“I am Koyane,” the man said. Power reverberated through each word and shivered over her. “I am a vassal of my lady Izanami and preside over her affairs when she cannot be present.”
“You’re a kami?”
“Yes,” he said with a gentle smile. His face was smooth, unlined with age. Long black hair was bound high on the back of his head, the smooth tail falling down his back. Layers of formal garments—kimono, hakama, long haori—in shades of burgundy and brown spilled over the dais around him. She stared at him as it sank in that she was looking at a human body inhabited by a kami. If the kannushi manual was correct, the man she looked upon no longer existed now that the kami had taken him.
“Approach, child, and tell me what has brought you here from Amaterasu’s shrine.”
She slowly advanced toward the dais and knelt in front of the step, folding her hands neatly in her lap. She wished she’d brought her miko uniform; her modern clothes felt embarrassingly wrong. After another brief glance at Koyane, she dropped her gaze; it was inappropriate to meet the eyes of a kami.
“I came here to speak to Izanami,” she said slowly. Did she want to ask this kami for the truth? A tiny, traitorous thought had lingered in her mind since she’d first made her request of Shiro: if the Amatsukami verified she would be destroyed on the solstice, should she beg for her life? She hadn’t decided yet if she was willing to ask for such a thing. If she asked, it would irrevocably confirm she wasn’t the person of honor she wanted to be, that she was too selfish to sacrifice her life. Until she asked, she could cling to the hope that she wasn’t that contemptible.
“Tell me what troubles you, child,” Koyane murmured with a hint of impatience. When she glanced up, he offered her another gentle smile, taking the edge off his tone.
“I am …” She paused, glancing at the two kannushi, who watched her wordlessly.
“My attendants are my vassals,” Koyane said, understanding her hesitation. “They act only at my will.”
The kannushi were kami too? They had to be lesser kami; she couldn’t sense any power from them the way she could feel ki radiating off Koyane like heat from a fire. His presence was as dominating as the sun, impossible to ignore and very different from any of the yokai she’d met, but it was similar to the warm power that sometimes flowed through her when she prayed.
Anxiety rippled through her, flowing from deep inside. Amaterasu’s warning pounded in her head in time with her pulse but she ignored it.
“I am the kamigakari of Amaterasu,” she said. “I have come to Izanami seeking the truth about kamigakari.”
Silence pressed in on the room. Koyane’s ki seemed to seethe all around her before stilling. Amaterasu’s presence within her went quiet too, almost as though the Amatsukami was waiting to see what Koyane would say.
“The truth?” he echoed, almost cautiously.
Emi squeezed her eyes tightly shut. Her voice wavered with emotion she could scarcely contain. “I’ve dedicated my entire life to Amaterasu, even before I became the kamigakari. I gave up everything—my family, friendships, freedom, autonomy—to be the best kamigakari for Amaterasu because I thought, when she descended, that we would share my body together and I would get to live and experience all her greatness with her.”
She opened her eyes and looked at Koyane. “I recently found out that the kamigakari’s mind and soul are destroyed when the Amatsukami descends. I need to know: Is that true?”
He gazed back at her, showing no surprise, none at all. Her heart shriveled in her chest as a terrible, icy weight settled over her.
“The decision of Amaterasu’s servants to deceive you is unfortunate, child,” Koyane said, his tone soft with compassion. “I am so very sorry to tell you that what you have learned is true.”
Despair bowed her head and she fought back tears.
“It is a tragic necessity,” the kami murmured. “If we could spare our hosts that fate, we most certainly would. The sacrifice of a kamigakari is indeed great, and to not know what price you agreed to … you must feel betrayed, child.”
She bobbed her head mutely, struggling to pull herself together. Koyane had confirmed her worst fear and she didn’t know what to do. The slim hope that the book had been wrong was all that had kept her sane these past days. Now what? Accept her fate? Beg for her life?
“Only a few weeks remain until the solstice,” he said thoughtfully. “How tragic, how very tragic.”
