I winked mischievously and Jack shook his head again
“Ok, I’ll come back soon”, he said, pushing himself up from the chair and slapping me in a gest of teasing reproach.
Chapter 52
When the door closed behind Jack I lay back, looking at the ceiling. The thoughts floated in my mind, a myriad of them, all somehow incomplete. The excitement preceding departures bubbled inside me, troubled by the anxiousness of the accident, by the feeling my mind was unbearably slow in retrieving information and remembering what I had to do, and by the fact that I was pinned in bed.
The nurse came by bringing a hot cup of tea. “This will do you good”, she said with a smile
I thanked her, and asked if she could bring me a paper and a pen. She said “sure”, after recommending again that I rest. It seemed to me she was treating me like an invalid, and a chill passed through my spine thinking about the brain-annihilating treatments they used in the past for those considered crazy. “I’m with you in Rockland…”, I recited in my mind and figured, a moment later, that it was a line from the Howl by Ginsberg. I began sipping the tea. The first sip was tasteless, the second one was bitter, with a metal after-taste. I grimaced and placed the cup on the side table.
The nurse came back with pen and paper, and I inclined the bed so that I was in a partially upright position. But when I could finally write down the ramble of my sparse thoughts to put some order in them I had the writer’s block, and my mind went blank. I closed my eyes, trying to recollect my ideas. The dream. I retrieved the details of one image and wrote them. I closed my eyes again, and I recalled some more. And after that the pen flew easily, taking possession of the paper’s blank emptiness. I was still writing when there was a knock on the door, and the nurse came in with a displeased hint hang on her face.
“You have a visitor”, she said, letting in Mariam Avery
“Our patient woke up this morning, I would ask you to be considerate”
“I just need few moments, thank you”, Detective Avery said with a tone that did not accept discussion
The nurse nodded, and shadowed away with seamless steps.
“Thank you for coming”, I said, genuinely relieved by the fact that I could check out some items off my to-do list before leaving the hospital.
I knew I had to drop by and talk to her before taking off, but given the circumstances I hardly had enough time to pack.
“How are you feeling?”, she asked
“Confused”
She nodded and sat beside my bed.
“Did you see who was in the car”
“Yes”, I said, and told her about the cleaning lady, and about my suspicion that she had been after me well before I noticed it, trying to access my computer. Detective Avery scribbled some notes on her pad, then looked at me shaking her head.
“Do you have a gut feeling about who sent her over?”
This hardly sounded like the question from a detective, and I looked at her with what she misinterpreted as a scared expression
“You are not judging anybody in court, I am just asking you for an opinion”
“Well, the people at the Cross cancer institute are acting quite odd”, I said, and filled her in with the details I thought she still didn’t know about
She nodded in a way that told me she knew already
“You spoke with Brad?”
She nodded again, “And with your other colleague”
“Alice”
“Yes”
“What about your boss”
“There was an inspection before our accident, and she was nervous, but just because she is a control-freak and hates interference. You sent the inspection, right?”
“I make my checks”, she replied coolly
“When you made your checks, did you find anything about Mike?”, I asked
“The same Mike who you said is somewhat involved in the polymer project?”, she asked, bugging her eyes just slightly
“Yes, him”, I said
“Why are you asking?”, she said, bugging her eyes a bit more
I told her what I heard from McMurrich
“And you think McMurrich was giving you a honest account of the facts?”, Avery asked
“Yes…yes”, I mumbled, considering for the first time that maybe McMurrich was making it all up
“I mean, she seemed genuinely worried…”, I continued
“Ok, I will look in this”
“Please, thank you. I need to know…personally. I cannot accept that Mike was manipulating us”, I said
Avery looked at me without replying, and there was a pause in the conversation.
“I am leaving for Italy on Friday”, I said abruptly, breaking the silence
Mariam Avery arched her brows, but before she could ask I gave her my account, with an abundance of technical details. I didn’t care if she was interested, I needed her to clarify my own ideas and kept talking to myself as much as I was talking to her. She let me speak, and the words were still pouring out when McMurrich walked in.
Her eyes fell on me first, and a second later on Detective Avery. Her face went pale and she took a step back, before recomposing herself and producing a forced smile.
“Hello Iris, knowing about the accident was such a shock”
“Thanks for coming”, I said, and Mariam Avery stood up, “Detective Avery”, she said, tending her hand
“Dr. McMurrich”, she replied, looking her fully confident self again
“It’s great you happened to come, I would care to have a word with you, if you don’t mind”, said Avery
“Unfortunately I have a full schedule this morning”
Mariam Avery nodded.
“Then come see me tomorrow morning at 9”, she said, pulling out a business card from her pocket and handing it to my boss
McMurrich was about to raise on objection, but then swallowed it down and said, “I will try to make time”
Then, turning to me, “I look forward to seeing you in the lab”
“Thank you…I have to leave to see my relative though. I will be leaving this Friday”
“This Friday”, she repeated
“Yes…”
“Get well and have a safe trip”, she replied curtly, heading towards the door
“Thank you”, I said
“See you tomorrow morning”, said Avery
McMurrich nodded, and let the door shut close behind her. Avery looked at the door for a moment.
