Cataldo's head which is opposite Jake.
VALENTI
NO!
Cataldo dies, and his corpse falls to the side and collapses behind the hedges. His corpse is completely hidden.
Valenti looks at Jake, who faces Cataldo. Jake's arm and silenced hand pistol are aimed where Cataldo's head was when he stood. Jake switches the safety on, then lowers his arm.
JAKE
Um, thank you? I just saved your life.
VALENTI
I saved yours. We're--
JAKE
I find that when we track who owes who what for what reasons, there is no end to the debt that goes around. We are all debtors, as it is said in my religion. I don't believe I just said that.
VALENTI
What religion? Wait, you're a--
JAKE
Why did you want him to live?
Valenti pauses and considers.
VALENTI
I want him to know.
Jake raises his eyebrows, and waits for further explanation.
VALENTI
I've had an awakening! My new life is so much better than the Mafia! They have no idea!
JAKE
Uh, and you were expecting him to listen to you? I also find--okay I don't "find", but--seriously, when does a killer stop to listen to what his victims have to say? He wasn't going to. Ugh. I hate this conversation. It doesn't matter now I stopped him.
VALENTI
You never know who will listen. It was actually one of your missionaries who got me thinking. I was in the thick of the Mafia and heard them preaching on a soapbox, literally a soapbox, on a street corner. They talked about--
JAKE
Wait, wait, one of "my" missionaries?
VALENTI
Yeah, you, the Mormons.
Jake laughs.
JAKE
How did you know I'm a Mormon?
VALENTI
I didn't, but you just told me.
Valenti winks.
Jake laughs.
VALENTI
So, you are! You have that glow!
Jake drops the hand pistol and covers his face with his hands.
JAKE
Every good person has that glow. Even people who have no idea how wicked the things they do have it, because the Atonement--
He cuts himself off.
JAKE
Ugh.
VALENTI
Brother, were you just preaching? From you, I would take the lessons!
JAKE
UGH.
Jake stoops down, takes one hand off his face, picks up the hand pistol with it, and extends his hand with the pistol barrel perpendicular to his palm, to offer it back to Valenti. He adjusts his other hand to cover more of his face.
Valenti stares at him for a moment, then laughs.
Jake realizes how stupid he looks, and also laughs.
VALENTI
Keep it. Go protect your family.
Eager to exit, Jake turns on his heel, removes his hand from his face, and marches away. After six paces he stops and thinks. He turns around to face Valenti, who watches him with great anticipation. Compassion overcomes Jake, and he and Valenti are both surprised by it.
JAKE
You really mean it.
VALENTI
What? The lessons? Yes.
Jake stammers.
JAKE
Right. Yes. I'm supposed to be prepared for this. Bad Boy Scout.
VALENTI
Ouch!
JAKE
Uh, yeah, hard on myself I guess--
He shakes off his rumination and looks again at Valenti.
JAKE
You're probably right.
VALENTI
About what?
JAKE
He might not ever know. He's in a whole different world, but you came out of that world.
He stares down Valenti, who nods. Jake combs his chin with his fingers, in thought. He comes to a decision and takes his cell phone out of his pocket. He arranges a text message on it.
JAKE
I've decided to buy you off even though you weren't a threat.
VALENTI
No, like I said, we're even--
JAKE
Debtors. Ask the missionaries about the scripture that says we're all debtors.
Jake finishes the text and sends it. He keeps an eye on his phone as he converses with Valenti.
JAKE
Wild guess here, forgive me if I'm wrong, but I'm thinking the whole checkered lawn, picket fence, wife and kids thing--I'm sorry I should just ask--
VALENTI
Nope, never had any of that.
JAKE
Okay. Oh! If my enemies are still onto me even though I think they're not, you're in danger anyway for protecting me. So here's what we do.
Valenti laughs.
JAKE
What?
VALENTI
I can't wait to tell my friends about the Mormon who evaded hit men by sending them prostitutes!
JAKE
Ugh. I can hear it. How many Mormons does it take to stop a hired gunman? One, if he has enough money to send them a prostitute.
Valenti laughs hard.
VALENTI
Good one! Definitely a keeper.
JAKE
Yeah, I thought it might amuse you. Not my kind of joke I guess. Anyway--
He sees a text message arrive on his phone.
JAKE
Right. That's ready. One of my spy friends who just finished off that thug--
Valenti lights up.
VALENTI
One of the hot ladies?
JAKE
Yes, if you will.
VALENTI
Oh, I will indeed--
JAKE
No, no funny business now. She's going to help you escape somewhere--
VALENTI
Oh pshaw, I can make my own escape trail--
He shakes off the thought.
VALENTI
I mean, um, okay?
JAKE
I'll pay for all of this. I'm buying a month's time with her for you, but as I said, no funny business.
Valenti is crestfallen.
JAKE
Instead, you just try to charm her, and if you like, you can take the missionary lessons. Discussions, we call them. You can invite her to the discussions, too. Decide what you want, but I put my money on her converting first. Women usually do. Brighter, more intuitive, less dimmed by the brutalities of bad culture we impose on boys and men.
VALENTI
Huh?
JAKE
Maybe you're an exception to that. Anyway, if she joins, you join, and in a few months I hope I can attend your wedding. If she says yes. Which she will.
VALENTI
How do you--
JAKE
I don't. Just a hunch. I bet she will. Then maybe you can find a checkered lawn somewhere, too. I pay for everything. Deal?
Valenti is dumbstruck, then overcome. He finally manages to mouth the words "Gratsi, gratsi."
JAKE
Okay. She's on her way. Arrivederci.
Jake turns and walks toward his family further down the beach.
FADE OUT:
TO BE CONTINUED...
THE END OF THIS EBOOK
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