He rose to his feet, his long haori sweeping the floor behind him. Stepping off the dais, he gestured for her to stand. Confused, she clambered up, her knees shaking with the force of the emotions moving through her.
“Let me see your kamigakari mark, child.”
With growing confusion, she unbuttoned the top of her blouse and opened it. The black mark glared on her skin. She tried not to blush as he looked at her chest—at her cleavage, essentially. She flinched when he reached out but he merely hooked a finger through the tie of the omamori hanging around her neck. He lifted it so the silk bag hung above her chest.
“An omamori to hide your ki? Of course. How wise. Forgive me, child, but I could not sense Amaterasu’s presence within you with the omamori in place.” With the string still on one finger, he used his thumb to wipe a tear from her cheek; she hadn’t realized she’d shed it. “You have suffered greatly, have you not, child? To have come all this way from Shion, hoping against hope that Izanami would have a different truth for you.”
“It wasn’t that far,” she mumbled, doing up a couple buttons even though he still held her omamori. “I’m staying at the Shirayuri Shrine in Kiroibara.”
He nodded, the motion slow and thoughtful. “A small shrine where no one would think to search for you,” he murmured. “The servants of Amaterasu have grown clever.”
Releasing the omamori and letting it fall against her chest, he took her chin gently in his fingers. “Clever, but not vigilant. Not at all, to allow such a vulnerable treasure to slip from their protection.”
Anxiety, her own this time instead of Amaterasu’s, slid over her like a winter breeze.
“Such suffering, such tragedy.” He sighed and canted his head slightly to one side. “You have been so very brave, child. Do you wish to be freed from your destiny as the kamigakari?”
She went utterly still. Freed? She hadn’t planned to ask. When he’d verified the truth, the question had clawed at her throat, but she’d swallowed it down, denying it. Cowardice and selfishness—those were the defining qualities she would take into her new life if she abandoned her duty.
But now he was offering to free her, and the need to survive, to continue living, burned through her entire body.
“I can see it in your eyes,” he declared. “You wish to be freed. Kimura Emi, I will grant your request, though you are too brave and honorable to speak it.”
Tears spilled down her cheeks, though she wasn’t sure whether they were born from relief or dread. “I—I don’t—”
His tender smile bloomed and his gentle grip on her chin tightened. Light flashed brightly beneath his fingers and power surged into her, searing her nerves like fire. Her confused stuttering cut off and her mouth gaped open in a soundless scream. All her muscles locked in place, paralyzing her.
“You are a sweet child, kamigakari,” he said placidly while she stood frozen. “Earnest and so very innocent.”
“What …” she gasped, the words rasping from her rigid throat. “What … are you …”
“What am I doing?” He stroked his fingers down her cheek and she couldn’t even jerk away. “I am granting your wish, dear child. I am freeing you from your fast-approaching fate as the kamigakari.”
He leaned closer, so close she could feel his breath on her face as he spoke. “The kamigakari mark is tied to your ki, and so to grant your wish, I shall extinguish your ki. You will be freed from all burdens.”
Her blood turned to ice. Extinguishing her ki would extinguish her life too. He was talking about killing her. He was going to free her by
killing her!
“N-no, don’t! I don’t want—”
His hand closed around her jaw, forcing her head up. She glimpsed his black eyes gleaming with anticipation.
Warmth tingled through her, gathering in her chest. Her kamigakari mark flashed white hot. Power crashed through her like electricity flowing in her blood. It roared through her veins and burst out of her as blue-tinged lightning.
Koyane flew backward, hurled away from her. Freed from his binding, she could finally move. Her hands rose of their own accord. Power ripped down her arm and blasted toward him in another bolt. He flung his hands up and cast a shimmering barrier that deflected her attack.
“You cannot save her, Amaterasu!” Koyane roared, struggling to his feet.
Emi’s fingers twirled, forming strange patterns in the air. Wind erupted in the room, howling in a cyclone that tore around and around the space with Emi standing in its center. Koyane staggered and fell to his knees as the two kannushi were thrown back into the walls. Emi turned, another’s will guiding her movements, and ran for the doors.
