Much too soon, he held her away from him and looked at her as though trying to read her mind. “Come on,” he said softly. “Edith brought us tea, so sit down and tell me what you’ve been doing.” She didn’t move and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her.
But he didn’t kiss her. “You look exhausted.”
“Thanks,” she said in sarcasm. “Looks like my hour with a curling iron was wasted.”
Laughing, Jamie held out a chair for her. “Are you kidding? The cousins are raving about you. They think you’re beautiful and smart and that you have magic hands.”
Hallie poured the tea. “Your brother hates me.” When Jamie said nothing, she glared at him. “You’re supposed to say that he doesn’t hate me, that he’s…I don’t know, cautious or something.”
“It’s more like he’s protecting you from me.”
“Would you please reassure him that I’m not really planning to kidnap you or seduce you or whatever just to get the family jet?”
Jamie nearly choked on one of the anise seed cookies he liked so much. “Is that what you told him you were going to do?”
Hallie shrugged, then looked at Jamie. “More or less. Too much?”
“For him, yeah.” Jamie was still laughing.
“Think he’ll put me in handcuffs?”
“What an enticing vision,” he said softly and gave her a look of such heat that the hair on her neck seemed to stand up straight.
“Jamie…” she whispered and leaned toward him.
Instantly, he moved away and his face changed. “So tell me who you’ve met.”
It took Hallie a moment to calm herself. Okay, she’d missed him, but that was her problem, not his. He was her patient and maybe, possibly, they could become friends, but that’s all there ever would be. “Your uncle Kit.” She was pleased to see the surprise on Jamie’s face.
“I didn’t even know he was here.”
“That’s because you ran away somewhere. If you’d stayed here and let me treat you, you’d have seen all your male relatives. Tell me, how does your family reproduce without any women?”
The smile came back to him. “The women are drowning in wedding activities: cakes and flowers and who sits where and—I don’t know. I told Aunt Jilly to come find you. I think it’s all too much for her.”
“Yes, do send her to me.”
Reaching out, he smoothed a strand of hair out of her eyes. “I still want to know why you were in bed with me.”
She thought quickly. “I heard a noise and when I went to see about it, you pulled me into bed with you. You’d worked me so hard that day I was too tired to get up.” She stared at him, waiting for him to question her more.
Jamie took his time before he spoke again, seeming to decide whether or not to pursue that. “When did you see Uncle Kit?”
“Two A.M., in here. We had tea together. Seems he’s been dreaming about the Tea Ladies.”
Jamie’s eyes widened. “Yeah? About what?”
Hallie opened her mouth to tell him all, but didn’t. “I’m not telling you anything until I see you on the table. I want to look at your knee, and you’re slumping to one side again. And—” She narrowed her eyes at him. “And I want your clothes off.”
Immediately, he stiffened in the chair. “You haven’t had your hands on enough men in the last few days?”
“Yes, I have, and they’re all flawless specimens of mankind. I’ve never before seen such perfection. They don’t need anything from me.”
“But I do?” Jamie had his head down and his voice was low.
She put her hand over his. “Yes, you do. You carry a lot of tension in your body and I could help you.”
Jamie stood up so abruptly that his chair fell backward and hit the floor hard. When the sound echoed in the room, he grabbed a crutch in a way that looked like he was about to defend the two of them from something.
Hallie stared at him in astonishment. “Jamie! Are you all right?”
It was a while before he seemed to know where he was. He picked up the other crutch and leaned on them. When he looked at Hallie, his expression was cold, distant. “I don’t need help. I don’t need pity. I don’t need—” Breaking off, he quickly went across the room and left, the double doors slamming behind him.
Hallie was stunned. She had no idea what had just happened. What had made him so angry? Usually when she asked if he needed help he smiled and said yes. In fact, he pretended to need her help with his crutches, with walks around the garden, to go up and down the stairs. So why was he different now?
