It would be a home.
Kari had been praying for Angela Manning every day since her father first mentioned her a month ago, and something unexpected had happened. God wasn’t only helping Angela; He was helping Kari understand grace and mercy like never before.
She parked her car, climbed out, and headed for the front door of the psychiatric facility. This was the fifth straight Tuesday she’d made the trek, and each time she came with less fear, less anxiety. She still wasn’t sure if her visits made a difference, since Angela was receiving inpatient counseling around the clock. But whenever Kari prayed about her visits, the answer seemed to be the same—there was a reason. However complicated and unclear.
God was walking with her through this strange counseling relationship, and Kari had been surprised many times. By the fact that she’d survived the first encounter praying with Angela, holding her hand, and managing to stay discreet about her identity as Tim’s wife. And also by the strides Angela made from week to week. Clearly Angela was wounded and drowning in guilt. The counseling seemed to be opening her up to the idea that there was still hope for her, that forgiveness was possible with Christ.
The woman at the front desk smiled. “Hello, Kari. Angela’s looking forward to your meeting. You can go on back.”
Kari thanked her and walked to the small room where she met with Angela.
After a minute, the door opened and Dr. Montgomery stepped inside. “I have good news.” The familiar calm marked his voice. “Angela is progressing very nicely. She’s agreed to stay until we think it’s safe for her to leave. Which may be sooner than we thought.” Gratitude warmed his eyes. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen a patient so fully embrace the message of the gospel. And I believe your visits are a big part of that.”
Kari wasn’t sure what to say. Dr. Montgomery was giving her exactly what she needed, a confirmation that her time with Angela was helping, even in some small way. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
“You’re a volunteer, caring for a stranger. That illustrates Christ’s love more than anything we can teach her in here.” He smiled. “Angela will be here in a minute or so.”
When the doctor was gone, Kari stared absently at the rich blue-striped wallpaper. There was one problem. Angela wasn’t a stranger. Maybe it was time for Kari to tell her about their shared connection to Tim. She was still considering the idea when Angela walked in. She was holding her Bible, the one Kari had given her.
“Hi.” Angela’s voice was still marked by shame but not as much as before. “Thanks for coming.” She took the seat opposite Kari. “I asked Dr. Montgomery to tell you how I’ve been doing. I’m . . . I don’t know. I’m learning things I never thought about before.” She folded her hands on her lap, and a new sense of peace emanated from her. “I can actually feel the love of God, if that makes sense.”
“It does.” Kari slid to the edge of her seat, reached out, and touched Angela’s shoulder. “I’ve been praying for you every day.”
“I don’t know why.” The hardness in her face and eyes was being replaced by a transparency that hadn’t been there before. “I mean, you don’t know me or anything. But I appreciate you, Kari. Really, I do.”
Kari had brought her Bible, and now she directed Angela to the back of the New Testament. “We’re going to read from the sixth chapter of Ephesians.” Kari helped her find the right spot, and they took turns reading out loud and then discussing the meaning in the verses.
“The armor of God . . .” Angela closed her Bible as they finished. “It’s like He knew we’d be in a battle here.”
For a moment, Kari was back in the house she’d shared with Tim, watching him walk out for a life with his mistress. A life with the woman sitting across from her. “Yes, battles are a real part of life.” She pointed out that according to Scripture, strength for the battle came only through Christ, and when the time came for Angela to go home, it would be crucial for her to connect with a church.
Angela thought for a minute. “Sometimes I’m so . . . ashamed, I guess. Because I wound up here.” She glanced down at her hands, and when she looked up again, her eyes were clouded with guilt. “I’m telling strangers things I’d blocked out of my mind for years.”
A twinge of anxiety hit Kari, and she had the urge to run. “It’s important to open up in counseling. I’m learning that I have to be honest about my past before I can let God direct my future.”
