Chapter 25: Reckless Behavior
I knew I’d scared him. I knew he loved me beyond reason. But I also knew he wouldn’t forget the pain and worry I’d caused him.
I cried hard as Rain carried me through the forest. This would be the last time I’d ride him, and my heart ached at the thought.
The sun was well overhead now. The forest was quiet, aside from us tearing through it at a rapid speed. I looked behind me. Marcus wasn’t following. I didn’t really expect him to, but I had hoped . . .
I loved him. I needed him like the air I breathed. He had become the center of my universe; I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. I didn’t want to. There would be no color left in my world without him. He had my heart.
I cried harder as I pushed Rain to run faster. The farther away I left Marcus, the more my heart ached for him. I wanted to turn back. I wanted to tell him that I loved him. That I’d do anything he asked of me. But I knew he had to let me go—and I also knew he wasn’t strong enough to do it. I couldn’t exist in his world, not the way I was: a fragile, breakable human. Someone he’d have to watch over every minute of every day. I knew Damen would never leave me alone. He’d find me wherever I ran. I’d have to face him sooner or later. Maybe he was right—we were connected now, and our futures would be forever intertwined.
Rain started to slow a little. His ears were tilting like they were listening for something.
“What is it boy?” I whispered nervously. I gripped onto the reins tighter. “Damn!” I realized I didn’t have my sword with me . . . I must have lost it when I fell.
I looked from side to side. I couldn’t see anything at first, and then something caught my eye. There, lurking in the shadows, two golden eyes flickered back at me. I wasn’t alone.
Rain’s speed quickened. I scanned the trees as we brushed past them, my heart in my throat. I couldn’t see it. Had I imagined it? I leaned out, strained to see through the tears that still clouded my eyes. Rain suddenly jumped—I fell off, rolling down an embankment.
I lay there for a moment face down in the dirt. Moaning. I rolled onto my back, spitting dirt from my lips. “This is just . . . great!” I pounded my fists on the ground. “I lost my fiancée, my sword, and now my horse!”
I stood up, dusted myself off, and surveyed the path above me. “Wonderful . . . climbing,” I grumped aloud.
I reached for a tree root to pull myself up when a deep growl from behind made me freeze. I swallowed loudly, shaking as I turned slowly around.
I could feel its hot breath against my face. Its yellow eyes stared right into mine. It was close enough to touch if I would have been brave enough to reach out.
I held my breath, frozen where I stood. My heart pounded loudly, drowning out all other noise . . . except for it’s breathing. Its lips slowly pulled back, baring its teeth.
“Marcus . . .help me, ” I begged under my breath.
Something flashed past me, knocking the wolf aside. I tried to scurry up the hill backward, slipping back down the soft dirt.
Marcus was rolling around the ground with the wolf. It snarled as Marcus lifted it off him, thrusting it into a nearby tree. It staggered for a moment, regained its senses and lunged in my direction. I didn’t have time to react. Marcus had dove in front of me, hissing wildly as he held onto its head, prying its jaw open and twisted until a loud crack like a tree splitting echoed through the forest. I covered my ears, cringing as I saw the wolf fall dead to the ground.
Marcus turned to me, his chest heaving in and out as he breathed in heavily.
I could see his shining teeth, his blackened eyes, and the murderous expression on his face. For the first time, he looked like a vampire. My God, Marcus truly was a Vampire!
He moved toward me. My heart hadn’t stopped pounding. My eyes darted back and forth from the wolf to Marcus. I was terrified beyond words. I hadn’t seen anything so horrific in my life. I never expected to see that side of Marcus—I didn’t know it even existed. The wolf nearly killed me, and Marcus looked as though he were going to finish where the wolf left off.
“Phoebe, are you hurt?” his voice was strained. “Did it hurt you?”
Tears hung in my eyes. I couldn’t speak. I was in shock. I wanted my Marcus—not the man standing before me.
“It’s alright.” He spoke softer now, his face resembling more of his own. “You’re safe, it can’t hurt you now.” He moved toward me.
I staggered a few steps back.
He stopped, realizing it was not the wolf I feared.
“Darling, I’m not going to hurt you. I swear it.” He extended his hand out to me.
