I hear the loud pop of the gun when it goes off. Even though I have plugs in it’s still crazy noisy. The smell of sulphur hits my nose straight away. I watch as a bottle shatters to pieces. Then he shifts the gun to his right, marginally. Pop. Another bottle shatters. He takes three bottles down in a few seconds.
“Impressive,” I nod.
“I had a great teacher and it took a lot of years of practise,” he replies modestly. “I don’t have years to teach you, so it’s a crash course in weapons training. You just need to hit one target at a time. The only problem we’ve got,” he says walking over to put some bottles he just picked up out of the bag beside the table and replacing the ones he just smashed, “Is you’re going to be aiming for a moving target.”
He starts walking back to me. “And I don’t have a moving target. Not unless you use me of course.” He smirks.
“I’ll pass. Thanks.”
Coming up to stand behind me, he says, “Your turn.”
Nerves start to tremor under my skin. He reaches over and takes the safety off.
“You’ll be fine. Trust me.”
“I do trust you. I don’t trust myself. You joke about letting me shoot you, knowing me, it might just be a possibility.”
“Have a little more faith in yourself.” He chuckles deep and low. “But I’ll stay back here just to be on the safe side.”
I glance at him over my shoulder. “You think you’re safe back there? You really don’t know me at all.”
He smiles and it lights up his whole face. My stomach does a little flip.
“Eyes forward Bunny, sooner we get started the more confident you’ll feel with that gun in your hands.”
“Okay, well don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Eyes facing ahead, I take a deep breath, holding the gun with both hands, I lift it up to chest level.
“Okay.” His breath blows over the skin on my neck. It’s distracting. He’s not touching me, but he's close enough for me to feel his heat. “Cup your left hand under the gun; it’ll give you something to rest against, help keep it steady and level. Yeah that’s right,” he adds as I move my left hand to position.
“Next rest your index finger ever so lightly against the trigger … good… now slide your eyes down the barrel of the gun to your target, does it meet with it?”
I shake my head.
“Adjust it until it does.”
Keeping my eyes in line, I shift the gun ever so slightly higher.
“You there?” he asks in a murmur.
“Yes”
“Okay, so when you’re ready, squeeze the trigger.”
I focus my attention in on the bottle I picked. Taking a couple of deep breaths, I ready myself and squeeze the trigger in.
The jolt of the gun in my hand is more forceful than I was expecting, it pushes me back a bit and I bump into Zeff. His hands go to my waist steadying me.
The bullet whizzes straight past the bottle and smashes into the trunk of a tree.
I turn, giving Zeff a ‘that was crap’ look.
“Hey, you hit something. That’s good for your first time. Let’s just keep at it ‘til you’re hitting the bottles.”
Then I’m acutely aware that his hands are still on my waist. I glance down, then back up at his face. Seemingly, coming to, he moves his hands away.
My skin feels instantly cold where his touch was. I hate that I like the way his hands feel.
Taking a deep breath, slamming my focus on another bottle, I line the gun up. “I’m really sorry to all of you trees if I shoot you again.”
Zeff chuckles. “You’re apologising to the trees?”
“They’re living things.”
“You’re odd.”
I bump his leg with my hip. “Yeah, well, it takes one to know one.”
Then I lift the gun a little higher, aim and … fire.
Hit another tree.
“Sorry!” I shout.
Another chuckle from Zeff.
“Concentrate,” he whispers in my ear.
“I’m trying.”
“Try harder.” He’s too close to me, it’s distracting.
Okay, focus. Eyes on the target. Squeeze the trigger …
Miss.
“Arrgggh!” I cry.
I can’t hit one measly bottle. Plenty of trees, not bottles. He made it look so easy. I start to fire the gun in anger, trying to hit one bottle.
I miss every one.
Zeff says nothing from behind me. Frustrated, I walk away and slam the gun down on the table.
“I can’t do this! I don’t even know why I’m bothering.” I feel really angry, and I’m not exactly sure why.
“To keep your ass safe.” Zeff is at my side. “You’ve only just started, you need to give yourself more time to get it right.”
I round on him. “Yeah, and like I’d be able to stop one of the Originals anyway if he got within spitting distance of me! They’re stronger than me, and they’re immortal for fuck's safe!”
He grabs hold of my shoulders, firm fingers digging into my skin. “And so are vampires, but I’ve killed plenty of them.” Zeff stares at me seriously. “If it bleeds you can kill it, Bunny, remember that.”
I stare back into his dark pooling eyes, watching the adrenaline in them settle and turn into something else entirely. Every part of my body starts to prickle with the sensation. And my anger switches into something else too. The same as his.
Lust.
Nathan.
I step back freeing myself from him. His hands drop to his sides. He folds them over his chest, almost as if he’s looking for something to do with them.
“Okay. Sorry. You’re right. Let’s carry on.” I turn away from him, picking the gun back up with trembling fingers.
