Copyright © Terri Anne Browning/Anna Henson 2018
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of Terri Anne Browning, except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976.
Forever Lucy
Written by Terri Anne Browning
All Rights Reserved ©Terri Anne Browning 2018
Cover Design by Sara Eirew
Cover Photo by CJC Photography
Models: Gus Caleb Smyrnios & Lauren Summer
Edited by Lisa Hollett of Silently Correcting Your Grammar
Formatting by M.L. Pahl of IndieVention Designs
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Forever Lucy is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
No part of this book can be reproduced in any form by electronic or mechanical means, including storage or retrieval systems, without the express permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer who may quote short excerpts in a review.
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Epilogue
Prologue
Lucy
The smell of freshly ground coffee filled my senses, and I moaned. As I stretched my arms, the sheets fell to my waist, and I slowly lifted my lashes. The bed beside me was empty, but the scent of coffee seemed like it was right under my nose. Raising my head, I looked around and found Harris standing in the doorway. At the sight of him, my craving for the steaming mug of coffee in his hand vanished, replaced by a stronger, more demanding one for the sexy man before me.
He was only wearing a pair of sweats that sat low on his hips, showing off his washboard abs and that delicious V. I licked my lips and rubbed my thighs together, my panties already damp as I raked my eyes over the rest of him. His hair was messy from where I had run my fingers through it before falling asleep in his arms the night before. There was a day’s worth of stubble on his strong jaw that I desperately wanted rubbing against the sensitive skin of my inner thighs.
His aquamarine eyes were full of hunger, and his lips twitched with the beginnings of an amused smirk, teasing me with just a hint of his dimples. “Good morning, fiancée.”
Hearing that word made something contract inside of me, and I could feel my skin begin to glow with happiness all over again. He seemed to see the change I could feel in myself because his breath caught, and he pushed away from the doorway to cross to our bed. Putting his mug on the nightstand, he fell onto the bed beside me, his lips already seeking mine.
When he finally lifted his head minutes later, I was gasping softly, but I couldn’t stop the joyful grin that lifted my lips. “Good morning, fiancé.”
He pushed himself up onto his elbow and smoothed my wildly curly hair back from my face. “So…” he started but quickly trailed off, his eyes going to my chest that was covered in one of his old T-shirts. But he couldn’t miss the fact that my nipples were diamond hard and aching for his touch.
I skimmed my index finger down his chest, loving it when I saw goose bumps pop up on his arms. “So…?”
“Nat called me earlier…” He trailed off again, but he didn’t really need to finish this time.
I bit back a groan and buried my face in my pillow. “Can’t we just take a few days to enjoy being engaged before all of that starts?” I grumbled.
Hell, we had only gotten engaged the night before. I was still floating on cloud nine from how happy I was, and I wasn’t ready to face the craziness of actually planning a wedding yet.
“She said the sooner we start, the easier everything will be for everyone.” He tried to soothe me. “The moms want to throw us an engagement party.”
“But we haven’t even picked a date,” I half whined, half sighed, knowing I was going to be outnumbered no matter what I said, and resigning myself to the chaos that was about to ensue.
He laughed and touched his lips to the middle of my forehead. “That’s the easy part, sweetness. Just pick a day you’re happy with, and we’ll plan around it. See? Easy.”
I snorted and rolled my eyes. “Sure. Easy.”
Harris rolled me onto my back and settled between my spread legs. I moaned when he pressed into the perfect spot that made me forget about the madness our lives were about to turn into and hooked a leg over his hip. “I’m serious. Pick a date. Any date. I don’t care when or where. I just want to marry you, Lu.”
Happiness swelled inside of me all over again, and the date spilled out of my lips before I could even think. “March 26th.”
He lifted himself up onto his arms so he could look down at me better. “That’s a random date.”
My teeth sank into my bottom lip, and I shrugged my shoulders, turning my gaze away from his so he wouldn’t see my embarrassment. But this was Harris, and he wasn’t about to let me hide away from him. Grasping my chin between his thumb and index finger, he tilted my head up so that our eyes met and locked. “Why that date?”
I released my hold on my lip and licked away the small sting I had caused it, taking my time to gather my thoughts before I answered him. I could have lied and said it was just a date, but the truth was so much more than that.
“Lucy?”
“It was the date I first realized I loved you as more than just my best friend,” I confessed when his eyes silently implored me. “I was eleven, but I knew I loved you. That I would always love you.”
His eyes melted, but his lips lifted into a cocky grin, flashing both those sexy damn dimples at me. “Okay, then. March 26th, it is.”
I pushed at his shoulders. “Be serious.”
“I’m very serious. We’re getting married March 26th. Even if that means we have to wait until next year.”
My eyes widened. “Why would we have to wait until next year?”
He sat up quickly and then stood. “Nat, your mom, and Emmie will be here soon. Get your sexy ass up and put on some clothes. Marcus has the day off, but he hasn’t left for his run yet.”