“Your boss didn’t look too cool about seeing me”, she said
“I noticed”
“But you haven’t seen anything odd in her behaviour lately”
“There is always something odd in her behaviour, but if you are asking me if things got worse the answer is no”
Avery pondered my answer for a moment, then asked, “Did you lie about your reasons for leaving?”
“Of course, I had to, or else she would never allow me to go. I implied I am going to see a dying relative…”
“Why would she not let you go?”
The question sounded stupid to me.
“What do you mean?”, I asked
“Is she worried that you might discover something you shouldn’t discover?”
“I don’t think so. She is probably more worried about other people knowing what’s going on in the lab and maybe stealing the idea of a new products she find extremely promising. She wanted to sell the polymer…”
“Does she still want to?”
“I don’t know, many resources have gone into this research and…”
The nurse knocked and walked into the room, cutting my sentence in half
“Sorry to interrupt, but our patient needs to rest”, she said, repeating her usual innuendo
“Sure, we are done here”, Avery replied.
“If anything comes up contact me, and in any case we’ll talk when you get”, she added, addressing me
“I’ll tell you what I find, if I will find or remember any
thing”, I replied, and realized from the familiarity in my tone that I liked Avery. Odd how sometimes our gests and words reveal to us how we feel before we process our hidden perceptions, I thought.
She left me with a smile, while the nurse came around to my side table to get the cup of tea that had tuned cold.
“Do you want some more tea?”, she asked
I shook my head and closed my eyes, hoping she would go. When I heard the door click softly I knew she had, and I felt strangely happy. I let myself float, and finally I fell asleep again, the papers filled with my past dream still lying beside me.
Chapter 53
I awoke to the smell of food and voices in the hallway, with the light pouring in the room through the blinds. I remembered Jack had told me it was 10 am, and if this was lunch time I calculated that I had slept more or less a couple of hours. My biological clock was out of whack, and I wish they had one on the wall to guide me through the day. My face felt swollen from the long sleep and I felt unnerved to be stuck in bed, when I could probably get up and walk. I was looking at the tubing leaking intravenous liquid into my body and pondering when they would remove it, when the nurse came in with food on her cart.
“I have lunch for you”, she said
I looked at the soup and pureed fruit sitting on the cart, and thought by contrast at the slice we had at the Greaser. The greasy pizza slice seemed centuries away and the idea of getting on a plane to Italy in two days seemed equally remote. Perhaps it was. Would they let me get out of there?
I smiled, trying to act as civil as possible and to hide the distaste I had for this obtusely caring nurse.
“Thanks for bringing lunch”
“You’re very welcome”, she said in a plain professional tone
“I was wondering if I still need the intravenous fluid, since I am starting to eat…”
“As a matter of fact you don’t. I can remove it now if you wish”
“That would be sweet”, I said, and suddenly felt a rush of fear run through my stomach at the idea of the needle being fiddled around with to be removed.
I have a quite high tolerance to pain, but clinics have always made me nervous and hostile and anxious. A flash of the ambulance carrying me to the hospital as a kid ran through my memory. A nurse, taking a seat beside me and holding my hand. Her pitying eyes laid on me.
“Iris, you are a survivor. Your family did not make it, but you must”
My numbness, my eyes shut.
“Are you tired?”, the nurse asked, dragging me from the past
“No. Can you please remove the tubes?”, I asked, without opening my eyes.
“Sure, you might just feel a pinch when I take off the tape”
I nodded
The nurse was good at her job, and I just felt the tape stripped off my arm, just a pinch.
“When will I be able to leave?”
“You don’t have broken bones, your brain and organs have not been damaged in the impact. We’ll run a few more tests this afternoon, and if we don’t find any anomalies you can probably leave tomorrow morning. A doctor will pass by to talk with you later. But remember that even when you leave the clinic you will have to rest”
Of course, I thought, I will have to rest.
I nodded, and began lapping up the soup she had brought me. It was like thickened water, there was no taste to the low density, whitish liquid in my dish.
“Enjoy your lunch”, she said
“You bet”, I replied laughing, softly at first, then loud and heartily after the nurse had left the room, looking at me with faint surprise.
Chapter 54
After lunch the doctor came to see me, and guided me through the tests, handing me to different nurses and technicians who were luckily not as zealous as the nurse who had me in charge earlier. They gave me instructions, smiled, cracked a few jokes and kept me busy for the afternoon. When the round of tests was finished he accompanied back to my room. He had pushed me out of my room on a wheelchair, but I was walking around now, wrapped in a vest the hospital had given me. I was reluctant to admit it, but I felt weak and I longed for the bed in which I had been tossing and twitching during the morning.
I moved away the sheets and let myself drop on it as soon as I reached the room, enjoying the firm touch of the mattress but wishing I could be in the familiar smell of my own room at home. Where was Jack by the way?