“Don’t be sorry, Bunny.” His deep soft voice runs over my skin in delicious waves. “If you just let go of your fear and anger, the rest will all just fall into place.”
Yeah. And that’s what I’m worried about. Fear and anger are the only things keeping my hands on this gun right now, and not on you.
Chapter 14: She Wolf
The afternoon is rolling to early evening. I’m sat beside Zeff, resting back on my hands. Zeff is laid flat on his back basking in the sun that’s just making its final appearance for the day.
We have been at weapons training all day, stopping for a short lunch. Zeff made us sandwiches and had kindly thought to have some blood ready for me.
Sweet. In a weird kind of way.
We sat out on the porch while we ate, and then we were straight back on it. I think he’s trying to fit everything in before I leave. The days are quickly creeping up on me.
Zeff focussed mainly on teaching me how to shoot a gun. By the end of the session I was hitting three out four bottles on target. It took me quite a while, and a shed load of bullets and curse words, but I’m really proud of that achievement.
It was after lunch when Zeff showed me how to handle a knife properly. Using the hanging dummy as a target, he showed me the best tactics and moves to get myself in a position to stab my intended through the heart. After I got a hang of that we moved onto shooting a crossbow. That was fun, but really hard. I hit the target once, on the outer edge.
Zeff said not to worry, so long as I can shoot a gun and stab using my blade, I’ll be fine.
Personally, I’d rather not have to do either.
“Thanks for today,” I murmur, tilting my face to the sun, enjoying its warmth. “I had fun … which is a weird thing to say considering I’ve been shooting beer bottles, stabbing dummies, and firing off arrows at a huge dart board.”
I hear a little rumble of laughter in his chest. “Welcome to my world.” His voice sounds deeper than normally, a little sleepy.
“I mean, I’m no Nikita, but I think I did all right.”
“You did good, Bunny. You could kick Nikita’s ass, hands tied behind your back, blindfolded.”
I laugh, feeling a warm glowing coating my insides. “I highly doub
t it, but thanks for the confidence.”
I always get this feeling when he praises me. There’s a real teacher-pupil thing going on here.
“Are you tired?” I add. Looking down at him, I rest my chin on my shoulder. “Because I can get off if you need to crash? I do need to get back to my apartment for my next feed soon anyway.”
I’ve been a little lax with my feeds lately and I want to make sure I get back on track with my timings.
He opens his eyes, looking a little more alert than I was expecting. Then sits up, resting on his elbows.
“I’m fine,” he says. “I would have hunted more blood for you than I did if I'd considered it.”
“Don’t be silly,” I chide good-naturedly. “I appreciated you doing just that. It was really thoughtful.”
“I aim to please.” He winks. He can be such a flirt at times. “Actually thinking on it, why don’t you just feed here, use the woods to hunt?” He nods his head in the direction.
“Hmm, I suppose I could.” I shrug.
Actually, thinking about it, I can just hunt, then I get to hang out here a bit longer. It’s better than going back to my empty apartment. And he seems to want me here, with him offering. Yeah, I think I’ll do just that.
“Bunny, can I ask something?” he breaks into my reverie.
There’s that nosey tone to his voice, the one I’ve heard before when he’s questioned me about my change into a Vârcolac.
“Depends on what it is.” My voice is light, but I give him a curious stare.
He sits up the rest of the way, shifting to the side, so he’s facing me. “Why don’t you shift into your wolf form for hunting? I’d think it would be easier for you, you know, considering the type of things you’re hunting.”
I sit up straight. “How do you know I don’t?”
A smile. “Call it an educated guess.” There’s something behind his eyes that I can’t quite grasp a hold of.
Pulling my eyes from his I look down at my T-shirt and start fiddling with the hem. “Okay so you’re right, I haven’t turned.”
“Why?” His voice is soft, tainted with interest.
I blow a breath out. Then taking hold of my ponytail I yank the band out, freeing my hair. I fan it out around my face with my fingers. I need it as a shield. “Because I’m scared,” I breathe the words out.
“Of?”
I bite my lip. I still haven’t had the nerve to look at him yet.
“I’m afraid I’ll get stuck and won’t be able to change back.”
I expect him to laugh, but he doesn’t. So I glance up at him, through the veil of hair. His eyes are intent on my face. No humour there, just intrigue and kindness. It eases me somewhat.
“I get that, but Bunny it’s a natural thing for you do now. You shouldn’t repress it.”
“I’m not repressing it.” My voice hitches up an octave.
He raises an eyebrow. I look away.
Okay, so he’s right. I am suppressing it. I can feel it deep down inside fighting to get out. A wild animal in me caged up, desperate for freedom, and she’s getting more and more frustrated and antsy as the days roll on and on.
“It’s not good for you,” he adds. “You have to let that side out of you. If you keep caging it up then it could turn on you one day.”
Sitting up, back ramrod straight, I flick my edgy eyes to him. “Turn on me?”
