Aladdin rolled it up and sealed it with an unfamiliar seal. “I shall be back in a moment. A servant will deliver this letter to the courier. He’ll leave with it tonight.”
Aladdin hurried out and came back only a minute later and resumed his place beside her. Meanwhile, with her stomach so full, she had become rather drowsy.
She leaned into him, and he put his arm around her. They had always been friends, but they’d never allowed themselves to touch each other much. But now . . . it felt natural to lean on him, letting him place his hand on her upper arm and pull her closer while she rested her head on his shoulder. How good it felt to be with someone she trusted. After all the terror, pain, and abuse she’d been through the past year, she just wanted to be with her friend.
“Do you remember the time when we were little,” Kirstyn said, “and we were playing blindman’s buff behind the orphanage? It was the first time I ever saw you, and one of my earliest memories.”
“I remember.”
“A boy grabbed my arm, and you grabbed him.”
“I thought he was about to hurt you.”
“You were determined to protect me, even though that boy was much bigger than you were.”
Aladdin gently squeezed her shoulder.
“I used to dwell on that and all the other memories I have of you.”
“Do you remember when you saw that poisonous snake I was about to step on and screamed at me? You probably saved my life.”
“I like to think so.” Kirstyn almost laughed. “Do you remember the time you picked me up and held my feet on your shoulders so I could look into that squirrel’s nest?”
“That squirrel almost bit your nose.” A smile lightened his tone.
“I fell and you caught me. You were always there to protect me.”
“I only wish . . .”
“What?”
“That I could have protected you when it counted most, when those kidnappers came.”
Her stomach clenched. I wish it too. So very much. “It’s all right. He had Anna, so he did not molest me, and he beat her more than he did me.”
“It is so strange to me that Anna would stay with such a man.”
“Yes. I hated her sometimes, knowing she could have set me free but chose instead to do Michael’s bidding. But part of me pities her. She thinks what Michael feels for her is love and if she loses him, no one else will ever love her.”
“I’m so glad you’re safe from them. How overjoyed I was to see you alive.” He rested his cheek on top of her head for a moment.
She also felt moments of joy, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that all was not well. Perhaps it was only the strange way Grethel had reacted to her. But Herr Kaufmann had also reacted a bit strangely to her presence. Her body relaxed in Aladdin’s embrace, but after her long ordeal . . . safety still seemed just out of her grasp.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Aladdin felt warm to his fingertips at Kirstyn sleeping against his shoulder. He’d dreamed of moments such as this.
Unfortunately, at least two people in the house would not feel the same. If either Grethel or Herr Kaufmann were to walk by and see them . . . He prayed they would not.
Aladdin didn’t move, not wanting to wake Kirstyn, and let his mind wander.
He had hardly been able to eat, could hardly take his eyes off Kirstyn. It had been so long since he’d seen her, he just wanted to drink her in with his eyes. She was even more beautiful than he remembered, even though she was obviously weakened by her ordeal. And though he had told the truth when he said he was overjoyed to have her alive and well, some things kept surfacing to mar his joy.
He had to tell Grethel he couldn’t marry her. Dear God, don’t let her and Herr Kaufmann hate me for that. He felt a stab of pain at the thought of disappointing and hurting them. But, of course, he couldn’t marry her. His feelings for Kirstyn were overwhelming, eclipsing anything he might feel for Grethel. It wouldn’t be fair to marry her.
Would he also have to tell Kirstyn that he had agreed to marry Grethel? He felt sick just thinking about it. He also hoped she never found out that he had stopped searching for her, as her father had. She had called him her dearest friend. And though she knew he wasn’t actually perfect, it still filled an empty place inside his heart to hear her say it.
If only Grethel would stay silent, Kirstyn need never know he’d agreed to marry a woman he didn’t love.
It was wrong of him, cowardly to think like that. He nearly groaned aloud. He should be completely honest with Kirstyn. And Grethel. Tonight, with Kirstyn exhausted and still getting used to being safe, was not the right time.
