"Shocking." I hopped off the edge of the porch. "Forget it. By the time we get it going, we could have walked to the car and back."
He hated to admit the challenge had bested him, but after another moment of fiddling, he hefted the book bag, and we set out.
We could still hear the distant song of the wolves, so we relaxed, knowing they were far off. We talked about the kids and the school dilemma--a good distraction.
Clay moved into the lead as the moon slid behind cloud cover. "Kindergarten is a waste of time."
"Says the guy who got kicked out."
"I wasn't kicked out."
"No, they just strongly suggested that Jeremy reconsider your readiness for school... and preferably find you another one to attend."
"Damned private schools. Elitist snobs."
"True. A public school would never get so worked up over a student dissecting the classroom guinea pig."
"It was already--"
"--dead. So I've heard. Which really wasn't the point."
"The point was that they failed to recognize my academic potential, and Logan is going to run into the same problems."
"We'll tell his teacher he's allergic to guinea pigs."
Clay let a branch fling back. I caught it before it hit my face.
"I'd agree," I said. "If Logan wasn't the one wanting to go to--"
Clay spun fast. I jumped, hands flying up, thinking he was goofing. Then I saw his face, rigid, as he stared out into the forest. A pair of eyes appeared from the darkness. Then another. And another.
"Shit," I said. "But we just heard them miles--That was another pack."
Clay stepped back toward me, my nylon coat whispering against his leather. I counted eleven pairs of eyes, and a couple more dark shapes farther back. A huge pack.
"Hear anything?" Clay asked.
He meant a growl or snarl, some warning of impending attack. But the wolves were silent, pale statues against the night, eyes glinting where the moonlight pierced the canopy.
"I think they'll leave us alone," Clay said.
"Just curious?"
He nodded and slipped behind me. "Keep walking. I'll keep a watch on the rear. No sudden moves or loud noises."
He knew I knew this--it was just his anxiety talking. For the first ten paces, the wolves stayed where they were. Then their eyes disappeared as they turned and started gliding along, still silent, keeping their distance, flanking us as we walked.
I'll never forget what that was like, the squeak of snow under my boots, adrenaline pumping so hard I didn't feel the cold, my breath coming in puffs, tiny clouds hanging in the air, the moonlight through the trees casting slices of light, the wolves gliding through them, then vanishing into the dark.
A wolf stopped in one of those moonlight slices. Its head swiveled as it looked the other way, deep into the forest. Another wolf stopped, then another, their gray shapes all turning.
One let out a low whine. Another growled. Clay tugged me back against him, his chin lifting, eyes searching, but the wolves paid us no attention. Then, on the wind, a scent whipped past, heavy and musky, the stink of it clinging to my throat.
Clay's face lifted, nostrils flaring. "What the hell is that?"
I took another sniff, but smelled only clean air now. The wolves hadn't budged. I swore I could feel their anxiety thrumming through the air.
The same wolf growled again. A bigger one twisted and snapped, like a grown-up telling a teenager to shut up. The younger wolf's ears lowered and his grumble vibrated across the air, but didn't rise to a growl again.
And then, as if in reaction to a command I couldn't hear, the wolves all turned and started to run, tearing back the way they'd come, paws pounding.
Only one remained--the wolf farthest from us, a dark shape I hadn't noticed hidden behind his lighter brethren. He stood his ground, hackles up, and even from here, I could hear the low warning growl.
The moon slid from behind wispy clouds, beaming light into the dark pockets between the trees, and I got a good look at him--not a black wolf but a dark red one, nearly twice the size of the others. It was the one I'd seen at the window. The wolf that I'd been sure, for a moment, wasn't a wolf at all.
Before I could say anything to Clay, a smaller gray wolf ran back, lunging and dancing in front of the dark wolf, then darting behind him and nipping at his heels. He looked out into the forest. The smaller wolf bumped him, whining. He snorted and turned toward us, green eyes meeting mine. Then he took off after the others.
"Did you see...?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"Was that...?"
"Think so."