White light lit the room, blinding after the darkness. A glowing circle sprang into existence, the barrier rising across her path. Emi slid to a stop and spun. Koyane knelt at the edge of a circle inlaid in the floor, previously invisible in the dim lighting.
He grinned. “Amaterasu, how long it has been.”
Emi’s hands rose again, divine ki scorching her like an inferno in her blood. Koyane slapped his hands down on another line in the floor.
A second circle lit up, filled with unfamiliar patterns and markings—a marugata. The lines glowed white all around her. Power poured from the circle into her. She screamed as it ripped through her, tearing apart her ki. Her body arched, feet lifting off the floor as the spell suspended her within its binding—a marugata to contain a kami.
Koyane rose, his composed little smile back in place. The lines glowed brightly, the spell bound tight around her and inside her. He sauntered casually into the circle, unaffected.
“Amaterasu.” He sighed the name. “How futile your efforts have been these last hundred years. And to let your kamigakari walk to her own death mere weeks before your descension? You have always been the weakest and most foolish of the Amatsukami. To even imagine you could wield enough power through this pathetic child to stop me is amusing.”
She clenched her teeth against the agony of the spell as the hot presence of Amaterasu faded, burned away by the marugata.
“You have done me a great favor, however,” the kami continued, his voice dropping to a murmur. Hungry anticipation filled his face. “To flood this flesh vessel with so much of your ki … I can sense it rushing through her veins.”
His fingers closed around Emi’s jaw again, pulling her face toward his until his black eyes filled her vision.
“I can already taste it,” he whispered.
He brought his face down, and with his fingers digging hard into her cheeks, he latched his mouth onto hers.
For a brief, panicked instant, she thought he was kissing her. Then he inhaled.
As her breath was pulled out of her lungs, the suction reached deep inside her. Pain tore through her insides as he ripped her soul from her flesh. He drew her breath and her ki from her, drinking her life into his body.
Agony shredded her. She was coming apart, her spirit torn away, her life force dwindling with each second. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t scream. Weakness spread through her body. Numbness crept through her limbs. As the agony peaked, darkness slid over her vision, dimming the glow of the marugata.
In a burst of light, orange flames exploded all around her.
Koyane released her and the spell binding her in place broke. The pain vanished, replaced by an impossible crushing weight as she collapsed. Arms closed around her before she could hit the floor, scooping her against a warm chest.
“A yokai?” Koyane snarled. A pause, then he laughed mockingly. “A kitsune! You have come to die, fool.”
She hung in Shiro’s arms, compressed beneath an unfathomable weight. What was crushing her? Why wasn’t it hurting him too? Her sluggish brain puzzled over it. Ah. The weight was her own body. So heavy. She couldn’t move. Her arms and legs were numb blocks. Her lungs were so heavy she could barely expand them.
Shiro straightened. Her head lolled and her eyes were only open because closing them would require effort. Everything was a blur; even focusing her gaze was too much. It took all she had just to keep breathing.
“It seems like an odd twist of fate that a yokai must save a miko from a kami,” Shiro observed. “What sort of lowly spirit are you really?”
“Inferior creatures such as yourself cannot rouse my wrath, no matter what foolish insults you spout.” Koyane lifted his hand. “Die, foul beast.”
Power leaped from his hand toward Shiro in a blast of electric light. The world spun all around her as Shiro sprang back. Landing nimbly, he hopped backward toward the doors while she hung limply in his arms.
“Kill him!” Koyane spat at his two vassals. “Save the girl for me.”
The two kami ran for Shiro as Koyane strode forward, hands lifting for another attack.
Yokai ki sizzled the air, and the room darkened. Shadows all around them came to life, rippling out of the corners like black fire in a strong wind. The kami hesitated.
A huge black shape swept over Shiro’s head. With a deafening cry, the giant raven dove for Koyane, its talons outstretched. The kami caught the raven’s feet with his hands, stopping the talons just before they would have torn into his chest. White light burst from his hands as black flames erupted off the raven’s feet. The two powers clashed in a burst of lightning.
