homeless people covered in newspapers on park benches, etc.
Note: the following monologue may be freely accompanied by appropriate supporting imagery, as in the style of a documentary. It runs the risk of dreadful boredom otherwise. It just can't be abridged, though, probably.
JAKE (V.O.)
Some argue that we shouldn't expend our resources on astronomy while there are so many other urgent, earthbound problems which need to be solved such as hunger, poverty, and war. Certainly, we should do everything we can to ease earthbound suffering. It is an unrealistic implication in that argument, however, that the exploration of scientific curiosity is something we can safely ignore. The fruits of countless explorations of scientific curiosity are every modern economic, health, convenience and other benefit enjoyed by advanced civilization. You simply cannot realistically cut and paste out some segment of scientific inquiry and suppose that the whole will not suffer. History irrefutably shows this, where facts of scientific inquiry intertwine with the very salvation of mankind in ways that no one could expect. The fact is that Albert Einstein's general and special theories of relativity were conceived of Einstein's idle curiosity, and he had no idea that his formula E=mc^2 would save the world, which it verily did. It led to the defeat of one of the most horrendously evil armies this planet has ever had the diabolic misfortune of facing. I will refer you simply to any plausible article you may find about the war crimes of the Japanese Imperial Army during World War II. May God have mercy on the innocents of this army, because it was their training and duty to act as the barons of the floodgates of hell, in wrath and sin without measure. I cannot here utter the unmeasured atrocities poured out by the Japanese Army on hundreds of thousands of civilians, it is simply too harrowing. They had to be stopped, and the least risky way to stop them was to prevent the risk of destroying tens of millions of lives by destroying a fraction of so many lives, if so horribly and dramatically that no barbaric force could ignore it. The Allies warned the Japanese Imperial Army of unmeasured destruction to come unless they surrendered. Who is the boss of your nation? The force that is willing and capable to destroy your nation entire unless you cease your devilry is the boss. Even after the Allies dropped the first atomic bomb, and destroyed an entire densely populated city in one brutal stroke, still the Japanese Emperor and his Imperial Army continued their machinations of war. Perhaps they could not believe that Dad would actually and truly take away all their toys, their subjects, unless they voluntarily handed over their subjection. The second atomic bomb drove the point home. Dad meant it. He would not even count to ten. You have already lost everything, so you may as well just curl up, confess that you are not a God, and throw yourself from a building, as the Japanese Emperor finally did. Had the Allied Powers failed in World War II, the world would have become enslaved by incredibly evil political powers. Einstein's theories directly led to the development of the nuclear weaponry which bore the best risk of destroying the least lives, to end the war. Einstein's theories were thrust into the limelight by an astrophotographer, an astronomer who photographed the bending of distant starlight around the corona of the Sun during a total solar eclipse. Had not that astrophotographer sated his curiosity, the world may not have realized what Einstein was on to, and the Allies may not have contrived any means of stopping untold world horrors and enslavement--all of this flowing from the fact that Einstein never failed to explore his curiosity, and neither did his astronomer peers. It is that simple. You CANNOT reasonably cut gee-wow curiosity out of the equation of solving earthbound problems. Gee-wow curiosity is a crucial ingredient of our salvation. If we lose it, we die. The end. The enslavement and possible destruction of our species would comprise a rather more chronic problem than what that specious argument pulls focus away from, no? Yes, please. Let's try to save the world indeed--and let's remember that a part of it is keeping our child-like curiosity and wonder. Even if it costs ten billion dollars to do so. We have this chance--perhaps this one chance--to answer, with hard proof, one of the oldest questions.
EXT. CAR LOT--DAY
A CAR SALESMAN, white, thirty, well-built and tall, in a suit, smarmy, all-but-outright slobbery, and belligerent, traps two cute, white folks, A MAN and A WOMAN, both white, respectively twenty-one and twenty two--trapped. Trapped by the salesman's belligerent interrogation disguised as charity.
SALESMAN
This deal only lasts 'till the end of today!
MAN
CODSWALLOP! POPPYCOCK! BLATHERSKEIT! RUBBISH! REFUSE! BALOGNA!
The salesman, shocked, stands stupidly.
MAN
Let's get out of here.
