Page 32 of Mr. Prohack


  IV

  In regard to the effect of the sermon of Dr. Veiga on Mr. Prohack, itwas as if Mr. Prohack had been a desk with many drawers and one draweropen, and the sermon had been dropped into the drawer and the drawerslammed to and nonchalantly locked. The drawer being locked, Mr. Prohackturned to the weeping figure in front of him, which suddenly ceased toweep and became quite collected and normal.

  "Now, my child," said Mr. Prohack, "I have just been informed thateverything has a consequence. I've seen the consequence. What is thething?"

  He was rather annoyed by Mimi's tears, but in his dangerouscharacteristic desire to please, he could not keep kindness out of histone, and Mimi, reassured and comforted, began feebly to smile, and alsoMr. Prohack remarked that her mouth was acquiring firmness again.

  "I ought to tell you in explanation of anything of a personal naturethat I may have said to him in your presence, that the gentleman justgone is my medical adviser, and I have no secrets from him; in thatrespect he stands equal with you and above everybody else in the worldwithout exception. So you must excuse my freedom in directing hisattention to you."

  "It's I who ought to apologise," said Miss Warburton, positively. "Butthe fact is I hadn't the slightest idea that you weren't alone. I wasjust a little bit upset because I understand that you want to get rid ofme."

  "Ah!" murmured Mr. Prohaek, "who put that notion into your absurdhead?"

  He knew he was exercising his charm, but he could not help it.

  "Mr. Charles. He's just been down to my room and told me."

  "I hope you remembered what I said to you about your duty so far as heis concerned."

  "Of course, Mr. Prohack." She smiled anew; and her smile, so clever, soself-reliant, so enigmatic, a little disturbed Mr. Prohack.

  "What did my son say to you?"

  "He said that he was urgently in need of a thoroughly competentsecretary at once--confidential--and that he was sure I was the verywoman to suit him, and that he would give me double the salary I wasgetting."

  "Did you tell him how much you're getting?"

  "No."

  "Well, neither did I! And then?"

  "Then he told me all about his business, how big it was, and growingquickly, too, and how he was after a young woman who had tact andresource and could talk to any one from a bank director to a mechanic ora clergyman, and that tens of thousands of pounds might often depend onmy tact, and that you wouldn't mind my being transferred from you tohim."

  "And I suppose he asked you to go off with him immediately?"

  "No, at the beginning of next week."

  "And what did you say?" demanded Mr. Prohack, amazed and frightened atthe manoeuvres of his unscrupulous son.

  "Naturally I said that I couldn't possibly leave you--unless you told meto go, and that I owed everything to you. Then he asked me what I didfor you, and I said I was particularly busy at present making a scheduleof all your new purchases and checking the outfitters' accounts, and soon. That reminds me, I haven't been able to get the neckties right yet."

  "Good heavens!" exclaimed Mr. Prohack. "Not been able to get theneckties right! But this is very serious. The neckties are mostimportant. Most important!"

  "Oh!" said Mimi. "If necessary I shall run round to Bond Street in mylunch-hour."

  At this point the drawer in the desk started to unlock itself and openof its own accord, and Mr. Prohack's eye caught a glimpse of a page ofthe sermon.

  Mimi continued:

  "We mustn't forget there'll be hundreds of things to see to about thenew house."

  "Will there?"

  "Well, Mrs. Prohack told Machin, and Machin has just told me, that it'sall settled about taking the house. And I know what taking a house is.Mr. Carrel Quire was always taking new houses."

  "But perhaps you could keep an eye on the house even if you went over toMr. Charles?"

  "Then it's true," said Mimi. "You do want me to go." But she showed nosign of weeping afresh.

  "You must understand," Mr. Prohack said with much benevolence, "that myson is my son. Of course my clothes are also my clothes. But Charles isin a difficult position. He's at the beginning of his career, whereasI'm at the end of mine. He needs all the help he can get, and he canafford to pay more than I can. And even at the cost of having to checkmy own neckties I shouldn't like to stand in his way. That's how I lookat it. Mind you, I have certainly not told Charlie that I'll set youfree."

  "I quite see," said Mimi. "And naturally if you put it like that--"

  "You'll still be in the family."

  "I shall be very sorry to leave you, Mr. Prohack."

  "Doubtless. But you'll be even gladder to go over to Charles, thoughwith him you'll be more like a kettle tied to the tail of a mad dog thana confidential secretary."

  Mimi raised the tip of her nose.

  "Excuse me, Mr. Prohack, I shall _not_ be gladder to go over to Mr.Charles. Any girl will tell you that she prefers to work for a man ofyour age than for a boy. Boys are not interesting."

  "Yes," murmured Mr. Prohack. "A comfortable enough theory. And I'vealready heard it more than once from girls. But I've never seen anyconfirmation of it in practice. And I don't believe it. I'll tell yousomething about yourself you don't know. You're delighted to go over tomy son. And if I'd refused to let you go I should have had a martyrinstead of a secretary. You want adventure. You want a field for yourremarkable talent for conspiracy and chicane. You know by experiencethere's little scope for it here. But under my son your days will bebreathless.... No, no! I don't wish to hear anything. Run away and geton with your work. And you can telephone my decision to Charles. I'm nowgoing to get up and wear all my new neckties at once."

  Miss Warburton departed in a state of emotion.

  As, with all leisureliness, Mr. Prohack made himself beautiful tobehold, he reflected: "I'm very impulsive. I've simply thrown that girlinto the arms of that boy. Eve will have something to say about it.Still, there's one complication off my chest."

  Eve returned home as he was descending the stairs, and she blew himupstairs again and shut the door of the bedroom and pushed him into theprivacy of the boudoir.

  "It's all settled," said she. "I've signed the tenancy agreement for ayear. Charlie said I could, and it would save you trouble. It doesn'tmatter the cheque for the first half-year's rent being signed by you,only of course the house will be in my name. How handsome you are,darling!" And she kissed him and re-tied one of the new cravats. "Butthat's not what I wanted to tell you, darling." Her face grew grave. "Doyou know I'm rather troubled about Charlie--and your friend LadyMassulam. They're off again this morning."

  "My friend?"

  "Well, you know she adores you. It would be perfectly awfulif--if--well, you understand what I mean. I hear she really is a widow,so that--well, you understand what I mean! I'm convinced she's at leastthirty years older than Charlie. But you see she's French, and Frenchwomen are so clever.... You can never be sure with them."

  "Fluttering heart," said Mr. Prohack, suddenly inspired. "Don't getexcited. I've thought of all that already, and I've taken measures toguard against it. I'm going to give Charlie my secretary. She'll seethat Lady Massulam doesn't make any more headway, trust her!"

  "Arthur, how clever you are! Nobody but you would have thought of that.But isn't it a bit dangerous, too? You see--don't you?"

  Mr. Prohack shook his head.

  "I gather you've been reading the love-story in _The Daily Picture_,"said he. "In _The Daily Picture_ the typist always marries themillionaire. But outside _The Daily Picture_ I doubt whether theseromantic things really happen. There are sixty-five thousand girlstypists in the City alone, besides about a million in Whitehall. Theopportunities for espousing millionaires and ministers of state arecountless. But no girl-typist has been married at St. George's, HanoverSquare, since typewriters were invented."