I looked at his hand skeptically, then staring into his black eyes. I was torn. My mind was telling me to run for my life; although, I had very little faith that my legs would cooperate. My heart reminded me that I swore never to doubt him again. I closed my eyes, deliberated with my mental tug-a-war, and took a deep breath. It took all my courage and strength to reach out to him. My body trembled as I slowly extended my hand.
“I won’t hurt you, my love.” His voice was smooth like velvet. All signs of aggression were gone.
Our fingers touched lightly—I gasped as he pulled me to him, holding me tight. I could feel the tension in his arms as they wrapped around me; the sweet smell of rainwater filling my senses. All the fear, all the pain from the day, came crashing down on me all at once. I clung onto him desperately, sobbing hysterically as I fell to my knees.
“Shhh, it’s alright Darling. I’ve got you.” He kissed my face over and over. “You’re safe now.”
“You came for me,” I cried, my lips breaking free from his momentarily.
“I could never let you go,” he kissed my lips again and again. “Don’t you know by now there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you?” He took my face in his hands, holding it firmly. “I would die for you!”
His mouth took mine aggressively. I didn’t protest. I was in Marcus's arms, safe, and no matter how hard I tried, I knew I wasn’t strong without him. I needed him more than I’d realized. More than I’d wanted to admit. I needed him as much as he needed me.
He pulled back from me, his thumbs desperately trying to wipe away the tears that were still falling. “Never risk your life for me, do you understand?” He touched his forehead to mine. “I can’t live without you again, I can’t! You are my life. You are the only reason for my existence!” His mouth crushed mine in the next instant. I could feel how badly he wanted me, how badly he needed me.
My arms found their way around his neck, pulling him closer, my body meshing up against his.
His kiss heated with an intensity that rivaled any other kiss. I didn’t want it to end, and neither did he, but one of us had to breathe . . . eventually . . .
His lips reluctantly broke free from mine. The both of us panting as he pulled my left hand up to his mouth and kissed the ring that had somehow found its way back on my finger. “This belongs here; never doubt that.”
Tears were falling from my eyes once again. “I don’t want to leave you Marcus, but Damen—”
“Will never touch you again,” he interrupted.
“I know I scared you,” I began. His face hardened a little. “I put myself in indescribably danger—I’d do it again!” I glance away from him for a moment, trying to maintain my courage. “I couldn’t breathe thinking you were all alone out here. I had to come!”
He turned my face to his.
“Marcus, please say you understand, that you forgive me.”
He shook his head. His lips protested, curling up into a slight smile. “I . . . forgive you,” he said in defeat.
I threw my arms around him again, hugging him to me.
“I was so scared when I couldn’t find you . . . and when I saw you lying on the ground with Raymose crouched over you, I thought he’d . . .”
“You thought he’d killed me?” I asked incredulously.
“Yes!” Marcus hissed.
“But surely you know Raymose is in . . . he cares for me deeply. He’d never hurt me. I know it.”
“I’m aware of his feelings for you. He’s never hidden it.” Marcus's voice rose a little. “In fact, he has just made it quite clear that should anything happen to me . . .” Marcus didn’t need to finish.
I half laughed, blushing at the thought.
“You are human, and wolf now—his reaction to you was completely unknown. He could have just as easily killed you.” Marcus stressed.
“He was so happy to see me, he—” I noticed the uneasy look on Marcus's face as he watched me. I could feel my cheeks blushing again. “He was really happy to see me.” I repeated quickly, turning my head a little to the side, avoiding his stare.
“I told him I’m not the same Phoebe, although he insists that I am.” My face still burned from the memory.
“He . . . kissed you?” Marcus's voice was shaky.
“Marcus . . . please don’t be mad.” I wasn’t sure what I should tell him. “He was so excited I was alive . . . he just . . . reacted!”
Marcus looked as though he were turning green. I reached out and gently grazed his lips with my thumb. “You must know by now that yours are the only lips I want to kiss.” I stood on my tiptoes and gently brushed my lips against his. “You are the only man I want to love.” I fisted his shirt in my hands. “The only man I need.”
He grabbed my waist and lifted me up against a tree, pressing his body to mine. I wrapped my legs around him, hugging him tightly. He couldn’t hold me close enough.
“I’ve waited my whole life for you,” I breathed. “Don’t make me wait any longer.