“Everything looks good, you can leave as early as tomorrow morning”, the doctor said, interrupting my thoughts
“Thank you”, I replied, forcing myself to feel happy
I was about to ask the doctor if he knew about any visits while I was taking the tests when there was a knock on the door and my nurse stepped in announcing I had visitors.
“Hey!”, I exclaimed when I saw Jack and Brad timidly peaking in the room, side by side behind the nurse
“Hey Iris”, greeted me Brad, while Jack mimed a plane and pulled out a ticket, smiling in a childishly mischievous way that got me laughing loud
Brad looked at me surprised not understanding our coded conversation
“I’ll let you guys have fun”, said the doctor winking at us
I liked the guy, he conveyed friendliness in few words, with a frank expression and warm eyes
“I’ll pass by tomorrow before you leave”, he added standing at the door, lifting his hand in farewell.
“Jack will come with me to Italy”, I explained when the door clacked shut
“You must really love her to indulge her craziness”, Brad said, and Jack replied with a shrug, smiling
“How did you guys meet, by the way?”, I asked intrigued
“I heard Brad ask about you at the reception, and since I was coming here to see you I dragged him along”
“I came to see how you were doing but I also need to tell you want I saw today...things are taking a weirder turn every moment”, Brad said
“What happened?”
“I was driving Alice home earlier…”
“Alice is home now?”, I interrupted, relieved to hear the news
“Ehm-uhm”, Brad nodded
“But which car did you drive?”
“I am renting one for now”
“Ok, so what were you saying happened?”
“So yes, I was driving Alice home when I saw Sandeep walking in the street”
“And?”
“Well, it was the middle of the day, so I found it strange that he was around instead of being at work”
“Ok…”
“But the weird part is that your neighbour was walking in front of him”
“John?”, I asked surprised
“Well, I don’t know if that’s his name, but I am talking about the man who lives next door to you”
“And how do you know him?”
“I didn’t realize who he was at first. His face looked familiar, but I couldn’t quite remember where I had seen it. I wanted to understand where Sandeep was going though, so I turned the corner and re-entered the street, driving slowly so that I could follow him from a distance. I saw your neighbour enter a restaurant, followed by Sandeep, so I parked the car and waited outside. They came out half hour later, and it was then that I recalled the guy. I had seen him one day I day I drove you at home, he was out playing with his boy and the dog. The question is: what was he doing with Sandeep? And why were they trying to hide the fact that they were together?”
I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the sense of vertigo. I had suspected his wife had discovered he was having an affair, and had given him an ultimatum, either pack and change city or be responsible for the breakdown of a happy family life. But what if it was worse than that? Was he leaving because he had somehow a part in what was happening? And did Mariam Avery know?
“We should call Avery”, I said
“Alice and I stopped to talk with her already”
“And what was her reaction?”, asked Jack
“She pulled up on the computer a picture of the
guy …of John, and asked me to confirm he was the one we had seen. When we said he was she frowned, and asked us to have a second look at the picture. When we repeated we were sure the guy in the photo was the one we had seen she turned the screen towards her and looked at the picture herself, as if she might get some answers from it. She looked distressed for a moment, and then she let us go, angrily almost, telling us to call her if we saw anything that might be important”
I felt distressed and angry myself, and I was tempted to walk out of my bed now, knock on the Wheelers door and ask John to tell me what was happening.
“Do you think Sandeep is asking John for help?”, I wondered out loud
“But why John? How does Sandeep even know he is a detective? And why in private, instead of just going to the police station?”, said Jack
“Maybe he thinks he is followed and doesn’t want to be seen walking into the police station…”, I said hopefully, not wanting to believe John was corrupted
“I don’t know Iris, it didn’t seem to me like Sandeep was looking for help. He didn’t look scared, for one thing. Now that I think about it John seemed the anxious one between the two…”
“I don’t understand any of this”, I sighted
There was a knock on the door, and the nurse came in with another soup and a dish of unattractive boiled vegetables.
“I brought you dinner”, she told me, and then, to Jack and Brad, “The time for the visits is actually over…”
“I’ll come pick you up tomorrow morning”, Jack said
“And I’ll give you a call before you leave”, added Brad
“Thanks guys”, I said, not wanting to let them go and wishing I could fall quickly in a dreamless sleep till the next morning
But I had slept too much already and accumulated too much anxiousness for that to happen. So after eating my tasteless meal and washing myself I lay awake in bed, my feet and hand moist with perspiration, watching the end of the day consume itself into the night, and the night fade into the dawn. The sleep took me when the day was rising, nauseous and dizzy from tossing listlessly in the crumpled linens.
Chapter 55
“Iris…”
I heard Jack’s voice through a veil of sleep
“Iris, hey…”, I heard again, and felt his hand caressing my arm.
“Come here with me…”, I mumbled
“Hey, we have to go home”
I opened my eyes and saw the whiteness of the room. I was at the hospital and I needed to go home, pack, get ready for tomorrow.
“Jack…I forgot where I was”, I said, raising my eyes
“I figured you had”, he laughed, giving me a hand to help me up