A werewolf with a wolf pack? I took a step off the path, but Clay caught my arm.
"I want to check his scent," I said. "See whether he was one of the mutts who killed Dennis."
"We'll come back. Right now, we need to get to the truck before we find out what scared them off."
"Whatever it was, I think it's gone. I only caught that one whiff."
Clay kept his fingers on my arm, guiding me along the path.
"Did it smell like wolf to you?" I asked.
"Wolf?" He pursed his lips, considering it. "I thought it might, but I was picking up the wolves following us. With that stink, I was going wolverine. If it made the wolves run, though, I'm guessing bear."
"A pack that size running from a bear?"
He prodded me forward when I slowed. "Did you see that stuffed one in the hotel lobby? Damn near eight feet tall. I see anything that big, I'm running, too."
The moon passed behind thicker clouds and I slowed again, blinking hard as the path went dark.
"Get behind me," he said.
Clay's night vision beat mine, so he led the way, slowly but surefooted. As we walked, I swear it got darker, even the glow of the cloud-covered moon erased from the night sky.
I was about to say we definitely needed to invest in flashlights. Then a scent wafted past my nose, that awful musky smell coming from downwind meaning it was right beside--
Clay spun, his fist in flight, eyes widening as he realized he'd led with his bad arm. He checked himself, his left punching as I wheeled. Something plowed square into my back, knocking the wind from my lungs. My feet flew off the ground and I braced myself for a fall. Instead I jerked up short, legs windmilling, suspended in the air, that stench washing over me, held aloft by the back of my coat. As I twisted to see what had me, Clay pile-drove the beast. It grunted in surprise, and I went flying, my jacket ripping.
I slammed into a tree. Pain exploded. As I tumbled into a heap at the base, I blinked, barely able to see. Clay's face appeared over mine. He gave a whoosh of relief, seeing my eyes open.
Before I could speak, trees crackled, branches snapping. A snarl. Then a snort. Clay spun, fists sailing up. The crashing continued, growing distant. Clay waited, poised for a fight. When he was sure the beast was gone, he scooped me up. My head throbbed, hot blood trickling down my neck. Clay broke into a jog, carrying me.
When we reached the SUV, he bundled me inside and tried checking my injuries, but I pushed him away.
"Drive," I said. "Even the extra vehicle insurance isn't going to cover a bear attack."
He swung into the driver's seat and had the tires spinning before the door slammed shut. He tore to the end of the trail. When we reached the end of the next one, he pulled over.
"The blood is from my nose," I said, holding a handful of tissues to it. "It's not even broken."
He said nothing, just came around to my side to assess the damage for himself. He cleaned me up and when he was done, he checked for other cuts and found two scrapes.
"Jacket off."
I didn't argue. If he'd been the one thrown into a tree, I'd be doing the same. Maybe that's the wolf. Maybe it's just us.
He helped me out of my jacket. As he pulled it away, I saw four long tears in the back, tiny feathers fluttering out like snowflakes.
"Shit."
I wanted to ask what had a
ttacked me--a bear, I presumed--but the set of his jaw said he wasn't ready to talk yet, cheek muscles working, gaze hard as he checked my ribs and neck.
When he finished, he stood. His nostrils flared, breath puffing, then he wheeled, fist slamming into the nearest tree.
"Fuck!" He hit the tree again, so hard it groaned. "I used the wrong fucking arm. Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
I slid from the SUV and stepped in front of him, grabbing his fist as it flew again.
"That thing could have killed you," he said. "All because I led with the wrong fucking arm."
His fist drove toward the tree. I caught it, held both his hands tightly, then leaned in to kiss him. He didn't respond at first, his breath coming hard and fast, rage and frustration roiling in his eyes. I kissed him again and the watershed broke. He grabbed me in a fierce, bruising kiss that had none of the playful edge from earlier. I wrapped my hands in his hair and returned it, ignoring the pain in my nose, feeding on his rage and the frustration, feeling it slide away and, under it, the raw taste of fear--that terror that he wasn't as good a fighter anymore, not as good as he needed to be, not good enough to protect his Alpha and his family.