(to salesman)
We'll be back tomorrow, and you can give us half of your commission for lying.
They walk away. The salesman stands in a stupor. He looks almost panicked.
JAKE (V.O.)
Yes, that was the manipulative salesman urging you to spend now, because this deal "ends today." You are aware, O Astronomers, that all evidence indicates that in a few billion years, the Sun will grow so large that it will destroy the Earth? I have no idea whether God intends for the Sun to consume our planet, and whether he expects us to wake up and get the hell off this rock by then.
A SALES MANAGER, of the same description, walks up to the salesman, and chides him with a shake of his head and wag of his finger.
SALESMAN
I am so done with this. I'm finding a sales manager who doesn't train me to lie. And it's too damned hot in this suit. I quit.
The salesman walks away, and the sales manager stands with the same stupid, shocked expression the salesman had.
JAKE (V.O.)
I also wonder whether God would ever say "Get the hell off that rock!" I secretly hope that he would. Except that now it's not a secret. I kinda think he expects us to get off this rock, if there's any chance that we can. I hope we do. But we won't even be able to consider it unless we look for another place to live. So let's start looking. Ten billion dollars is nothing for a photograph of our potential new home in space.
INT. THE INTERNET--NIGHT
We see the crowd-funding web page where Jake's campaign is posted. It has a ticker which reads "USD EQUIVALENT GLOBAL DONATIONS: $0.00."
The total displayed on the ticker rapidly and continuously increases. When it reaches $17,487,527,643.23 we--
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL LIVING ROOM--NIGHT
This is a Caribbean five star luxury hotel, with an ocean-side themed and colored decor, a kitchen, a master suite, a kids' bedroom, a game room, and a living room with an entertainment center and large bay windows that overlook a shore. Vicki sits in a love seat in the living room, with a laptop PC, upon which she watches the donation ticker at the crowd-funding web site. She is mesmerized.
INT. HOTEL KIDS' BEDROOM--NIGHT
Heidi and Dominick are asleep in different beds. Jake kisses Dominick good-night on the cheek, then Heidi.
INT. HOTEL LIVING ROOM--NIGHT
Jake exits the kids' room to the living room, quietly closes the kids' door, and crosses and sits with Vicki in the love seat. She watches the crowd-funding web site ticker on a laptop PC. She is mesmerized. He examines the web site, shakes his head in disbelief, and laughs.
VICKI
I just wish you were doing more laughing on the way to the bank. If we had even a smidgen of a percent of these funds--
JAKE
Really? Missing that? I expected nothing you know--I hate that I'm repeating this--and I was glad that Mister Wealthy, uh, sorry, Mister Thoreau--it was super nice of him to--
VICKI
Right. So what will we do with the rest of his "thank you" donation to us?
JAKE
Uh, what rest? We don't even need to keep track. We can retire if we're prudent.
His cell phone rings. He stands up and gets it out of his pocket, looks at the caller ID, and goes bug-eyed.
JAKE
Well, speak of the Devil--I mean--
VICKI
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Speak of the Saint?
Jake answers his phone and nods at Vicki. He paces the room nervously.
JAKE
Mr. Thoreau, glad to hear from you again! What can I do for you?
Jake listens, his jaw drops, and he stammers, turns pale and weak, almost faints, and sits down in an armchair to recover.
Vicki leans forward and tries to listen to Mr. Thoreau.
JAKE
Well, I, I am as surprised as when you yourself showed such amazing charity...yes, only as amazing as--right, yes. I, uh, thank you! I, how do I thank them? What?...Oh, right, their email.
He laughs.
JAKE
Seriously, you think they'll be happy with just an email? Wouldn't it be more polite to--
He is cut off by Mr. Thoreau. He laughs.
JAKE
(to Vicki)
He says they don't care what I do, they'd be happy if I sent them a lump of coal. The ESA. They had a meeting and deliberated, and authorized a one-time thank-you donation to me of three percent of the gifts to date.
Vicki's eyes roll in her head, and she faints and collapses onto the couch. Jake drops his phone on the armchair and rushes to her. She rolls towards the floor, and he stoops and catches her. He sets her gently on the floor. He puts his ear to her mouth, hears her breath, then presses two