For Barbara, Michael, and Lucy
Contents
Title Page
Dedication
1 Pamela’s Presents
2 Two Families
3 Jinx on Pamela
4 Valentine’s Day
5 Pamela’s Party
6 Purple Suspenders
7 Ricky and Karen
8 Hearts and Flowers
9 Picky, Yicky, Sticky Ricky
10 Ricky’s Card
11 U R 4 Me
12 Special Delivery
13 Red Hots
14 2 Good 2 B 4-Gotten
15 Santa Claus Sam
16 Wedding Plans
17 Bridesmaids and Violins
18 “Nah, Nah, Nah-Nah, Nah!”
19 Kiss! Kiss!
20 Karen the Bride
About the Author
Also Available
Copyright
Pamela’s Presents
“Thank you, Mrs. Dawes! ‘Bye, Nancy. I’ll see you in school tomorrow!”
Nancy Dawes is one of my best friends. (I have two.) We are both seven. We are in Ms. Colman’s second-grade class at Stoney-brook Academy. Mrs. Dawes had just driven me home from school and dropped me off in front of my mother’s house. (Nancy lives next door to me.)
I ran across our lawn and through our front door. Usually I yell, “Hello! I’m home!” and then I look for Mommy and Andrew. Andrew is my little brother. He is four, going on five.
But today I had just opened the door when Andrew ran to meet me.
“Karen! Karen!” he cried. “You got mail today!”
Mail! Wow. I hardly ever get mail. Most of our mail is for Mommy. Or else it is junk mail, and Mommy throws it away.
“Where? Where’s my mail?” I cried. I dropped my book bag on the floor. I did not even bother to take off my winter coat or my scarf. I did take off my mittens, though. If I did not do that, how could I open the envelope?
“It’s in the kitchen,” Andrew answered. He ran in ahead of me. Then he ran back out, carrying the mail. We crashed into each other.
“OW!” we said, but we did not mind the crash. Andrew handed me an envelope. He waited while I tore into it.
“Ooh, it’s a birthday invitation,” I said. “Someone is having a party.” I opened the card.
“Oh, no!” I cried.
“What?” asked Andrew. He leaned over to look at the card. I do not know why. He can’t read yet.
“It’s an invitation to Pamela Harding’s birthday party.” I can’t stand Pamela. Or her friends Jannie and Leslie. And they can’t stand Nancy or Hannie or me. (Hannie is my other best friend. She lives near Daddy’s house. She is also in Ms. Colman’s class. She and Nancy and I call ourselves the Three Musketeers.)
“I wonder if Nancy and Hannie got invited to Pamela’s party, too,” I said.
I dashed into the kitchen. “Hi, Mommy! School was fine. I need to use the phone,” I cried. Then I thought of something. “Can I use the phone in your bedroom? I think I am going to need privacy.”
Mommy said I could use her phone, so I ran upstairs. I called Nancy.
“Hi, Nancy?” I said. “Did you get an invitation to — ”
“ — Pamela’s birthday party?” Nancy finished for me. “Yeah…. Darn it.”
“Now we have to get her presents,” I said. “Who wants to get presents for Pamela, anyway? She’ll hate whatever we buy her.”
“Let’s get her things she won’t want,” suggested Nancy.
“Yeah. She’ll have to pretend she likes them. We could get her really yucky things or really mean things.”
“Like the prize in a Cracker Jacks box?” said Nancy.
I giggled.
Nancy and Hannie and I called each other all afternoon. We had different ideas about what presents we should get for Pamela.
Nancy stuck to her Cracker Jacks prize. But I think she was kidding. Her mother would never let her take a Cracker Jacks prize to a birthday party.
Hannie wanted to get her something babyish, like pink mittens, with clips to fasten them to the sleeves of her ski jacket.
I did not know what to get her … yet.
But I would think of something.
Two Families
I bet you’re wondering something. I bet you’re wondering why my mommy has one house and my daddy has another house.
