CHAPTER V.
_How to ride a Horse on three Legs._
Fame never permits her votaries to rest, and once a man has gained acertain reputation for any thing, he is wise who can be the humblestunder it, because he is conscious only of demerit. Should Fame deserthim, he will never sink under it. He will say, "I had a great deal morethan I deserved; let me be content." Wise man indeed! Doctor Gambado,however, found that Fame did not desert him nor his practice. He was themore sought after, the more personally-retired he would become.Bread-street is not now celebrated for the worthies it was an hundredyears ago; but there are worthy men in it, and perhaps worthier thanthose an hundred years ago, though not so celebrated for_eccentricities_. Man's nature alters very materially under theimpression of time. Men inveigh against fashion; but the most convenientfashion is that which is the simplest after all. Clerical habitsalter; externally they go for a class, a profession, or degree. We hopethat external feature will never be mistaken for internal; or the clergywould be black indeed. Quakerism used to be a badge of simplicity indress and manners, till the self-possession of prosperity destroyed theequanimity of judgment; and men set them down for exactly their worth.But gently, my steed, gently; too long soliloquies generally make a manyawn.
Doctor Gambado had to go from London to York, and to visit no less aperson than one of the greatest ecclesiastical dignitaries of the land,as the following letter will show.
"Precincts, York, October 10th, 1774.
"SIR,--Doctor Greathead is desirous of consulting you, as speedily as possible; and if you have an eminent veterinary surgeon, who can accompany you, the Doctor will pay all expenses, as he has a favourite horse very ill. Travel post, if you please.
I am sir, your humble servant, GEORGE GOTOBED, Hon. Sec. &c. &c."
Characteristic of simplicity was the Doctor's letter, that very instant,to John Tattsall, written on a scrap and sent by his own servant.
"JOHN,--Will you be ready to start for York in an hour?
"Your's,--GAMBADO."
John's reply was more laconic.
"Yes.
"Your's,--J. T."
In one hour see this loving couple off for York. Each confiding in theother's integrity, they each took plenty of money with them. At thattime, travelling by post or by coach was no joke. In a general way, fromLondon to York was a four days' journey; but now, four hours will dogreat things.
We are not going to bother our readers with a description of all theadventures of these worthies on their way. How many times they wereupset. How many times the post boy's horse fell down. How many spokes,fellies, or hobs, were splintered. Let it suffice that, with two suchresolute men inside, who were never at a loss for contrivances under thevery worst circumstances, they were sure to get safely through thejourney.
Had the reader seen the blunderbuss,--yes, the bell-mouthed brassblunderbuss,--with a strange springing bayonet at the muzzle, the momentit was discharged, and this placed in the fore front of the carriage,directly opposite the sword case behind, he would indeed have said theDoctor was well provided against any robbers of the Yorkshire Ridings.
John, too, had a brace of pistols under his belt. They had no occasion,however to use them. They were conspicuous enough to every post-boy,waiter, and stable-keeper. Whether that kept them from an attack, weknow not; but they were not attacked, and arrived safely at the thencelebrated Precincts, close to the Cathedral.
They found the great Doctor Greathead, seated in an invalid chair, aboutfour o'clock in the afternoon. His first words of salutation were thoseof hospitality.
"Gentlemen, have you had any refreshment after your journey?"
Doctor Gambado declared they had only just stept out of the carriage.
"Before I converse with the gentlemen, show them into the refectory. Iwill be prepared, half an hour hence, for our consultation."
Glad was Doctor Gambado, to refresh his stomach after travel, and notless glad John Tattsall to partake of the great divine's hospitality.
They did ample justice to the good things set before them; and asneither of them had any favour to ask of this great man, but both hadsomething to confer, they were in no fear of taking too much or toolittle.
The butler was very attentive, and asked if they had had any adventuresupon the road. Of course he received a courteous reply. The Doctorinquired if there was any thing new in York. New York was then unknown;but _York New Theatre_ was then the go all over the north. It was justfinished in most exquisite style, and was in fact the lion of the north.
"You will have plenty to see, sir," said the butler, "if you never wereat York before. Our Minster is the wonder of the world."
"But your master, he must be a wonder?"
Very few masters are wonders in their butler's eyes, though many abutler becomes a wonder in the service of his master.
"There is nothing very wonderful about my master, except his presentindisposition; and I most sincerely hope that your visit may do himgood."
The butler had great respect for Doctors, and for Doctors that hadbefore them the title of Right Reverend, or His Grace, or My Lord, orThe Venerable; and these or some of these, he was accustomed to seeevery day; but an M.D. F.R.S. was not often in his view. He had notedthese letters upon Doctor Gambado's card. The other gentleman had nocard, and, therefore, he concluded that he was the greater man.
The footman came in to announce that his master was ready to receiveDoctor Gambado and his friend.
There was something formidable in entering the presence of so great adivine as Doctor Greathead; but they were not going in for anexamination of themselves, but to examine.
"Now, my friends, I can talk to you. I did not like talking to starvingmen, lest they should be ready to eat me up; and you will say, theywould have enough to do to do that. But there are no cannibals at York,or I might have been eaten up long ago. Still, I regret to say that Ihave a disease preying upon my vitals; and except you can prescribe acure, Doctor, I am afraid it is all up with me."
