Chapter 30: Honesty
Marcus didn’t bother with discretion, such as walking me through the front doors like any other normal person would have. He tried to keep to the trees as much as possible, but when it came right down to it, his worry for me outweighed his need to remain cautious. He flew right out in the open and through my balcony doors—luckily they were still open.
He sat me down as gently as he could, then grabbed a blanket from the bed and wrapped it around me, careful not to let it touch my wounded shoulder. I was convulsing uncontrollably. A look of sheer murder hung in his eyes
“D-Damen c-chased me o-out of the s-stables,” I stuttered involuntarily. “Only I d-didn’t k-know it was him. He was a w-wolf!” I blurted.
“Damen did this to you?” Marcus snarled, exploding with rage. “He can’t have gone far!”
“Y-you can’t leave me!” I lunged for him, grabbing his hand with the last ounce of strength I had left. “Please Marcus! I’m b-begging you!”
I could see the anger consuming him. His black eyes seethed with fury. “Phoebe. This ends now.”
“He let me go!” I insisted. The tremors had subsided a little. “H-he could have k-killed me, but he let me come back to you.”
“Not before he ripped you to shreds!” Marcus hissed.
“Rain! Where’s Rain?” My god, I’d forgotten about him.
“He’s fine. He came back on his own.” Marcus pulled the blanket back around me. His desire to chase after Damen was abandoned for the moment. “I shouldn’t have left you alone so long.” His eyes were full of regret.
I shook my head. “It’s not your fault. I don’t expect you to watch over me all the time.” The look on Marcus's face suggested that that was exactly what he should be doing.
“I need to take care of that,” he motioned to my shoulder, his eyes noting my hesitation. “I’ll be right back. I promise. I’m just going into the bathroom.”
Hoping I’d have the strength to jump up and grab him if he made the slightest move toward the door, I released him.
He went into the bathroom and returned promptly with a first aid kit. I braced myself. He tore the back of my shirt away, exposing the full horror of Damen’s claws—he gasped.
I tried hard to ignore the pain. My skin felt as though it had been literally shredded. “Can it be stitched?” Somehow I knew that a simple bandage wasn’t going to cut it.
“There is nothing to stitch it to,” he replied softly.
I cried quietly into my blankets while Marcus diligently began cleaning my wounds. I was biting my lip, trying to keep up a brave front so Marcus wouldn’t fly out the door after Damen. My brave front collapsed when he applied the antiseptic—I screamed out in agony as I grabbed onto the sheets, trying to channel the pain from my body.
Marcus made all sorts of anguished noises. I knew it killed him to see me like this. He secured the wrapping then crouched down beside the bed. His hand gently smoothed the hair off my damp forehead—I was sweating profusely.
“I wish I could take the pain for you.” I knew he meant it. His eyes looked long into mine. “I swear to you: there is no place in this world he can hide. I will find him.”
I swallowed loudly. I didn’t doubt Marcus would track Damen to the ends of the earth to pay back the favor.
“Why did he let you return?” he asked a moment later, as if the question had just occurring to him.
I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to remember all that Damen had said. I explained to Marcus how Damen wanted me to go back home, that I wasn’t safe here with either of them. How the werewolves would be here in a day’s time working their way across England, and then through Europe . . . eliminating all vampires along the way.
Marcus stiffened at the news. “Only a day?” Clearly he’d expected he’d have more time.
I went on with their intention of killing Luther. How Aidric planned on using Luther’s love for me to force him to surrender and declare freedom to the werewolves. How I was to be Aidric’s trump card; he would use me as a bargaining tool. Aidric was confident that Luther would never fight his own daughter, even though I was a werewolf now.
“How would Aidric use you for leverage?” Marcus looked confused. He hadn’t connected the dots yet. “And, why would he say you’re a werewolf now? Surely he knows you haven’t been turned.”
“Damen said that I’m only partly infected, he needed to change me completely—”
“He was going to bite you again?” Marcus raged, jumping to his feet.
“Yes, but I . . .” I was afraid to tell Marcus what I’d done.
“You what?” His guard was up, eyeing me carefully.
“I sort of . . . blurted out that I was . . . pregnant.” I winced, seeing the expression of horror that now claimed Marcus’s face.
“You what?” he thundered. “Do you have any idea the danger you’ve put yourself in now . . . not to mention our child?”
“He already knew!” I defended. “I don’t know how, but he knew!”
Marcus looked like he was going to come unstuck. He ran his hands back and forth through his hair with such vigor, I wondered if he were going to rub his hair right off.
“I panicked, alright! He was biting my shoulder. Look!” I yanked my shirtsleeve up to show the impressions I could still feel in my skin.