Well, that is because my parents are divorced. They used to be married. That was a long time ago — when they had Andrew and me. They loved each other then. But after awhile they decided they did not love each other anymore. They loved Andrew and me, but not each other. So they got divorced. Daddy stayed in that big house. He had grown up in the house. But Mommy moved to a little house. She took Andrew and me with her. Luckily, the big house and the little house are in the same town — Stoneybrook, Connecticut.
Guess what. A couple of years after Mommy and Daddy got divorced, they each got married again. Mommy married a man named Seth. He’s my stepfather. When Seth moved into our house, he brought his cat and dog with him. His cat’s name is Rocky and his dog’s name is Midgie. I like animals, and I like Rocky and Midgie a lot. But not their names. I would have chosen better names for them. Oh, there is another pet at our house. It is my rat. Her name is Emily Junior.
Andrew and I live with Mommy and Seth most of the time. But every other weekend, and for two weeks in the summer, we live with Daddy at the big house. Boy. You would not believe all the people who live there. It is a good thing the house is so big.
At Daddy’s house are Daddy, of course, and his wife. His wife’s name is Elizabeth. She is my stepmother. Elizabeth has four kids! Three boys and a girl. Sam and Charlie are in high school. I like having big brothers, but Sam teases me. David Michael is my age, but he does not go to my school. David Michael is okay. He calls me Professor sometimes because I wear glasses. I even have two pairs of glasses. One is for reading. The other is for the rest of the time. (By the way, “Professor” is a nice nickname, not a mean one.) Anyway, then there is my stepsister, Kristy. I love Kristy so, so much. She is one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. Kristy is thirteen. She baby-sits.
There are still more people at the big house. There is Emily Michelle. She is two and a half. Emily is adopted. She came from a country called Vietnam. That is far away. (I named Emily, my rat, after her.) Finally, there is Nannie. Nannie is Elizabeth’s mother. That means she is my stepgrandmother. Nannie takes care of Emily while Daddy and Elizabeth are at work and everyone else is at school. There are also two animals at the big house. One is Shannon, David Michael’s puppy. The other is Boo-Boo. He is Daddy’s fat, old mean cat. I usually try to stay away from Boo-Boo.
You know what? I call my brother Andrew Two-Two and I call myself Karen Two-Two. (I got the names from a book Ms. Colman read to our class. It was called Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded Fang.) Andrew and I are two-twos because we have two mommies, two daddies, two families, two cats, two dogs, two houses, and more.
I have two best friends. Andrew and I each have toys and clothes and books at the big house and at the little house. I have a bicycle at each house and Andrew has a tricycle at each house. I even have two stuffed cats that are just the same. Moosie stays at the big house, Goosie stays at the little house. Having two of so many things is helpful because it means that Andrew and I don’t have to pack much when we go from one house to the other.
Being a two-two might sound like fun. Most of the time it is. But some things are not fun. I miss my rat when I go to the big house. And I did not have two special blankets. My blanket is named Tickly. For a long time, there was only one Tickly. I kept leaving Tickly behind at the big house or the little house. Finally I ripped Tickly in half so that I could have two pieces. I hope I did not hurt
Tickly.
Let’s see. A few more things. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I have some freckles, too. Once, I broke my wrist roller-skating. So that’s me, Karen Two-Two Brewer. My life is almost perfect.
If I could just figure out what to get Pamela for her dumb old birthday party….
Jinx on Pamela
The day after I got the invitation to Pamela’s party was another school day. Hannie and Nancy and Ricky Torres and I arrived at school early. We got to our classroom even before Ms. Colman. So did a bunch of other kids. But not Pamela. She had not come in yet.
“You want to hear something weird?” Ricky said. (Ricky has asked me to marry him. We will be planning a wedding soon. I think I love Ricky.)
“I always want to hear weird things,” I told Ricky.
“Yeah,” agreed Nancy, Hannie, Natalie Springer, and two boys.
“I got an invitation to Pamela Harding’s birthday party,” said Ricky.
“Me, too,” said everyone else.
“What’s she doing inviting boys to her party?” asked Bobby Gianelli. “I don’t want to go to some girlie party.”
“Well, what’s she doing inviting us?” asked Natalie. (She meant herself and Hannie and Nancy and me.) “She doesn’t like us.”
