She had no answers for herself. She only had a wadded up ball of anxiety and energy. She wished she had an exercise bike. She would pedal the entire night if that’s what it took to work off this steam. Jessica opted for the stairs instead and began hustling up and down the fourteen steps. Three times, four times. Her breathing and heart rate began to pulsate in time with her emotions. Six times up, six times down. Seven. Eight. At nine ascents and descents, Jessica stopped on the top stair, her heart pounding and her leg aching.
Kyle or no Kyle, she would survive. She never should have let things go as far as they had. She never should have gone to Mexico. But then, she wouldn’t have turned her life over to the Lord.
“God?” Jessica panted. “I am doing the right thing, aren’t I? You understand, don’t you?”
The only thought that came to Jessica was to surrender. She didn’t like it. She decided to ignore it and take a hot bath and go to bed. She would feel better after a good night’s sleep.
Jessica didn’t feel better the next morning, because she couldn’t sleep. Greg Fletcher had already somehow managed to find her phone number. How long would he be thrown off her trail? And did she really want to live without Kyle? Yet how could she have a relationship with him when he was requiring her to do what she couldn’t. She felt cornered.
She struggled to get dressed and mentally prepared for the day. Yesterday she had told her classes they would have a test today, but she hadn’t prepared one. Probably none of the students would mind, but she didn’t like getting off schedule like this. Especially today, when her nerves were shot.
Jessica hurried out the front door and locked it behind her. When she turned around, she saw Kyle’s truck parked at the curb. Kyle was leaning against his vehicle, his arms folded across his chest.
I’m not ready for this. I can’t talk to him. Not yet. Not now.
Jessica kept her head down and cut across her front yard, walking briskly down the street toward school. She could hear Kyle coming after her. He fell into step with her and walked silently beside her for half a block before speaking.
“It’s no good running, Jess. Let’s face this together.”
Jessica didn’t answer. A thousand possible lines crossed her mind. None of them made it to her lips.
“I have a plane reservation for you,” Kyle said. “Portland to Los Angeles. You fly out this afternoon and return Sunday night. I’ve rented a car for you. Go talk to your dad, Jessica. Straighten this thing out and then come home to me.”
Jessica stopped walking and faced Kyle, her face flaming red. “Forget it!” she spouted.
Over their heads a pair of squirrels chittered and scurried across the telephone line, one of them in hot pursuit of the other. It flickered through Jessica’s thoughts that being pursued by a relentless tracker wasn’t so romantic after all.
“No, you think about it,” Kyle said, raising his voice. “I’ll pick you up at noon. You’ll have to get out of your last few classes, and you’ll only have a few minutes to pack. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t do this.”
Jessica narrowed her eyes and tried to bore her anger into Kyle’s steady gaze. He didn’t flinch. Like a rock, Kyle stood before her, jaw set, eyes clear, and his expression full of compassion.
“‘In matters of love, remain firm,’” Kyle said, quoting his fortune cookie. A smile inched onto his face.
Jessica felt her anger begin to drain from her and a weariness rush in to take its place. She had felt this inner exhaustion for a long time but had refused to acknowledge it. The resources simply weren’t available to carry on anymore. “Okay,” she whispered, looking down. “Okay.”
Kyle cupped her chin in his hand and lifted her face up toward him. He didn’t say anything but tenderly rubbed his thumb across the half-moon on her upper lip. This scar that had first brought them together seemed to have as powerful a draw for Kyle as it did for her. Under his touch, she laid down her defenses. All she could think of was the word surrender. She still didn’t like it.
“I’ll be ready at noon,” Jessica said, looking up and allowing herself to plunge into Kyle’s limpid green gaze.
He drew her close and pressed his cheek against her forehead. She thought he would kiss her, but he didn’t. He held her and whispered, “Thank you.” The faint scent of cinnamon floated past her nose.
Kyle pulled away and said, “I have to get to the station for a staff meeting. I’ll be at the school at noon. Sharp.”
“Okay,” Jessica said, watching him turn and sprint back to his truck. The interminable little squirrels frolicked down the thick wooden telephone pole and skittered past Jessica, then up a shady elm tree.
