“Fuck, man. Who cares about the laptop? Every business account is encrypted. They can’t steal shit.” I didn’t tell him they weren’t there to rob the place but to kill anyone they could to teach me a lesson. “Get to the safe room. Now.”
“No can do.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “They’re searching each level. I can’t understand them as they’re speaking Japanese, but I did overhear the word Mercer and Blois. That’s why I had to call you. Isn’t that where you are?”
I wanted to hurl the phone across the room and punch every book in this godforsaken library. “For fuck’s sake, they hacked my browser history.”
I groaned at the ceiling. Christ, I’d been so careless. When Jolfer passed on the radio call after we’d searched tirelessly for where Pim might’ve been taken—giving me a name and an address—I’d looked up Mercer, learned enough to know I hated him, then rushed out of there too fast to shut down the web history.
I hadn’t erased the search.
I hadn’t used a ghost mode to hide my online movements.
They had Mercer’s name.
They had his location.
Motherfucking hell.
Rushing from the library, I hobbled on my sprained ankle, breathing far too heavy for my broken ribs enjoyment.
My shoulder had a hole in it; my elbow didn’t work probably. I still had bumps and bruises and stitches. But none of that mattered now. Q didn’t matter. What he’d done didn’t matter.
The only thing that did was Pim was once again in danger.
Because of me.
And not only had I put her life at risk but I’d also put the entire Mercer household in the Chinmoku’s crosshairs. Once again, I’d put a family in the path of death.
I’d been selfish and idiotic and sloppy.
My body had better heal itself in the next ten minutes because if I couldn’t fight—if I fought as bad as I had when I’d tried to murder Mercer—then we were in huge fucking trouble.
If the Chinmoku came here, then only one outcome was possible. No opportunity of losing. No attempt at a truce. I’d have to win. I’d have to kill all of them.
And I’ll fail.
My heart filled with sharp rocks as I glanced at Pim. Her face tight, her fingers looped together as if granting false comfort that everything would be all right.
Goddammit, I can’t fail.
I couldn’t because if I did...she’d die.
They’ll all die.
And it would be my fucking fault just like my brother and father.
I can’t...I can’t go through that again.
A plan unfurled in my head, bright as lightning and deafening as thunder. All this time, I thought I had a choice on how this fight would end. I thought I would be the victor, when really, I’d condemned myself the moment I fell in love.
There was only one outcome, and I couldn’t outrun it anymore.
My mother was right.
Jolfer whispered, cutting through my destroying conclusion. “Prest, they’re leaving. Someone is shouting. I’m hidden in a laundry chute, and there’s some sort of chant. They’re getting amped up.”
I knew that chant.
I knew the incantation before battle.
“Laugh at our prey’s pleas, feast on our defeated cries, no one survives while the Chinmoku thrives.”
That part of my life had been brief, but fuck, it’d imprinted itself onto my soul in more ways than one.
“Thanks for the warning, Jolfer.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Stay safe.”
Hanging up, I cast my eyes over the people standing in the foyer. The Mercers who I didn’t know, didn’t trust, didn’t like, but were now my priority. My responsibility. My burden.
I couldn’t look at Pim.
I couldn’t let her see the resolution in my eyes or the goodbye I was about to utter.
Clenching my fists, I braced for yet another war, already knowing how it would end. “They’re coming.”
Chapter Eighteen
______________________________
Pimlico
“THEY’RE COMING?” MY eyes popped wide as instant terror iced my veins. “What do you mean they’re coming?”
Elder tossed the unwanted cell phone at Selix and marched/hopped directly toward me. The torment swirling in his gaze shuttered, blocking me from reading him. His jaw tight and unyielding, a master of the situation with all the answers and no uncertainty. “I mean, I need to get you out of here. Right now.”
“But—”
A black blur charged in a fury, bowling into Elder, wrapping furious fingers around his throat and slamming him against the wall. Elder groaned as his body suffered yet another attack.