Shiro sprang into the air as the floor shattered where he’d been standing. The nearest kami vassal drew a sword from the sheath at his hip, the blade glowing white.
The raven unleashed another harsh cry. Black wings unfurled from the rippling darkness as a flock of shadow-crows took form, their ghostly bodies marked by three glowing red eyes. They swarmed the two kami, spectral forms that still somehow ripped at the kami’s arms and faces.
Spinning, Shiro bolted for the door. He flew out into the courtyard and launched into his bounding run, the trees flashing by. His arms were iron bands around her, holding her tight. She wished she had the strength to tell him to loosen his grip. It was so hard to breathe.
Her awareness of time slipped away. She had no idea if it had been a minute or an hour when he stopped, panting for air. He laid her on the ground, fallen leaves crackling under her. Her body was heavy, limbs numb and immovable. His face appeared above hers, blurry and in shadows.
“Emi? Can you hear me?” The frantic note in his voice surprised her. “Emi, answer me.”
He touched her cheek. His hand felt like fire against her cold skin.
With a whoosh of air, shadows passed across her vision. The blur morphed into Yumei. He crouched on her other side.
“He stole her ki.” Shiro’s deep, growling rage would have made her shiver if she’d had the strength. “Why the hell would he do that?”
“Because kami crave power.” Yumei touched her throat, pressing his fingers against her pulse. “He took too much. Her life fades.”
Regret flickered through Emi. Ah, so she was dying? Beyond a certain point, there wasn’t enough ki left to sustain the body. Why had Koyane done this to her? What a foolish way to die. She should have waited for the solstice. Shiro had flippantly remarked that yokai ate humans to consume their ki, but she never would have imagined that a kami would even consider stealing ki, let alone draw it from a living human as if it were a delightful delicacy.
“She can’t die,” Shiro snarled.
“We will find another way to break the onenju’s curse.”
A moment of silence. “I’ve been searching for years already. She is my only hope.”
“If you wish for her to live,” Yumei replied flatly, “then replenish her ki yourself. Decide
now. The kami are coming.”
Her chest hurt and her pulse throbbed erratically in her ears. Her eyes had closed at some point. Time disappeared again, confusing her senses.
“Could you—” Shiro began.
“I will not. Do it yourself or let her die.”
Shiro hissed angrily. “I’ve never given ki to a human. How much—”
“Only a touch. Too much and your yokai ki will destroy hers. Go slowly. Mortals can handle far less than you would assume.” A terse pause. “They draw near.”
“Can you buy me time?”
Yumei grunted. Swift but quiet footsteps crunched over the leaves and faded away. Then Shiro’s arm slid under her, raising her shoulders off the ground and pulling her into his lap. A warm hand curled around the back of her neck, lifting her head.
“I won’t let you die,” Shiro whispered, his voice so close. “Forgive me.”
He tilted her face toward him, his soft exhalation heating her icy lips. He gently closed his mouth over hers, his touch delicate and yielding, so different from the kami’s. He didn’t steal her life away. Instead, he breathed life into her.
Warmth and power flowed in the wake of his breath. It was hot—too hot. Scalding ki swept through her. She went rigid with pain, gasping against his mouth. His hand on her neck held her in place and again he breathed his ki into her. The second rush was softer, hot but not quite so burning. It flowed through her, pouring into her numb limbs and warming them. The weight gradually lifted and the constricting pressure on her chest eased.
Life filled her again as the shadow of death that had come so close receded and vanished. She was alive.
His mouth was warm and soft against hers. She wasn’t quite sure how it happened, when it happened, but the touch of his lips changed from a seal to transfer power into something else—something that made a different heat rise through her, that melted her insides and sent her heart racing.
His lips moved softly over hers. Thought disappeared from her head as her blood rushed through her veins and longing lit inside her. She could do nothing but hang in his arms, lost in strange, wonderful feelings as he kissed her. Her hand crept up of its own accord and touched his hair. Hesitantly, afraid he would stop, she slipped her fingers into his hair and pulled his head down just a little.