“Undercover?”
“Lucky was an ATF Special Agent.”
“He never told me.”
“Again, this is all confidential. Several of the sources he used could be killed if the wrong people found out where the information came from to make the arrests. He also was instrumental in finding several women who were kidnapped by a sex ring, and Lucky saved Lily’s life.
“What you are looking at, Willa, is Lucky’s life. He’s saved hundreds of lives and has made a difference in hundreds of others. He’s a fucking hero, but he can’t live with one fact.”
“What?” Willa choked out.
“That he can’t save them all.”
“He can’t honestly believe … No one has that power. Only God.” Willa’s fingers trembled as she held the proof that Lucky had tried, nearly at the cost of his own life, to do just that.
“Logically, Lucky knows that, but that’s what PTSD does to you—it fucks you up.”
“That’s why he can’t sleep.”
Shade stared directly at her. “Yes. It was better here at the clubhouse, but it’s becoming worse.”
“Because of me,” she stated, staring back at him. “Why?”
“I don’t know. You’d have to ask Lucky that question.”
“Why do you believe the PTSD is becoming worse?”
“The brothers and I kept Lucky physically active. We aggravated him so he’d come down to the gym to work out his aggression. We kept him busy with paperwork and errands. We also have initiations for the recruits, and we made sure he was always one picked to fight.”
“The women, also.” Willa bit her lip. “He used knives on them.”
“Not like you’re thinking, Willa. It’s not about cutting; it’s about trust. Lucky is a master with those things. He never makes a mistake with them.”
“You’d have to trust someone a lot to let them put a knife to your throat,” Willa said ruefully.
Shade pointed at the medals still sitting on her lap. “Do you really believe that the man who earned those medals could hurt a woman, especially one he loves enough to risk his sanity?”
“Do you think he knew it was going to be hard leaving The Last Riders?”
“Yes, it was hard for him when he was undercover, but building the cases kept him busy, and the parishioners.”
“He doesn’t have that now, and he walked away from the club.”
“Exactly.”
“I didn’t ask him to leave.”
Shade stood, taking the medals away from her and stacking them back into the cabinet before locking the drawer closed then locking the cabinet.
“I would like those, please.”
“They aren’t mine to give.” Shade put his hands in his pockets, going to stand by the door. “You may not have asked him to leave, but you knew he was leaving because of you. He already feels guilty because Bridge wants to hurt you. Do you know he always said he was going to marry a slut?”
“What?” Willa gasped. She didn’t know if she should be happy or upset that she didn’t fit Lucky’s image of a perfect wife.
She thought Shade’s mouth twitched, but she couldn’t be sure.
“He’ll tell you it was because of Bridge, that he didn’t want to leave a wife behind who couldn’t move on, but I believe he knew it would be difficult to leave The Last Riders. A slut would fit into the club.”
“That’s true,” Willa snapped then frowned. “There’s something I don’t understand. I thought Bridge threatened to kill the woman Lucky loves, not Lucky.”
“He did, but if Lucky finds out Bridge got anywhere next to you, he’ll kill Bridge. Lucky is a Christian, but he won’t mind going to prison if he thinks anyone he cares about is in danger.”
Willa stood, walking to the large bed before turning to face Shade. “Lucky needs The Last Riders to heal.”
“Yes and no. He needs you, too.”
Willa dropped her head. “I can’t share him, and I really don’t want to let someone else touch me.” She looked up to see his reaction.
Shade’s arms crossed over his chest. “Do Lily and Beth seem happy to you?”
“You mean … I thought because they lived…”
“Rachel and Cash have their own home, too. Lucky laid the foundation for his home a few feet from Razer’s.”
“He didn’t tell me…” Willa didn’t know what to do. To help Lucky, she was going to have to let go of the ideal of the kind of marriage she and Lucky should have. It was going to be up to her to make most of the changes and accept a group of people as family.
“Can I ask you one more thing?” she asked hesitantly.
“Go ahead.” This time, there was no mistaking his amusement.
She pointed to the upstairs. “Is it always like that, or was it just a wild night?”
“It gets worse.”
Willa paled.
“I know you, Willa. You’re strong enough to make a place for yourself in the club. Lucky will help you find the parts you like and keep you from the rest. It can work if you want it to.”
Willa nodded, walking toward him, and Shade opened the door for her.
“Something you said about when Lucky was behind enemy lines … You said he had crawled between two rocks. How did he get from there to the helicopter?”
“That’s another question.” He moved aside so she could pass. Instead, she stopped in front of him with tears coursing down her cheeks, barely able to see him as she tried to blink them back.
“You broke cover, didn’t you? You saved his life, and it wasn’t the last time, was it?” She went to her toes, reaching up to kiss Shade on his cheek. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Chapter 26
Willa let herself in the church, relieved when she heard Lucky in the shower. Smiling mischievously to herself, she took her clothes off and slipped on the bra and panty set Sex Piston had given her. She barely had time to throw her clothes in the hamper and arrange herself on the bed. With no time to spare, she found the remote on the nightstand.