He pushed me up against the tree, then stopped as I winced.
"Your back," he said.
"My neck." I made a face. "I'd say it's okay, but on second thought, this is one escape we should probably complete before having sex."
He helped me into the car despite my protests that I was fine.
"So what was that?" I asked as he got in. "A bear?"
"All I saw was something big and hairy. I was busy watching you get tossed around by it."
"It was strong, whatever it was," I said, rubbing my sore neck.
"I tried to get a better look as it ran away, but it was too dark."
"I think it did that on purpose."
"What?" he said.
"It waited until the moon was completely behind the clouds, then stayed downwind so we wouldn't smell anything until it was right beside us. One very smart predator."
"A bear's not that smart."
"No. But a yeti might be."
He looked over sharply. Ten years ago, he'd have known I was joking, but with all we'd seen since then, the supernatural world unfolding before us, he wasn't sure until he caught my smile.
"The yeti is from the Himalayas, darling. That'd be a helluva swim. Around here, it'd have to be a Sasquatch or Bigfoot."
"I stand corrected, professor. But on that subject, I wonder if that thing has anything to do with Dennis's research. He saw it and was trying to figure out what it was."
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. We need to go over those notes. First, though, I want to find a grizzly--or at least a stuffed one. Get a good whiff of that."
I nodded. "Cross off the mundane possibilities before we start looking at the supernatural ones. And speaking of supernatural, what was up with that mutt? A werewolf running with a wolf pack?"
"There's stuff like that in the Legacy."
The Legacy was the Pack's bible--our combination of werewolf myth and genealogy. It did include a few stories of werewolves who'd embraced their wolf nature, choosing to immerse themselves in that side and that society. I'd always brushed them off as stories.
We reached the highway. It was so empty that I had to check the clock. Not even ten o'clock? Hard to believe.
As I ratcheted back my seat to rest, I noticed Clay gripping and ungripping the steering wheel with his right hand, flexing it.
Just before the twins were born, a zombie had scratched Clay. It'd broken the skin, but his arm got so badly infected that we'd been sure he'd lose it. Instead, he'd lost muscle and some function when the infected tissue had to be cut out to save the rest.
"It's as good as it's ever going to be," he said when he noticed me watching. "I can do all the physical therapy I want, but it's not getting any better."
"Even at less than perfect, it's a damned sight better than most."
No answer. Better than most wasn't good enough. Clay had to be the best.
I continued, "We've suspected for a while that you've hit the limits of rehabilitation. Now we need to keep working on rerouting those neural pathways, teaching you to favor the left, which in most cases you do."
"Not tonight."
"Because you were surprised, so we need to work on your reactions when you're caught off guard. Jeremy can help--no one's better at sneaking up. And if we can't break you of the habit, you might be better to lead with your right and follow up with your left rather than pull back."
"Yeah." His shoulders relaxed. "That's an idea." He glanced at me. "I don't mean to brood."
"You're frustrated. As the queen of fretting, I'm certainly not going to complain."
He nodded, and I knew we were both thinking about the same thing: the latest object of my fretting, my ascension to Alphahood... yet another reason for Clay to worry about his bad arm.
BALANCE
WE WENT THROUGH a burger drive-through. That served as appetizers, gone before we reached the hotel where we ordered last-minute room service--a couple of decent Alaskan crab sandwiches and a big bowl of surprisingly good seafood chowder.
As Clay finished, he stretched out beside me on the bed. "So, are we going to finish our conversation about you becoming Alpha?"
"I thought we did."
"No, we stopped short of getting to the part where you tell me what's really bothering you. I've been putting together the pieces. First, you were eager for me to get home and discuss it, so whatever's bugging you must have something to do with me. But even after our talk, you're still worried."
I scraped the bottom of my bowl.
He shifted closer. "You're afraid that when you become Alpha, things between us will change."
Bull's-eye on the first shot. So why did my throat clench when I tried to agree? Why did my brain fill with dozens of other things to say, ways to deflect, to tease, to make light?