“I wonder why we were all invited,” I said aloud.
“Because my parents made me invite you,” a voice replied.
I whirled around. There stood Pamela. Leslie and Jannie were with her. They are always together, and they are almost always mean.
“My parents,” Pamela went on, “said I had to invite everyone in my class. They said that was the only fair thing to do. Especially since I am new here.”
Pamela joined our class after school began. Her family had just moved to Stoney-brook. At first, we were very interested in Pamela. She wears cool clothes. And her father is a dentist, and her mother writes books. Plus, she has a sister who is sixteen and lets Pamela wear her perfume. We all (well, all the girls) wanted Pamela to be our friend. But then we found out how snobby she is.
She proved it again right then. “I wish I could have had a sleepover just for my special friends,” she said. She glanced at Leslie and Jannie. The three of them smiled.
“I wish you could have, too,” I told her.
Pamela made a face at me. Then she and Leslie and Jannie went to a corner of the room to talk by themselves.
“Boo,” I said to Ricky. “I know my mother will make me go to the party.”
“So will mine,” said Ricky.
“Hey! Maybe we can jinx Pamela’s party,” I exclaimed. Then I lowered my voice. “You know, we can play tricks and stuff.”
“Yeah!” whispered Ricky. “We can tell Pamela things. Like … like I found a spider in my piece of cake and now I am going to barf.”
I laughed. “If we play Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey, we should try to tape the tail on Pamela instead!”
“We can bring Pamela presents that look beautiful. But when she unwraps them, the boxes will be empty,” said Hannie.
“Oh!” I said to Ricky. “Hannie and Nancy and I talked about presents yesterday. We decided to bring baby stuff, or things Pamela won’t like.”
“Good idea,” said Ricky. “I will do that, too. What are you going to bring, Karen?”
“I haven’t decided yet. It has to be just the wrong thing.”
Ricky smiled. “Let’s see. I could bring her a snake.”
“A real one?” I shuddered.
“Well, I was thinking of a rubber one. But a real snake would be even better. I wonder where I can get one.”
Ricky and I could not stop laughing. We were imagining Pamela opening a box — and finding a snake inside!
Valentine’s Day
Clap, clap, clap.
Ms. Colman was standing in front of her desk. She was ready to start class. She wanted to get our attention.
Everyone ran for their desks. We like Ms. Colman a lot. We try to please her. (At least, I do.)
Hannie and Nancy ran to the back of the room. They sit next to each other in the last row.
Ricky and I ran to the front of the room. We sit next to each other in the first row. That is because we both wear glasses. (So does Natalie Springer. She sits on the other side of Ricky.) I used to sit in the back with Hannie and Nancy. That was before I got my glasses.
Ms. Colman is a patient teacher. She hardly ever yells. And she is nice when she has to remind me about things. See, I am the youngest one in our class. (That is because I skipped from kindergarten to first grade in the middle of school last year.) Sometimes I forget to wear my glasses. Ms. Colman reminds me nicely. Sometimes I forget to raise my hand in class. Ms. Colman reminds me not to call out. And sometimes I forget to use my quiet voice in the classroom. Then Ms. Colman just says, “Indoor voice, please, Karen.” Ms. Colman is my best teacher ever.
“Okay, class,” said Ms. Colman when we were sitting down. “I have an announcement to make.”
I grinned and sneaked a peek back at Hannie and Nancy. We love Ms. Colman’s Surprising Announcements.
“Girls and boys,” Ms. Colman went on, “as you know, Valentine’s Day is coming up.” (Yea! I adore holidays. I try to celebrate every one, even the small ones like Arbor Day. Plus, last December, I celebrated Christmas with my family, and Hanukkah with Nancy’s family. Now it was time for cards and candy and hearts and maybe little presents.) “How would you like to celebrate Valentine’s Day?” Ms. Colman asked us.
She was leaving it up to us? Wow!
“A party!” cried Nancy.
“Yeah!” said just about everyone, even Pamela.
“That would be gigundo fun,” I added.
