CHAPTER XXXVIII.

  THE CHAPLAIN AND CHAPEL IN A MAN-OF-WAR.

  The next day was Sunday; a fact set down in the almanac, spite ofmerchant seamen's maxim, that _there are no Sundays of soundings_.

  _No Sundays off soundings, _indeed! No Sundays on shipboard! You may aswell say there should be no Sundays in churches; for is not a shipmodeled after a church? has it not three spires--three steeples? yea,and on the gun-deck, a bell and a belfry? And does not that bellmerrily peal every Sunday morning, to summon the crew to devotions?

  At any rate, there were Sundays on board this particular frigate ofours, and a clergyman also. He was a slender, middle-aged man, of anamiable deportment and irreproachable conversation; but I must say,that his sermons were but ill calculated to benefit the crew. He haddrank at the mystic fountain of Plato; his head had been turned by theGermans; and this I will say, that White-Jacket himself saw him withColeridge's Biographia Literaria in his hand.

  Fancy, now, this transcendental divine standing behind a gun-carriageon the main-deck, and addressing five hundred salt-sea sinners upon thepsychological phenomena of the soul, and the ontological necessity ofevery sailor's saving it at all hazards. He enlarged upon the folliesof the ancient philosophers; learnedly alluded to the Phiedon of Plato;exposed the follies of Simplicius's Commentary on Aristotle's "DeCoelo," by arraying against that clever Pagan author the admired tractof Tertullian--_De Prascriptionibus Haereticorum_--and concluded by aSanscrit invocation. He was particularly hard upon the Gnostics andMarcionites of the second century of the Christian era; but he never,in the remotest manner, attacked the everyday vices of the nineteenthcentury, as eminently illustrated in our man-of-war world. Concerningdrunkenness, fighting, flogging, and oppression--things expressly orimpliedly prohibited by Christianity--he never said aught. But the mostmighty Commodore and Captain sat before him; and in general, if, in amonarchy, the state form the audience of the church, little evangelicalpiety will be preached. Hence, the harmless, non-committal abstrusitiesof our Chaplain were not to be wondered at. He was no Massillon, tothunder forth his ecclesiastical rhetoric, even when a Louis le Grandwas enthroned among his congregation. Nor did the chaplains whopreached on the quarter-deck of Lord Nelson ever allude to the guiltyFelix, nor to Delilah, nor practically reason of righteousness,temperance, and judgment to come, when that renowned Admiral sat, sword-belted, before them.

  During these Sunday discourses, the officers always sat in a circleround the Chaplain, and, with a business-like air, steadily preservedthe utmost propriety. In particular, our old Commodore himself made apoint of looking intensely edified; and not a sailor on board butbelieved that the Commodore, being the greatest man present, must alonecomprehend the mystic sentences that fell from our parson's lips.

  Of all the noble lords in the ward-room, this lord-spiritual, with theexception of the Purser, was in the highest favour with the Commodore,who frequently conversed with him in a close and confidential manner.Nor, upon reflection, was this to be marvelled at, seeing howefficacious, in all despotic governments, it is for the throne andaltar to go hand-in-hand.

  The accommodations of our chapel were very poor. We had nothing to siton but the great gun-rammers and capstan-bars, placed horizontally uponshot-boxes. These seats were exceedingly uncomfortable, wearing out ourtrowsers and our tempers, and, no doubt, impeded the con-version ofmany valuable souls.

  To say the truth, men-of-war's-men, in general, make but poor auditorsupon these occasions, and adopt every possible means to elude them.Often the boatswain's-mates were obliged to drive the men to service,violently swearing upon these occasions, as upon every other.

  "Go to prayers, d----n you! To prayers, you rascals--to prayers!" Inthis clerical invitation Captain Claret would frequently unite.

  At this Jack Chase would sometimes make merry. "Come, boys, don't hangback," he would say; "come, let us go hear the parson talk about hisLord High Admiral Plato, and Commodore Socrates."

  But, in one instance, grave exception was taken to this summons. Aremarkably serious, but bigoted seaman, a sheet-anchor-man--whoseprivate devotions may hereafter be alluded to--once touched his hat tothe Captain, and respectfully said, "Sir, I am a Baptist; the chaplainis an Episcopalian; his form of worship is not mine; I do not believewith him, and it is against my conscience to be under his ministry. MayI be allowed, sir, _not_ to attend service on the half-deck?"

  "You will be allowed, sir!" said the Captain, haughtily, "to obey thelaws of the ship. If you absent yourself from prayers on Sundaymornings, you know the penalty."

  According to the Articles of War, the Captain was perfectly right; butif any law requiring an American to attend divine service against hiswill be a law respecting the establishment of religion, then theArticles of War are, in this one particular, opposed to the AmericanConstitution, which expressly says, "Congress shall make no lawrespecting the establishment of religion, or the free exercisethereof." But this is only one of several things in which the Articlesof War are repugnant to that instrument. They will be glanced at inanother part of the narrative.

  The motive which prompts the introduction of chaplains into the Navycannot but be warmly responded to by every Christian. But it does notfollow, that because chaplains are to be found in men-of-war, that,under the present system, they achieve much good, or that, under anyother, they ever will.

  How can it be expected that the religion of peace should flourish in anoaken castle of war? How can it be expected that the clergyman, whosepulpit is a forty-two-pounder, should convert sinners to a faith thatenjoins them to turn the right cheek when the left is smitten? How isit to be expected that when, according to the XLII. of the Articles ofWar, as they now stand unrepealed on the Statute-book, "a bounty shallbe paid" (to the officers and crew) "by the United States government of$20 for each person on board any ship of an enemy which shall be sunkor destroyed by any United States ship;" and when, by a subsequentsection (vii.), it is provided, among other apportionings, that thechaplain shall receive "two twentieths" of this price paid for sinkingand destroying ships full of human beings? I How is it to be expectedthat a clergyman, thus provided for, should prove efficacious inenlarging upon the criminality of Judas, who, for thirty pieces ofsilver, betrayed his Master?

  Although, by the regulations of the Navy, each seaman's mess on boardthe Neversink was furnished with a Bible, these Bibles were seldom ornever to be seen, except on Sunday mornings, when usage demands thatthey shall be exhibited by the cooks of the messes, when themaster-at-arms goes his rounds on the berth-deck. At such times, theyusually surmounted a highly-polished tin-pot placed on the lid of thechest.

  Yet, for all this, the Christianity of men-of-war's men, and theirdisposition to contribute to pious enterprises, are often relied upon.Several times subscription papers were circulated among the crew of theNeversink, while in harbour, under the direct patronage of theChaplain. One was for the purpose of building a seaman's chapel inChina; another to pay the salary of a tract-distributor in Greece; athird to raise a fund for the benefit of an African ColonizationSociety.

  Where the Captain himself is a moral man, he makes a far betterchaplain for his crew than any clergyman can be. This is sometimesillustrated in the case of sloops of war and armed brigs, which are notallowed a regular chaplain. I have known one crew, who were warmlyattached to a naval commander worthy of their love, who have musteredeven with alacrity to the call to prayer; and when their Captain wouldread the Church of England service to them, would present acongregation not to be surpassed for earnestness and devotion by anyScottish Kirk. It seemed like family devotions, where the head of thehouse is foremost in confessing himself before his Maker. But our ownhearts are our best prayer-rooms, and the chaplains who can most helpus are ourselves.