“Look I’m no expert, but I think it’s a possibility that if you suppress that side of yourself for too long, then …”
“It’ll turn me into the killer I’m meant to be?”
He shrugs. “Maybe. I guess that could happen. You do seem highly strung. Is that just you naturally?”
“No!” I say offended. “Okay, well … I can be a bit demanding and argumentative at times,” I concede. “But not as bad as I have been lately, no.” I release a sigh. “I’m going to have to do it aren’t I?”
He nods. “Just look at this way, you’re taking control of it, just like you have with the vampire need in you – feeding on animals not humans, so in my opinion taking control and turning into who you really are can only be a good thing.”
I brush my fingers through my hair, contemplating.
I guess he’s got a valid point. I’d never thought of it that way before.
“I can’t do it alone though, and I have no one, like me, to help me.” Nathan would have been able to help me.
Zeff limbers to his feet and holds a hand out to me. “I might not be able to change like you can, but I can be there for you, and with you, while you do.”
I glance at his hand, then his face. He means it. Something funny churns in me. Nerves. I am honestly considering this. How does he do that? Having a way of making me feel like I can tackle anything.
“Remind me again, why you – a hunter, are helping me – a Vârcolac?” I put my hands in his and allow him to pull me to my feet. “You’re supposed to kill things like me.”
“I know, but I kind of made myself a promise long ago that I’d try and not kill my friends.” He grins, but it doesn’t last long. “And because Bunny, in a few days you’ll be back out in the big bad world all alone, and the only way I can feel better about that is if I know I sent you back out there fully equipped.”
My own smile drops from my face. And if I’m being honest I feel kind of winded.
Keeping hold of one of my hands, Zeff turns and starts to walk toward the woods, but I don’t move and it tugs him back to a stop. He turns and looks at me curiously.
“You said if I cage this part of me up it could turn on me one day, but … what if I let it out and then there’s no going back for me. What if what I have caged up in here is a monster and I release it, and then I’m done for? I lose the scrap of humanity I have left and I become a monster.”
He moves close to me, and the hand he’s holding he takes hold of with his other too, bringing them to rest against his chest, cradling it in his huge palms. He stares down into my eyes. Heat starts to burn through me.
“There is more humanity in you than I see in the average person on a daily basis.” His voice is rough. “Being what you are, won’t change who you are.”
He words coat around me like silk armour. “How do you know?”
“Because I know you.”
I hate that he does, and how much I like the fact.
It’s like a huge band-aid on my long open unhealing wound.
Pulling in a deep breath, I say, “Okay. I’ll give it a try.”
We stand for a moment, my hand burning in Zeff’s hold.
Finally loosening his grip, he says, “Come on. Let’s get this show on the road.”
He holds my hand for the whole walk there. And I don’t once try to move it away.
“So now what?” I ask once we’re safely in the trees.
“Well, you do your thing.” Leaning his back against a giant oak tree, he gestures to me with his hand.
“You do remember our conversation out there, don’t you?” I thumb toward the clearing. “You know the one we had a few minutes ago, the one when I said I’d never done this before.”
A pirate smile. “I guess you’ll just have to concentrate on what you want to do and then allow your body to change naturally. I’m sure your natural instincts will just take over.”
“Seriously,” I say, quirking an eyebrow. “Where are you getting this crap from? And please don’t say, the ‘Vârcolac How To’ manual.”
He laughs. “I don’t know. It just sounded like a good thing to say. It seemed appropriate.”
“Okay, so I just concentrate and allow my body to change naturally?” I feel like an idiot. I have no clue what I’m doing. I’m stood in the middle of the woods trying to turn into a wolf.
Sometimes I really can’t believe my life.
I cast my mind back, trying to think of the time I was with Nathan in the woods when he shifted, what exactly it was he did.
But then I wasn’t so much focussed on what he was changing int
o and more what he was changing out of. I get a flicker of the moment in my mind. A shiver runs over my skin, prickling my hairs.
That was one thing he did though. He undressed so he wouldn’t shred his clothes. And I’m going to need to do the same. I don’t have many clothes and can’t afford to tear the ones I do have.
“I think … well, I’m erm … going to need to undress,” I utter. I can feel my cheeks starting to burn already. I see his brows go up, so I add, “It’s so I don’t tear my clothes when I shift. Would you mind turning around while I undress.”
“Sure.” He turns away, leaning his shoulder up against the tree.
I kick my trainers off, removing my socks and stuffing them in my shoes. I peel my T-shirt off, fold it up and lay it on my trainers, then unbutton and shimmy out of my jeans, fold and put them with the rest. My eyes keep flicking ahead, to Zeff. I feel really uncomfortable undressing in his presence, whether he can see me or not.
Okay, so I’m just in my bra and knickers. In the middle of the forest. With Zeff.
I’ve decided I’m not taking them off. I don’t care if they do get wrecked. I’m not standing completely stark naked with him, whether he can see me or not. Standing here in my bra and knickers is bad enough.