Q panted in rage, his hand white from squeezing as he repeated my question with venom. “What the fuck do you mean they’re coming?” He lost all hint of being generous and friendly, showing just how nightmarish he could be. The blackness on his face reminded me all too well of the men I’d been sold to and the life I’d once led.
I wanted to save Elder, but I couldn’t stop the self-preservation in my blood. Falling backward, I bumped into Tess who grabbed my hand. “It’s okay. He’ll calm down in a—”
Q roared, shaking Elder who chopped both his hands on the grip Q had around his throat. With a twist and skill gained from years of fighting, he dislodged Q and stood braced like a predator about to attack. “They looked up my browser history. The last thing I searched was you, asshole.”
“And you didn’t fucking wipe it? You didn’t encrypt it?” Q dragged hands through his hair. “For fuck’s sake!” He launched into a tirade of French, growing louder and harsher with every syllable.
Tess stayed beside me, knowing not to interrupt anything—human or beast—when their temper was this unravelled.
“I can’t believe this!” Q snarled, switching back to thick English. “I can’t believe you’ve brought danger to my family. To my wife. To my son! How the fuck could you?” His eyes turned wild, nostrils wide, skin white with fury. “I failed my esclave once. I let her be taken because I was a goddamn idiot and didn’t cover my tracks. And now you’ve gone and done the same fucking thing!”
He whirled on Elder, slamming his arm against Elder’s collarbone, pinning him once again to the wall. “This is your fault. This is your mess. Get the fuck out.” Grabbing Elder by the scruff of his t-shirt, he yanked him toward the door. “Get out. Now!”
Elder tripped and whatever decorum he clung to shattered as his ankle bent and pain drenched. He matched Q’s anger lash for lash. Tearing Q’s hold off him, he shoved the Frenchman and stalked him. “Don’t lay another fucking finger on me.” He pointed at me. “She is the only thing I care about, and believe me, we’re leaving. I’m not staying here for those assassins to take her from me.”
“So you’d let those assassins take my family instead?” Q laughed bitterly. “What a fucking cunt.” Another stream of French fell from his lips as Tess stepped toward him and laid a gentle hand on his heaving chest.
He breathed hard as Tess murmured things in French. Her gaze fixed on her husband, imploring him to calm down and listen. Slowly, breath by breath, Q blinked away his bloodlust and focused on whatever his wife said.
Elder spied his opportunity. “Come on, Pim. We’re leaving.”
I froze to the spot.
I’d only ever known Elder to be selfless and hold family—any family—in the highest regard. The fact he wanted to leave Q and Tess alone to face the Chinmoku, knowing how deadly and ruthless there were with no support——wasn’t right.
It went against everything I knew about Elder.
It made me wonder if he wasn’t as pure hearted as I thought.
Shaking my head, I crossed my arms, rubbing at a sudden awful chill. “We can’t go.”
Elder hobbled toward me and grabbed my bicep. “We can, and we are.” Dragging me toward the front door, he muttered, “The sooner we leave, the sooner we can intercept the Chinmoku.”
My he
art kick-started again with a flash of understanding. He wanted to leave, not to avoid whatever battle was about to happen, but do his damnedest to prevent it from happening here—where innocent babies and a marriage that had no right to be caught up in Elder’s ancient war existed.
I fell into even deeper love with him, willingly moving toward the exit.
Selix pulled his gun from his waistband, clicking open the chamber and counting whatever bullets he’d stocked it with. “If we’re going to do this, we need more ammo, Prest.” His jaw clenched. “I’m with you one hundred percent, but we don’t know how many there will be and—” He looked Elder up and down. “You’re not exactly a weapon yourself right now.”
Elder brushed past him, jumping on one leg down the steps to the driveway. “I know how many there will be. Thirteen.”
“How do you know that?” Selix trailed after us.
“I know because that’s how many the leader takes with him to exterminate those he’s lost patience with.” Elder smiled tightly. “Men like me.” His fingers bit into my arm as he guided me across the lawn to the awaiting helicopter.