Another thought tempered his joy—Kirstyn’s scars. Those scars on her wrist would fade with time, but what kind of scars would she carry in her thoughts and her heart? She was obviously eager to get home to her mother and father, but in the meantime, would she allow him to comfort her? Would she let him love her? Marry her?
He mustn’t get ahead of himself. It was too soon to talk about marriage. She probably didn’t think of him that way. He was the Saracen orphan boy she had adopted, just like those ten orphans she wanted to adopt someday.
His stomach sank yet again at the thought of having to disengage himself from Grethel. But neither did he want to marry someone else when he was in love with Kirstyn. If he was honest with himself, he always had been in love with her. Making his fortune would not be enough to secure his happiness. Being “adopted” by Herr Kaufmann, saving Abu from the streets—none of that was enough. They were his family. But he wanted Kirstyn to be the most important part of that family.
The terrifying thing about wanting her was . . . she might reject him. And he might lose Herr Kaufmann too.
Kirstyn made a sound in her sleep and lolled her head on his shoulder. She opened her eyes. “Aladdin? Where am I?”
“You’re in Herr Kaufmann’s home.”
“Is it nighttime? Or morning?”
“Nighttime. Come. I will help you to your room. Can you walk?”
“Yes, of course.” She drew in a deep breath as she stood.
Aladdin guided her out from the bench and kept his arm around her as they made their way to the staircase. They ascended the steps slowly. Her hand rested against his chest as she snuggled her head against his shoulder. So trusting. His heart filled, swelling almost painfully.
“Aladdin?”
“Yes?”
“I’m glad you were here to help me.”
“I’m glad too.”
They stopped in front of the door of the room Hilde had prepared for her.
“I’ll send Hilde up to help you get ready for bed. She can get you anything you need.”
“Thank you, Aladdin.” She gazed into his eyes as she opened the door.
“Of course.” He turned and hurried down the steps. He found Hilde, then he went in his room and pressed a hand to his forehead.
The right thing to do would be to go now in search of Herr Kaufmann and Grethel to beg their forgiveness. But didn’t they know already? Both of them had guessed that he loved Kirstyn. Wouldn’t they know that he simply couldn’t marry Grethel now that Kirstyn had been found? She shouldn’t even want to marry him. There was no need for him to go and tell her what she must already assume. Besides, they’d probably already gone to bed.
No, there was no need to tell them now.
Aladdin awoke while it was still dark outside. As he lay there, he became aware of a sound. He strained to hear, suddenly realizing it was coming from the room next to him. Kirstyn!
He leapt out of bed, tangling his legs in his covers. He fell to the floor on his knees, then sprang up and hurried to pull on some hose and a long, loose shirt. He went out and stopped outside her door. Nothing. Should he knock? It wasn’t proper to go into her room while she slept, and now he wasn’t even sure he’d heard anything. Perhaps he’d imagined it. He’d lain awake for hours, thinking about how he would tell Grethel he couldn’t marry her and also thinking about Kirst
yn.
He didn’t wish to wake her. He stood listening, waiting. He finally sank to the floor, his back against her door. If he heard the sound again, he would knock.
Kirstyn was running from Michael. She could see the church just ahead. Her legs were so heavy. She forced them to move, but it was as if she were trying to run through a lake of thick, sticky honey. She pushed herself harder. Every time she glanced behind her, Michael was closer.
She reached the door of the church. It opened and she entered.
A priest stood in front of her. His face was hidden till he turned and looked at her. Michael. He smiled and leapt toward her, grabbing her arm.
Kirstyn tried to scream but no sound came.
She awoke and sat up, gasping, and let out a sob. She lay back down and covered her mouth. “It was only a dream,” she whispered. “I’m safe here in this house. Aladdin is nearby.” In the darkness, the only thing she could make out was the outline of a window.
She tried to calm her breathing. How would she get back to sleep now? She forced her mind to think thankful thoughts. God, thank You for saving me from Michael. Thank You that Aladdin is here with me. Thank You, God, that I will see Mother and Father very soon, and that Aladdin sent them that letter so they will know I’m alive and not be sad. Thank You for Aladdin.
