made him feel complete.
That was why, a few months ago, he pulled out that little sparkly diamond, took Clarice on a picnic on a beautiful summer day and proposed that they spend their lives together. When she demanded a fall wedding, Tuck was okay with that. They still hadn’t discussed children and he still hadn’t changed on that front, but he figured that was a path they’d cross later.
If, deep in his heart, he had hoped that seeing his ring on Clarice’s finger would somehow still his physical response to Bay, then it remained his secret when the maneuver didn’t work. Even after all these months, as soon as he saw Bay, his body broke out in goose bumps and his tongue dried up in his mouth. It was driving him madly insane and somehow, someway, he had to make it stop.
The little she-devil didn’t do a damn thing to provoke him, either. Bay kept her distance from him, managing to always keep a large space between them. He’d watched her break through to charm the men at work. Hell, even Flossie would banter with Bay just like she did with him sometimes. He absolutely refused to believe that he was jealous, that this outsider had so quickly made friends around his town, his County.
She had become well liked and respected. She handled herself and the rowdiest of drunks with an ease he’d never found in another male police officer. The Mayor had praised her on several occasions now. Tuck should be proud. Right?
Grabbing a cup and filling it with piping, hot coffee, Tuck went out onto his back porch. The autumn morning had a bite to it but the brilliant colors of trees just starting to turn let him know that when he married Clarice at the little park in town, it would be beautiful. Scalding his tongue on the coffee, he fought hard to keep the tension from creeping back.
He was going to marry Clarice, the woman he loved, in two weeks. Then they were going on a honeymoon for a week. And when they came back, his reaction to Bay would end, or he’d make it end one way or another. Just because he had no idea how to make it go away was beside the point. But for now, it was time to get moving; he had a preacher to talk to.
When he pulled up in back of the church, Tuck found Clarice already there. She was standing beside her open car door with one hand on the door, the other held pressed tightly to her stomach. As soon as she saw his truck, though, she smiled brilliantly and closed the car door, moving around to greet him.
Wondering if she was having doubts, Tuck studied her face as he got out of the truck. Her smile didn’t hide the slight shadows under her eyes. Frowning, Tuck looked harder. Was her face a little thinner than usual? Pulling her close for a hug and kiss, he carefully felt along her ribs. Yes, she had lost weight. Why hadn’t he noticed this?
“You feeling okay?” He asked.
“Yes, I’m fine, why?” She looked confused.
“Just something around your eyes. Wedding jitters?” He smiled.
Her laugh bubbled across the parking lot of the church. “Only to get it done already.”
Tuck brushed it off as anxious bride nerves and taking her hand, they went in to talk to Rev. Boyle. Entering the back of the church, they walked towards a tiny office immediately to the left. Upon entering, Tuck caught the quick concerned glance the religious man gave to Clarice. When the preacher’s features remained smooth and friendly, he wondered if he’d imagined it and wondered if his own nerves were more rattled than he knew.
They exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes, went quickly over a couple of last minute changes and then Rev. Boyle leaned back in his chair and looked to Clarice. She squirmed in her chair. Tuck had never seen Clarice squirm in front of anyone before. Her hand sought his and gripped it tightly.
“How are you feeling Clarice?” Rev. Boyle asked gently.
Tuck felt something dark settle over the room. He turned to look at Clarice and found her eyes swimming in tears. A new kind of tension tightened his shoulders until he wondered if they’d break. While he stared at this woman he’d chosen to spend his life with, she refused to look at him.
“I’m fine Reverend. Just fine.” She whispered.
The older man sighed heavily. “Clarice.” He shook his head slowly, sadness entering his eyes.
Raising her chin in defiance, she announced, “I’m fine,” in a strong clear voice, the tears gone from her eyes.
Turning to the Reverend, Tuck said, “Tell me what she won’t.”
He heard Clarice’s small gasp and felt the jerk of her fingers that he held on tightly to. He refused to release her hand and dread filled him with a dark coldness. Rev. Boyle’s sad eyes turned to him. “I cannot. It is hers’ to tell. But I am here should either of you need me.” He stood and stepped around the desk. He laid a hand on Clarice’s shoulder and whispered a quick prayer before leaving the room.