“I,” said Terri, who has a twin sister, “would like to take a trip to the aquarium.”
“Me, too,” said Tammy. (Tammy is Terri’s twin.)
“No!” shouted the rest of us.
“Hold on,” said Ms. Colman. “What happened to raising your hands?” Then she went on, “I think we’ll be having a party. What will we do at our party?”
Bobby raised his hand. “Eat,” he said. “Can we have cupcakes and candy?”
“I think so,” replied Ms. Colman. “What else?”
“Play games,” said Hannie, who remembered to raise her hand, too.
Then Natalie raised her hand.
“Yes, Natalie?” said Ms. Colman.
“We’ll give each other valentines, won’t we?”
“Of course. We will each make our own mailbox.”
That made me think of something. I would give Ricky a valentine surprise. But what? A gift? It would have to be something special. Extra-super-gigundo special. After all, Ricky and I were engaged.
So what could I get him for Valentine’s Day? A bow tie? No, that would be boring. Candy? Maybe, but that was not very special.
Now I had to think of two presents to give to people. A yucky one for Pamela and a nice one for Ricky.
Pamela’s Party
One Saturday I woke up at the little house. The first thing I did was groan. That was not because I had a stomachache.
It was because it was the day of Pamela Harding’s birthday party. Oh, well. At least I was not the only one who did not want to go.
I had finally found a present for Pamela. It was a package with five plastic bracelets in it: pink, blue, green, yellow, and purple. I knew that Pamela would not like them. I was not even sure they would fit her.
“Is this really what you want to take to Pamela’s party?” Mommy asked me when we were in the store. “We could get something else. Or we could get something to go with the bracelets. Maybe a locket?”
“Nope. The bracelets are fine,” I told Mommy. “They’re perfect for Pamela.” I took them home and wrapped them up. I wrapped them sloppily.
* * *
On the day of the party, I did not get dressed up. I just put on a pair of jeans and a baggy red sweater. I thought about wearing my party shoes. I wore my sneakers instead. Then I looked
at my hair ribbons and barrettes. I did not put any on.
“Is that how you’re going to Pamela’s party?” Mommy asked when she saw me.
“Yup,” I replied.
Mommy shrugged. “Okay.”
Mommy drove Nancy and Hannie and me to Pamela’s house. Nancy had not been allowed to give Pamela a Cracker Jacks prize. Her parents made her buy a game. Hannie had not been allowed to give Pamela the baby mittens. Her parents made her buy a pair of gigundo cool pants. They were pink leggings. And they were just Pamela’s style.
Oh, well, I thought. Ricky is bringing a live snake.
Mommy dropped us off at Pamela’s house and watched to make sure that we got inside okay. We had not been to Pamela’s before. When we stepped into her house, it looked like a circus. Balloons and streamers were everywhere. A huge sign said HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAMELA! A clown was walking around. And someone who was wearing all back clothes was carrying some paints. Everyone except Hannie and Nancy and I was dressed up.
“Hi,” said Pamela. “Come on in. This is my circus birthday.” Pamela looked very proud of herself.
I was so suprised that I forgot to say, “Happy birthday.” So did Hannie and Nancy. We just handed Pamela her presents. Then we took off our coats.
I looked around for Ricky. He was not there yet. Boo.
I looked at the kids in the living room. All the boys were crowded to one side. All the girls were crowded to the other side. The clown was trying to make them talk to each other. He was not having much luck. I felt bad for him.
Soon the doorbell rang again. There were Bobby and … Ricky! Ricky’s present looked like it was just the right size for a snake.
Since everyone had arrived, Pamela’s sister came into the living room. “Let the party begin!” she cried.
What a party it was! The clown turned out to be a juggler. He juggled balls and canes and hats. He balanced a Ping-Pong ball on his nose. The person dressed in black came around and painted our faces. She painted me to look like a cat.
When the juggler and painter were finished, it was time to sit down at the special birthday table. The dining room was decorated to look like a circus wagon. There were goody bags at each place at the table, and boy, were they fancy. They were made of either red or blue cellophane, and they were tied with gold ribbon.