Todd! she thought. He was what had changed everything. As soon as he’d arrived, he’d scooped up his brother and taken him away. Was he jealous? Did Todd resent that Hallie and Jamie were…what? Becoming friends? But didn’t Jamie say that his brother was the reason he was here?
Hallie sat at the table, feeling stunned. She didn’t know what was going on. When she reached for the teapot, her hands were shaking, but then the tea was icy cold. “It’s the way I feel,” she whispered. She put her face in her hands and for a moment she let herself shed tears.
She looked about the pretty room. “I don’t know if there are ghosts here, but I’d certainly like some help right now. Everything in my life is changing and I don’t know if it’s for good or bad. I like this man Jamie a lot. I tell myself he’s not for me, but then I see him and…I don’t know, I’m drawn to him.”
She paused, feeling silly for talking to nonexistent people, but she couldn’t seem to stop. “Dr. Huntley said that only people who have not met their True Loves can see you. Since I can’t, I guess I have met him. He’s Braden, of course. The man at the top of the heap. Incomparable and perfect.”
There was only silence. But saying her feelings out loud had made her feel better. She took a few deep breaths, then stood up. As she glanced at the cold teapot and the uneaten food, she knew she should clean up, but she didn’t. She just wanted to lie in a tub of very hot water and think about nothing at all.
When she went through the door into the kitchen, Raine was there. His face lit up when he saw her, and she couldn’t help thinking how simple it would be if she turned her attention to him. Raine was pleasant company, gorgeous, etc.
But all she did was give him a weak smile and wish he’d go away.
He understood. “I’ll clear everyone out,” he said. “Rest. You’ve done a lot today.”
“Thank you,” she said and by the time she got upstairs she could feel the emptiness of the house.
She filled the tub with water as hot as she could stand and stayed in it until it was cold. While in there, she reached a decision. She would forget the personal aspect of her relationship with Jamie and concentrate entirely on the professional one. She’d been hired by his family to rehabilitate his injured knee and that’s what she was going to do.
Kit had said, “My family isn’t for cowards,” but she was being a coward. She was letting a bunch of very charming men distract her from her purpose of making Jamie better. And the worst of these distracting offenders was Todd.
As she dried off and put on her pajamas, she made a vow that tomorrow she was going to do whatever was necessary to get to work on Jamie. Neither his quick temper nor his brother’s grouchiness nor the delightful interference of all his cousins was going to keep her from her goal.
By the time she got into bed, she felt much better—except for the loneliness of the empty house. Why did it seem so small when Jamie was there and so big when he wasn’t?
Think professional! she thought as she snuggled down and went to sleep. But as always, she awoke at two A.M. and before she thought, she started to get out of bed. Then she seemed to see and hear the swish of a silk skirt, and as a great calm came over her, she lay back down.
When she awoke again, she looked at the clock and saw that it was almost six A.M. Usually, she would have gone back to sleep, but she was wide awake. “Jamie!” she said and got out of bed.
He worked out at this ti
me so maybe he was in the gym now. She practically ran to the bathroom, hopped about on one foot as she put on underwear, then shorts, a shirt, and sandals. As she hurried down the stairs, she was tying her hair back in a ponytail.
She ran out the back door, across the dew-covered grass, and the first person she saw was Todd. He was outside the gym, wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt, and he was towel-drying his hair. He looked as though he’d just stepped out of the shower.
When he saw Hallie, his eyes widened, and he gave a furtive glance at the outdoor shower.
It didn’t take much for Hallie to put it all together. Jamie and Todd had already finished their daily workout, Todd had showered, and now Jamie was in there.
Hallie headed toward the shower. She didn’t know what she intended to do, but she was going to stop this nonsense right now.
Todd put his big body in front of her. “My brother wants privacy,” he said in what could only be described as a growl.
She glared up at him. “Yeah? Well, I want to do my job! Move.”
He was a big man and he stayed where he was. He was as determined to not let her pass as she was to get around him. They glared at each other, neither of them backing down.