Marcus roared. Then grabbing the vase of flowers by the bedside, he launched it across the room at the door—smashing it to bits.
Raymose burst in, his hair, for the first time looking a little disheveled. “You found her!” He stared at the shattered vase on the floor. “Thank you for letting me know.” He was clearly annoyed. He held up his cell phone and tilted it back and forth in his hand. “You could have called.”
I covered my mouth quickly, trying to suppress a giggle—it didn’t work. I had taken one look at Marcus and Raymose’s confused expressions and burst into a state of uncontrollable laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Raymose barked, sounding more than a little put out.
“Vampires . . . cell phones.” I laughed hysterically. I was finally cracking up.
“Phoebe?” Raymose’s voice was gruff. I looked up at him, still unable to stop laughing. His eyes were red as he sniffed the air. “You’re bleeding . . . a lot.”
Marcus had already positioned himself in front of me, his eyes watching Raymose carefully.
“I know.” My laughter had turned to tears. “Damen disfigured my back.”
“He what?” Raymose spat, all signs of blood lust gone for the moment.
“He disfigured my back,” I repeated a little louder through the tears. “I was just chased by a werewolf, knocked off a horse, nearly drowned, physically assaulted, and informed that I will be the downfall of the vampire civilization. I only escaped because I threw myself on his mercy and kissed him.” I buried my face in the quilt. Aside from my sobbing, the room was silent.
I cried and cried. I’d been so scared to tell Marcus all the details of my close encounter with Damen. But somehow, I’d managed to blurt them out in almost one breath. By the sound of silence in the room, they were still trying to process it all.
I felt a hand on the small of my back. “You . . . kissed him?” Marcus had trouble saying the word.
I didn’t have the courage to look at him. I felt like such a traitor. “It was the only thing I could think of to distract him from biting me,” I admitted truthfully, my words mumbled into the quilt.
Marcus said nothing.
“He let you go?” Raymose asked a few moments later, breaking the silence. “Why?”
I lifted my head and met Raymose’s stare His eyes still held a trace of crimson in them. “He said he can’t protect me from the pack any longer. Not even if I became a full werewolf myself. They’d sense . . .” I bit my lip—stopping myself from saying too much. I could feel Marcus's body tense up beside me. I knew his mind. I knew it took all his control not to hunt Damen down and kill him like
the dog Marcus thought he was.
“It was not without a price,” Marcus growled.
“Marcus . . .” Raymose’s tone was untrusting.
Marcus's eyes flickered to mine, and for the first time ever he looked afraid for himself. Then his face turned solemn as he turned toward his friend. “Phoebe’s going to have a baby.”
Raymose stared at Marcus with a look of disbelief before he turned to me, glancing at my middle. “She has werewolf blood in her . . . they cannot conceive. It’s not possible!”
“There’s never been another like her,” Marcus insisted. “We don’t know her limitations . . . and it’s more than possible. She’s still partly human.”
“How careless could you be?” Raymose demanded. His eyes moved from Marcus to me.
I started to cry again. Never had I been the target of Raymose’s anger.
Marcus put his arms around me, cradling me against his chest. “She doesn’t need to be attacked Raymose, especially by you,” he warned. “You have no right. If you must be angry, be angry with me.”
“Oh, I am,” he promised, stalking forward. “When I think of the danger she was in every time I left her alone . . . the danger she’s still in! How could you do this to her?” Raymose raged.
“I didn’t want her left alone,” Marcus snapped. “That’s why I asked her to leave. I didn’t want her here . . . vulnerable to an assault.”
“No. You wanted her half way across the world where Damen could have his way with her,” Raymose yelled. “She was safer here with me and you know it. She’s always been safer with me!”
Marcus rose from the bed, his posture becoming defensive.
“Raymose. Marcus. Don’t!” I beseeched them both.
“You had your chance,” Marcus hissed at him. “You turned your back when she wanted you. When she needed you!”
Raymose’s stare was deadly. “A mistake that will not be repeated,” he spat.
I tried to focus. There was more going on here than I understood.
“She’d have a better chance saving herself and our child than she did the last time,” Marcus growled.
Raymose froze. “What are you saying?” he asked cautiously.
“When Damen killed Phoebe,” Marcus’s voice cracked. “He killed my unborn child as well.”
“How do you know this?” Raymose eyed me carefully.
“Damen bit her,” Marcus explained. “She shares his memories. She has seen it through her own memories. The bastard has admitted it himself.”
Raymose scrubbed a hand down his face. He looked beyond his last nerve. “There has never been a blending of the species. Never!” His voice rose in anger once again. “Luther will not tolerate this. You’ll be lucky if he doesn’t kill you along with her. Blood will be spilt, Marcus!”