His mouth took mine, our lips seamlessly moving together. I moaned feeling lost in his kiss, his touch. He pressed me harder into the tree. I didn’t care. The world could have stopped moving, and I wouldn’t have known it. I gripped his shoulders. My head fell back, exposing my throat. His lips glided along my jaw and down my neck. He inhaled deeply, sending a shiver through my body.
I looked up into the trees, watching them sway overhead. His sweet scent engulfing me—I felt deliciously intoxicated.
“Marcus . . . I’m going to faint.” My vision blurred a little.
“I’ll catch you,” he breathed into my neck. His mouth found mine again, kissing my lips over and over, drawing me deeper into his spell. “I want to spend the rest of time loving you Phoebe.” His eyes were smoldering.
As if I wanted to, or could, say no. Marcus had rendered me incapable of sorting out the simplest of thoughts. I wanted him desperately. I could feel my body going limp in his arms. I kissed his lower lip, biting it a little. He groaned as if he was in pain—the look in his eyes suggested it was pure pleasure.
I suddenly felt myself being carried through the air. We were flying. His mouth never left mine. I hadn’t realized where he’d taken me until I felt the familiar surroundings of my bed beneath me. He leaned over my body, still panting from our kiss, his eyes, red with desire.
“You’re sure I’m the one you want? You seem to have quite a line forming of eligible men,” he asked in a husky voice.
Oh yes. I was sure. My hands moved down his chest. I watched his eyes as they stared into mine, awaiting my answer. I lifted his shirt up, and he let me take it over his head. I grinned. “You are the only man I want.” I removed my own shirt in one swift motion.
He stared wantonly at me, wetting his lips slightly with the tip of his tongue. I pulled him down on me. His skin on mine felt silky, soft and cool.
“You’re sure you want me?” I asked reluctantly. My hands roamed freely over his God-like body. “There must be some vampire girl out there who would be less trouble than I am?”
“There is no one, but you,” he proclaimed. His face had grown thoughtful. “You’re really quite lovely you know. You’re more beautiful than I remembered.” He rested his cheek over my heart, listening to its beat. I breathed heavily at the intimacy of it.
“What are you thinking?” I ran my fingers slowly through his hair, combing it back gently.
“I was just thinking of another time: A time when we loved each other so freely, when I didn’t have to worry about harming you.”
“You won’t hurt me,” I said without hesitation. “You’d never hurt me.” I pulled his face up to mine, my eyes locking with his, “I trust you.” He could hear the resolve in my voice. “I trust you.”
Marcus sighed heavily, and although his eyes were full of worry, he put his arm under my waist and pulled my body to his.
I hadn’t expected the overwhelming emotions that filled me. Our bodies moved seamlessly together. It was as if we’d never been apart—we knew each other that well.
By the look on Marcus's face, he was thinking the very same—he grinned, taking my lips once again and claiming a kiss reserved only for him.
I was lost in the time that passed, the soft whispers of love he proclaimed to me, and the countless visions of Marcus and I making love flooded my mind and heated the passion I felt for him. My heart was complete in a way I hadn’t dreamed possible. I felt love beyond imagination, and peace engulfed me. Marcus was my soul mate: my love for all time.
His hands gripped my shoulders tightly. I was torn between the pain in my arms and the overwhelming pleasure that moved through me. He pressed his mouth hard against my neck, making an almost inaudible hiss.
My eyes opened wide. The pain was unbearable. “Marcus . . . you’re hurting me.” I tried to push him off—he didn’t budge.
“Phoebe.” His voice was gruff, not his own.
I was afraid to move. Understanding claimed me. He wanted my blood. “Marcus, please!”
With what looked to be great effort, he lifted his head up. His eyes were deep red—a shade that put the ruby he’d given me, to shame.
“Please don’t do this.” My voice was barely a whisper.
“Phoebe I . . .” his eyes dropped, to the death grip he had on my arms. He released me immediately. I could feel the blood rushing back through my veins.
I breathed heavily, a tear leaking out the corner of my eye. “I’m fine!” My voice cracked. I was saying it for his benefit as much as my own.
I could see the devastation on his face. He turned his head away from me. “I’m sorry.”
I subtly began rubbing the life back into my arms. I knew he hadn’t meant to hurt me. Marcus and I physically were a dangerous combination—I understood that now. It took every ounce of his strength not to bite me. In the height of his pleasure, he denied himself the one thing he wanted . . . blood.