I swallowed and forced the words out. "I'm happy."
"Hard to say, isn't it?" He shifted onto his side, his voice lowering.
"No, I... Obviously I'm happy. You know that."
"Feeling happy, acting happy, letting me know in little ways that you are happy? That's easy. But saying the words? It's like saying you miss me. An admission of complacency. After what I did, you don't feel you should be truly happy with me. At least you shouldn't admit it, not to me."
I tried to look at him, but my neck muscles still wouldn't obey, so I stared into my bowl. "I know you didn't mean to bite me. Not like that--without my permission." He'd thought Jeremy was going to separate us and he'd panicked.
"I put you through hell and then I only made it worse, all the mistakes I made trying to get you back."
"I've forgiven you."
"Forgive, yes. Understand, yes. Forget, no."
My stomach clenched. "I want to forget. I want to get past it. Completely past it."
"You can't. You won't. Maybe you shouldn't. But we're making little steps. Saying you love me. Saying you want to be with me. Saying you trust me. And now saying you miss me. The next big hurdle is saying you like your life the way it is."
"I love my life." I met his gaze.
"And you're afraid that'll change if you become Alpha. More specifically, you're afraid we'll change." He shifted closer. "I spent ten years dreaming of getting us here--together, happy, kids--certain I'd fucked up too badly to even hope. If I honestly thought you becoming Alpha would ruin it, don't you think I'd kick up a fuss? Hell, I'd become Alpha myself if I had to."
I nodded.
"But you're still worried."
I sat up. "I'll get over it. Jeremy said he won't start the handover until the kids are in first grade, and even then we'll take it gradually. It's not like he's going anywhere. He's just... tired, I guess. Ready to train his successor."
"Are you ready to be that successor?"
I took a minute to think about it. "I'm... not sure. Right now, I'm most unco
mfortable with being your Alpha. No matter how bad things got between us, that's one thing that always meant a lot to me--that you saw us as partners, as equals, that I never had to fight for that."
"Who takes the lead in the field now? You do. Have for years."
"That's not the same thing. Jeremy puts me in charge, but you feel free to give your advice or jump in if I screw up. Like with Reese. You knew he'd only accept help if he felt it came with strings attached--I missed that completely."
"Is there any reason I can't keep doing that if you're Alpha?"
I looked at him. "Will you?"
He laughed. "You think you can stop me from giving my opinion?" He twisted to face me. "Tell you what. It'll be a few years before you're officially Alpha, but why don't we start the handover now, between us. When we're on assignment like this, you're Alpha. You call the shots. You give the orders. I obey."
I smiled.
"I said in the field," Clay growled. "On assignment."
I eased back, pulling my feet up. "Oh, I don't know. Half measures could just get confusing. The only way this is going to work is total role immersion. As second-in-command, your job is to take care of me. Make me happy. Fulfill my every whim."
"You're ascending to Alpha hood, not god hood."
"Close enough."
He grabbed my ankles as I tried to back up farther. "The only way this is going to work, darling, is through total role balance. In public, you call the shots. In private, I'm in charge."
"Pfft."
He leaned over. "You do want to make this work, don't you?"
"Not that badly."
I rocked back fast, wrenching my feet free and swinging out of bed. When he leapt up, I held out my hands, warding him off.
"And how long do you think that would work for you?" I asked. "Total control? A submissive wife means you don't get to win control anymore. No more chases. No more fights. Not much fun in dominance games if you're the winner by default."
"True..."
"You'd miss that, wouldn't you?"
He stepped toward me, eyes glittering.
"Uh-uh," I said, backing up. "It's a very small hotel room."
"But now that you've mentioned it, maybe I am feeling a little threatened by this whole Alpha business."
I stepped back, smacking into the dresser. "No..."
"I'm feeling the need to... I don't know. Reassert myself."
"Don't you--"
I dove out of his way, but didn't quite make it. He grabbed the front of my shirt. I yanked free, toppling a floor lamp. Clay grabbed it before it fell.