Selix’s eyebrow rose. “If we’re intercepting them, why are we going in the helicopter? It will be too hard to spot them. We won’t be able to land. We’ll be stuck shooting the ten measly bullets I have from the air.”
Elder huffed as his body dared remind him it wasn’t up for a trek so soon after being injured. “You’re going in the helicopter with Pim. You’re going to take her somewhere safe.”
“Oh, hell fucking no.” Selix slammed to a stop. “I suppose you think you’re going to fight them on your own, right?”
Elder didn’t answer, but the set of his body and steely glint in his ebony eyes said that was exactly his plan.
What?
No, no, no...
Selix laughed coldly, arguing before I could. “Be realistic, Prest. They’ll kill you the moment you find them.”
“Exactly,” I managed to puff. “It would be suicide—”
Elder’s fingers dug deeper into my arm, silencing me. “I know.”
“Then you can’t be serious—” Selix and I asked together with matching threads of horrified disbelief.
“I’m deadly serious.” Looking at me, Elder’s face melted with utmost love. “I’m so sorry, Pim.”
Tears instantly sprang to my eyes. Tears fashioned from understanding that he carried far too much responsibility and guilt and shame and knowledge that he’d caused this and it was time he finished it—even if it meant ending it in the way he’d tried to avoid all these years.
By dying.
“No, El.” I couldn’t stop my wet sob. “You can’t.”
“I can if it means you stay safe.” He stopped, dragging me close and cupping my cheek. “I love you, Tasmin, but I’m not being fair to you by dragging you around the world hoping to stay away from these men. These men I used to work for.” He bent his head and kissed me ever so softly. “These men I invited into my life and haven’t been brave enough to face ever since. This is my cross. Not yours.”
I cried out at the blistering, excruciating pain that this might be the last time I ever kissed him, the last time I ever saw him.
No!
He can’t do this.
Clinging to him, I cried, “This can’t happen. I won’t let it happen. We’ll come with you. We’ll help you fight.” Even as I promised such things, I knew I would never be able to keep them. I was utterly useless when it came to war. I would be nothing more than a hindrance, a shackle.
If only he was healed. If only he was capable of taking on thirteen highly-skilled fighters and winning.
“Please, Elder.” I clutched his t-shirt, not caring if I prodded bruises or poked stitches. “You can’t do this. You can’t. Let us come with you.”
If only to let us die together.
Dying beside him was better than dying decades from now after a lifetime without him.
He chuckled sadly, kissing my forehead. “I have no doubt you would fight any manner of evil for me, Pim, but I can’t let you do that. I love you too much.” Kissing my mouth, he pushed me toward Selix. “Go. Before it’s too late.”
Selix crossed his arms, neither grabbing me nor fighting Elder’s stupidity on martyrdom. “Don’t do this, Prest. Like Pim said, it’s suicide.”
Elder’s eyes flashed. “If my death means they’ll leave the people I love the fuck alone, then is it really suicide?” He breathed hard, punching himself in the chest with passion. “I’ve been living a lie, telling myself I would do anything to avenge Kade and Otōsan, when really, I’ve been running this entire time. All I need to do is let them kill me. Then this—this horrible, shitty mess—is over. I should’ve done it fucking years ago. I see that now.”
I bent over, hugging myself as another crash of sorrow and frustration battered.
How could he?
How could he talk about dying as if it was his choice whether to extinguish his life?
Don’t I have a say?
Don’t I have a right to disagree?
He shouldn’t have to die. None of this was normal or acceptable. There had to be another way.
Anger devoured my panic, snapping my back straight and balling my hands. “I won’t let you do this.” I wanted to jump on him and tell him what an idiot he was being. I wanted to waste every breath and pay every tear if it meant I could somehow change his mind. “You can’t.”
Even as I snarled in his face, I knew it was pointless.
I knew Elder.
I knew he was stubborn.
And I knew he was proud and loyal and old fashioned in his role as protector. My and Selix’s arguments would fall on already decided ears. Elder wouldn’t listen. He’d stay steadfast to the plan he believed benefited everyone.