I slapped my hand over my mouth.
“I will kill anyone who tries to take them from me,” Marcus warned. “Anyone!”
I jumped up and ran for the bathroom. I managed to lock the door behind me and get to the toilet just in time . . . I felt like I was going to die. After several minutes of heaving my lungs out, I slunk to the floor—exhausted—waiting for death to take me.
“Phoebe? Darling, can you hear me?” Marcus spoke through the door. His voice sounded strained.
“Yes,” I moaned.
“Can you unlock the door, Love?”
“No.”
There was a moment of silence. Then, I could hear whispers.
“Just let me die,” I whined as I pulled myself back to the toilet and vomited once again. I collapsed back to the floor, pressing my cheek to the cold stone. My eyes watched the room rock back and forth. I closed them, hoping to still the spinning world.
“Phoebe, you’re scaring me. Please open the door.” Marcus was jiggling the handle.
“I can’t,” I whimpered again.
“Why not?” Raymose asked in the same worried tone as Marcus. Apparently they were both hovering outside the door. Well at least they weren’t ripping each other’s heads off I thought.
“Because I’m sick!” I finally yelled out, annoyed they’d ask the obvious. I was sure they were both able to hear me retching. “I’ll be out in awhile. I just need to lie here . . . and die,” I added quietly. I closed my eyes again, hoping the nausea would pass—soon.
I lay there for a good half hour before I tried to sit up. I felt frozen having been on the cold floor for so long. I crawled over to the bathtub and started the water. My head rested on the side of the tub while I waited for it to fill. I poured a little rose water into the bath, hoping the smell would wake my senses. It seemed to be working. The walls weren’t shifting around so much anymore.
I went to the sink and brushed my teeth. The strong mint flavor of the paste tickled my senses more, bringing me out of my fog-like trance. I undressed and slipped into the warm water, hanging my arms over the edge of the tub, taking care not to let the water reach my newly bandaged shoulder.
I closed my eyes . . . my mind drifted back to the forest . . . I could still feel Damen’s mouth on my shoulder . . . his teeth sharply pressing into my skin.
My body jerked violently with a start, splashing water from the tub. I sat straight up. My heart pounded in my chest. With a trembling hand, I reached up and felt my shoulder. It was still bandaged. No bite marks.
The sound of water spilling over the tub onto the floor brought me out of my reverie. I reached over and quickly turned it off. I held my face in my hands, trying to steady myself.
There was a gentle knock at the window. I looked over to see Marcus's head poking in. “May I come in?”
I nodded. “Sorry about that,” I said when I saw him looking around at all the water on the floor.
“Didn’t you notice how high the water was?” Marcus was already grabbing towels to sop up the mess.
“No, I . . . fell asleep . . .”
“Wonderful, now I have to worry about you drowning?” he said, as if he was adding one other item of concern to his list.
“Sorry.” My voice sounded so far away, as if it had come from someone else. “Let me help you clean that up.”
“No, I got it, I’m nearly done anyway,” he insisted as he pushed the towel around the floor.
“Is Raymose still here?”
Marcus looked up. His eyes were a soft brown, almost golden—he’d just eaten. “No, he’s on his way to see Luther.”
“Why?” I choked.
“If the werewolves are going to be here sooner than we’d planned, we need to be prepared.” His tone was business like.
“Werewolves!” I jumped up abruptly, splashing water and bubbles as I reached for my towel.
“What are you doing?” Marcus asked.
“I’m not just going to sit and soak in a tub when we’re about to be invaded by werewolves. We need to do something!” My mind was once again clear.
“Not we,” he warned, launching the towel into a corner. “Phoebe, I’d already decided to have Richard put you on a plane today. I don’t want you anywhere near here,” he said firmly. “The further you are from Aidric and Luther, the better.”
“There is no way I’m leaving you now. Damen said you were outnumbered.” I stepped out of the tub and vigorously dried myself off.
Marcus put his arms around me, holding me from behind. “You’re not coming with me.”
“Marcus you need me, even Raymose said you did. I can help. I’ll be careful, I promise. I already feel lots better.” It was a necessary lie.
He turned me around. His hands rested on my shoulders. I winced at the pressure. “The other wolves will not be so merciful,” he warned, running a finger across my bandage.
“I won’t need them to be.” My resolve was strong. He wasn’t going to change my mind. If there was any way I could help them, I was going to do it.
Marcus smiled affectionately at my stubbornness. “The vampires will smell the fresh blood.” His eyes narrowed. “I know y
ou think I am strong, but even I won’t be able to fight them all off you.”
I didn’t have a response to that. I’d been so worried about werewolves; I hadn’t considered my safety around the other vampires.