Their half hour was up, and Kari stood. Only then did she realize she was trembling. She went to shake Angela’s hand, but the woman stepped closer and hugged her instead. Not the sort of casual huglike greeting people pass out at church. But a desperate, clinging hug that said much about Angela’s need for a friend.
As she drew back, Angela’s eyes welled up. “I think I’m close. You know, to giving my life to Christ. I thought you should know.”
The admission filled Kari with a rush of joy and gratitude. After all, this was the reason she’d come—to share a Bible and the saving grace of God with this woman who had so harmed her.
“That’s the best news.” Kari smiled at her, and a knowing resonated deep within her. For Angela was no longer the other woman. She would soon be a person made brand-new by Jesus.
A few minutes later when she was back in her car, Kari finally exhaled. She couldn’t be a friend to Angela because she could never tell her the complete truth. They would meet one more week, and then Kari would encourage Angela to connect with a women’s ministry at one of the local churches. By then she’d be ready—at least it seemed that way. Kari would check with Dr. Montgomery next time just to be sure.
On the way home, Kari felt trapped in the past. Images of Tim on their wedding day and their first Christmas together and a dozen other days gone by flashed in her mind.
RJ and baby Annie were at her father’s house, and he’d told her to take her time. At the next light she turned right instead of left and drove just out of town to the cemetery.
It wasn’t often she came here, not by herself anyway. She and Brooke and Ashley would stop by on special days, their mom’s birthday and the anniversary of her death. But today Kari wanted to do something she hadn’t done in a long time. She parked her car and climbed out. The afternoon was warm and sunny, with none of the usual spring thunderheads hovering on the horizon. She took the narrow paved path that meandered onto the grounds, and then she veered off it through the manicured grass to where her mother was buried. She couldn’t come here without stopping by this spot first.
The stone was simple, with her mother’s name engraved at the bottom. Kari bent down and dusted off a few grass clippings that had settled on top. “Mom, you wouldn’t believe what happened today. . . .” Her voice was a whisper, filled with a sorrow that would always be there. She hesitated, then stopped at the grave of her niece Sarah.
Kari moved on another twenty yards until she reached the place where Tim was buried. Sometimes her life with Tim felt like it had happened to another person, as if she and Ryan had been together forever. But here, looking at Tim’s tombstone, the past was both vivid and real.
She brushed a residue of dirt off Tim’s stone. For a long time she stared at the marker, at her first husband’s name etched across it. As she did, the vividness of the past gradually faded, and Kari felt peace come over her. She lifted her face to the sky and closed her eyes. You are amazing, God. You see us through whatever battle comes along.
I have loved you with an everlasting love, My daughter. . . .
The gentle response blew lightly across Kari’s soul, and she set off for the car without looking back at the gravestone. God had a plan in all things, a way to survive the battle however fiercely it raged. Even on a day like this . . . when He reminded her of His great love for her.
Kari breathed in the sweet spring air, and the freshness of the feeling replaced the sadness of yesterday. She would see her commitment to Angela through, meeting with her one more time. Someday soon, Angela would commit her life to Chr
ist—Kari was confident. Then God would lead Angela to a church where she could truly begin this next chapter of her life. And sometime in the near future, thoughts of Angela would no longer bring her pain and heartache.
They would bring her closure.
In all Bailey’s days at Clear Creek High, she’d been to only a couple of dances with groups of friends, but tonight was her senior prom, and she was taking Tim. Bailey couldn’t stop thinking about all the times she’d imagined going with Tim to a dance like this one. She had circled May 17 on the calendar the first week of school, and now it was finally here.
Bailey looked in the mirror. Her floor-length dress was silky aqua green with thin shoulder straps and a gathering of material at the center, just above her waist. It was elegant, and her mom said it clung to her in all the right places without being formfitting. She tilted her head and studied her shoes. Whitney had loaned them to her, and they were perfect. Silver open-toed sandals with one-inch heels.
She stepped back from the mirror and glanced out the window. Like every day since they received the news, only one thing made today less than perfect. Cody was still missing.