She arrived at school a few minutes late and was dismayed to find Charlotte waiting for her again in her classroom, perched once again on Jessica’s desk. A few students were already in the classroom. Jessica didn’t want them to hear whatever it was their principal had to say.
“You’re late,” Charlotte said.
Jessica sat in her chair, unlocking her desk and dropping her purse into the bottom drawer without acknowledging Charlotte.
“I had a nice chat with your Aunt Bonnie yesterday,” Charlotte said.
Jessica didn’t look up. When she had listed Bonnie and John as her nearest relatives, she had gambled that they would never be contacted. Obviously, Charlotte had taken upon herself the role of junior detective.
“She says the whole family has been frantic since you disappeared almost two months ago. None of them seemed to know you were here in Oregon.”
Jessica curled her toes inside her shoes and clenched her jaw, waiting for the next bit of information Charlotte had uncovered.
“Bonnie gave me a most interesting phone number.” Charlotte read each number slowly and deliberately. “Does that number ring any bells with you, Ms. Morgan?”
It was her father’s phone number. His private line.
“I tried him this morning, but Sharon—you know, his secretary, Sharon—well, Sharon said he’s just returning from a business trip and will be home later this afternoon.” Charlotte leaned over and pointed her finger at Jessica. “Either you tell me what is going on right this instant or I’ll fire you!”
“You can’t fire me,” Jessica said calmly. “That would have to be a board decision.”
“Well, after I talk with your father I’m sure I’ll have enough information to present to the board at the Monday night meeting.” Charlotte was speaking loud enough for the students to hear her. “You did notice your name on the agenda, didn’t you?”
“Excuse me,” Jessica said, reaching for her purse and rising from her seat. “I don’t seem to be feeling very well. It looks as if I’ll need to use one of my sick days today.”
Jessica walked past Charlotte and out the door. She didn’t stop walking until she arrived home. Then she called Kyle at the fire station and told him what had happened.
“You did the right thing,” he said. “She was probably trying to force you to quit, the way she tricked Mrs. Blair into quitting. If you had quit, getting your job back would be a mess. You’re entitled to sick leave. It was a good move, Jess. Do you want to leave now for the airport? I’m pretty sure we can switch you to an earlier flight.”
“Okay,” Jessica said. “Let me throw some clothes in a suitcase.”
“I’ll be right over,” Kyle said.
“Kyle?”
He had already hung up. Everything was coming at her so fast. She wanted to tell him thanks for setting up this encounter, even though she dreaded it. The meeting with her father was now imperative and inevitable.
Jessica threw some clothes in her garment bag and grabbed her cosmetics from the bathroom. The phone rang as she was zipping up the bag.
“Jess? It’s Teri. What’s going on? Dawn said Charlotte fired you, and you walked out on the spot.”
“No, I’m actually taking a sick day,” Jessica said, balancing the portable phone on her shoulder and making a second trip to the closet
for another pair of shoes. “I’m going to California. I’ll be back Sunday night.”
“You’re what?”
“I don’t have time to explain now,” Jessica said, hearing Kyle’s truck. “I’ll talk to you on Monday.” She hung up, hoping Teri would accept her hurried explanation.
The phone immediately rang again.
“What do you think you’re trying to pull, walking out of your class like that?” Charlotte demanded.
“I came home sick,” Jessica said. It wasn’t far from the truth. At this moment she was perspiring and felt as if she might throw up. “Teachers are allowed to be sick. It says so in my contract. Please excuse me. I need to hang up now.”
Charlotte’s voice was raised in anger as Jessica pressed the off button and lugged her garment bag down the stairs. She opened the door just as Kyle knocked. “I’m all ready,” she said.
Kyle took her bag from her. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”
“It’s been a rather full morning,” she said, reaching for her purse and locking the door. She couldn’t help but feel like a felon, leaving school in the middle of the morning and hurrying out of town. “Plus I didn’t sleep much last night.”