“Wait,” I called after him as he picked up his mug and headed for the door. “Why would we have to wait a year?” He kept walking. “Harris!”
At the door, he turned, and I saw the sheepish expression on his face. “The moms want a big wedding.”
Oh dear Lord. Apprehension filled me, and I got a sick feeling in my stomach. “They do?”
But…what about what I want?
Yet, for some reason, I held my tongue when his eyes became imploring once again. “They sounded excited, Lu. Nat was practically bouncing when she called me earlier. Let’s just see what they have up their sleeves first, okay?”
I put a smile on my face, while inside I was finding it hard to breathe. When I looked back on it later, I knew that was the moment I should have opened my mouth and put a stop to it all. Should have put my foot down and fought for what I really wanted. Instead, a simple “okay” left me, and I couldn’t really regret it when his eyes filled with relief.
--
An hour later, our living room was full of my mom, his stepmom, and Au
nt Emmie. There were binders spread on the coffee table, which had long since overflowed, and some were now on the floor. I didn’t think they’d had time to do this overnight since Harris only asked me to marry him the day before, so I had to wonder just how long Harris had been planning to propose and how long the mothers had known about it.
Each heavy binder contained a different wedding “issue” they all said I needed to decide on. But there were so many things to choose from that it seemed a bit daunting. One in particular had my eyes narrowing. Napkins? Why was there an entire overflowing binder on just napkins? Why did that really even matter? No one cared about freaking napkins.
I felt a little dizzy as all three women talked on both sides of me, but it was like they weren’t even talking to me.
Harris sat in a chair across from his stepmom, watching her more than anyone else. I could see how happy he was because she seemed so thrilled about all of this. All three of them were ecstatic, actually, and I had to admit I hadn’t seen my mother smiling so much since before she found out about my cutting.
Things had been strained between us ever since she found out, even though I’d tried hard not to let them be. She had been so mad and scared that I knew I’d let her down, and I didn’t know how to fix our once-close relationship. But the strain wasn’t between us in that moment. She kept touching my arm or my knee as she spoke to Aunt Emmie and Natalie. It felt natural, just like it was before everything came falling down around me when my darkest secret had been so forcefully thrown in her face.
“What do you think, honey?” Mom asked as she turned her brown eyes on me.
It was the first time any of the three had actually asked for my input, but I had been so caught up in enjoying the tension-free atmosphere that I didn’t even know what they had been talking about. “Sorry, Mom. I must have spaced out. What do I think of what?”
Amusement filled her eyes. “I think satin would look best for your wedding dress, but Nat thinks tulle and lace.”
“And on that note, I’m going to go drag Jace’s ass out of bed and hit the gym,” Harris said with a forced laugh. “I don’t think I’m supposed to know about the wedding dress.”
“But…” I started to protest. Don’t leave me alone with these people, I silently begged him with my eyes. You did this! Stay and help me.
He either didn’t see my plea or chose to ignore it, because he came around the back of the couch I was sitting on with my mom and Aunt Emmie and leaned over to kiss me. It was a quick, chaste kiss, because my mom shooed him away almost before his lips touched mine. Giving me a wink, he backed away from me. “Text me later, sweetness. I’ll bring home dinner.”
“You’re not working tonight?” Nat asked with a frown.
“Nope. Barb and Nate have it covered.” He gave a wave and disappeared into our bedroom.
“Finally,” Aunt Emmie grumbled and moved so that she was sitting on the floor in front of the twenty-plus binders. “I thought he was never going to leave.”
She pulled out a black binder I hadn’t even noticed until right then, but it was completely empty. “So, let’s start with the easy decisions. Tell me where you want to have the wedding, and I’ll go ahead and make that happen.”
That was one of the easy decisions? I had no clue where I even wanted to get married. They had already told me that the moon was the only limitation I had for where we couldn’t have it. But even then, I was sure my honorary aunt could pull some strings with NASA if I truly wanted to marry Harris in outer space.
“I want Harris to be a part of that decision,” I finally told her when nothing came to mind quickly.
“If it were me and I were marrying Dev all over again, I would want to have the ceremony in Paris.” Natalie released a wistful sigh. “I don’t regret getting married in Vegas, but if I could do it all over again, we would have a big wedding with all the trimmings.”
“Not me,” my mom said with a shake of her head, causing her long, cinnamon hair to sway in its ponytail. “If Jesse and I did it over, I would still want to get married in Vegas, but I would want a big reception.”
“Marrying Nik on the beach was always my dream,” Aunt Emmie said with a shrug of her small shoulders. “It was a great wedding, but I wouldn’t recommend getting married on the beach to anyone else. All that damn sand, and what if it had rained? Sure, we had tents up, but it really wasn’t all that practical.”
“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that where Shane and Harper got married is out of the question,” Nat muttered as she made a few notes in her phone.