“Elder...please, please don’t do this,” I begged quietly, relinquishing my anger as quickly as it’d arrived.
He flinched, swaying toward me as if every molecule and heartbeat demanded he obey and grab me. His fingers fluttered in my direction, his eyes turned glossy with bone-deep need, and he bit his lip so hard he drew blood, fighting the connection, the link, the emotional rope binding us together.
“I...I’m sorry.” With balled hands and stiff joints, he backed away from me instead of succumbing to the blistering bond between us. Stepping back, he drifted toward the black Town Car Q had pulled up in when I’d first seen him holding Lino. “I’m so sorry, little mouse.”
“No!” I dug my toes into the grass to run after him, to glue myself to his side if need be, but a booming French voice silenced the night-time chorus of cicadas, freezing all of us. “Arrêtez. Stop. For fuck’s sake.”
Leaping down the front steps, Q kept his hands balled as Tess trailed after him, her blonde hair the only thing light in the black night.
Stalking to Elder, he growled. “I hate you for this. I hate that you’ve brought death and decay straight to my door. I hate that you’ve fucking redeemed yourself by proving you’d rather them kill you than put anyone else at risk. Fuck.” He sighed, shaking his head as if he couldn’t quite believe the offer he was about to extend. “I hate you, Prest, but I can’t let you die for your stupidity. I made my own mistakes by shooting you and bringing you here. My wife has kindly reminded me that I played a role in this disaster, and I can’t in good conscience kick you out when you most need my help.”
“I don’t need your help, Mercer.” Elder snorted. “This was never about you. This is about me protecting what I love.”
“Yes, and this is me protecting those who deserve to be protected.” Glancing at Selix then back at Elder, Q grunted, “Hatred can blind us, but for now, I can see. And the only scenario I can see is the one where you stay.”
“If I stay, they’ll—”
“They’ll come.” Q shoved his hands in his pockets. “You’ll stay. They’ll come. But that’s the last thing they’ll ever do. Because together, we’ll fucking kill them and be done with this.” He smirked.
“At least then I can go back to hating you with a clear conscience.”
Selix gaped as I wiped away my tears.
There had been another way. Elder didn’t have to die, but the stubborn ass didn’t move or accept the truce. He studied Q as if he hadn’t spoken English—as if his offer was riddled with booby-traps.
And perhaps it was, but for now...Elder doesn’t have to die.
Q sniffed and muttered a French slur. Yanking his hand from his pocket, he held it out spear-straight and sharp, poised for Elder to accept. “What are you waiting for, Prest? We have a fucking war to win.”
Chapter Nineteen
______________________________
Elder
WHAT COULD I say that wasn’t ungrateful, suicidal, or plain melodramatic?
Thanks, your help isn’t wanted?
Your offer to save me from dying isn’t needed?
I don’t require your meddling so just fuck off?
I hated him but I couldn’t deny I was blown away by his olive branch. First, he’d shot me, left me for dead, and kidnapped my woman, then he’d prevented me from handing over my life in trade for Pim’s.
What sort of bastard did that?
One with a god complex?
One with morals so black and white he never deviated?
Whatever the reason, he’d fucked me over because Pim barrelled into my arms, kissing my cheek, wincing in sympathy as I groaned in pain from my stupid wound-filled body.
Mercer never took his eyes off me; his hand outstretched unwavering, waiting.
We stood toe to toe, glaring at each other. I’d fought this man—I’d shed his blood like he’d shed mine, and now, as he waited to strike a bargain with death, I looked past the aloof arrogance and saw something I didn’t want to see.
He was me.
We were two men who’d fucked up a lot, but when it came to protecting those we cared about, nothing and no one would get in our way.
In this instance, I was the one in the way. I was the reason Pim and the Mercer family were in danger. And instead of casting me out and allowing me to die so no one else had to, he offered me a life-line of resources while being almost cavalier in his delivery, as if such a generous gift was nothing more than an invite to stay for dinner.