Lucky was drying his hair with a towel with another knotted casually on his hips when he came to a stop in front of the bed, his mouth dropping open.
“How was the progress going at your house?”
“Good.” Willa didn’t cross her fingers. She was sure the house was progressing fine. She raised the remote in her hand. “Want to play?”
“Yeah, I want to play.” He threw the towel in his hand on the chair then jerked the one around his hips off, tossing it on top of the other one.
Willa giggled when Lucky jumped onto the bed. Before he could touch her, though, she scooted away.
“I love you so much, Lucky.”
“I love you, too, siren. Come here.”
Willa shook her head teasingly. “Ask me how much.”
“How much?”
“Ask me how much I love you.”
Lucky’s expression turned serious. “How much do you love me?”
Willa held her arms apart as far as they would go. “This much.” She crawled forward, wrapping her arms around him.
Lucky twisted his body until she was lying underneath him. “Siren, there are no words to describe what I feel for you.”
“There aren’t?”
“No, but I can show you.”
Lucky proved it to her with each brush of his mouth against her body. When his hand took hers, placing it on his cock, he showed the desire he had for her. Willa took his hand, showing him her body’s response.
She brushed her mouth against his nipple. “I have something to confess. I like your tattoos.”
“Thank you.”
“A lot.” She pushed him back on the bed, rising over him, her breasts brushing his chest. The bra she had on barely contained them. Willa placed one knee on the other side of his hip, straddling him. “Am I too heavy?”
Lucky’s hand smacked her butt, and Willa’s ha
nd went back to soothe the slight sting while she pouted down at him.
“You could have just said no.”
“I thought that answer would be more effective.”
“Kind of puts me out of the mood,” she said.
“Let me see if I can help you find it again.” Lucky grinned unrepentantly up at her, each hand sliding up a thigh until they met at her pussy with his thumbs resting on her clit.
Willa ground herself down on him.
“Nope.” Lucky took his hands away.
“You do want to make love, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” Lucky arched his hips underneath her, pressing his cock against her mound. Then his hands went to her breasts, tugging them out of the bra cups until they were pushed up and framed by the leopard material. “Lord have mercy,” Lucky breathed.
Willa placed her hands on his chest, exploring the ridges of his muscles. “I say that every time you touch me,” she confessed.
She kissed the firm jaw that made her melt. Then she licked the groove of his throat, feeling him swallow hard.
The women at her bachelorette party had all shared the particular trigger that made them horny. Just looking at Lucky made her feel that way: each time he stood next to her when church released, when he winked at her, when he swiped another oatmeal cookie, or even when he became angry because she insisted on serving him at the table. There was nothing about her husband that she didn’t like … except for one thing.
“Quit teasing me,” she moaned when he put his hands behind his head.
“Whatcha gonna do about it?” He smirked up at her.
Willa’s eyes narrowed on her arrogant husband, believing he needed to be taken down a peg or two. Having been observant long enough to know what Lucky’s trigger was, Willa gave her husband a saccharine sweet smile that brought a worried frown to his brow.
She scooted down his body, bringing her breasts to his eye-level, then unclasped the front closure, letting her tits swing free. Lucky’s eyes widened. He leaned forward, but before he could trap a nipple in his mouth, she slid down farther, placing butterfly kisses on his flat stomach. When she heard his groan, she slipped her legs between his. Taking his cock in her hand, she adjusted her body then seductively—she hoped—rubbed his cock against her breast, using the crown of his dick to tease her nipple. When his hands clenched the sheets, she knew she had him.
She lowered her head, flicking the tip with her tongue to make it wet, and then pressed it against her nipple. His eyes glazed over when he saw the moisture clinging to her nipple.
Her head lowered again, and this time, she twirled her tongue over the entire head before rising and placing the tip against her other nipple.
“Siren…” He didn’t have to tell her; she could tell from his expression he was about to lose control.
Quickly, she pressed his cock in the cleft between her breasts. Using her hand, she stroked him as fast as she could, and he practically ripped the sheets off the bed he came so hard. Willa waited until he quit shuddering before releasing him and crawling back up to lie next to him.
Lucky turned to his side. “Remind me never to get you mad at me.”
“I will.”
“It’s going to take me a few minutes to recover.”
“We have all night.”
“I know what will make me hard again in a second.” His trying to be helpful didn’t fool her.
“What?” she said, feeling his hand slide under her panties.
“Do that again.”
* * *
Lucky jerked awake, breathing heavily. He sat on the side of the bed, angry at himself for falling asleep. He had been so careful not to fall asleep next to Willa, but tonight, there had been a newfound confidence in her that had made her initiate their intimacy, and they had spent most of the night making love. Regardless, he had meant to only lie beside her long enough for her to fall asleep.