“I told you before I’d protect you. But I can’t do it if you’re taking risks.” He looked desperate just then. He pulled my body to his, careful of my new wounds. His mouth took mine aggressively, taking all that I had to give. When he pulled back, we were both breathing heavily. “Nothing matters more to me in this world than you.”
I sighed. I knew exactly how he felt. I reached up and placed the palm of my hand against his cheek—he leaned into it, absorbing my touch.
“Marcus. They’re going to kill Luther. I can’t let them.” I watched the smile slip from his face. “I know this doesn’t make sense to you, Luther doesn’t even know I exist, but he’s the only father I have left.”
Marcus's mouth fell open. “You would risk your life . . . our child’s life . . . to save Luther’s?” The very idea sounded inconceivable.
“I can’t explain it,” I began. “I feel drawn to him. He needs me.” I was just as shocked as Marcus was when I realized how I felt about this man I’d never seen in this life.
“Phoebe.” Marcus gripped my arms, shaking me slightly. Luther will take your life!” His words were sharp. “You’re not a vampire anymore,” he warned. “You’re—” he released my arms abruptly and turned away from me, his body seething with anger.
“A werewolf! Is that what you were going to say?” I shouted angrily. “A werewolf!”
“It’s the truth,” Marcus hissed over his shoulder. “As far as anyone else will see it. Luther will sense it immediately. I can’t let you anywhere near him, not ever. He won’t quibble about what percent werewolf you are. He’ll simply destroy you.”
I tried to let that sink in, but my heart wouldn’t let it. My heart told me that Luther needed me. That once he saw me, he’d remember he loved me. Even if he didn’t, I couldn’t turn my back on him. I couldn’t let them murder him.
“Have you forgotten the other heart beating within you?” Marcus interrupted my thoughts.
My mouth popped open. “You can hear the baby’s heart beat?” I gasped. I hadn’t expected that. It was too soon, wasn’t it? I still hadn’t quite come to grips with what was happening inside me. Then: “That’s how Damen knew isn’t it? He must have heard the heartbeat too.”
A small hiss escaped from behind Marcus teeth.
“Marcus. What would Luther do to you if he found out you were hiding me from him?”
“My deception would be . . . unforgivable.”
“Because you kept his daughter from him? Or because of what I am?” I asked.
“A little of both I expect.” He touched my cheek with his hand. “As Raymose said, a mixing of the species is . . . unthinkable.” His words were firm.
I knew Marcus accepted the laws of his kind and supported and respected Luther without question. That’s why the next thought had me immediately on edge. I dreaded the question before I’d asked it. “And the punishment for such a betrayal?” I held my breath. I suspected I already knew the answer. I cringed, praying I was wrong.
He tilted his head a little as he sighed. The look in his eyes made me feel sick once again.
“I see.” I gave him a small smile and stalked to my closet. I began searching through the clothing Richard had retrieved as promised.
“Phoebe, you must understand; it doesn’t matter to me how others see you. I don’t look at you that way.” He sounded desperate.
“I understand.” I donned a shirt and pants in record time. I wasn’t sure what was coming, but I knew that I couldn’t face it naked.
“What exactly do you understand?” He sounded almost patronizing now.
“I understand that because of me, you could be killed.” I tied on my shoes.
Marcus took my hands and brought them to his chest. His eyes, sought mine. “I’m not worried about it. I’ve managed to hide you all this time. Raymose will keep our secret. There is no reason Luther would ever find out about you.”
“Aidric! It’s only a matter of time before he tells Luther about me.” I looked concernedly into Marcus’s eyes. “I’m just part of the deception. What would Luther say if he knew we were going to have a baby?”
Marcus's face fell. I could see real fear in his eyes. It morphed into anger. “I will protect you—both of you.” His resolve was stronger than ever.
“At what cost?” I closed my eyes, shaking away the image. This wasn’t going to happen. I wouldn’t let it. If I were gone, Marcus would be safe. He could deny being with me because technically, we wouldn’t be together . . . Luther hadn’t seen me . . . he’d just assume Aidric was lying.
I knew deep down Marcus would never let me go without him, especially now. He was so protective of me. I also knew that Luther would question Marcus's absence if he were to suddenly disappear. He would most likely question Raymose as well . . . we’d be putting him in terrible danger. I had to find a way for Luther to accept us. It was the only way to guarantee all of our safeties.
“Don’t think on it any longer.” Marcus reached out and held my face in his hands, his soft eyes melting me where I stood. “I’ll protect you both—or die trying,” he added darkly. “Would you believe me capable of anything less?”
I gave him a flat smile. How could I not love this man? And how could I not protect him? “No.” I shook my head, answering him at last. “I wouldn’t believe you capable of anything less.” I kissed his lips.