or fat? Did she laugh often? Did she rail at you and your brothers? What did she do when you were so obstinate she wanted to take a club to your head?”
He looked up at that, his eyes dark, angry. “Mary was good, kind. She had no flaws.”
“It’s a good thing,” Alyx said. “She would have to be a saint to stand your mule-headedness, and no doubt your brothers are as bad.”
Raine’s hand fastened about her throat as he went for her, the stool flying. “Mary was an angel,” he said into her face, pinning her body, his hands tightening.
“You will kill me,” she said in a resigned voice, gasping. “And still Mary will not come back.”
After a moment, his hands dropped and he pulled he
r close to him, twisting her body in impossible directions as his arms wrapped about her. Slowly, he began to rock her as he stroked her hair.
“Tell me about your angel. Tell me about your brothers. What is Judith like? And Bronwyn?”
It wasn’t easy to get him to talk, but as the words began to come, she saw a close, loving family. Mary was the oldest of the five and adored by her younger brothers. Raine talked of her selflessness and, recently, how she and Bronwyn had risked their lives to save a serfs child. He spoke of Judith, how his brother had treated her badly yet Judith had loved him enough to forgive him.
Alyx, living in her small, walled village, had never thought about the family life of the nobles, had assumed they lived untroubled lives. Listening to Raine, she had a glimpse of heartache and sorrow, of life as well as death. She was glad that she had not read aloud Gavin’s message to Raine. Roger Chatworth had raped the virginal Mary and, in horror, she’d thrown herself from a tower window.
“Alyx,” Raine murmured. “Now can you see why I cannot go to the King? Chatworth is mine. I will have his head before we are finished.”
“What!” she gasped, pulling away from him. “You’re talking of revenge.”
“He has killed Mary.”
“No! He did not!” She looked away, damning herself for saying that.
Forcibly, he turned her face back. “You have not told me everything in Gavin’s message. How did Mary die?”
“She . . .”
His fingers tightened on her jaw, the pain causing her tears. “Tell me!” he commanded.
“She took her own life,” Alyx whispered.
Raine’s eyes bored into hers. “She was of the Church, and she would not have done that if she had no reason. What was done to her?”
She could see that he had guessed, but he was pleading to be told he was wrong. She could not lie to him. “Roger Chatworth . . . took her to his bed.”
Violently, Raine shoved Alyx across the room. As he stood, he threw back his head and let out a cry of such despair, such rage, such hate, that Alyx cringed at the foot of the cot.
Outside, everything was unnaturally quiet, even the wind having stopped.
Glancing up at him, Alyx saw that he was beginning to tremble, then shake, and as he lowered his head, she saw that pure hate was causing the convulsions. Instantly, she left the floor to throw her arms around him.
“No, Raine, no!” she pleaded. “You cannot go after Chatworth. The King—”
He pushed her off him. “The man would be glad to have fewer nobles. He will take Chatworth’s land as well as mine.”
“Raine, please.” She pressed herself against him again. “You cannot go alone, and your brothers are searching for Bronwyn. And what of the people out there? You cannot leave them to murder each other.”
“Since when has your concern been for them?”
“Since I am in a terror of your being killed,” she answered honestly. “How can you fight Chatworth? Your men are not here. You do have soldiers, don’t you? Does Chatworth have knights?”
“Hundreds,” Raine said through clenched teeth. “He is always surrounded by men, always protected.”
“And if you went to him would he meet you fairly, one to one, or would you have to plow through his men first?”
Raine looked away from her, but she could see her words were making sense. How she wished she knew more about the nobility! Honor, think of honor and whatever you do, don’t mention money, she warned herself.
“Chatworth is not honorable,” she continued. “You cannot deal with him in the way of a knight. You must work together with your brothers.” Silently she prayed they were not so hotheaded as Raine. “Please, wait until you are calmer. We’ll write to your brothers and work out a plan together.”
“I am not sure—”
“Raine,” she said quietly, “Mary has been dead for days. Perhaps Chatworth has already been brought to justice. Perhaps he has escaped to France. Perhaps—”
“You try to coax me. Why?”
She took a deep breath. “I have grown to love you,” she whispered. “I would die before I stood by and watched you be killed, and that is what would happen if you attacked Chatworth alone.”
“I do not fear death.”
She looked up at him in disgust. “Go, then!” she yelled. “Go and give your life to Chatworth. No doubt he’d like that. One by one he can destroy your family. And you will make it easy for him. Come, I will help arm you. You will wear your finest armor. We’ll strap on every weapon you own, and when you are invincible, you can ride out to face this Chatworth’s army of men. Yes, come on,” she said, grabbing his armor’s breastplate. “Mary will be pleased to look down from heaven and see her brother hacked to bits. It will give her soul great peace.”
Raine’s look was so cold she felt it piercing her skin.
“Leave me,” he said at last, and she did.
