Page 18 of Unintended Heroes


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  A full hour passed before Reason returned. He found the pair debating the best position to adopt in order to gain the most comfort from their chairs. They had stopped paying attention to the screen. Reason sighed, believing they had given up.

  “No luck then. Not to worry. We’ll thi….”

  “Comfy seating.” Brick interrupted the seat debate to interrupt Reason’s dismissive sentence. It took the giant penguin a moment to realise he was being spoken to.

  “….nk of something that. Sorry. Were you speaking to me?”

  “About the comfy seating thing?” Brick wanted to avoid any confusion.

  “Yes.”

  “Then yes. Comfy seating is the answer.” Brick was failing in his quest for clarity.

  “Remind me of the question.” Reason had lost the thread.

  “You asked us to tell you any differences between that planet and our home. There’s no comfy seating on the planet you just showed us. There are chairs with average cushions for some comfort but there’s nowhere that will suck you in and force you to stay there for a week and a half eating anything that doesn’t need cooking and can be dipped.”

  “And the television sets were rubbish. Although we believe that’s because there was no call to improve them as people wouldn’t sit down long enough to watch them; social consequence and all that.” Spiritwind added to the point before adding to the sandwich in his mouth with a further piece of sandwich.

  “You’re sure about this?” Reason looked as excited as a penguin with a static beak could.

  Brick turned back to Reason and answered for the pair. He and Spiritwind were desperate to get back to their bickering. “Obviously there were many other differences: gadgetry, living room layout etc, but me and my esteemed colleague feel all of these stem from the fact that comfy seating hasn’t evolved to the same degree. Without a comfy chair to keep you in, none of the gadgets we use to prevent us having to leave them have occurred.”

  “This is marvellous. How exciting. I must apply it to our current thinking immediately. Thank you so much. You may return to your rooms.” Reason veered back inside, a million extra thoughts running through his mind.

  “Any time. Any other problems you need helping with, answer to life, that kind of thing?” Brick chased the penguin with words.

  “It would be best if you went to get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a very busy day, very busy indeed.” The tone suggested they should leave. It was one the pair had heard many times. They stood and wandered back towards the lift. A guard opened it as the duo waved goodbye to the back of Reason’s head. He was staring at a few large pieces of paper on a table. The guard didn’t step inside with the hero’s. Only his arm entered the lift to push the relevant button. The doors closed to a thoughtful Spiritwind.

  “Did that just happen or did the drink they gave us make us believe it happened?”

  “I wouldn’t worry about it until the morning. I’ve got a few phials here to have as nightcaps if you fancy it. They’ll go well with your butty.”

  “It’s not a butty, it’s a baguette. And yes.”

  “I thought a baguette was just a posh butty?” Brick rummaged for the phials.

  “You try telling the French that.”

  “Show me a Frenchman and I will.” Once more their body’s left their minds behind as the lift shot upwards. Out of politeness they awaited their return before continuing along a path they were yet to find a map for.

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