Jessica hopped into the truck, and Kyle started down the road toward the highway. She wiped the perspiration from her forehead and rolled down her window. A light rain fell in the window at an angle. She didn’t mind. It was cooling.
“I’ve been such a jerk, Kyle,” Jessica said, reaching over and squeezing his arm. “I’m sorry I’ve put you through all this. I appreciate you making these arrangements for me and sticking to it. I would have let things go as long as I could, but now, with Charlotte breathing down my neck, you’re right. I need everything to be out in the open and cleared up.”
“What does Charlotte think she’ll find?” Kyle asked, turning on the windshield wipers.
Jessica closed her window and slid over closer to Kyle. “I don’t know what she’s trying to prove. I haven’t done anything illegal or immoral. The bottom line is that I ran away from home. That’s it in a nutshell. I’m a twenty-five-year-old runaway. There’s no law against that, is there?”
“Why didn’t you want anyone to find you?”
Jessica searched her brain for words that she felt comfortable giving to Kyle. “The only way I can say it is that I don’t want to be daddy’s little girl anymore. I know that probably doesn’t make sense to you, Kyle, but it’s the best explanation I can offer you right now. Maybe when I come back Sunday night I can clarify things for you. For now, all I can tell you is that if I ever hoped to have my own life, it had to be far away from my father.”
“How are things different now?” Kyle asked.
“Nothing is different,” Jessica said quickly, resting her hand on top of his. “Except me. I’m different. In all the bizarre circumstances I’ve been through in the past few months, I think I’ve changed a lot. I believe I can stand up to my father now and tell him I’ve made my own life and I intend to live it without his intervention. He will be angry when I tell him I’ve become a Christian.”
“Why’s that?”
“Let’s just say Christianity doesn’t mix well with my father’s lifestyle.”
“Are you going to be okay?” Kyle asked. “Do you want me to go with you?”
Jessica gave his shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll be okay. Thanks for asking, though. And really, Kyle, thanks for making me do this. I can’t believe how much lighter I feel inside knowing that I’m going to clear up this whole mess. You were right when you said that a secret is a heavy thing to carry around. Thank you, Kyle, for cutting my burden in half.”
Kyle glanced at Jessica and said, “Jess, I’m not even sure I know what your secret is. But I guess I don’t need to know all the details. It’s enough for me to see you’re willing to make room in your life for me.” He slipped his arm around her shoulder and said, “Funny thing about hearts. They can be as big as the ocean. But there’s only room in them to either be open or to harbor secrets. My heart’s open, Jess. It’s waiting for you. But I refuse to share your heart with an unresolved secret.”
Jessica basked in the honesty of Kyle’s words.
“This is a housecleaning weekend,” Jessica said. “Or should I say heart-cleaning. I promise you, Kyle, when I return, everything will be in order and ready for you to move in.”
He leaned over and kissed her softly on the temple. “That’s what I’ve been praying for,” he said.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jessica felt lighthearted during the flight to Los Angeles. She was able to catch an earlier flight and arrived in the early afternoon. As she stood in line at Hertz to pick up the car Kyle had rented for her, Jessica thought of how giving Kyle was. He had made all these arrangements for her, and when she said she would pay him back, he had brushed aside the offer as if the gift were of several dollars rather than several hundred. He had reserved an economy car for her, but Jessica asked for an upgrade. “A convertible please,” she said, pulling out her Oregon driver’s license.
The autumn afternoon was clear and sunny. Not too much smog and just enough of a breeze to keep things cool. The change was welcome from the drizzle they had experienced in Oregon for the past week and a half. Jessica pulled the red convertible onto the freeway and moved over to the fast lane as quickly as she could. The traffic was light and so was Jessica’s mood when she turned off on Sunset Boulevard and drove the familiar streets.
She thought about making a quick detour down to Venice Beach but realized she needed to face her father first. She could play on Saturday. Maybe she would go out to brunch at Chez Monique’s in Santa Monica. Or go shopping at the Beverly Center for some new boots to brace her for the Oregon slush she would return to.