It was Jamie who solved the problem. He threw back the wooden door and stepped onto the stone pavement. A towel was wrapped around his waist and the brace covered his right leg, but the rest of him was bare.
At last, Hallie saw what he’d been keeping secret. His body from the waist up to his shoulders, as well as his left leg, was a mass of scars. There were gashes and dents, places that had skin grafts. It looked as though he had been flayed with metal claws, his skin torn off in rows, then sewn back on.
At her first sight of the mutilation of what had once been a beautiful body, Hallie thought she might faint, or cry, or throw up. Or all of them.
Jamie was drying himself and she was hidden behind Todd, so he didn’t know she was there.
“I’ll take you back to the house,” Todd said, his voice barely a whisper.
She looked at him and what she saw there made her want to slap him. There was a sneer of disgust on his face. He was assuming that Hallie would now want to run away. She didn’t say anything, just quickly stepped around him and went to Jamie.
When he saw her, his face drained of color. For a moment his eyes dared her to say anything, but then he straightened and stared ahead at nothing.
As he stood at attention, she walked around him and looked at his wounds. Most were skin-deep, but some went down to the muscles. She couldn’t imagine his pain during the injuries, the subsequent healing, and the rebuilding of his body.
When she got back to his front, he was still looking over her head. He seemed to be waiting for her to make the first move, but the emotion that was building inside her was overtaking her sympathy. She was remembering all the tricks and half-lies that had been played by him to cover what she was now seeing.
Reaching out, she put a single fingertip at the end of one long scar that ran from his shoulder to his stomach. “Soldier?” she asked.
“Yes.” He didn’t look at her.
A movement caught her eye. Adam, Ian, and Raine were coming through the gate. They had helped Jamie in his lies.
“You have one hour to get off my property,” she said as she started toward the house. Todd was there, but she didn’t look at him. She was walking fast, her steps full of the rage she was feeling.
Jamie caught her arm. “What do you mean?”
Hallie stopped but didn’t look at him. “You heard me. Go away. I never want to see any of you again.”
“I understand,” he said. “I disgust you.”
She turned back to him. “Don’t speak to me in that tone! You have insulted me—insulted my professional abilities. You have humiliated me.” She glared at him. “You have betrayed me.” She started walking again.
He stepped in front of her, blocking her. “What are you talking about? How have I betrayed you?”
His scarred chest was directly in front of her. “What did you think would happen if I saw you? Saw this?”
“That you’d feel sorry for me.” His voice was soft.
“Right. As I said, you have insulted my entire profession.” She tried to step around him, but he wouldn’t let her pass. She halted, her arms folded over her chest, but she wouldn’t look at him.
“Hallie, please, I just didn’t want you to…to…”
“To what? To be able to help you? Did you think I was one of those bimbos you meet when you’re jetting around the world? But wait! That’s a lie too, isn’t it? You wanted me to think you were some rich playboy who took up space on the earth. You hid the fact that you are a soldier! Not knowing the cause of your physical problems has hindered me greatly.”
She turned back to look at the four men standing to one side and watching them. They all seemed to be astonished by her reaction. “All of you helped him conceal this from me,” Hallie said, so angry she could barely speak. “You gave me this job, then wouldn’t let me do it. I want all of you gone. Now!” She started walking.
Jamie ran after her on his crutches.
When Hallie got to the house she didn’t go into the kitchen. For all she knew there might be people in there. Instead, she went around to the side and threw open the doors to the tea room. Thankfully, it was empty.
Jamie was right behind her. “I never meant to hide anything,” he said, his voice genuinely contrite. “I just wanted to be normal, that’s all. My family treats me like I’m a delicate piece of glass that’s about to shatter if they breathe too hard.”
She turned to him. “Normal? You think this situation is normal?! You’re isolated with your own private physical therapist. I needed to know about your injuries, but you played a childish game of hide-and-seek. Tell me what’s normal about that!”