Alyx had never known such fear as she felt at this moment. Even in the cold air outside the tent, she was sweating profusely.
“Alyx,” came a whispered voice that belonged to Jocelin.
In seconds she was in his arms, her tears flowing. “Raine’s sister,” she sobbed. “Mary is dead and Raine wants to face the murderer’s army alone.”
“Ssh,” Joss calmed her. “He is not like us. We were taught to be cowards, to turn tail and run, to live to fight another day. There are not many men like Raine. He’d rather die than face dishonor.”
“I do not want him to die. He cannot die! I have lost everyone—my mother, my father. I know I have no right, but I love him.”
“You have every right. Now be quiet and think what you can do to prevent his suicide. Surely his brothers know how hotheaded he is. Can you persuade Raine to write his brother and you can add a note?”
“Oh, Joss,” she said, grasping his arms. At his wince, she stopped. “Your shoulder where I poured the cider. I am sorry, I—”
“Quiet,” he said, placing his fingertips on her lips. “Rosamund is caring for me. It is a small wound. Now go to Raine and talk to him and do not lose your temper.”
Silently, Alyx reentered the tent. Raine sat on the edge of the cot, head in his hands. “Raine,” she whispered, touching his hair.
Fiercely, he grabbed her hand, kissed the palm. “I am useless,” he said. “A man kills my sister and I can do nothing. Nothing!”
She sat by him, put her arms around him, her head on his arm. “Come to bed. It’s late. Tomorrow we will write to Gavin. Perhaps he can do something.”
Docilely, Raine allowed himself to be put to bed, but when Alyx started toward her own pallet, he caught her arm. “Stay with me.”
There was no possibility that she was going to reject such an offer. With a smile, she glided into his arms. All night, as she dozed fitfully, she was aware that Raine lay awake beside her.
In the morning there were shadows under his eyes and his temper was black. “Wine, I told you!” he bellowed at Alyx. “Then fetch pen and paper.”
The letter Raine dictated to be sent to his brother was one of anger and revenge. He vowed to take Roger Chatworth’s life, and if Gavin did not help him, he would go alone.
Alyx added her own message to the bottom, pleading with Gavin to talk some sense into Raine, that he was ready to take on all of Chatworth’s men alone. Sealing the letter, she wondered what this great Lord Gavin would think of her presumption.
It was two days before replies came. The messenger, nearly dead from the pace he’d set, practically fell on Alyx. With trembling hands, she broke the seal.
King Henry was furious with both the Montgomerys and the Chatworths. He was placing a heavy fine on Roger Chatworth and renewing his issue for Raine being a traitor. He wanted both noblemen out of England and he was doing what he could to bring it about. He was angered by Raine’s hiding in England, and it was rumored that Raine was raising an army to fight against the King.
With eyes filled with fright, Alyx looked up at Raine.
“You would not do such a thing, would you?” she whispered.
“The man worries more as he grows older,” Raine said in dismissal. “Who can train such scum as those to fight?”
“This is proof that you must stay in hiding. Your brother says King Henry would love to use you as an example of what would be done to others who do not believe he is the man with the power.”
“Gavin worries about losing his land,” Raine said in disgust. “My brother cares more for soil than he does for honor. Already he has forgotten our sister’s death.”
“He has forgotten nothing!” Alyx shouted at him. “He remembers he has other people in his family. Would it make you happier if he sent you to your death? He lost his unborn babe not long ago, he has lost his only sister, his brother’s wife is missing and now he is to encourage you to willingly give your life for something as stupid as revenge?”
“For my sister’s life!” he yelled back at her. “Do you expect me to stand still after what has been done to me? Is there no way one of your class can understand the meaning of honor?”
“My class!” she yelled back at him. “Do you think because of your high birth you are the only one with feelings? In one night one of your kind slashed my father’s throat and burned my house. If that were not enough, I was declared a thief and a witch. And all this because of some man’s lust. Now you talk to me of revenge, ask me if I understand it. I cannot step out of this forest for fear of my life.”
“Alyx,” he began.
“Don’t touch me!” she shouted. “You with your superior ways. You ridicule us because we concern ourselves with money, but what else do we have? We scrape all our lives and give a big piece of our income to support you in your fine houses so you can have the freedom to spout about honor and revenge. If you had to worry where your next meal came from, I wonder how much you would talk of honor.”
“You do not understand,” he said sullenly.
“I understand perfectly and you damn well know it,” she said before leaving the tent.
Chapter Ten
IT WAS MANY hours before Alyx could calm herself. She sat alone by the river. Perhaps she was right in hating Raine because he was part of the nobility. There were barriers between them that could never come down. Everything he believed was the opposite of what she knew to be true. All her life she’d had to contend with work, chores before her music, chores after. There was always the worry that they were not going to have enough food. If it hadn’t been for the priest, they would have gone without many winters. Sometimes Raine complained about the food in the camp, but the truth was she’d had more variety and quantity than she’d ever had.