Our hearts desired each other’s love, while our instincts tore us apart. I couldn’t let him torture himself. He did after all maintain control. I could be dead now.
“Not all of it was painful,” I said playfully as I tickled my fingers down his chest and stomach, earning me a small smile.
His eyes were still smoldering. I knew he still wanted my blood, but the guilt he felt outweighed the desire that was slowly subsiding.
“Are you . . . all right . . . otherwise?” he asked nervously, his eyes still drifting to my arms. I hugged myself, trying to conceal the subtle shivering that ran through me.
“I’m wonderful! I had no idea how passionate vampires were. Had I only known . . .” I teased, than quickly hid my face in his chest; I knew the disapproving look that would be coming my way.
He put his arms around me. Despite the fear I’d felt moments ago, I felt safe with him. I wanted him to hold me forever.
“Are you alright? I mean, are you happy?” I snuck a peek at him. He looked at me like I’d just asked the most insane question imaginable.
“Well I don’t know,” I said defensively. “Maybe it’s different for vampires. Maybe I’m not—”
He put his hand over my mouth silencing me. “You’re perfect.”
“Are you sure?” I wrinkled my nose a little.
“You’re all I’ve ever needed,” he half laughe
d as he tussled my hair playfully.
I smiled to myself, basking in the after-glow. I had Marcus in every way now. He loved me, and more importantly he’d forgiven me. Life couldn’t be more perfect. I lay there on his chest savoring the moment . . .
“Phoebe, I don’t wish to spoil the mood, but I must ask . . .”
I looked up into his glorious face. “Anything,” I smiled brightly.
“Well, it’s just that in our haste, we . . .” his eyes were downcast. “Of course things are different now. I’ve never been with any other woman, and we never . . .
“You haven’t made love to anyone in over seven hundred years?” I nearly shot out of the bed.
“That’s not the point of this conversation,” Marcus stated. He truly was embarrassed.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, putting my hand over my mouth. I forced a look of concentration back on my face—trying to suppress a smile that would soon break free. “No one! Not once?” I blurted out in disbelief.
“NO!” he shouted. “I died with you.”
“Yeah, but I thought vampires flew into unsuspecting women’s rooms, made love to them, and then—”
“I’ve never taken a woman against her will!” He looked appalled at the suggestion.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to insult you, I was just teasing . . . sort of,” I admitted honestly. The truth was, all those old monster movies I’d watched growing up now suddenly seemed to be documentaries. I truly did expect to see Frankenstein before summer’s end.
His eyes caught mine—there was no play in them. “There has never been another for me.”
“Or for me,” I offered with a grin. My lips took his by surprise. I twined my fingers through the back of his hair. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster against his chest. He groaned, almost sounding frustrated.
“This is reckless,” he moved his hand up my thigh and hooked my leg around him, pulling my body back to his.
“Everything about today has been reckless.”
“Phoebe I . . .”
“Shhh!” I stopped his mouth with a kiss.
I was in absolute heaven. He was much more aware this time, being extra careful not to hold me too tightly. Not to let his lips linger too long against my throat. I held him as long as I could, never wanting him to let go.
The sun that had once lit my room, now cast a soft orange glow across the balcony; it was late afternoon.
We lay in each other’s arms, completely at peace. That is until my stomach growled.
“Sorry,” I blushed. “I haven’t had anything to eat today. I think I’ll head down to the kitchen and see if Charlotte has anything.”
He caught my hand as I moved to get up. A strange look of embarrassment once again overtook him.
“Marcus, what is it? Are you all right? Did I do something wrong?”
He took my hands and held them together, placing them on his chest. “No, my love, you haven’t done anything wrong, and I am very well.” He smiled peacefully.
“What is it then?” I stared at him, confused as ever.
He scrubbed a hand down his face. “I know you haven’t been with another man, but have you by any chance considered . . .?” He looked up at the ceiling.
“Marcus, is it that bad that you can’t just come out and say it?” I was beyond frustrated and starting to feel self-conscious.
“It’s completely improper for me to ask. We never worried about it in our time.”
“Worried about what?”
“When people made love, they accepted the life that might come from it.” His eyes met mine; they were full of hope.
I stared at him incredulously. “What are you—” I stopped. I could feel all color draining from my face. My mouth popped open. I jumped out of the bed, taking the top blanket with me.