Standing, he went to his dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans. Unable to bear the thought of anything else on his body, he soundlessly left the bedroom. The wooden floor under his feet reminded him he was home and not back overseas, trying to figure out how to save Kale’s life.
He took a deep breath of air as soon as he stepped outside. Running a hand through his damp hair, he came to the realization he was going to have to take the medication he had been avoiding since he had been let out of the service. Willa was already worried, and he wasn’t going to have her concerned that him being unable to sleep with her was her fault.
“Lucky…”
Startled, he almost turned around at her voice.
“Go inside.” He clenched his fists at the unintentional harshness in his voice. “Please, go inside.” This time, he was successful in making his voice appear normal.
“Let me help you.”
Composing his expression, he turned his back to the sun just as it was beginning to rise in the sky.
Willa was standing five feet away, holding her hand out to him.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Willa. You’re not safe with me. Go—”
She took a step closer, not dropping her hand. “John 1:5 ‘The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.’”
“You didn’t know you were taking on a fucked-up mess when you married me.” He took a step back.
“You’re fighting a cruel war you can’t win, Lucky. You’re not responsible for Kale or any of those men’s deaths. You’re a hero.”
He grimaced. “I’m not a hero.”
“Yes, you are,” she insisted. “You left The Last Riders because you love me, and I’m asking you to go back to them for the same reason.”
“You would hate it there. I might be happier there, but you would be unhappy.”
“Romans 12:18. ‘If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.’ As long as we’re together, I don’t care where we live.” Her sincerity began to sink into the darkness that had been clouding his nightmares.
“You’re too tenderhearted. The men won’t be polite all the time. In fact, they’re usually assholes, and the women can be bitchy.”
“Proverbs 27:17. ‘As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.’ I’ll learn how to give as good as I get.”
“I would be the vice-president. There would be things that I do that go against the church’s beliefs.”
Matthew 22:21. ‘Render therefore unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s; and unto God the things that are God’s.’ I know that, even if you leave the church, God will dwell in our home,” she said with certainty.
Willa took another step forward, standing directly in front of him, still holding her hand out to him. Her love and faith shined clearly from her eyes as the sun glistened down on her at the beginning of a new day, a new life they were about to begin.
“You were meant to be a pastor’s wife,” he said achingly.
“I was meant to be your wife.” Her whispered vow released him from his last doubt.
Lucky reached out, taking her hand. Stepping forward, he grabbed on to the future that God and Willa both held for him.
Chapter 27
“Hi, Douglas, come in. I wasn’t expecting you.” Willa held the door open as the handyman entered.
“I wanted to stop by to go over the kitchen costs with you one more time before I took out the cabinets.”
“That’s fine. Lucky’s at the hospital visiting Angus. He’s doing much better. I stopped by at lunch today.”
“I know. He told me you stopped by, and Lucky was coming by this evening.”
“Hopefully, they’ll get his blood pressure down and release him tomorrow. Let’s go in the kitchen, and you can show me … You didn’t bring the spreadsheet?” She glanced over her shoulder curiously, looking at his empty hands.
“No…”
When they walked into the large church kitchen, Douglas came to a stop as Dustin turned around, and a moment’s frustra
tion crossed Douglas’s face.
“Don’t worry; Dustin won’t mind if we take a short break on our meeting. He’s stuffing his face with a new cupcake I’m working on.”
“I should have called first. I don’t want to interrupt—”
Willa waved away his concern. “Don’t be silly. Take a seat. I have a fresh pot of coffee, and you can give me your opinion on the cupcake.”
Douglas’s shoulders slumped as he gave in, taking a chair.
Willa introduced the two men while she poured Douglas’s coffee and picked him out the largest cupcake on the platter, placing it on a pretty saucer with a paper doily. Humming, she set them in front of him then sat down at the table next to him while Douglas stared at the cupcake and coffee making no move to touch either.
Scooting her chair closer to the table, she placed her elbow on the table, propping her cheek on her hand, wanting to see his reaction when he bit into the cupcake. He hesitated until he looked up and saw she was waiting expectantly.
“I’ve been working on tweaking a recipe I found in an old cookbook for two days.”
“It looks delicious.” He didn’t sound as if he thought it was going to be good.
Willa frowned then smiled when he took a large bite.
“It’s great. It’s even better than your chocolate lava.” He licked a dollop of frosting off his lip. “Do I taste bourbon?”
Willa nodded. “Did I use too much? I don’t drink, so I couldn’t taste-test.”
“You might cut back on it some,” he advised, taking a drink of his coffee.
“I told her she should use some more,” Dustin said, getting up to get another one.
“That’s your last one,” Willa threatened. “I don’t think you’ll be able to drive if you eat any more.”
Dustin sat down, already biting into another cupcake. “I can just see Knox’s face if he pulls me over, and I tell him I’ve been eating drunken cupcakes.”