Page 27 of Mr. Prohack


  IV

  When Mr. Prohack touched the handle of the door of the box, he felt asthough he were returning to civilisation; he felt less desolated by theimmediate past and by the prospect of the immediate future; he wasyearning for the society of mere women after his commerce with a star atthree hundred and fifty pounds a week. True, he badly wanted to examinehis soul and enquire into his philosophy of life, but he was prepared topostpone that inquest until the society of mere women had had abeneficial effect on him.

  Charlie, who had been paying a state visit to his mother and sister wasjust leaving the box and the curtain was just going up.

  "Hullo, dad!" said the youth, "you're the very man I was looking for,"and he drew his father out into the corridor. "You've got two of thefinest ballroom dancers I ever saw," he added to Ozzie.

  "Haven't we!" Ozzie concurred, with faint enthusiasm.

  "But the rest of the show ..." Charlie went on, ruthless. "Well, ifChown's shows were only equal to his showmanship...! Only they aren't!"

  Ozzie raised his eyebrows--a skilful gesture that at once defended hisemployer and agreed with Charles.

  "By the way, dad, I've got a house for you. I've told the mater about itand she's going to see it to-morrow morning."

  "A house!" Mr. Prohack exclaimed weakly, foreseeing new vistas of worry."I've got one. I can't live in two."

  "But this one's a _house_. You know about it, don't you, Morfey?"

  Ozzie gave a nod and a vague smile.

  "See here, dad! Come out here a minute."

  Ozzie discreetly entered the box and closed the door.

  "What is it?" asked Mr. Prohack.

  "It's this," Charlie replied, handing his parent a cheque. "I'vededucted what I paid for you to-night from what you lent me not longsince. I've calculated interest on the loan at ten per cent. You can getten practically anywhere in these days, worse luck."

  "But I don't want this, my boy," Mr. Prohack protested, holding thecheque as he might have held a lady's handkerchief retrieved from theground.

  "Well, I'm quite sure I don't," said Charlie, a little stiffly.

  There was a pause.

  "As you please," said Mr. Prohack, putting the cheque--interest andall--into his pocket.

  "Thanks," said Charlie. "Much obliged. You're a noble father, and Ishouldn't be a bit surprised if you've laid the foundation of myfortunes. But of course you never know--in my business."

  "What _is_ your business?" Mr. Prohack asked timidly, almostapologetically. He had made up his mind on the previous evening that hewould talk to Charlie as a father ought to talk to a son, that is tosay, like a cross-examining barrister and a moralist combined. He haddecided that it was more than his right--it was his duty to do so. Butnow the right, if not the duty, seemed less plain, and he rememberedwhat he had said to Eve concerning the right attitude of parents tochildren. And chiefly he remembered that Charlie was not in his debt.

  "I'm a buyer and seller. I buy for less than I sell for. That's how Ilive."

  "It appears to be profitable."

  "Yes. I made over ten thousand in Glasgow, buying an option on anengineering business--with your money--from people who wanted to get ridof it, and then selling what I hadn't paid for to people in London whowanted to get hold of an engineering business up there. Seems simpleenough, and the only reason everybody isn't doing it is that it isn't assimple as it seems. At least, it's simple, but there's a knack in it. Ifound out I'd got the knack through my little deals in motor-bikes andthings. As a matter of fact I didn't find out,--some one told me, and Ibegan to think.... But don't be alarmed if I go bust. I'm on to a muchbigger option now, in the City. Oh! Very much bigger. If it comes off... you'll see. Lady Massulam is keen on it, and she's something of ajudge.... Any remarks?"

  Mr. Prohack looked cautiously at the young man, his own creation, towhom, only the other day as it seemed, he had been in the habit ofgiving one pound per school-term for pocket-money. And he wasaffrighted--not by what he had created, but by the astoundingpossibilities of fatherhood, which suddenly presented itself to him as amost dangerous pursuit.

  "No remarks," said he, briefly. What remarks indeed could he offer?Wildly guessing at the truth about his son, in that conversation withEve on the previous evening, he had happened to guess right. And hissermon to Eve prevented now the issue of remarks.

  "Oh! Of course!" Charlie burst out. "You can't tell me anything I don'tknow already. I'm a pirate. I'm not producing. All the money I make hasto be earned by somebody else before I get hold of it. I'm not doingany good to my beautiful country. But I did try to find a useful job,didn't I? My beautiful country wouldn't have me. It only wanted me inthe trenches. Well, it's got to have me. I'll jolly well make it paynow. I'll squeeze every penny out of it. I'll teach it a lesson. And whynot? I shall only be shoving its own ideas down its throat. Supposing Ihadn't got this knack and I hadn't had _you_. I might have been wearingall my ribbons and playing a barrel organ in Oxford Street to-dayinstead of living at the Grand Babylon."

  "You're becoming quite eloquent in your old age," said Mr. Prohack,tremulously jocular while looking with alarm into his paternal heart.Was not he himself a pirate? Had not the hundred and fifty thousand thatwas coming to him had to be earned by somebody else? Money did not makeitself.

  "Well," retorted Charlie, with a grim smile. "There's one thing to besaid for me. When I _do_ talk, I talk."

  "And so at last you've begun to read?"

  "I'm not going to be the ordinary millionaire. No fear! Make your mindeasy on that point. Besides, reading isn't so bad after all."

  "And what about that house you were speaking of? You aren't going toplant any of your options on me."

  "We'll discuss that to-morrow. I must get back to my seat," said Charliefirmly, moving away. "So long."

  "I say," Mr. Prohack summoned him to return. "I'm rather curious aboutthe methods of you millionaires. Just when did you sign that cheque forme? You only lent me the money as we were leaving the hotel."

  "I made it out while I was talking to the mater and Sis in your box, ofcourse."

  "How simple are the acts of genius--after they're accomplished!"observed Mr. Prohack. "Naturally you signed it in the box."

  As he rejoined his family he yawned, surprising himself. He began tofeel a mysterious fatigue. The effect of the Turkish bath, withoutdoubt! The remainder of the evening stretched out in front of him,interminably tedious. The title of the play was misleading. He could notsmack his face. He wished to heaven he could.... And then, after theplay, the ball! Eliza might tell him to dance with her. She would bequite capable of such a deed. And by universal convention hersuggestions were the equivalent of demands. Nobody ever could or wouldrefuse to dance with Eliza.... There she was, all her four limbssuperbly displayed, sweetly smiling with her enormous mouth, just as ifthe relations between Blaggs and herself were those of Paul andVirginia. The excited audience, in the professional phrase, was "eating"her.