Tuck sat still for a minute, his mind surprisingly calm and clear. He felt the tremors in Clarice’s fingers and wondered why they felt cold since he was holding them so tightly. Shifting, he turned to her. She sat straight and still, staring at the chair the Reverend had just left, her face a blank mask to him.
Scooting off his chair, he knelt at her feet. “Tell me.”
She shook her head, defiant once more.
Tuck simply lifted their joined hands and kissed her cold fingers. “Tell me.”
“I am fine, Tucker Adams. I’m fine.” Her voice was strong and clear but there was anger around the edges.
Raising his eyes, he looked into hers. He didn’t repeat his request, he just waited. Tuck didn’t know what was going on, all he knew was that once again, his life was about to change. He questioned his calmness since he knew that this change wasn’t going to be good.
Finally Clarice let out a huff of breath. “Doctor Martin thinks I need to see a cancer doctor in Fayetteville. I think he’s old and doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
Tuck closed his eyes. If someone had physically struck him with a hard blow to the chest, it wouldn’t have hurt as much as this did. Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and looked square into Clarice’s. “Then you’ll see the cancer doctor before the wedding or there will be no wedding.”
Clarice’s face drained of all color. “What?” She whispered.
Leaning close to her, nearly nose to nose Tuck quietly said, “I love you. You will not risk the health of the woman I love. You will do everything the doctor tells you to do. If you don’t see the doctor that Dr. Martin wants you to see then the wedding is on hold until you do.”
“But Tuck -,” Clarice started.
“I’ve let you run this show since you started chasing me Clarice Hogan. But this time, you will do as I say. Don’t push me.” His voice was firm and solid, surprising even himself. Taking her face gently in his hands, he kissed her with all the love in his heart. “Now, you’ll see the doctor, right?”
Clarice nodded, biting her lip to hold back the tears. “But what if...”
Tuck stood and pulled her to her feet. “Yes, what if. What if you wait and then it’s too late? What if you don’t find out for sure and then it’s too late? What if you go see him and it’s just as you say and Dr. Martin is a silly over protective fool? I want a future with you and if you deny me that future, I’m not going to be a happy man.”
“But...”
“But what if it’s already too late?” Tuck shrugged. “Then we take what we have, but we do it knowing exactly what’s going on.” He folded her in his arms and held her tight. The coldness inside him was growing and he tried desperately to find the warmth she always brought him.
They parted ways a few minutes later, Clarice going to Dr. Martin’s office and Tuck to work. He had paperwork to file as he wanted everything done before he left for a week. Keeping his mind carefully blank, keeping the cold void inside him as small as possible, he went the Sheriff’s office.
Finding Bay tapping away at her computer keyboard and a teenage boy cursing roundly from a jail cell was not what he wanted to find. Her normally neat pony tail was slightly askew and she had tendrils of hair dangling down to brush her neck. She was c
ompletely ignoring the verbal abuse coming from the young man.
“Shut up!” Tuck yelled at the teen. The kid simply turned his ire onto Tuck.
“Hey man. That bitch, she nearly broke my arm. She called me names. I want to press charges against her.”
“Shut. Up.” Tuck repeated, this time quietly and much darker.
Even from behind bars the kid got the message and flung himself onto the cot at the back of the cell. Bay glanced up but continued typing. She took a quick look at Tuck and just as quickly turned back to the computer screen.
Moving closer, Tuck could see a long red scratch along the side of her neck. He could also read the anger in the lines of her posture and was able to admire the way she held it in. The closer he got to her, the more the hairs on his arms stood on end. Silently cursing his reaction, but this time he also welcomed it too, as it was chasing away that raging cold inside him.
“Tell me.” He instantly regretted his choice of words as they reminded him of Clarice.
Bay finished the sentence she was typing before answering. “Shoplifter from Speedy’s. He wanted to run and then to fight. I