Bailey passed her nightstand on the way to her bathroom and paused long enough to brush her fingers against Cody’s last letter. Please, God, You know where he is. She looked out her window again and tried to picture her friend captured in some Iraqi prison. He needs Your help. Give the guys looking for him the wisdom to know where to look. You’re his only hope.
She waited a moment, but there was no answer, no distinct Scripture or sense of knowing to reassure her that Cody would be okay. Bailey turned slowly from the window and sighed. As she did, she noticed her mom standing in the doorway to her room.
“Thinking about Cody?” Her mom’s tone was understanding.
“Yes.” Bailey touched her hair. The curlers were nearly cool, but she wasn’t in a hurry. Tim wouldn’t be here for another half hour. She met her mother’s eyes. “I wish they’d find him.”
“Me too.” Her mom stepped inside and sat on the edge of Bailey’s bed. A few seconds passed before she smiled. “You look beautiful. Absolutely breathtaking.”
“Really?” Bailey came closer. “The dress doesn’t make me look too big?”
A light bit of laughter came from her mom. “Honey, you couldn’t look big in a potato sack. The only thing more beautiful than you in that dress is the person God’s made you on the inside.”
“Aw, Mom . . . that’s sweet.” She leaned down and gave her mother a hug. “Thanks for knowing just what to say.” She straightened. “I can’t think about Cody tonight.”
“No. Tonight’s for you and Tim.”
“Connor says it isn’t fair prom’s only for juniors and seniors.” She giggled and walked the few steps into her bathroom. “He wanted to bring Rachel.”
“Yes, well, he’ll have to wait.”
“I have a feeling Rachel will still be around in a few years.” Bailey gave her mom a grin. “But me and Tim? I mean, who saw this coming?”
Her mom laughed. “I think you and Tim are the only ones who didn’t.”
“Yeah . . . maybe.” Bailey moved close to her bathroom counter and carefully undid one of the rollers. A section of her light brown hair tumbled down, the curl perfectly set. “Still . . . I don’t know what he’s really feeling. If he sees this as a fun night out or if he’s ready to be open about liking me.”
Her mom could still see her from the place where she sat on the edge of the mattress. “He might not know just how much, but he likes you. That much has always been true.”
“I don’t know.” Bailey undid another two curlers. “That’s sorta what he said in his letter, but I’m not sure. I hope you’re right.”
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s liked you for a long time, but for the last few years he’s been very careful.”
“That’s what he says. About the offstage drama at CKT.” Bailey glanced in the mirror at her mother. “I don’t know why he cares so much.”
“Because gossip could ruin the experience of CKT.” Her tone was more thoughtful. “He has a point.”
Bailey finished with the rollers and eased her fingertips up into her hairline so her hair hung in a curtain of curls. Then she used a handful of bobby pins to lift the crown off her forehead. When she was finished, she turned and stepped back into her bedroom. “What do you think?”
Her mom stared at her with admiration. She rose and took hold of Bailey’s hands. “You look like an angel.” She leaned in and kissed Bailey’s cheeks. “I’ve never seen you more beautiful.”
Her mom stayed as Bailey applied a bit of blush and eye makeup, and then they went downstairs, where her dad and the boys were having burgers. As Bailey drifted down the stairs and into the kitchen area, the action around the raised bar came to a standstill. Her dad stood and simply watched her, his mouth open.
“Come on, guys.” Bailey giggled as she did a slow pirouette. “Say something.” She faced them, her hands out to her sides. “Do you like it?”
“Wow.” Ricky set his burger down. “You look like a movie star or something.”
Justin studied her dress. “Sort of like a mermaid.”
“Yeah, a pretty one.” BJ grinned at her.
“Some people think mermaids really live off Grand Bahama Island.” Shawn’s eyes grew wide. “I read that in my shark book.”
Her dad still hadn’t said anything, but he made his way to her side. “For a moment there, I had a vision of the future.” He touched his hand to her elbow and looked deep into her eyes. “My little girl ready for me to walk her down the aisle.” He kissed her forehead. “You’re stunning, Bailey. All grown up.”