"We can prescribe no cure, without understanding the nature of thecomplaint."
"But it is that which puzzles the faculty in York. They say I have nobodily complaint; that it is all upon the _nerves_; and therefore it is,that in applying to my friend, Doctor Turnbull, to know if he knew anyphysician in London celebrated for his knowledge of the treatment ofnervous cases, he mentioned you as the author of a book upon the nervoussystem; and I desired my secretary to write to you. You have well doneto come to us, and we hope to receive benefit from your advice."
"I am obliged to Doctor Turnbull, for the mention of my name; but I mustmake some inquiries about your bodily health?"
"How is your appetite?" "Good."
"How is your sleep?" "Good."
"How is your sight?" "Good."
"How is your pulse?" "Try it."
"What do you say yourself?" "It is good."
"Have you any fever?" "None."
"Have you any particular pain?" "No."
"Do you walk much?" "No."
"Do you ride much?"
"I can ride no longer; and I fear this is one of the painful causes ofmy strange distemper."
"Are you accustomed to horseback exercise?"
"Constant: I used to ride on the Carlisle road every day, till about amonth since, and now I never ride."
"Why not?"
"I have lost the fancy or taste for it, and somehow I care no longerabout it."
"Ah! that's bad! That's bad of itself. You met with no accident, to giveyour nervous system a shock, did you?"
"None whatever, except that my favourite old horse could go no longer,and I no longer felt inclined to go."
"But there are other horses that might be had equally as good."
"None, sir, None! I do not believe there is another horse in Englandthat could carry me, like my old gra
y."
"If Yorkshire cannot suit you, I know no other county in the kingdomlikely to do so. Surely, Doctor Greathead, you must be deceived in thisrespect?"
"Deceived or not, Doctor Gambado, I am not deceived in saying this, thatI will ride no other horse; and, in fact, I would rather ride that horseon three legs, if he could be made to go upon them, then any other horseupon four."
Great men as well as little men have singular crotchets in their headssometimes; and if these crotchets cannot be altered, they will go on insuch a monotonous tone that they never get out of it. The Doctor was alearned scholar, and a very good divine; but his favourite horse was asdear to him as a lady's favourite cat or cap could be to her.
He had rode the same horse ten years, and had got so attached to him,that when that horse was seized with a lameness in the off hind leg, andcould no longer stand or go upon it, the Doctor's sympathies increasedwith his favourite, though he was no longer any use to him. Like hismaster, the animal fed well, and could sleep well, but he could not go.
"Have you seen my horse?"
"I came to see yourself first, Doctor, and I can have no objection to goand see your horse, in company with my friend Mr. John Tattsall, who Ishould say knows more of a horse than any man living; and can make ahorse go, I verily believe, on three legs."
The very idea gave animation to Doctor Greathead's features.
"I will walk with you to the stables."
He rang the bell, ordered his hat, gloves, and even his riding whip, soprecocious was the idea that the Doctor had conceived of being able tomount once more his favourite gray.
The horse was led out, and came out upon three legs; the other evidentlyof no use to him. In fact he could not put it to the ground.
John examined the sturdy old fellow, who had a small head and stoutlegs; he pronounced him to be afflicted with an incurable disease in thecoffin-bone, and said he never could go upon that leg. He looked at allthe other limbs, and pronounced them _all right_.
"A fine old horse, your Reverence; a fine old horse, fit to carry yourworship's weight; but he never will go again upon all fours."
"Can he ever be made to go upon three?"
"I see no reason to doubt it. The disabled limb is only such from thefetlock to the hoof; if the joint could be supported from the hock tothe fetlock, and pressure be produced so as to keep that leg up to hisbody, without any weight falling upon the tendons of the foot, I see noreason why the horse should not canter upon three legs,--I do not saywith the same ease as he would upon four sound ones; but certainlyeasier far than he could upon the four as they now are."
"You are a sensible man, sir, and what you say seems feasible. Whatwould you suggest?"
"Let one of your grooms go and get a Yorkshire weaver's strap that willgo once round the animal's body, and at the same time catch up theanimal's leg,--and fasten it with a stout Birmingham buckle, so that thepower shall be exerted in the leg bone without the fetlock or the foot;and I think your Reverence will be able to show to all the world _how toride a horse on three legs_."
"Good! good! Let it be done immediately: I verily believe it can bedone."
It literally was done, and in one hour Doctor Greathead showed that hehimself was alive again. He mounted his favourite gray; and though theanimal laid its ears, and lifted up its hind quarters, rather higherthan usual, it went; and did perform what the Doctor never expected itto do again--namely, carried him a mile on the Carlisle road, and thatwithout a fall.
It did the Doctor good whenever he did ride it. How often that was, wehave no record to tell us.
He paid the Doctor of Medicine and his friend John Tattsall more thanwould have purchased three fine Yorkshire horses. In fact he paid forhis whim.
He was cured of his whim.
And Doctor Gambado and his friend John returned to town satisfied.
If men have fancies, bugbears of the mind, And money, too, to pay for what they want; Why should they not, like Doctor Greathead, find Their fancies made to profit more than cant? We all have fancies! what more should we say, Than if we would indulge them, we must pay?