“You have to be kidding me! You said you had to be half human!” I nearly shouted.
“I said you had to be half human . . . and you are.”
“No, no . . .” I tried to do the math. One hundred percent human Phoebe- bit by werewolf equals . . . I’m not a werewolf . . . at least not completely . . . I don’t know what it equals actually—a quarter? I let out a frustrated groan.
He watched me pace back and forth as I went over the obvious once again.
“I’m guessing by your reaction, you haven’t planned for this?”
“No! Why would I? I thought the werewolf bite would have thrown off my ratio.”
He nodded. “It will be alright. We’ll just have to be careful if that’s something we wish to avoid at this time—if we can avoid it now?” he added under his breath. The look on his face wasn’t promising.
“I can’t believe this. Why didn’t you say something before?” I stared at him in disbelief. I felt a small flame light within me—I envisioned myself physically injuring him in several appropriate ways. All of which would have failed. The odds of me successfully harming Marcus were zero at best. Still . . . the thought was appealing.
He closed his eyes, avoiding my death like stare. “I’m not certain, but the likelihood you’re more human than werewolf appears to be high. The probability you could conceive . . .” he didn’t finish. He didn’t have to.
I growled mentally as I walked over to the window and looked out at the orange sky. I couldn’t deny that I’d been a more than willing participant—twice! I’d taken health classes. I was a big girl! The blame was just as much mine as it was his. Like he said, this wasn’t anything we would have worried about in the past. Why would he worry about it now?
“Phoebe, I’m sorry.” Marcus stood behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist. “If it makes you feel any better, Phoebe and I were together nine years before she apparently conceived.”
I sighed. Nine years . . . that did make me feel better. My life was so unsettled, and the thought of having a child now . . . was too much.
“Marcus, I want to learn how to sword fight again.”
He froze, his arms stiffening around me. “Absolutely not.”
“What? Why?” I demanded, spinning around to look at him. “You can’t expect me to live here and not be able to protect myself!”
“I won’t have you running around slaying werewolves. It’s too dangerous.”
“I won’t! But wouldn’t you rather I could defend myself if I had to? Or would you prefer I’m ripped to shreds like before?”
He grimaced.
“Besides, Richard and Raymose have already offered to teach me. With the both of them, I should be pretty good, maybe even useful.”
Marcus looked beyond murderous. “They went behind my back!” he spat, enunciating each word with as much venom as the next.
“No! I sort of . . . cornered Richard,” I admitted quietly. “Raymose offered to train me after he witnessed my skills today . . . or lack of.” I frowned at the insult.
“No,” Marcus said as if the conversation was officially over.
“Marcus. This isn’t your decision. I’d like you to support me, but I don’t need your permission.” I spoke defiantly.
“Yes you do.” His words were absolute. “This is a different world Phoebe, a world you’re not used to.” He reached out and took my bandaged hand and held it up for affect. “This is sword’s play compared to what can happen during battle.”
“I’m not going to battle. I just want to be able to defend myself!”
“I’ll protect you,” he said fiercely.
“Every minute of every day?” I protested. “No. Either you agree, or I’m leaving. Tonight,” I shrugged away from him.
His expression was hard. He was not going to bend on this.
“Fine,” I stomped off toward the bathroom, not giving him a second look. “Will you please tell Richard I need a ride to the airport?”
Marcus caught me from behind. He had his arms around my waist, and despite my attempts to struggle out of his grasp, he held me, firmly, until I stilled. “I can’t let you go.” He sig
hed. I could hear the defeat in his voice. His hand moved across my stomach and paused. “Please be careful.”
I turned and hugged him excitedly.
“I mean it, Phoebe. You’re human this time. If you get cut . . . Raymose—”
“Will take good care of me,” I interrupted. “You don’t have to worry about a thing.”
“Right.” His voice was condescending. Asking Marcus to not worry about me was like asking the sun not to rise the next day.
“I do need to see a doctor though,” I admitted.
“Why?” Marcus looked uneasy again.
“Because I want some form of birth control. I’m not going to worry about this every time we decide to be hasty.” I couldn’t help but blush.
“I’ll have someone here before dinner.” He smiled slightly, his mind obviously in sync with mine.
“A house call? I am impressed.”
He gave me a wry smile. “I’ll leave you to your shower.”