Of all the compliments she’d gotten in the last few minutes, this was the most tender. Her dad struggled with the fact that she was getting older. But here he seemed to have no choice but to admit that she was becoming a young woman, that someday soon she would leave home and find her way. Bailey looped her arms around his neck. “I’ll always be your little girl, Daddy.”
He smiled at her. “And you’ll always be my princess.”
There was a knock at the door, and Ricky let loose a low whistle. “Tim’s here!”
BJ grinned at his brothers. “Ooooh . . . Bailey’s going on a date!”
She rolled her eyes at them as she smoothed her dress. “Okay, guys. Enough.” She glanced at her mom. “How do I look?”
This time an excited urgency filled her mother’s eyes. “Perfect!” She pointed toward the front door. “You can’t leave him standing there.”
Bailey’s heart skipped a beat as she hurried toward the door, her delicate heels clicking on the tile floor as she went.
Halfway to the entryway she heard her father instructing the boys. “No funny business, okay? You don’t want to embarrass her.”
The boys laughed in response, but Bailey heard all of them agree that of course they knew better than to make the moment awkward for their sister.
She reached the door, slightly breathless, and stopped. Once more she adjusted her hair and her dress; then she took a breath and opened the door.
Since she’d known him, she’d seen Tim as larger than life, the guy who ruled the stage at CKT and praised God through his music with an undivided heart. But standing in front of her now, dressed in a black suit and tie, a boxed corsage in his hands, for the first time Tim looked nervous and uncertain.
“Hi.” She heard the shyness in her voice as she stepped back and made room for him.
He followed her inside, and his eyes filled with an awe she hadn’t seen there before. “Bailey, you look beautiful.”
“Thanks.” Heat flooded her cheeks, and she lowered her chin. As she looked up at him, she had the strangest feeling, as if this were the first time they’d really seen each other. “You look nice too.” She wasn’t sure whether to hug him or not, and after a few seconds the opportunity passed. “I have your boutonniere in the fridge.” She motioned for him to follow her
, and he did.
In the kitchen, the boys pretended to be busy with their burgers, but each of them said a quick hello to Tim and watched all that happened next.
After her parents greeted Tim, Bailey took the single white rose from its clear plastic bag and brought it to him. “I’m . . . I’m not really sure how to do this.”
“It goes on the right side.” Her mom swapped a look with her dad. “Isn’t that it?”
“I think so.” Her dad leaned against the stove, his arms crossed. He grinned at them. “Just be careful with the pin.”
After a few attempts, Bailey managed to gather enough of Tim’s suit jacket so she could thread the pin through without poking him.
Midway through her efforts, her mom took their picture, and she took another when the flower was finally neatly in place. “I talked to your mom.” She smiled at Tim. “I told her I’d take lots of pictures.”
“Good.” Bailey giggled and gave Tim a hesitant look. “Right?”
He laughed. “Sure. My mom’s the same way, so I’m used to it.”
They took pictures for the next ten minutes, while Tim gave her a pretty wrist corsage and as they posed on the foot of the stairs in the entryway and again in front of the living room fireplace. Finally it was time to leave, and Bailey’s parents walked them out to the front porch.
Laughter tickled Bailey’s throat as Tim opened the door for her. She spoke in a voice only he could hear. “I feel like Cinderella going to my first ball.”
He paused, searching her eyes. “Only so much more beautiful than Cinderella ever dreamed of being.” He held her gaze a few moments longer and then hurried around to the driver’s side. Once inside his car they waved good-bye to her parents and drove off.
This year’s prom was in one of the reception halls at Indiana University. A dinner was catered for the couples, and a local band provided music. Whereas other school dances held in the gymnasium tended to be marked by dirty dancing and dark lighting, the prom was different. Elegance was expected, and an instructor would be available to give couples lessons in several classic dances.