Jamie hobbled over to be closer to her. “It’s not the physical therapist part that’s the problem, it’s just that you’re so pretty, so desirable. From the moment I saw you I have been out of my mind with wanting you.” He was smiling at her so very sweetly.
“So now I’m supposed to fall into your arms?” Hallie said. “Is that what you think I’m going to do? You admit you’re willing to jump into bed with me and I am supposed to instantly forgive you?”
“Well, I did think it would make a difference if you knew and I thought…” He could see that every word he spoke was making her even angrier. For a second he seemed to hear Dr. Huntley’s laughter at him, saying he’d never been “on the receiving end of a woman’s rage over a man’s prevarications.” And it was true that he didn’t know what to say or do to make her forgive him.
When he made a step toward her, she backed up. “Hallie, please let me explain,” he said. “I thought—” He broke off because his three cousins were outside the window behind Hallie. They were holding up pieces of paper with words on them. Adam’s said “Apologize.” Ian had written “Grovel.” And Raine’s paper said “Tell her you’re wrong.”
“I’m sorry,” Jamie said. “I was wrong. I thought of myself and that’s all.”
“Yes, you did!” Hallie said. “You were utterly selfish.”
He took another step toward her, but again she stepped back.
“I just wanted some time away from pity, that’s all,” Jamie said and the words were from his heart.
“So you let me nearly go crazy wondering what was wrong with you? All because you thought I’d pity you?”
The men outside were nodding at this. “Yes, I did,” Jamie said, his head down.
“You had no respect for my profession.”
Outside, the men nodded in agreement.
“I’m really sorry and you are right. I didn’t respect you or your expertise and I thought of no one but myself. It’s just that—” He stopped when the men started vigorously shaking their heads no. Raine made the motion of zipping his mouth closed.
As Hallie looked at his nearly bare body, a tiny bit of anger left her. He s
till had on only the towel and the brace. Up close, the gashes and cuts were worse than they’d first appeared. “So what else is there? PTSD?”
“Yeah. I’m—” Jamie stopped talking.
“When the gate slams?”
“I go into a stance of defense,” he said.
Hallie nodded. “Your fear to leave the grounds?”
“Crowds, strangers, places I don’t know, they all…” He took a breath. This wasn’t easy for a man to admit. “They scare me.”
“What medications are you on?”
“For sleep, anxiety, depression.” He paused. “But Hallie, since I’ve been with you, I’ve tapered off. You’ve been the best thing that’s happened to me. You—” When he stepped closer to her, this time she didn’t back away.
“Wait a minute! You told Dr. Huntley, didn’t you? You told a stranger what you were going through but not me. No, you let me try to figure it out. I’m here to help you, but you wouldn’t even take off your shirt. You…” He was only a few feet from her and the thought of what he’d been through was beginning to sink in. Anger was being replaced with tears.
“Hallie, I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “Really, I am. I just wanted you to see me as a whole man, not as damaged. I didn’t want you to think of me as less than a man.”
Some of her anger returned, but it was different. “Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds? You’re more of a man than anyone I’ve ever met. You care about…about everyone. You’re funny and smart and…I thought we were becoming friends. But you ran off with your brother and left me alone with your naked cousins.”
It was sinking in to Jamie that she wasn’t going to feel sorry for him. Todd had talked him into staying away for a couple of days to give them both time to think. But Jamie had agonized over her meeting men who weren’t damaged by war and life. And she had reduced them to “naked cousins.” He wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry in joy.
He motioned for the guys to leave, then took a step toward her. “I did a stupid, selfish thing because I didn’t know women like you existed. I assumed you were like everyone else and would be sickened at the sight of me.” His heart was in his words. His pride, his very manhood, was there. To admit his failings was almost as painful as the wounds on his body. “Hallie, I have problems, deep ones, and I honestly don’t know how to handle them. I can’t sleep well without pills. I—”