She felt herself begin to drift off to sleep again.
It was morning. The sun was shining outside as Kirstyn entered the dining room. Aladdin and Grethel were standing there, their heads together. They looked up, their eyes focusing on Kirstyn. Aladdin looked sad, but Grethel smirked. She pulled Aladdin into her arms.
“Aladdin is marrying me,” she said.
Aladdin frowned, shrugged his shoulders, and turned away from Kirstyn.
Grethel pointed to the door. “You have to go. Nobody wants you here.”
Aladdin would not even look at her.
Kirstyn turned around to find Herr Kaufmann with a sullen expression. He also pointed at the door, mimicking his daughter.
Kirstyn stumbled toward it, blinded by her tears.
She was pushing herself up on her hands in bed as she blinked awake.
How could Aladdin do that to her? O God, does he love Grethel?
Grethel was very pretty. And the way she had looked at Kirstyn . . . She must be in love with Aladdin. How could she not be? He was handsome and kind and good and living in her house.
She lay back down on the bed. “It was only a dream,” she whispered. But it had seemed so real. When she closed her eyes, she was back in that room with Aladdin shrugging and turning away from her, while Grethel smirked and ordered her to leave. A physical pain shot through her chest.
Aladdin had never said he loved her. She’d always imagined he did, had believed she was the most important person in his life. He was the orphan boy who sacrificed himself and let the bear maul him to protect her. He was her friend who went on walks with her in the woods, who did whatever she wanted—until the day he left her to go make his fortune.
What if she was never able to overcome her trembling fear every time she saw a stranger? What if she couldn’t stop the weepiness? What if she had nightmares about Michael every night? How could she go through life, get married, and adopt orphans the way she’d always dreamed of if she was scarred and fearful and damaged?
Aladdin awoke in front of Kirstyn’s door when he heard the servants downstairs. He went to his own room and got dressed for the day.
On his way down he passed Grethel’s door, feeling even less inclined to speak to her about breaking their marriage agreement than he had the night before. She probably was not dressed yet anyway. He continued down the stairs.
Herr Kaufmann was sitting in his cushioned armchair in the solar. “Aladdin, my son. Did you sleep well?” He greeted him the same way nearly every morning, but this morning he did not seem as cheerful. Would their relationship change now?
Herr Kaufmann sighed. “I can guess what you are thinking. You no longer wish to marry my daughter.”
“Well . . . yes. I am still in love with Kirstyn. I never wanted to hurt Grethel. I hope you understand. It is so painful to me—”
“As it is to me.” Herr Kaufmann’s tone and expression were the closest to anger directed at Aladdin he had ever experienced from his mentor. “If you had been lawfully betrothed in the Church, I would not so quickly accept your excuse of loving someone else.”
Aladdin’s heart raced. Would Herr Kaufmann be unwilling to forgive him?
“But I don’t think Grethel will want to marry a man who’s in love with another woman.” Herr Kaufmann folded his arms across his chest, letting them rest on his belly as he stared at the wall.
“I hope you both will be able to forgive me in time. I’m so sorry.”
“Yes, yes.” Herr Kaufmann waved his hand in the air. “A heart is a fickle thing with a mind of its own.”
Fickle? Aladdin had never really loved Grethel. He’d only agreed to marry her because . . . well, he wanted to please his mentor. And it was an attempt to stop his pain over Kirstyn’s apparent death.
Herr Kaufmann’s chin quivered, then locked in place. “Did you know that Cedric has admitted to seizing and carrying away Lady Kirstyn? He says he had a good reason that he will only reveal when the town council questions him publicly. Can you imagine? He expects us to believe that he could have an excuse for carrying off a woman and holding her against her will.” He pressed his lips together and rubbed his forehead.
Aladdin placed a hand on his shoulder. Herr Kaufmann heaved a sigh and mumbled, “I should not be surprised at anything he would say or do. But to know that this was my son . . . It is a heavy, heavy blow.”