Jessica made a left-hand turn into a residential area and wound up the hill. She pulled up to the white, locked gates and pressed her security code into the box beside her car. “Dennis?” She spoke into the box. “Are you there, Dennis?”
“Jessica?” came the startled voice, crackling through the box.
“Yes, it’s me. Surprise! Can you let me in?”
“Yes, ma’am!” The tall, ornate gates electronically swung open, and Jessica roared through them, around the fountain, and stopped in front of a uniformed man at the entryway to the lavish mansion.
“Dennis,” Jessica said, laughing as she hopped out and gave the man her keys and a big hug. “You look like a fish!” He was opening and closing his mouth, with his eyes bulging, but no sounds came from him.
“Where have you been?” Dennis asked when he found his voice. “Does your father know you’re here?”
“Not yet,” Jessica said, giving Dennis a quick peck on the cheek. “It’s good to see you.”
She stepped up to the front door. Before she could turn the knob, the door opened, and Elsie, one of the servants, curtsied and said, “Welcome home, Miss Jessica. We’ve all missed you.”
Jessica hugged Elsie, as well as three other servants who suddenly appeared. They were all too well trained to fully show their emotional shock, and they knew better than to ask her any questions.
“Is my father home?”
Elsie nodded. “He just walked in a few minutes ago. I’m surprised you didn’t pass each other on the freeway.”
“We might have,” Jessica said, feeling her heart beat a little faster. She was ready for this, wasn’t she? “I’ll see you later.” She gave them all a smile and headed for her father’s office in the south wing.
Jessica couldn’t help but notice how immaculate and expensive everything was. She hadn’t paid attention to the luxuries that had surrounded her when she was growing up here. Now, in contrast to her little cottage, everything seemed spacious and ornate. She hated it.
Slipping quietly into her father’s office, Jessica saw that Sharon was on the phone, taking notes, with her head down. She didn’t notice Jessica.
“Yes,” Sharon said, “I do remember you calling earlier. Yes,
Mr. Morgan is in the office. Let me put him on the line for you.” Sharon pressed a button, still not looking up or noticing Jessica. “Mr. Morgan? The woman I told you about, a Ms. Mendelson, is on line one.” Sharon saw Jessica; the secretary looked as if she might faint.
Jessica pressed her finger to her lips. “Let me surprise him,” she said.
Without a word, Sharon pushed the security button on her desk to release the lock on the office door. Jessica tiptoed in. Her father was hunched over the desk, barking into the speakerphone. “Yes, yes. You’re a school principal. Now where is my daughter?”
“Right here, Daddy,” Jessica said. She stood her ground and watched her father’s head snap up and his mouth drop open.
“Are you still there, Mr. Morgan?” Charlotte’s voice crackled over the speakerphone. “Mr. Morgan?”
Jessica stepped forward and said, “Yes, Charlotte, he’s here. And so am I.” Jessica pressed the button on the phone to disconnect the call. Her father rose from his leather chair like a huge bull, fists clenched, knuckles white on the desktop. He stared at her, at her shortened hair, at the scar on her lip. He hoarsely whispered, “Jessica?”
Then, before she could respond with her premeditated hug and kiss, he bellowed, “Where in the world have you been?”
“In Oregon,” she answered, trying to remain calm. “We need to talk, Dad.”
“We need to do more than talk, Jessica.” He stumbled from behind his desk and grabbed her firmly by the shoulders. “Do you have any idea what you have put me through? How could you do this to me? What were you thinking? And what on earth are you doing in Oregon?” Depleted of his initial burst of fury, Harold Morgan embraced his only daughter, pressing her face tightly against his suit. With his fierce embrace, Jessica caught the faint scent of whiskey and expensive cigars.
Her father released Jessica and held her at arm’s length. Had his thick, dark hair gone grayer around the temples? Perhaps his stylist was trying a new look on him. It seemed to her that he had had a chin tuck. Or else he had lost some weight. He wasn’t much taller than Jessica, but Harold Morgan was a thick man who devoted an hour a day to disciplined exercise with his personal trainer to keep his 198 pounds from tipping over the 200 mark.