“Fucking right,” Mom and Aunt Emmie said at the same time, and I saw my aunt shudder. Shane and Harper’s wedding had been perfect, which was why their baby shower for Violet had been held at the same venue. But the memories everyone had of that day had ruined that particular location for all of us, especially Aunt Em.
Behind us, the bedroom door opened, and Harris came out with his gym bag hanging over his shoulder. Before he could start for the door, his stepmom waved him over. “Lucy said she wants to include you in the venue decision. Where would you like to get married?”
He shrugged, and I wanted to punch him in the stomach. “I already told you, Nat. I don’t care where. Just get me a tux and point me to the front of the church. All that matters is that Lucy walks down the aisle to me.”
The urge to punch him faded—for the most part—and I melted with happiness all over again. He bent and kissed her cheek, then did the same to my mom before dropping a kiss on the top of my head. “Later, sweetness.”
I waved weakly as he walked out the door before being pulled back to the topic at hand. Little did I know that the venue was the easiest of all the decisions that had to be made then and there.
It was several hours before they left, with a list of things Natalie and Aunt Emmie could start the ball rolling on. They had been relieved when Harris told them we could wait until the following year to get married, but they still seemed in a rush to get everything sorted as quickly as possible. Apparently, even fourteen months was still a ridiculously short amount of time to plan a wedding.
I was exhausted as I closed the door behind them. My head ached from all the things I still had to make a decision on, and when I turned to find the binders still spread on the floor and coffee table, I was tempted to cry. Instead, I picked up my phone as I flopped ungracefully onto the couch and called the one person who I knew would have my back through this madness.
“Hi, Daddy,” I greeted, feeling myself relax as soon as I heard his voice.
“Hey, baby. What’s up?”
“Oh, nothing really. Mom just left. I missed you.”
“That bad, huh?” he said with a chuckle that calmed me further.
“It was a little intense,” I complained.
“I’m sorry, baby girl. To tell you the truth, it’s been a little intense for me to watch them put those damn binders together. We all knew for a few weeks now that Harris was going to propose last night, and those three have been meeting up to put those things together every weekend. Your mom has been practically dancing with excitement wanting to talk to you about this wedding shit, so she’s been yapping my ear off about it.”
“Really?” I whispered, suddenly unsure of the entire situation.
“Yeah, honey. Look, don’t tell her I told you this, but she’s felt guilty about how she took you confessing about the…the cutting…” He broke off, and I could hear how hard he swallowed, which only increased my guilt over telling them about my self-harming during the summer. He cleared his throat before he spoke again. “Planning this wedding for you is her attempt to make up for all of that, Lu.”
When I looked at it from that point of view, I could see that was exactly what my mom was trying to do. Earlier, it hadn’t exactly felt like that. If anything, it had kind of felt like both she and Natalie were trying to relive their own weddings through mine. But now that I was looking at it through my dad’s eyes, I could see Mom was trying to mak
e up for her initial reaction to the cutting.
The need to have Dad step in faded, and I pulled the phone away from my mouth to blow out a painful sigh as I tried to hold back my tears.
“Lu?”
I lifted the phone back into place. “Yeah, Daddy?”
“If it gets to be too much, tell me. I don’t know what I can do to help out, but I’ll talk to them. I promise you, baby, I won’t let them get out of hand. Just say the word, and I’ll take care of it.”
“Th-thanks, Daddy, but I think it will all be okay. I just overreacted because I was a little upset. I wanted to take a few weeks to just enjoy being engaged, and they swooped in the morning after and took over.” I grimaced. “But I can see Mom’s heart is in the right place. I get it, and I’ll let them have their fun.”
“Good, I’m glad you’re okay with this. Because I think it would have broken Layla’s heart if you didn’t want her to be a part of planning this with you. Things have been tense with you two, honey. I don’t like seeing my girls like that.”
“Me either, Daddy. I’m sorry Mom and I haven’t been as close as we were before…everything.”
“Hey.” Dad’s tone lowered, turning soothing and blasting me with all the love I knew he had for me. “That wasn’t your fault. Your mom knows she fucked up. She knows that she was in the wrong and that she hurt you.”
“N-no,” I started to interrupt, but I stopped myself. Because if I were really and truly honest with myself, I would admit that the way she yelled at me after my confession had cut me deeper than I could have imagined. From the first time I had picked up a blade and purposely harmed myself, from the very first moment I’d seen the drop of blood well up on my skin, I had been terrified she would react exactly as she had. And that was why I hadn’t told anyone what I was doing to myself.
“It doesn’t matter anymore, Lu. It doesn’t. All I care about is that you’re okay. And if, for any reason, this wedding planning makes you not okay, I want you to tell me. Got it?”
“Yeah, Daddy. I got it.”
I could hear the smile in his voice now. “Good. Glad that’s cleared up. Now, how about having lunch with your dear old dad tomorrow? I have to come into the city for a few things, so there’s no use coming out here for our normal Saturday date.”