Aladdin’s heart ached at seeing Herr Kaufmann’s grief. And it was even harder knowing his mentor might not welcome his comfort at the moment. Aladdin sat with him anyway, listening when he spoke and offering what sympathy he could, until the morning meal was ready.
Aladdin and Herr Kaufmann were joined at the table by Grethel and, just behind her, Kirstyn.
If possible Kirstyn was even lovelier than the night before. She smiled tentatively at him and his heart soared. But one glance at Grethel, the way her gaze was fastened on him—accusing, hurt, angry—brought his heart crashing back down again.
The mood at the table was somber, but it was sinking into his mind that Kirstyn was truly alive and whole—resurrected, as it were, from the dead. It was not a dream; he couldn’t help feeling the joy of it.
“Where is Abu?” Aladdin asked.
“He had his breakfast early and is with his tutor.” Herr Kaufmann’s voice was slow and shaky, and he did not look Aladdin in the eye. “Perhaps I should send the lad away. Apparently I’m not very good at raising boys into decent, God-fearing men.”
Both Grethel and Kirstyn stopped eating and stared at Herr Kaufmann. Aladdin sent up a wordless prayer and said, “You cannot take the blame on yourself. Each man is responsible for his own actions. Abu is a good boy, only playful.”
“That is true, Papa.” Grethel reached out and placed a hand on Herr Kaufmann’s arm. “Michael’s wickedness is not your fault. You did your best.”
“Humph. Who is there to blame if not me? I am his father.”
“Blame the devil, who tempted him to do wrong,” Aladdin said. “Perhaps now Michael will repent.” It would soon be too late.
Rather than looking mollified, Herr Kaufmann banged his fist on the table, then leaned forward, covering his face with his hands. A few moments later he arose and walked out of the room without a word.
Grethel sat unmoving, her gaze focused on the table. Kirstyn sent a questioning look at Aladdin, who gave her a slight shake of his head.
“Excuse me.” Grethel stood and left the room without looking at either of them.
“What was that about?” Kirstyn asked.
“As strange as it sounds, Michael, the man who kidnapped you, is Herr Kaufmann’s son.”
“Oh.” She pressed a hand to her hear
t. “How very . . . terrible.”
“Yes.”
“Well . . . what happens next?”
“We should receive word from the town council soon, summoning you to give your testimony. Then Michael will have to defend himself. Most likely he will be hanged, but since your father is the Duke of Hagenheim, they may want to hear from him before they carry out his punishment. They may even allow him to take Michael back to Hagenheim to carry out his own judgment and sentence.”
“You will go with me to the town council meeting, won’t you?”
“I will be there with you.” His heart pounded with how much he wanted to show her he would stand by her and support her.
“Well, since we will have to wait until I am summoned, perhaps you could show me around Lüneburg today. I want to see the place where you’ve been living and working for the past year and a half.”
“I would be more than pleased to show you my new town.”
Kirstyn hated how needy she had sounded as she said, “You will go with me to the town council meeting, won’t you?” But when Aladdin looked so concerned and came around the table and held out his arm to her, she took a deep breath. It’s all right to ask for Aladdin’s help. He cares about me.
“Today is market day,” Aladdin said. “I shall buy you a warm cloak and shoes so you won’t have to borrow Grethel’s.”
Kirstyn glanced down at the dress. Truly, it was beautiful, but Kirstyn felt strange wearing it given Grethel’s previous coldness.
Her chest ached. Aladdin, do you love Grethel and not me? She was very pretty. Perhaps he had fallen in love with her, living in her father’s house, seeing her day after day. Perhaps now that Kirstyn was so thin and damaged and needy, he would not want her.
“I hope she doesn’t mind that I’m wearing her things.”
“I don’t think she minds.” But Aladdin’s smile faltered.
They were soon out on the street, and Aladdin was pointing out different buildings. “This is St. Nikolai’s Church, where we attend on Sundays. But later I shall show you the older St. John’s Church.”